


Of Masks and Dreams

by FireShadow5



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Age Difference, Angst and Romance, Bonding, Canon Divergent, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 119,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27889426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireShadow5/pseuds/FireShadow5
Summary: Tsunade Senju saves a young Kakashi Hatake from death in the Third War. She returns fifteen years later as the Godaime Hokage, and Kakashi finds it difficult to forget old feelings when a mission requires him to work with the legendary Sannin. Perhaps there is more to her than temper and a beautiful face. After all, everyone has a mask.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Tsunade, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Tsunade, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Jiraiya & Tsunade (Naruto), Sai/Yamanaka Ino, Tsunade & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 69
Kudos: 84





	1. War

How could everything go so wrong?

Tsunade crumpled the missive and sank down on her couch. Konoha was entering the Third Shinobi War. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to vomit. Those were words she'd prayed she would never read again. Twelve years had passed since the second war, yet every memory of it was as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

Tsunade opened her eyes before her thoughts overwhelmed her, and gripped her necklace. For twelve years, she had stayed in Konoha, unable to leave, even though every time she stepped out of her home the memories of Nawaki and Dan were nearly too painful to bear.

And she hadn't been on a mission in years. She'd tried, but it had been obvious her crippling fear of blood left her no more than a hindrance to teammates. So, she'd asked Hiruzen to exempt her from missions.

But a war...

Tsunade stood, and walked to the window. Konoha looked peaceful, but she could sense the underlying tension that only war could bring. She clenched her teeth. Her people were at war, and their greatest medical-nin was hiding away.

_Coward._

Tsunade let out an agonized cry, and slammed her fist into the window frame. The wood splintered down the wall to the floor, and the foundation trembled. She sucked in a shaky breath. Along with other medical jutsu, she'd studied hemophobia for months, but hadn't found a way to free herself of it.

 _Nawaki... Dan..._ Tsunade slumped against the split window. They would want her to fight, to defend Konoha.

Tsunade straightened. She had to try. She would persevere through her memories, through her fear. She had the Will of Fire, after all. The front lines would need her skills the most, so she would head there first.

Tsunade snatched her mission pack from her closet, still unused since her last mission. She leaped through the window, and ran toward the forest.

* * *

Kakashi Hatake leaped from branch to branch easily, letting anger fuel his speed. How could Obito abandon the mission so easily?

Rin's terrified face flashed through his memory, and his foot slipped. Cursing, Kakashi dropped silently to the forest floor, and immediately bent his knees to spring back up into the treetops.

A flicker of white inked with characters. A spark.

Kakashi flung himself backward, twisting midair to avoid slamming into a tree trunk. But the explosion from the paper bomb knocked him off course, heat searing his skin. He crashed into another tree, and hit the leaf-strewn ground hard. Ignoring the pain shooting through his spine and neck, Kakashi rolled to his feet, every muscle tense. This— _this_ —was why the mission always came first. Just a mere brush of worry for his teammates caused him to stumble.

And Kakashi Hatake never stumbled.

"Hai, what do we have here? A foolish genin?" An Iwa-nin stepped out of the shadows, dark eyes gleaming.

Kakashi curled his fingers into a fist, breath hot on his mask. "I am Kakashi Hatake, a jōnin of Konohagakure!"

Low laughter surrounded him, and seven more Iwa-nin drifted out into the open, circling Kakashi. One of them spun a blackened kunai. "A jōnin? It seems we have our work cut out for us."

Eight of them _._ Kakashi narrowed his eyes. This would be... difficult. He gritted his teeth. If only Obito hadn't deserted him.

He had only one option. Minato-sensei had told him never again—but his sensei wasn't here either. If he was going to die, then he would die a worthy jōnin of Konoha. And unlike his father, he would die a worthy Hatake.

Kakashi focused on the Iwa-nin who'd appeared first. He dropped his right hand between his bent legs, and gripped his wrist. "Chidori!"

Chakra surged through his arm, materializing as chakra-infused lighting in his palm. Then he charged, summoning all his power behind the strike. He thrust forward—but fingers wrapped around his arm, and hurled him to the side.

Kakashi lashed out with his foot, but the kick barely grazed the Iwa-nin's jaw. He grunted, and flung Kakashi down. Kakashi's ribs cracked on impact. He hissed, and pushed off with his palms to spring back before he was hit with another attack.

"Rock fist!" An enlarged fist, flickering with chakra, punched Kakashi below the ribcage, and he slammed into the ground, skidding backward until an unyielding tree stopped his momentum.

Kakashi groaned, pressing a hand to his stomach. Something flashed toward him, and he lurched to the side as a kunai impaled the trunk. _Too clo—_

A wall of stone slammed into him, crushing him, and this time Kakashi couldn't hold back a scream. The stone rippled around the trunk, completely encasing his body, except for his head and arms. The Iwa shinobi closed his fingers, and the stone shell compressed around Kakashi. His ribs snapped, bones puncturing organs and flesh, and his spine ground into the tree trunk.

Kakashi couldn't breathe; couldn't see past the pain ripping through his body. He focused all of his willpower on his right arm, and lifted his gloved hand. If he reached the kunai... could chip away at the stone shell... he could at least go down fighting. Tears stung his eyes. He was a fool. Obito hadn't abandon him, Kakashi had abandoned him and Rin. They were supposed to be a team. And he, their leader, had abandoned both of them. If only he could get out of this. Then he would...

" _Baka_. If you move another inch, I'll compressed the stone so fast your bones with turn to dust. You've lost."

Kakashi raised his head just enough to see the Iwa-nin gathered around his tree, their pale faces smug, hands bristling with poison needles and kunai. "I won't... go... down... taking orders... from swine."

The Iwa-nin snarled and lifted his three kunai. Kakashi's fingers brushed the grip of the kunai impaled in the ground on his right.

A dark shape leaped from the treetops behind the Iwa-nin, blonde hair flying. Kakashi froze. Minato-sensei? No, it was a woman. But who—?

The blonde woman landed between Kakashi and the Iwa-nin, her heel slamming the ground. The impact shuddered through the ground, and it split, sending rocks, chunks of earth, and Iwa-nin flying. Kakashi's hand dropped from the kunai as he stared at the figure standing in front of him. Impossible. No one was that strong. The woman faced him, and he gaped under his mask.

She was the most beautiful person Kakashi had ever seen. Long blonde bangs hung on either side of a heart-shaped face with golden-brown eyes that seemed to glow. He blinked in an attempt to clear his head. Wait...

Incredible strength. Blonde hair. The violet diamond seal on her forehead. This was Tsunade Senju, the legendary Sannin and medical-nin. Kakashi swallowed, unable to tear his gaze from her face. But what was Tsunade doing here? She hadn't been on a mission in over ten years.

Tsunade stared at him. "Sak—Sakumo?" She blinked. "No... no. You're his son, aren't you? Kakashi Hatake." She strode to him, gaze intense. "Hold still. I will break you free."

She struck the stone shell, and it crumbled around Kakashi. Unable to hold himself up, he fell forward into Tsunade's arms. She gently lowered him to the ground, and Kakashi coughed, blood drooling from his mouth and nose. Black fuzzed at the corner of his vision, but he blinked hard, forcing himself to stay conscious.

Tsunade made a strangled noise, and he turned enough to make out her golden-brown eyes staring at him in horror. She clamped her shaking hands tightly. "No... not again."

"Wha...?" Kakashi couldn't get out the rest of his question through the gurgle of blood and saliva.

Tsunade shuddered. "I must... he will die if I—I don't." She shook her head, and a tear trickled down her cheek. " _Baka_. Why did I try? Why did I think I could do this? I am... no better than useless."

Kakashi wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't want her to cry. He managed to move his hand enough to touch her knee. "Don't—don't cry. I'll be... fine."

Tsunade's glistening gaze dropped to his hand, and her jaw tightened. He'd heard Tsunade could determine someone's condition just by looking at them, and if that were true, she knew he wasn't going to be fine. Kakashi's eyes drifted closed. If only he could see Obito and Rin one last time... and apologize. If only he could help Obito save Rin. If only he could train with Minato-sensei again.

Warm fingers touched Kakashi's hand, startling his eyes open. Tsunade was still trembling, but she'd slid her hand forward just enough to cover his. Her brow furrowed deep with concentration, and at last her hand flickered with healing chakra. The warmth from her head spread through his body, easing the pain.

After several minutes, the pain had almost faded. But now, even Tsunade's hand on his was shaking badly.

Kakashi removed his hand and pushed to his knees. The pain was nearly gone, and that was all he needed. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama. I have to go to my teammates, but I will return for you."

"No." With a great effort, Tsunade looked up at him. Something in her gaze seemed almost... shattered. "I—I have failed. I have nothing for Konoha. Promise me, you won't tell anyone I was here."

What? Kakashi curled his fingers into fists. Clearly, there were things going on he knew nothing about. His chest twisted. But she had just saved him. He couldn't leave her like this. "Tsunade-sama—"

"Promise me, Kakashi Hatake!" Tsunade's eyes blazed, like a flame sparking to life.

Kakashi clenched his teeth. Tsunade Senju was a jōnin and one of the Sannin. He couldn't disobey her. "I promise. But I _will_ return to help you."

Tsunade stared at him. Another tear fell, but she only bowed her head, white-knuckled fingers gripping her knees. "Go, Kakashi Hatake. Become a great shinobi."

Kakashi decided that was the best answer he was going to get. He sprang into the treetops, flying back the way Obito had gone. As soon as they had Rin, he would come back to aid Tsunade.

But when Kakashi did return—with Rin, a Sharingan, and his raging grief—Tsunade was long gone. Still, he couldn't shake the memory of those golden-brown eyes, agonized with grief and guilt... and memories.

Just like him.


	2. Awakening

_Fifteen years later._

Kakashi shot upright, Rin's dying face fading from his vision. His bare chest heaved, and he gripped fistfuls of the hospital blankets. Hospital?

Ah, yes. Itachi Uchiha. Getting mentally tortured for three days did tend to need recovery time. The only question was: how long had he been here? And where was Sasuke? Had he failed his student?

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto bounded up to Kakashi's bed, grinning. "I brought an awesome person here who healed you! Tsunade-baachan healed Sasuke too!"

_Tsunade—?_ Kakashi automatically touched his face to make sure his mask was on, and swiveled his head, finally taking in the other occupants of the room. Guy, watching anxiously from the door; a quiet, dark-haired woman holding a pig stood against the wall, and standing next to his bedside...

Tsunade Senju. She looked exactly the same as she had fifteen years ago. Blonde hair pulled back in two tails, and long, parted bangs framing a delicate, but intense face. Her honey eyes studied him, just as they had fifteen years ago. His chest tightened. Scratch that. She was even more beautiful than the first time he'd seen her, though now she had to be at least fifty.

If there was one thing Kakashi was good at, it was concealing his thoughts, emotions, or just feelings in general. But right now, that ability was stretched to the limit. After fifteen years of absence, Tsunade Senju, of all people, stood next to his bed. His fingers tightened on the blanket. What had brought her back after all this time?

And the bigger question... did she intend on staying? There was no doubt Konoha could use her skills right now.

"Kakashi Hatake. How did the copy ninja fall to two such opponents?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow, but compassion flickered in her gaze.

Kakashi closed his eyes and lowered his head. How indeed. "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama."

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei! Tsunade-baachan isn't just a lady. She will be the Godaime Hokage!" Naruto nodded importantly.

Hokage? So, she _had_ returned for good. Unable to sift through the emotions churning through him, Kakashi gathered himself enough to smile and ruffle Naruto's spiky blond hair. "Maa, Naruto-kun. You sure are involved these days."

"Hai!" Naruto sprang to the door. "Come on, Tsunade-baachan! Next is Bushy Brow!"

A warm hand rested on Kakashi's bare shoulder, and Tsunade smiled down at him. "Rest, Kakashi-san. You have been through a lot."

With that, she swept out the door with Guy, followed by the dark-haired woman and the pig.

Well... that had been unexpected. Kakashi blinked, feeling as though he'd just been caught under a tidal wave. His gaze drifted to the door. After Tsunade had saved him fifteen years ago, he hadn't been able to get her out of his mind for months. Granted, it had been the addled mind of a twelve-year-old boy, and his crush—if it could even be called that—had faded years ago.

So, why was the warmth from her hand on his shoulder spreading through his body?

Kakashi frowned. Memories couldn't be dismissed so easily, as he should know. He was merely reacting to his memory of her. Besides, it seemed Tsunade was now his hokage, and he would treat her as such.

* * *

_Two days later._

Tsunade quietly exited Lee's room, and took a moment to slump against the wall in the hospital hallway. She sighed, massaging the back of her aching neck. Thank the shinobi gods, the seven-hour surgery had been a success. Lee would be able to fulfill his dream of becoming a ninja, and that was all that really mattered.

After all, helping her people fulfill their dreams was the main reason she'd agreed to become hokage. Sometimes, all they needed was someone to believe in them, and she intended to be that person.

Tsunade glanced at her clipboard, and started down the hall. Since they still had patients to check on, Shizune had stayed behind to make sure Lee was properly cared for post-surgery. Though if she were honest, the real reason she'd left Shizune behind was because level-headed Shizune was a much better choice to deal with an emotional Guy. If she'd had to endure that man's presence another moment...

First on the list: Kakashi Hatake. Tsunade stopped outside of his room with a rueful smile. If anyone was the complete opposite of Guy, it would be the silver-haired copy ninja. She gave a sharp knock. "Coming in."

Tsunade was met with a silent, empty room. The bed was perfectly made, and there was no sign Kakashi had ever occupied the space. Even his scent was gone. She turned in a slow half-circle, anger rising. Typical jōnin. Even back in the Second War, they always seemed to think they knew their bodies better than she, the best medical-nin in the world, did. Still, they all only attempted to leave once. Very soon, Kakashi would find out why. But first, she would finish her rounds and check on the Uchiha boy.

Tsunade strode down the hall, heels clicking. She slowed outside of Uchiha's room, even though the door was open, just in case the pink-haired girl was back. Children though they were, she didn't want to interrupt something.

"...revenge isn't the way to live your life. Don't let it consume you." The slow, even drawl was none other than Kakashi Hatake.

Tsunade stopped in the open doorway, her fist lifted to knock on the wall. Sure enough, the copy ninja had perched on the edge of the Uchiha boy's bed—in full jōnin uniform, no less—his back to her. Her mouth twisted. Did he really intend to leave without her consent? At least she wouldn't have to track him down. But then she replayed his words in her mind, and frowned. Clearly, this was a conversation she shouldn't interrupt.

"Don't tell me how to live my life. You have no idea what I've been through, what I've seen," the Uchiha boy said coldly, his black gaze fixed on Kakashi.

"Maa, I understand more than you think. Trust me when I say you'll regret it." Kakashi's mild tone hadn't changed.

"Never say you understand! Never!" the Uchiha boy snarled. "I lost everyone. What if I kill everyone precious to you? How would you like that?"

What kind of student would say such a thing to his sensei? Briefly, Tsunade reflected that it probably a good thing she'd never been assigned a team. She had no patience for this kind of disrespect. She had no doubt the Uchiha boy had been through a lot, but then, so had everyone. Considering yourself above others—from tragic experiences to skills—was a dangerous way of thinking.

Kakashi hummed, apparently unperturbed. "Ah, well, I'd be fine with it. As it happens, everyone precious to me is dead."

Tsunade stilled. The way he said it... she'd had no idea Kakashi Hatake was so similar to her. She sighed. But, unlike her, he was young. He still had time to gain more precious people, if he only realized it.

The Uchiha boy was silent. Apparently, Kakashi's comment had shocked him as much as Tsunade. But then his black eyes focused past Kakashi, and found Tsunade. His gaze narrowed.

Kakashi turned, and his single eye widened at the sight of Tsunade in the doorway. He stood quickly. "Hokage-sama."

Tsunade stepped inside, fighting to hide her compassion for the jōnin. He surely didn't want it. She tapped her clipboard as if she'd just arrived. "I am here to check on my patient."

"Ah, of course. Excuse me." Kakashi dipped his masked chin, and started for the door.

"Kakashi-san." Tsunade's sharp tone stopped him in his tracks. "Wait for me outside, please."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Kakashi's eye twitched, but he stepped out without another word.

Tsunade finished her check-up, ordered the Uchiha boy to stay in bed, then walked out. True to his word, Kakashi waited outside, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

Tsunade paused, and studied him out of the corner of her eye as she pretended to read her clipboard. There was no doubt that this Kakashi Hatake was much different than the boy she had saved in the Third War. She'd heard of the death of his sensei not long after she'd left Konoha, but she had no doubt there was much more to his past than that. She was gradually reading through all of her shinobis' files, and she now knew whose she'd read next.

"Maa, want me to turn around?" Kakashi tilted his head, eye gleaming.

Tsunade bristled, though heat flowed her cheeks. She'd watched him a little too long. "Hardly. I am able to determine a patient's condition from a moment's observation. And your body has told me all I need to know."

Kakashi pushed off the wall. "Ah. But I can't help thinking that was a bit longer than a few moments."

How impertinent. Was he actually implying...? Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "I don't appreciate such a comment from one of my jōnin. As for my observation, I can conclude that your body needs another week of rest in bed. And no more leaving your room without permission."

Kakashi had paled considerably while she'd talked. He cleared his throat. "I apologize, Hokage-sama. Sometimes I speak without thinking. I did not mean to imply... that is... please don't think I meant anything by it."

Tsunade sighed, suddenly weighed down with exhaustion. He couldn't possibly know how many times she'd been subjected to suggestive comments—all much worse than his attempted joke—and had left her rather sensitive to such things. But... he had apologized. She crossed her arms. "If you're so determined to get out, then I will let you go. _If_ you pass my test."

Kakashi blinked, clearly taken aback by her change of attitude. "I—of course. What is the test, if you don't mind my asking?"

Tsunade smiled, more than a little smugly. The poor jōnin had no idea what he was getting into. "Defeating me in a one-on-one taijutsu match."

* * *

Kakashi stretched his stiff arms, eying Tsunade across the hospital courtyard. He'd never imagined she would put him up to such a test, but he intended to hold back. In part for respect of her position as hokage, but he also knew it had been years since she'd done any kind of training. He, meanwhile, had been at the top of his taijutsu class and hadn't stopped training since.

Tsunade returned his gaze evenly, hands resting on her hips. She hadn't done any warming up or preparation that he'd seen. Instead, she'd just stood there silently. Waiting for him to finish.

Kakashi flexed his fingers uneasily. Had he underestimated her? She was one of the legendary Sannin, after all, formerly retired or not. Too bad he didn't know much about her fighting style. He preferred to get a read on his opponent before engaging, but he didn't have a choice here.

_Enough stalling_. Kakashi shook his head, and shifted back into an offensive stance. He had to admit he didn't much like the idea of fighting Tsunade, but he'd do what he had to do.

Tsunade returned his nod, and moved into her own stance as Kakashi charged. It was one he hadn't seen before, but he didn't have time to analyze it. He reached her in three steps, and brought his right fist around in the first strike of a three-hit combination. She'd dodge it, and he would use her movement to get in his next—

Except Tsunade didn't dodge. She caught his wrist, redirecting his momentum and throwing him off balance. Her fist punched him squarely in the stomach, and the next thing he knew, he'd slammed into the ground, the breath gone from his lungs.

Kakashi rolled and sprang to his feet, chest aching as he struggled for air. He didn't have time to think about what had just happened. He needed to make a move before Tsunade had time to advance.

He leaped, twisting his body for a double kick—but Tsunade was already up in the air to meet him. Kakashi barely had time to lift his hands as she spun, the back of her leg catching him around the neck. He vaguely realized he'd seized her leg in attempt to slow her momentum, one hand accidentally grabbing her upper thigh, but the thought vanished as he hit the ground back-first with the force of a two-ton boulder.

The world spun, but Kakashi managed to stagger to his feet. Tsunade stood a couple of feet from the crater, waiting. "Had enough, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi blinked rapidly to clear his vision. He was beginning to realize he'd never had a chance, and uncomfortable heat grew in his chest at the memory of his arrogant thoughts at the beginning of the match. Still, he wasn't going to give up that easily. "I'm not out of moves, yet."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, but a smile hinted at the corner of her pink lips. "You're stubborn, I'll give you that."

Kakashi shot forward. He just had to move fast enough so that she couldn't get a hit on him. He reached her in seconds and attacked with a burst of punches and strikes. But Tsunade's hands, tipped with red nails, blocked every single one. Knowing it was his only chance, Kakashi switched to a rapid double maneuver. It would leave him open for the briefest moment, but if it worked—his palm struck Tsunade's side.

Her eyes widened. But even in her surprise, Kakashi instantly knew she hadn't missed the opening he'd given her. Sure enough, her fist crunched under his chin a breath later, and stars flashed through his vision as he flew up and back. Kakashi managed to turn his momentum into a backwards flip, but his disorientation made it an awkward one, and he landed in a painful face-and-chest plant on the ground instead of on his feet.

Groaning, Kakashi slowly pushed himself to his knees, and ruefully rubbed his sore chin. It would be foolish to continue any longer. He lifted his eye to Tsunade's. "Maa, I concede, Tsunade-sama. You are more than a match for me."

Tsunade was inspecting him, almost as intently as she had been earlier in the hospital. And just like before, he could feel his ears growing hot. Why did she have to have such an effect on men? It wasn't fair. He stood, clearing his throat to get a hold of himself. It wasn't fair at all.

"Ah, perhaps I went a bit too far." Tsunade finally returned his gaze, apparently done with her inspection. Her cheeks pinked in... embarrassment? "It's been a while since I've had a match with someone."

For some reason, Kakashi wanted to reassure her. Or maybe it was just his injured pride. "You didn't harm me, Tsunade-sama. I haven't had a match this stimulating in a long time."

Tsunade smirked. "Stimulating, hmm?"

At that moment, Kakashi was reminded of his very inappropriate grab of her thigh. And the even more unfortunate fact that he remembered exactly what it felt like. He bowed, hoping she couldn't sense the heat creeping over his skin. "I failed the test, so I will return to my room."

Tsunade lifted her chin in acknowledgement. "I will expect to see you there every day this week, Kakashi Hatake."

Suddenly, staying in the hospital for a week didn't seem so bad. In fact, it might be good for him to take a bit of time to relax and rest. Kakashi grimaced as he bowed again. Not to mention, the effects of this fight would stay with him for a few days. He started for the hospital's back door, using all of his willpower not to limp.

But a question still nagged him. Kakashi halted, and looked back at Tsunade. She stood with her arms crossed, watching him leave. He rubbed the back of his neck. "How did you know you would win?"

Tsunade gazed out past the courtyard, as if remembering a different time. "Experience." She glanced at him with a hint of amusement. "And I was at the top of my taijutsu class."

Kakashi sighed. He was a fool, no doubt about it. He offered Tsunade a nod, then entered the hospital. But that didn't stop him from a smile as he made his way down the hallway, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

Perhaps he'd hit his head too hard.


	3. The Mission

Tsunade flipped through another report and sighed heavily. How did one village accumulate so much paperwork? She eyed the stacks of reports looming on her desk. One simple jutsu, and they would all be incinerated. She smiled. Tempting, but not something the hokage should be doing. Or thinking, really. Shizune would have a heart attack if she even guessed at the direction of Tsunade's thoughts.

Tsunade rolled her stiff shoulders. She needed a drink. Or two. Hard as she tried, no amount of work could dull the pain in her chest. Thirty-plus years hadn't lessened the memory of what had happened this day.

_Oh, Nawaki._ She closed her eyes. If only he had lived long enough for her to get to him.

A figure landed on her open window, and Tsunade sighed again. She didn't need to look up as Jiraiya hopped in. "What do you want?"

"Hai, Tsunade." Jiraiya leaned over the desk. "You've been hard at work. Care to join me for a drink?"

Tsunade continued skimming the report. A missing cat. _Again_. She assigned it a D-rank, and tossed it on the growing pile. "I can't, Jiraiya. This paperwork isn't going anywhere." Not to mention Shizune would withhold her sake for a week if she so much as stepped outside the office without finishing the stack on her desk. "Besides, didn't I give you a mission?"

"Ahhh, hai, hai. But I thought one more drink before I left would be nice." Jiraiya offered a hopeful, yet wary, grin. "And maybe a stop at the mixed bathing house, eh?"

Tsunade glared at him. Jiraiya never gave up. " _No_." She raised her fist. "Get out of here before I break your ribs again."

"Ay, I'm leaving." Jiraiya held up his hands defensively. "Continue the good work, baachan!"

Tsunade shot to her feet, but Jiraiya vanished before she could land a well-deserved blow. Muttering to herself, she sat back in her chair. "Baachan, indeed. I'm no older than he. _Baka_." She glanced at her slender, red-nail-tipped hand, and bit her lip. She might not be more than a few months older than Jiraiya, but the use of her Creation Rebirth had taken a toll on her appearance. Thus, the transformation jutsu.

Tsunade shook away her thoughts and focused on the next report. She frowned. A strange, uncurable illness had struck the northern mountain village Yamagawa. She ran her finger down the page until she located symptoms.

Red spidery veins, much like infections, then dizziness and shortness of breath, loss of ability to use limbs, and finally, the body seems to consume itself.

Tsunade clenched her jaw. This was no natural illness. It had been created by a powerful medical-nin. She rolled up the report. If the team she sent was unable to find the source—which was very likely—they would have to concoct a complex remedy on the fly, and for an artificial disease, no less. Not even Shizune had such skills. She tapped her chin. Well, then. Perhaps she'd get her wish to get out after all.

Tsunade's gaze fell to the list of available jōnin in the village, and she compressed her lips. She'd wanted to give him more time to recover, but it seemed that wouldn't be possible.

Tsunade turned to the door. "Shizune?"

Her assistant appeared in moments, Tonton on her heels. "Hai, Tsunade-sama?"

"I need to speak with Kakashi Hatake about a mission. Summon him, please." Tsunade dropped her gaze back to the report on her desk as Shizune left and rested her chin on her fist. Hmm. She hadn't had to use such skills since the Second War.

She'd better start studying. Perhaps that would be a better distraction.

* * *

Kakashi accepted the bottle of sake and tossed the vendor a coin. "My thanks."

He turned, and sped toward the hokage's office. One of the chūnin had informed him the Godaime Hokage had summoned him, and he couldn't deny his anticipation. Could it be a mission at last? The hokage wanted him to rest even after he'd been discharged from the hospital, but a week was far too long, especially with the need for every shinobi and kunoichi to contribute.

He hadn't even been able to continue Team 7's training. Naruto spent most of his time with Jiraiya, and Sasuke was still recovering. Sakura didn't have interest in anything besides tending to Sasuke. Kakashi shook his head at his genin's persistence. He might not agree with her priorities, but he couldn't help wondering what it felt like to have someone who cared for you that much.

Kakashi sighed. Hadn't he grown past that? Yet here he was, a twenty-seven-year old man, dreaming of... what? Bah. Being confined to the village had given him far too much time to read Jiraiya's books. Not that he was complaining.

Kakashi stopped at the bottom of the hokage's building, but hesitated. He was already late, and while that was usual for him, he didn't want his tardiness to cost him a mission. And with the new hokage's quick temper, that seemed likely.

He glanced up. One of Tsunade's windows was open. It was too good an opportunity to miss, so he sprang up to land on the windowsill, mentally continuing his conversation. Ay, he'd been thinking too much. He needed a mission. He glanced at the ceramic bottle in his hand. Hopefully, the sake would help with that.

He slipped into the hokage's office—and stopped. The Godaime Hokage was slumped forward on folded arms, fast asleep over an open book. He cracked a smile. Was that... a snore?

Kakashi moved closer with the utmost caution. Tsunade was already on her third desk, and he didn't want to be the cause of death for the fourth one.

When he came within view of the hokage's face, he stopped at an unexpected stirring in his chest. How strange to see Tsunade in such an unguarded state. But her brow was pinched; a sign she'd been worrying.

Kakashi's grip tightened on the sake. If only he could do something...

Kakashi immediately reined in the thought. He was her jōnin, and it was his duty to serve the hokage. Anything beyond that, anything personal, wasn't right. Besides, he'd only known Tsunade for a few weeks. That wasn't nearly long enough for him to be considering personal favors.

He glanced at the sake, and a rueful smile pulled at his mouth. Personal favors, indeed.

Kakashi directed his attention back at the hokage. He'd just have to hope Tsunade didn't react in violence. "Maa, a fine day, isn't it, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade stirred, blinking sleepily. Then she saw him. She shot up, narrowed golden-brown eyes fixing on him in an instant. "What did you—?" Annoyance replaced suspicion. "You certainly took your time, Kakashi-san."

"Ay, I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. I was delayed with this." He held out the sake. "Please accept it with my sincerest apologies."

"Sake?" Both of Tsunade's eyebrows lifted, but she took the bottle and took a deep drink. Then another. And another.

Kakashi shoved both hands in his pockets, though his muscles tensed for some reason. Clearly, something was bothering her. If he had to guess, it was beyond the usual leadership worries. Perhaps something to do with his mission?

Tsunade set the bottle on her crowded desk with one last longing glance. "I regret that since you are one of the last available jōnin, I have brought you here for a mission briefing."

_At last._ "I am ready, Hokage-sama. Respectfully."

Tsunade's eyes flashed. " _I_ will decide when you are ready." She picked up a file and tossed it at him.

Kakashi snagged it, of course, but it still caught him off guard. The Third Hokage had never thrown a mission file to—or _at_ —him. But if he wasn't going on a mission, as Tsunade seemed to be implying... he straightened, almost insulted. Had he become a messenger boy? "Who is this mission for, then, honorable Hokage?"

"You, of course." Something like a smirk crossed Tsunade's face. "Read the briefing. You will need a medical-nin for this mission."

Kakashi dropped his eye to the report, trying to ignore the rush of relief and annoyance. He'd been played by the Godaime, and had fallen straight into it.

But perhaps he'd deserved it, what with sneaking into her room and all.

He scanned the briefing. B-rank, with the possibility of becoming A-rank. Uncurable illness. Unknown source, but definitely man-made. Ay, he'd need a medical-nin. One with considerable skill. And there was only one he could think of. "Shizune will be accompanying me, then?"

"Hai."

Kakashi lifted his gaze to the hokage. Tsunade rested one hand on her desk. "Take Naruto with you as well. He needs something to occupy him with Jiraiya gone, and this will be good experience."

"Hai." Kakashi dipped his chin. She was right. In fact, he should have already thought of his hyper-active student.

Tsunade crossed her arms, gaze resting on the file in his hands. "I have already informed Shizune of the mission. She will meet you at the front gates in an hour. I leave Naruto to you."

"Hai." Kakashi lifted two fingers to his forehead. Before heading to the door, something compelling him to speak. "Maa, thanks for the mission, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Do you usually thank your hokage for missions?"

Silently berating himself, Kakashi shrugged, and scratched the back of his head. "Ah, well. Sitting around does get tiresome."

Tsunade stared out the balcony, and he barely caught her sighed, "Believe me, I know." She looked back at him, and for the first time, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. "The sake was appreciated. But next time, use the door."

Kakashi slid his hands back in his pockets, mission file clamped under his elbow. She needed a distraction. Spurred by impulse, he offered, "Whatever you wish... Tsunade-chama."

Tsunade's expression shifted to shock, and he darted through the door before she could react, leaving the hokage's quarters behind in a blur. Perhaps he'd pushed a little far, but better that she see him as the laid-back, slightly impertinent ninja he was now, than the overly-intense, hard ninja he'd been when she'd met him.

He didn't let his past control him anymore. He'd moved past that weakness.

It didn't take Kakashi long to find Naruto. After all, it was nearly supper time, and that was one thing Naruto Uzumaki didn't miss. Especially if it were ramen.

Kakashi leaned against the opening of the ramen shop, and watched Naruto slurp down his third bowl. He was just getting started, then. "Ay, Naruto. Better finish quick. I have a mission for us."

Naruto spun, mouth bulging with ramen. "A mission?!" At Kakashi's nod, he grinned and punched the air. "Hai! I'm ready, Kakashi-sensei!"

True to his word, Naruto finished his ramen in two gulps, and jumped to Kakashi's side. Kakashi handed Naruto his mission pack, and they started toward the gate. Naruto peered past Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei, where are Sakura-chan and Sasuke?"

Kakashi kept his gaze ahead. Sure enough, the robed figure of Shizune waited for them. Surprisingly, Tonton was nowhere to be seen. He supposed the pig had stayed with Tsunade. "Ah, well, Sasuke is not yet well enough for a mission, and Sakura is caring for him. Looks like it will just be me and you. And Shizune."

Naruto wrinkled his nose in confusion. "Shizune? Why her, Kakashi-sensei?"

"This mission requires an expert medical-nin." Kakashi stopped, and gave Shizune a nod. "Hai, Shizune-san."

Shizune bowed back, albeit a bit stiffly. "Hai, Kakashi Hatake. Hai, Naruto-kun." Her soft voice barely reached his ears. "Shall we move out? We should make progress before dark."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Did Shizune think she was in charge of the mission? Perhaps the hokage hadn't made that clear. Nevertheless, he decided to let it go for now. "Hai. I'll take lead. Naruto, you take rear."

Naruto bobbed his head. "Hai. No worries, Shizune-chan. We will protect you!"

Kakashi opened his mouth to point out that she was more than capable of protecting herself, but Shizune beat him to it. She gave Naruto a light smack on the back of the head. " _Baka_. I can take care of myself."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, and squinted after Shizune in confusion as she headed for the trees. "What's wrong with Shizune? She's acting like Tsunade-baachan."

Kakashi started after Shizune, adjusting his pack. "Maa, Naruto-kun. Sometimes you put your foot in your mouth."

But his student did have a point. Perhaps Shizune was merely worried about how much—or little—work Tsunade would get done without her. He eyed Shizune as they raced through the treetops.

Or maybe it was something else.


	4. Memories

Tsunade leaped from branch to branch behind Kakashi, one hand holding up the long robe Shizune preferred. Bah, longer robes were such trouble. If only she could take the appearance of someone other than Shizune.

But Shizune was the only one who could take the appearance of Tsunade, as her assistant knew the hokage's duties better than Tsunade did. And it wouldn't do for the other villages to hear of the hokage leaving on a mission. Even so, it had taken an absurd amount of convincing to get Shizune to agree to the plan.

Kakashi stopped up ahead, crouching on a wide branch. Tsunade landed next to him, and watched the copy ninja out of the corner of her eye. So far, she hadn't seen any sign of ill effects bothering him. Sometimes, she wondered if he remembered their brief encounter during the Third Shinobi War. As she'd suspected when she first saw him, he had grown into an impressive shinobi. But she'd also read his file after their encounter in the hospital, and her respect had only grown.

How had he continued on after enduring so much? Tsunade studied his profile. Or maybe that mask hid more than just his face.

Naruto appeared next to her. His blue eyes scanned the trees around them. "Is someone here, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Nah, Naruto-kun. There's a good place to camp for the night just ahead." Kakashi's eye flicked to Tsunade, as if waiting for approval.

Why? She had placed him in charge of this mission... Tsunade grimaced. Ah, yes. She'd forgotten her place earlier, and clearly, Kakashi hadn't forgotten. Bother. Acting like Shizune would be harder than she'd thought. But why was Kakashi humoring her? "Hai, good."

Kakashi's eye crinkled, as if amused, then he dropped to the forest floor below. Tsunade and Naruto followed. She studied the small clearing approvingly. Yes, this would be a good place to stay the night. Kakashi was already digging trip wire and shuriken out of his bag, so she approached him. Hmm. How would Shizune go about this? "Kakashi-san, I will help set up the perimeter."

Kakashi tipped his masked face up to her, then shrugged. "Hai. You can take the north side." He handed her a roll of wire. "It's been a while since you were on a mission, hmm?"

"Hai, you could say that." But she didn't want to think about the last time she'd been on a mission. Today was hard enough as it was.

Tsunade slipped into the forest. Though it had been twenty-plus years since she'd been on a mission, she hadn't forgotten how to set a perimeter. Nor how to hide undetectable shuriken or set a wire so an enemy wouldn't see it.

But she'd had other motives for wanting to move outside the camp. She peered past branches waving in the breeze. As she'd thought. A small outskirt village lay no more than two miles away. Since becoming hokage, she'd sworn off gambling. But tonight, she needed her old distractions to cope with the memories assaulting her.

Tsunade set up the rest of the wire, then headed back into camp. Naruto was already sprawled in front of the bedrolls, munching on rations. She ruffled his hair as she walked past. "Using up your rations already, Naruto-kun?"

He made a face at her. "That's what they're for, Shizune-san. Besides, I'm hungry."

Kakashi dropped out the trees, landing next to Naruto. "Careful, Naruto-kun. Or you won't have anything to eat when we reach the northern mountains. They don't have ramen shops up there, you know."

"Whaa..." Naruto's eyes widened, and he lowered what remained of his rations. "Is that true, Shizune-san?"

Tsunade smiled, but her chest tightened. Normally, his similarities to Nawaki warmed her. Tonight, it only brought an aching pain. "I couldn't say, Naruto-kun. I've never been there." At least, Shizune hadn't. She exhaled carefully. "Speaking of rations, I saw a small village close by. I think I will go replenish our supplies."

Kakashi looked up from inspecting a kunai, pale eyebrow raised. "Eh, more supplies? We only left Konoha a few hours ago."

"And?" Tsunade sent a pointed look at Naruto. "It couldn't hurt. Besides, I forgot a few things. It's been a while since I've been on a mission, as you said. I'll return soon, hai?"

Kakashi's gray eye narrowed thoughtfully, but at last he tipped his masked chin in a nod. "You can take second watch."

Tsunade nodded, and flashed up into the trees. She clamped her eyes shut as she headed to the village, but a tear leaked free. Nawaki. Dan. For twenty-seven years, she had been alone. Now, as hokage, she was more alone than ever.

She wiped her eyes fiercely, and stopped at the village. It was time to accept it.

No more losing herself in self-pity and grief. Tsunade turned away from the gambling house, and walked toward the outskirts of the village. She would say goodbye to Nawaki and Dan one last time. Then she would move on, and focus all she had on becoming the greatest hokage she could be.

But that didn't mean she couldn't unwind with a few drinks afterwards.

* * *

Kakashi narrowed his eye from his perch among the trees. As he'd thought, Shizune wasn't going to get supplies. Instead, she walked toward a small stream that lay on the southern outskirts of the town, occasionally wiping at her face. Something was clearly wrong, even if this was Shizune, which he greatly doubted. He'd left Naruto back at camp, deciding not to tell his student of his doubts until he figured it out.

Kakashi slipped after Shizune, keeping his distance in the treetop shadows. But whoever was masquerading as Shizune didn't slow or even look back. Clearly, they didn't expect to be followed. Or didn't sense him as a threat. Shizune dropped to her knees at the bank, head lowered. Her shoulders trembled, and at last she lifted her head. Her transformation jutsu faded, leaving behind long blonde hair and a green haori.

The Godaime Hokage?

Stunned, Kakashi remained crouched on the tree branch, unable to move. Why had Tsunade taken Shizune's place on the mission? And what was she...?

Tsunade held a single flower. She whispered something, then set the flower in the stream, brushing the petals as it floated away.

He shouldn't be here. Whatever Tsunade was doing, it wasn't any of his business. Kakashi stood, silently cursing. What would his hokage think if she saw him intruding on such a private moment?

"You can come out, Kakashi-san." Tsunade turned enough that the moonlight caught her profile in silver light.

Kakashi dropped from the tree, and landed silently, every muscle tense. Why hadn't he just left when he'd seen the hokage? "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. I didn't—"

"Did you think I am so out of practice that I wouldn't notice when I am being followed?" Tsunade demanded. Then she sighed. "Besides, I know when my acting isn't convincing. You would have found out sooner or later."

"I do not think you are out of practice, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said quietly. "You are the Godaime Hokage."

"Hmph." Tsunade looked out at the stream. Her voice lowered to a whisper, "I came out here to say goodbye to Nawaki and Dan."

Her brother and love? Kakashi shifted. "Hokage-sama, you don't have to explain—"

Tsunade held up her hand, silencing him. "Today is the day that my brother left me. And I wanted to remember him—and Dan—before letting them go." Her mouth twisted ruefully. "I'm telling you, Kakashi-san, because I think you would understand. You, too, have lost those you care about."

It wasn't a question. But then, she would have read his file. Kakashi closed his eyes. "Hai." Even the word felt heavy. "I understand."

Tsunade eyed him, then turned toward the village. "I'm going to get a drink. You look like you could use one too."

Kakashi hesitated. Tsunade could take care of herself, of course, but he didn't like the idea of leaving her to get drunk in a new town. Besides... maybe he could use a drink or two. And that was how Kakashi found himself following his hokage to nearest bar.

He settled on the stool next to Tsunade, watching as she ordered a bottle of sake. With practiced ease, she first poured Kakashi a shot, then one for herself. She sipped slowly without glancing at Kakashi, apparently lost in her thoughts. Or maybe she was just giving him privacy, which he appreciated. Kakashi drank his own sake, covering his face after every sip. The sake was warm and comforting, mellowing his senses. Bit by bit, he relaxed.

He barely noticed when Tsunade ordered her second, then third bottle. He just kept drinking whenever she refilled his shot. A fourth later, he vaguely realized what a fool he was. He'd prided himself on never using alcohol to dull the pain before. But one night with Tsunade, and he'd drunken himself into a stupor.

A hand grasped his arm, and Tsunade's voice echoed in his ears. "Come, Kakashi-san. We need to get back to camp."

Kakashi tilted his head back enough to look at his hokage. Tsunade's cheek were slightly flushed, but other than that, she didn't seem very affected. He should have known she'd be able to hold her alcohol much better than him. But... hadn't he joined her to keep an eye on her and provide assistance if she got too drunk? He wanted to groan. So much for that plan. "Hai. Coming."

His words were so garbled, he could barely understand himself. But Tsunade didn't seem to mind. She helped him up, and pulled one of his arms around her shoulders to support him. Then they started toward the forest, Kakashi barely able to stay upright. As it was, he staggered with every step, leaning heavily on Tsunade.

"I'm—I'm sorry, I..." Kakashi blinked, struggling to focus. He was trying to apologize, wasn't he? A tremor ran through his limbs. But for what? There was so much—so much—he was sorry for. "I have failed everyone I've ever cared about. You shouldn't—shouldn't have chosen me for this mission, Hokage-sama. I am afraid... I will fail you too." He closed his eyes, as if he could block the memories assaulting him.

Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei, Kushina. All gone, because of him.

Tsunade's grip on his wrist tightened, causing Kakashi to look at her. Her expression was fierce. "I don't care about what happened in your past, Kakashi." Her gaze softened. "We have all made mistakes. What matters is how we choose to live now. I believe in you, and I know you are a good man."

Kakashi's heart thudded as he stared into Tsunade's honey eyes. Maybe he wasn't as drunk as he'd thought. She didn't care about his past. All his life, ever since his father had left him, he had wanted—longed—for someone to say those words. He tried to swallow, but his throat was too tight. Was it possible, then, that she truly saw him as the person he'd worked so hard to be? Not as the boy with the disgraced father, the friend killer, the Anbu who'd failed Konoha and his mission?

They reached the camp, and Tsunade let go of his arm. But instead of walking to her bedroll, she turned and pointed a red nail-tipped finger at him. "Don't be afraid to have precious people again. No one should be alone."

How did she...? Then Kakashi remembered Tsunade standing in the doorway to Sasuke's room. She must have overheard more of the conversation than he'd thought. He bowed his head, hardly able to process his thoughts. "Thank you for your words, Tsunade-sama. I will take them to heart."

"I should hope so. I am your hokage, after all." Tsunade's eyes glinted, and she turned away. "Goodnight, Kakashi-san."

"Goodnight." Kakashi closed his eye. What was he doing? Clearly, the sake had let down his guard. He'd never said such things to anyone. And he had no intention of doing so again.

Still, a part of him couldn't help thinking about Tsunade's words, over and over. And wondering...


	5. Dreams

Tsunade settled cross-legged on her mat in front the fire. She groaned and stretched her back, wistfully thinking of a bed in a hotel room. But no, she'd be sleeping on her thin bedroll as she had been the past two nights since they'd left Konoha.

"All done, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto sprang across the fire, and landed next to her. "Kakashi-sensei let me put up the security perimeter. You can sleep easily tonight. No one will get through my defenses!"

Tsunade smirked. What kind of bizarre traps had Naruto set up? Likely, he had so many that he'd forget one in the morning, and they'd all be blown to pieces. "No one, hmm? Are you sure about that?"

"Positive, Tsunade-baachan! You'll see. I can protect this camp as well as I will protect Konoha when I become Hokage!"

"Hai, I believe you." Tsunade's smirk twitched into a fond smile. When she'd revealed she wasn't Shizune the morning after Kakashi had discovered her identity, Naruto had almost seemed... pleased, once he'd overcome his shock and confusion. Quickly masked by indifference, of course.

In spite of his calling her baachan—which she hardly noticed any more, if she were being completely honest—she enjoyed Naruto's company. Or at least, found him amusing. His openness and fearlessness was refreshing. It was almost as if he saw her as... more than just the Godaime Hokage.

Unlike a certain masked shinobi, whose careful guardedness was more than frustrating.

She'd hoped that letting Kakashi into her past with Nawaki and Dan would help him let go a bit. Thanks to an unwitting Naruto, she now knew how freeing it was, no matter how painful. At first, she'd thought Kakashi had softened when he'd admitted his fear of failure to her, but she had been wrong. If anything, the copy ninja had become more closed-off. Perhaps he'd regretted opening up to her, even though she'd made it clear she didn't judge him or his past. If anyone could understand such things, she could. But if he didn't want to talk, she couldn't make him.

Tsunade dismissed thoughts of Kakashi, and poked a stick into the flickering embers. She hadn't had a conversation with Naruto since she'd returned to Konoha with him and Jiraiya, and she'd surprisingly missed them. It was almost like talking with Nawaki again. "Is becoming hokage your only dream, Naruto?"

As she asked the question, Kakashi dropped into camp, back from his scouting. He met her glance, and gave a nod. All clear, then. Kakashi settled comfortably against a large root, and pulled out his _Icha Icha_ Paradise.

Tsunade snorted. Had Jiraiya corrupted the entire male population? Maybe she didn't want to get to know Kakashi more. He certainly wasn't making easy. Her chest twinged at the memory of his file, and she mentally scolded herself. _No_. She was the hokage, and it was her duty to get to know and look after her shinobi.

Especially if she was on an important mission with one.

Naruto scratched his head, frowning. "Besides becoming hokage?" He brightened, as if remembering the answer on a test. "No, Tsunade-baachan! Nothing matters besides becoming hokage! Believe it!"

Tsunade had to smile. "I know hokage is most important. But what about having a family? Or any places you'd like to see?"

Naruto's face scrunched. "I... hai, I'd like a family, Tsunade-baachan." His eyes darkened, and he stared at a patch of grass in front of him.

Tsunade set her hand on Naruto's knee. "You will have a family someday. Believe it." But as she said it, she wondered if he'd been talking about a future family, as she'd meant, or the mother and father he'd never known.

Kakashi hadn't turned a page in his book since he'd sat down, and Tsunade smirked, more than a little vindictive he'd found her conversation with Naruto more interesting than Jiraiya's perverted books.

"Thanks, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto dug in his pack and brought out a protein bar, likely his last one. "Now it's your turn."

Tsunade blinked, refocusing on Naruto. "Hmm?"

"You, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto took a large bite of his bar. "Do you have any dreams?"

Her dreams? No one had asked her that since—since... Tsunade swallowed, unable to answer. Her wish had always been to help her loved ones achieve their dreams. First Nawaki, then Dan.

She didn't have anyone now. _No_. Tsunade's gaze shifted to her necklace resting around Naruto's neck. She had one. And by all the Leaf, she would do whatever it took to help Naruto fulfill his dream of hokage. "My dream is to protect Konoha and everyone in it. That's the duty of a hokage."

Naruto nodded solemnly. "Then maybe you should give up drinking, Tsunade-baachan. It isn't good behavior for a hokage. It addles the mind and—"

" _Baka_!" Tsunade gave him a well-deserved smack upside the head. "Once you have as much paperwork as I do, brat, trying getting by without sake. Besides, it has no effect on my duties as hokage."

"Ow." Naruto scowled, rubbing the back of his head.

Kakashi's eye crinkled in what she assumed was amusement, though he still didn't look up from his book. Did he think he was going to get out of this? "What about you, Kakashi-san?" The copy ninja stiffened at Tsunade's saccharine-sweet voice. "I would like to hear your dream. Surely you have one."

"Maa, well..." Kakashi shifted and ran a gloved hand through his silver hair. Then he shrugged. "To protect Konoha, of course. That's the duty of a jōnin."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. Either he was parroting her own answer to prove he hadn't missed her deflection, or he was using it as an excuse not to answer. "I see. That is a worthy goal for anyone."

Kakashi met her gaze with his steel-gray one, clearly catching her full meaning. "Hai. I thought so too, Hokage-sama."

Annoyance flashed over Tsunade, though she wasn't sure why. She pushed to her feet. "Naruto, on your feet. You've been slacking too much. It's time for a training session."

Naruto squinted up at her, still rubbing his head. "Eh, training?! But we've been walking all day! My feet hurt."

"Mmm, is that so?" Tsunade only had to lift her index finger, and Naruto scrambled up.

"Hai! It's a great time for training, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto stood at attention, but his blue gaze remained warily on her pointer finger and thumb. "What are you going to teach me?"

Tsunade brushed off her sleeveless kimono. "You said no one could infiltrate this camp. However, it's always best to be prepared for the worst." She smiled, rather smugly. "So, you are going to protect your camp from me."

Naruto gaped at her. "You, Tsunade-baachan?!"

"Hai. Why?" Tsunade cracked her knuckles for good measure. "Having doubts?"

Naruto flushed, and straightened, hands planted on his hips. "Never! I'll defend this camp to my last breath! Believe it!"

Tsunade smiled. If she were honest, she needed this training exercise as much as Naruto. Perhaps more. Her fight with Orochimaru and Kabuto a little over a month and a half ago had been her first in nearly twenty-five years. She was out of fighting shape, and that wasn't acceptable for a hokage.

Kakashi stood, his _Icha Icha_ book nowhere to be seen. He bowed slightly, the picture of innocence. "If it's all the same to you, I would like to join in your training session, Tsunade... sensei."

* * *

Kakashi sighed, and cast a glance at his open pack, the exposed orange corner of his _Icha Icha_ Paradise mocking him.

When he'd asked if he could join Tsunade's training lesson, this wasn't what he'd had in mind. But he should have suspected something when she'd agreed with a gleam in her golden-brown eyes. Then, she'd declared it would be better practice for Naruto if he had an injured teammate to protect.

Finally, Kakashi's brain had clicked into gear, and he'd answered casually, "But I don't see anyone injured around here."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. The corner of Tsunade's pink lips curved upward, and before he knew it, she'd placed her hand on his shoulder. "Really?" Her red nail dug into a pressure point, and Kakashi gritted his teeth, barely keeping his knees from buckling. "You look injured to me. And it isn't wise to go against the word of a medical-nin."

Kakashi didn't dare pull away. He'd managed to keep his hands in his pockets, but they were fisted so tightly his fingers were growing numb. The seconds dragged on, but Kakashi refused to sway. He was a jōnin of Konoha, and he could handle a little pain. What would Tsunade think if he bent under a mere pressure point?

But he'd forgotten Tsunade's strength. She raised a blonde eyebrow at his refusal to move, and her fingers slowly tightened until he was certain his shoulder would snap in half.

It was then that he decided bowing out to his hokage was the right thing to do. After all, Tsunade was his superior, in more ways than one. Kakashi dipped his head, ignoring the twinge of shame for showing weakness, especially in front of her. "Hai, you're right, Tsunade-sama. I do feel a bit under the weather."

Tsunade released him, an odd furrow marring her brow below the violet diamond of her Strength of a Hundred seal. But instead of gloating, she only said, "There's no fault in admitting weakness."

They both knew she wasn't referring to pressure points. Kakashi's stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch, and he turned away before she caught his eye twitching. He flopped on the leaf-strewn ground with a grunt, and pulled out his _Icha Icha_ Paradise. "Well, guess I'll just have to wait to be rescu—"

_Icha Icha_ was snatched out of his hands, and Kakashi stared as Tsunade tossed the book over her shoulder. It landed neatly in his open pack. She smirked. "I'm afraid the wounded didn't bring any distractions on this mission."

With that, Tsunade gestured to Naruto, and Kakashi could only watch as they walked out of camp, leaving him sprawled on the ground.

That had been ten minutes ago. Kakashi sighed again, and placed his hands behind his head, studying the clouds drifting over the moon. He hadn't moved from his spot or attempted to retrieve his _Icha Icha_ Paradise, though he wasn't sure if it from fear of Tsunade's retribution, or something else.

The bushes rustled behind him. _Finally._ Kakashi closed his eye for good measure. Let Tsunade see that her training session had been so boring he'd fallen asleep. Wait... the back of his neck prickled. The presence he sensed wasn't Tsunade or Naruto.

Kakashi rolled to his feet and dove to the side, kunai in hand. Pain flashed across his right upper arm, and a kunai impaled the tree behind him. Kakashi cursed. How had he let himself get so lax? There was never— _never_ —a time to let down his guard. He sank into a crouch, scanning the trees and shrubbery encircling the camp. A shadow flickered on the left, but he kept his gaze roaming. Never let the enemy know they've been spotted. Besides, there was a good chance it was a decoy.

Kakashi's chest tightened. But where were Tsunade and Naruto? Had they been ambushed too?

"Well, well. Seems I get to face off with the famous Kakashi Hatake." A tall man stepped out of the shadows opposite Kakashi, his broad, blank face almost puppet-like. "But I didn't think the copy ninja would fall for a trick as simple as that."

A heavy dampness closed around Kakashi's ankles, and he dropped his gaze, silently cursing again. He was sinking in a wide pool of quicksand, now almost to his knees. How had he gotten so distracted?

"Maa, you talk too much." Kakashi flung two kunai in quick succession, but the movement only made him sink quicker.

The tall rogue-nin dodged the first kunai, but Kakashi's second kunai—aimed in anticipation of his movement—caught the ninja's shoulder. The rogue-nin plucked the kunai out and dropped in on the ground, seemingly unaffected.

Kakashi narrowed his eye. No signs of blood. Did he have some sort of armor?

"Pathetic. I expected better from Konoha's copy ninja." The rogue-nin's fingers flashed a few signs. "Earth release!"

Twin walls of stone shot up around Kakashi, clearly intended to flatten him. He finished wrapping the end of the wire through the circle pommel of a kunai, and flung it. The rogue-nin swayed out of the way, and it embedded the tree behind him.

Kakashi yanked on his end of the wire, launching himself out of the quicksand and over the stone walls. Pain stabbed through his injured arm and his right hand slipped. He landed on the other side of the clearing and glanced at his blood-slicked hand. Hmm, the cut must be worse than he'd thought.

"Watch out, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto and two shadow clones jumped out of the trees, simultaneously hurling three kunai at the rogue-nin.

_Good timing, Naruto_. But where was Tsunade? Kakashi pushed the thought aside as he ran toward Naruto—now minus two shadow clones—and the rogue-nin. He'd deal with this problem first, then he would find his hokage.

The rogue-nin caught Naruto with a kick, knocking him to the ground. Kakashi threw two more kunai for the rogue-nin to deflect, giving him just enough of a distraction to leap over the rogue-nin's head. He flipped in midair, neatly tapping a paper bomb on each of the rogue-nin's shoulder blades, then landed behind him in a crouch.

"Wha—" The rogue-nin started to turn, but not fast enough. Twin explosions shook the clearing, momentarily blinding Kakashi.

Kakashi gripped a kunai, gaze fixed on the kneeling figure as the smoke cleared. The rogue-nin groaned and shook his head slightly. Cracks covered his body, confirming Kakashi's suspicion of body armor. But the paper bombs only cracked it? He'd need something stronger to break through, then. One of Tsunade's punches would come in handy right now. Ah, well. He'd just have to make do. Kakashi lowered his hand, focusing his chakra for Chidori.

"Rasengan!" Naruto launched himself forward, thrusting out a swirling sphere of chakra. Kakashi smiled. It seemed Naruto had beaten him to it.

The blow blasted the rogue-nin back into a large boulder. He slumped, motionless, stone armor disintegrating around him. Kakashi straightened, and frowned. The rogue-nin's revealed face was young and narrow, framed by long strands of dark brown hair. Sadai. A mercenary ninja. Which meant someone had hired him to attack them. The thought was more than troubling.

But he had more pressing matters to attend to. "Naruto, where is Tsunade-sama?"

Naruto's head jerked away from his fallen opponent. "Eh? Oh, we were attacked by two other ninja in the forest. Tsunade-baachan guessed it was an ambush, so she ordered me to go help you." He grinned. "Good thing I did, ay, Kakashi-sensei?"

Two more? What if Tsunade needed help? Kakashi snatched up two kunai. "Naruto, watch him. I'm going to find Tsunade-sama."

"That won't be necessary."

Kakashi spun. Tsunade herself strode out of the forest, dragging two unconscious ninja behind her. She raised an eyebrow. "Only one more, eh?" She tossed the two ninja next to Sadai. "Any idea where they are from?"

Why had he thought the hokage would need help with two mere mercenary ninja? Kakashi cleared his throat. "I recognize this man. He is Sadai, a mercenary-nin."

Tsunade met his gaze, his earlier frown mirrored on her face. Then her eyes zeroed in on his bleeding arm. "You're wounded."

"Maa, it's nothing. I... made a mistake." Kakashi scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. He hadn't felt this close to embarrassment since... he couldn't remember when. Was he destined to look incompetent in front of Tsunade?

"Nothing, hmm?" Tsunade glanced pointedly at the blood still dripping from his fingers. She gestured to a smaller boulder. " _Sit_."

Kakashi felt altogether too much like one of his dogs as he sat. Tsunade moved in close, fingertip glowing. She deftly sliced off his right sleeve at the shoulder, ignoring his unhappy grunt. At least he'd brought a spare uniform.

"Are you all right, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi tore his gaze from Tsunade as Naruto approached, looking rather worried. "Ah, hai, Naruto-kun. Tsunade-sama will have me fixed up in no time. How about you tie up those guys?"

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto grinned and saluted. If only Kakashi could dismiss his own worries so easily.

He turned his attention back to Tsunade. Her hand, tipped with red nails, hovered over his wound, glowing faintly. Already, it had begun to seal. He still remembered the first time she'd healed him, the warmth of her hand covering his, shaking at the effort to overcome her pain to heal him.

Tsunade glanced up in focused, medical-nin mode. "I am sealing the wound, but it will take a few days to heal completely. Don't strain it."

Kakashi didn't miss the underlying threat. But he only nodded, his thoughts still lingering in the past. Tsunade's eyes didn't leave his, and he wondered if she was remembering the same moment. Almost as if her gaze pulled the words out of him, Kakashi heard himself murmur, "I kept my promise."

Tsunade's golden-brown eyes widened. Kakashi shifted his gaze to the trampled leaves under his sandals. "I never told anyone I saw you in the forest that day, when you saved me."

Tsunade silently wiped the dried blood from his arm and hand, then wrapped the gash with a clean roll of linen.

_I came back for you, Tsunade-sama._

But those were words he would never speak aloud. In fact, he wasn't sure why he'd even said as much as he had. Normally, he wouldn't have even cared about such a thing. The past was the past, and there was no point in dwelling on it. So why did he feel so tense waiting for Tsunade's answer?

Tsunade straightened and wound up the remaining linen. "Ah, I can't believe you remember that day. It was so long ago. I hardly remember it myself." She turned away, avoiding his gaze. "We'd better figure out what to do with these mercenary-nin before the night gets any longer. I need my sleep."

Kakashi stood. The night breeze chilled his damp, bare arm. He closed off his mind to everything but the mission, as he should have done in the beginning. "Hai, Hokage-sama. If we hurry, I might have time to read before bed."

Tsunade's shoulders stiffened, but she didn't reply. Nor did he expect her to.


	6. Lost and Found

"It seems this is the last town before we head up into the mountains," Kakashi observed.

Well, that settled it. Tsunade picked up her pace, energy returning at the thought of a soak in hot springs. "We deserve a break after all that traveling. Let's spend the night here and enter the mountains tomorrow."

"But Tsunade-baachan! Don't we need to get to the mountain village as soon as possible?" Naruto objected. "We shouldn't rest until after the mission is finished, believe it!"

Tsunade huffed. Leave it to Naruto to argue. "Staying here won't delay the mission. Besides, we'll be able to travel much faster after we all take a good soak in the hot springs... and eat some ramen."

Naruto squinted suspiciously, but as she'd hoped, the offer of ramen must have been too tempting to continue his objections. "Well... I guess it wouldn't hurt."

Kakashi dropped his pack on the side of the path. "Maa, we'd better change into our civilian disguises, then. Don't want word to get around that Konoha shinobi are here." His eye flickered to Tsunade. "We'll need a cover story, too."

Did he expect her to come up with one on the spot? Tsunade let her pack fall, and stretched her back with a groan. "I'll go along with what you come up with, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi's eye narrowed, but he only nodded. "Hai." He grabbed his pack, and headed deeper into the forest. "I'll return shortly."

Tsunade slipped off her green haori, and tugged out a longer red haori she'd packed for such an occasion. She could change her appearance to look like someone else entirely, but oddly, she didn't want to. Besides, this was a remote village. Likely, none of them even knew she was the Godaime Hokage yet. So, she only wound her hair up in a bun, and stabbed a hair stick through it, though she left her long bangs free. Tsunade smiled, satisfied. It should be enough to throw off those who might recognize her. She cast an annoyed glance at the forest. What was taking Kakashi so long? The hot springs, and a nice, soft bed, were waiting for her. Honestly, sometimes that man was so...

" _I kept my promise."_ Kakashi's low voice from last night rumbled in her ear. Not his usual bored tone, but... intentional.

Tsunade frowned at her open pack. It had almost seemed as if he wanted something from her, though she'd been at a loss as to what. Not a thank you, that wasn't Kakashi. And honestly, it was impossible to discern anything with his ridiculous mask on. She hadn't known how to react, much less what to say. Truth be told, she still didn't.

"Uh, Tsunade-baachan?"

Tsunade turned to Naruto, who was staring at the open bag at his feet, packed with the same garish orange he was wearing. He scratched the back of his neck. "I, well, uh... what do I wear for a disguise?"

Tsunade coughed. That orange was its own disguise. "What you're wearing is good enough. Just take off your headband."

"Ah, hai, hai." Naruto carefully removed his Leaf headband and tucked it in his pack.

The crack of a snapping stick came from the forest behind them. A moment later, Kakashi strolled out, wearing a plain, pale blue shirt and dark pants and sandals. A gray scarf wrapped around his neck and mouth up to his nose. A black eyepatch covered his Sharingan.

"Expecting an early winter?" Tsunade asked dryly.

Kakashi's eye crinkled. "Maa, well, it can't hurt to be prepared, can it?"

Tsunade crossed her arms. Was he really going to insist on this? "It's eighty degrees. Don't you think that's a little suspicious?"

Kakashi nonchalantly lifted a shoulder, and stepped closer. His gray eye gave her a quick once-over. At least he knew not to let his gaze linger. "You look nice, my _tsuma_."

Tsunade's stomach dropped. "What—what did you say?"

Kakashi's scarf shifted slightly, and she knew he was smiling. She cursed herself for her reaction. "You said you'd go along with my cover story, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi offered his elbow. "I think a small family taking a trip isn't suspicious in the least, wouldn't you say?"

"Eh, what?!" Naruto burst out, spiky head swiveling between them. "Tsunade-baachan can't be your wife, Kakashi-sensei! She's too old!"

Something sharp stung the back of her throat, and Tsunade clenched her teeth. Why was she reacting like this? Yes, she was fifty-one, but her age had never bothered her before. Naruto's bluntness annoyed her, that was all. Kakashi had stiffened next to her, but she focused on Naruto, and snapped, "Watch your words, gaki. I'm still your hokage." Naruto shrank back, eyes wide, and she took a calming breath. "Besides, I don't look my age, and that's what matters for this cover. Anything _else_ you want to say?"

Naruto blinked rapidly, probably shocked she hadn't smacked him. "N—no, Tsunade-baachan."

"Then let's go." Tsunade grabbed Kakashi's arm, probably a little too tightly.

Kakashi grunted, and started for the town's gate. Naruto snatched his pack, and started after them, blessedly quiet for once. Tsunade doubted it would last long, so she set her mind on the hot springs awaiting her. But Kakashi still hadn't said a word, and it was making her uncomfortable. Likely, he agreed with Naruto, but had wisely chosen to say nothing. Tsunade eyed him, needing to break the silence. "So. What's the story for your scarf and patch?"

"Hmm." Kakashi tilted his head toward her. "I think since I am so astonishingly good-looking, my wife doesn't want anyone else to see me. So, I keep my face covered... except when we are alone."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Is that so? And here I thought that your wife wanted your face covered because you are so astonishingly ugly."

Kakashi actually chuckled. "Maa, I deserved that, didn't I?"

Tsunade didn't dignify him with an answer. They neared the gate, and Kakashi leaned in closer, clearing his throat. "Ah, and which are we going with?"

Tsunade smiled sweetly. "Mine, of course."

Kakashi's eye narrowed, but they'd reached the gatekeeper, leaving him unable to object. The gatekeeper stepped forward, smiling blandly. "May I ask for your names and reason for visiting, please?"

Kakashi shifted. "I am Sakumo Katsuki, and this is my wife... Shizune. And our son, Naruto. We are just staying for a couple of days before moving on to visit my wife's family."

"A family trip, eh?" The gatekeeper glanced at Naruto, then Tsunade. His eyes widened before he caught himself. "I—I see."

Tsunade barely restrained herself from glaring. She was a doting wife, after all. Without thinking, she freed her hand from Kakashi's elbow, and slid her arm around his waist. His muscles went rigid under her touch, but after a moment, he gingerly wrapped his own arm around her shoulders. She forced a smile at the gatekeeper. "I've been wanting this trip for a long time. Wasn't it so nice of my husband to take us?"

Naruto gaped at them, eyes bulging. The gatekeeper stepped back, rubbing his shiny head. "H—hai. Have a nice day."

"Thank you." Tsunade said through her pasted smile. "Come, husband, Naruto-kun."

But Kakashi didn't move, so Tsunade shoved her shoulder into his ribcage. He flinched, then started walking stiffly into the town, arm still around Tsunade.

As soon as they were out of the gatekeeper's sight, Tsunade extracted her arm from around Kakashi, and he dropped his from her shoulder, leaving behind a rush of coldness. Tsunade brushed off her red haori to give her hands something to do. What was wrong with her? Granted, it had been a long— _very_ long—time since she'd been hugged by anyone. Based on Kakashi's reaction, she guessed it had been almost as long for him.

Tsunade lifted her chin. No point in dwelling on it. "Well, now that we're finally here, I'm going to go find the hot springs." Then some much-needed sake.

Kakashi ran a hand through his silver hair. "Ah, I'll see if I can gather any information. Naruto, you can go with Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade glanced back. Naruto stared at the people milling around the market, giving no sign he'd heard Kakashi. Now that she observed the town, the atmosphere did seem more festive than usual. She turned back to Kakashi, but he had vanished. She huffed. "Come, Naruto. Let's find the hot springs."

Tsunade marched into the crowd, leaving Naruto to follow of his own accord. She quickened her pace to avoid a young boy buying flowers for an older woman she assumed was his mother. Two other children raced across the street in front of her, dragging their mother by the hands, clamoring about a picnic and feeding the ducks at some lake.

Tsunade slowed to watch them go, startled by an unfamiliar pang. What would that have been like? To have a child, to share in the joys of life with them, and watch them grow? A couple holding hands walked past her, a child perched on the father's shoulders, giggling. "Faster, Papa!"

_Dan. That could have been us._

Tsunade shook herself. What had brought on these thoughts? She'd walked among families many times, and it hadn't bothered her. Much. She needed to focus. A soak in the hot springs and a bottle of sake would fix her up. And where was Naruto? Tsunade turned, annoyed to find he wasn't behind her. She scanned the crowd, finally spotting him next to a vendor several yards back. Food already?

"Naruto!" Tsunade stomped back toward him, steam building. But before she shouted at him again, she realized he wasn't buying food. He just stood there, watching the families around him, a lost expression on his usually energetic face. Ah. So, he, too, was missing the family he didn't have. Tsunade stopped in front of him. "Naruto. Time to go."

Naruto jumped, and looked up at her, cheeks reddening. "Oh, um. Tsunade-baachan, what if we... do you think we could... go feed the ducks or—or something before you go to the hot springs? It won't take very long."

Feed the ducks? What was he going on about? Tsunade frowned. Didn't he realize that no matter how much he watched others, it wouldn't give him what he didn't have? She'd better cut this off before he got too hurt. "What's this about ducks? I have been looking forward to these hot springs for the past three days, so let's go." Naruto's face fell, and she softened. "Maybe later, eh? Come relax. That will get your mind off things."

Naruto didn't answer, but he followed her along the busy street. At last, they reached the hot springs. Steam rose beyond the wall, and Tsunade could practically feel the warmth soaking into her bones and soothing aching muscles. _At last._ Tsunade started up the steps, but Naruto plopped on the bottom one, planting his chin in his hands. She glared down at him. "What are you doing?"

Naruto grunted, staring determinedly out at the street. "Eh, I don't feel like bathing. I'll wait here until you're done."

It would be foolish to leave such a troublemaker out on the street alone, especially with whatever was bothering him. But the hot springs were so tantalizingly close, Tsunade couldn't stand it anymore. Surely, Naruto would be fine by himself just this once. So, she lifted her chin, and strode up the remaining steps. "Fine."

Tsunade traded her clothes for a towel, and walked into the women's section, breathing in the steam. Just as she slid into the hot, soothing water, closing her eyes blissfully, the voices of two women leaving the springs reached her.

"Wasn't so thoughtful of our children to gift us a trip to the hot springs?"

"Oh, yes," the other sighed happily. "They just keep getting better at gifts for Mother's Day. You know, my son shooed me out of the house early, so he could start making dinner. He said it's going to be something special."

Tsunade's eyes flew open. _Mother's Day?_ A sickening feeling crept through her stomach. So that was why all the families were out and about, having picnics and feeding ducks. And why Naruto had been acting so strange. He'd obviously known what day it was.

His hopeful blue eyes seared her memory. _'Tsunade-baachan... do you think we could... go feed the ducks?'_

Naruto had wanted to do something for Mother's Day... with her. _With her_. And she had rejected him, because she was so selfish she couldn't see past the end of her own nose.

Tsunade tore out of the springs, and stopped at the top of the entrance steps, pulling on her red haori. _Please let him still be_ —there. Naruto hadn't moved from the bottom step, his shoulders slumped. Cautiously, Tsunade walked down the steps. She was a poor replacement for any sort of mother, but she would make it up to him and do her best. She stopped next to Naruto, and waited for him to look up. "Hai."

Naruto jerked, and stared up at her. "Tsunade-baachan?!"

"Ah, I decided I don't feel like soaking the hot springs today." Tsunade tapped her chin, as if a thought had just occurred to her. "What do you say we go feed the ducks? Then maybe... get some ramen?"

Naruto shot to his feet, beaming. "Hai, believe it!" Then he shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean, I guess that'd be all right, Tsunade-baachan."

Tsunade smiled, heart warming more than any hot springs. "Then what are we waiting for, hmm?"

Naruto grinned, and grabbed her hand, sending a lurch up into her throat. He tugged Tsunade after him. "Hurry, let's go!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though it's not really dwelt on in the anime/manga, I've always liked the idea of a mother/son sort of relationship between Tsunade and Naruto, so that's where the inspiration for this chapter came from.


	7. Realization

Kakashi rested his folded arms on a red wooden railing, atop a building overlooking the town's square. He absently rubbed his bicep, still aching from Tsunade's death grip when they'd entered the village, as he watched Tsunade and Naruto walk among the vendors.

Naruto dragged Tsunade over to a throwing-dart booth. She crossed her arms, but Naruto pulled out Gama-chan, and handed the vendor a few coins. Naruto threw his dart first, but Tsunade flicked two after his; one to knock down Naruto's, and the other pinned the target in the center. Naruto shouted indignantly, but Tsunade only laughed and ruffled his hair. Then she handed him the last dart, smiling when he hit the bull's eye.

Though the two didn't know it, Kakashi had been watching them for the past hour, ever since Tsunade had given up her coveted bath to join Naruto. He studied the Godaime Hokage, unaware of the slight smile under his scarf. Ay, there was more to the hot-tempered Tsunade than her medical and battle prowess, and addiction to gambling and sake. It seemed even his iron-willed hokage had a soft side.

Kakashi glanced down ruefully at his bruising arm. Yet all he got was pain. But he should be thankful. When Tsunade had wrapped her arm around him, all he could think about was how good her hair smelled... and how good it felt to have her pressed close to him. It had taken all of his willpower to keep a slight, respectful distance between them.

Which was why he was now above, observing. He hadn't been running away, that was something Kakashi Hatake didn't do. He'd just needed time to think. And get away from the smell of Tsunade's hair.

Sharp pain flashed through his ankle. "Kakashi!"

"Eh?" Kakashi blinked, finally focusing down on Pakkun, one of his ninken. Four beads of blood dotted Kakashi's ankle. Pakkun bit him? "Ah, you're finally back. But what's this?"

Pakkun sniffed. "Hai, I'm back. And I've been calling your name for the last minute. What's gotten into you?"

Kakashi rubbed his neck. "Nothing much. Just tired, I suppose. My apologizes." He studied the brown pug, but saw nothing amiss. "What is your report? Any sign we were followed or tracked?"

"None. It looks like you're in the clear."

Kakashi shifted back on his heels. Surprising, and unsettling. If someone had gone so far as to send Sadai after them, it didn't sit well that they had given up so easily. "I see. Thanks for your help, Pakkun."

Pakkun placed his paw on Kakashi's knee, gazing up seriously. "Kakashi... I haven't seen you like this for a long time. Get some rest."

Kakashi patted Pakkun's head. "Maa, thanks for the advice, old man. You're dismissed."

Pakkun sent Kakashi one last disapproving look, and vanished. Kakashi stood, stretching in the red rays of the sunset. He should probably go meet up with Tsunade and Naruto at the hotel, but he wasn't quite ready. He'd do one last perimeter around the town, just for precaution's sake. Besides, it would give his thoughts a little more time to settle. They were getting closer to their mission's destination, and he would need all of his senses alert.

Kakashi leaped over the railing, and disappeared into the shadows.

Two hours later, a hot and sweaty Kakashi trudged through the dark streets. Pakkun had been right; there was no sign anyone had followed them here. But that wasn't the biggest of his problems. How had he forgotten to set a designated meeting place with Tsunade and Naruto? At least the town wasn't large; it wouldn't take him more than an hour to check all of the hotels. An hour of sleep he wouldn't get back.

Kakashi loosened his scarf, irritated at himself. He'd never been so out of step on a mission before. At least, not since he'd been a genin. He needed to figure out why, and quickly.

The full moon shone overhead, casting everything in a silver light. Strangely, it reminded him of the first night of the mission, when he'd discovered Tsunade, instead of Shizune, at the river bank. A glint of silver-blonde caught his eye. Speaking of... Tsunade stood out on the balcony of a hotel two buildings down, leaning on the railing as she gazed up at the sky. Kakashi smiled. Was it too much to hope his hokage was worried about him?

He walked closer, but Tsunade didn't bother to look at him until he'd stopped directly below her. She rested her forearms on the rail, and stared down, expressionless. "Get lost?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Nah... I just stopped to smell the flowers."

Tsunade scowled and straightened. "Well, it's about time. I was just considering going to look for you."

"No need." Kakashi sprang up on the balcony, but he misjudged his jump and landed inches from Tsunade. He backpedaled, and managed to casually rest an arm on the rail. "I was scouting the perimeter of the village."

Tsunade nodded, her scowl smoothing. "Find anything?"

"Nothing. I don't like it, but there's not much more we can do right now." Kakashi slid his hands in his pockets, and glanced through the open door. Naruto was sprawled on a mat, snoring loudly. "It seems you wore him out."

Tsunade snorted. " _He_ wore _me_ out." She added sarcastically, "Thanks for helping out."

"Mm." Kakashi kept his gaze on Naruto, but lowered his voice. "I wanted to say... thanks for spending your time with him today. That kind of thing... means a lot to those of us without mothers."

Tsunade stared at him, but he didn't turn his gaze on her until she looked at Naruto and scoffed, "Yes, well, I only did it because he kept bothering me. That hardly deserves praise."

Kakashi tilted his head. She could deny all she wanted, but the tenderness in her face when she looked at Naruto told a different story. "There's no fault in admitting weakness, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade turned, honey eyes startled. Kakashi stepped closer. "Besides, you gave up your trip to the hot springs, didn't you?" He held out his elbow again. "I would like to rectify that, if you will allow me."

Tsunade gaped at his elbow, then him. "Right now? But they closed a long time ag—"

"I think I can find us a way in. And I could use a soak myself." Kakashi waited for one breath... two...

Tsunade's hand slipped around his bruised bicep, but for some reason it didn't hurt. "Very well." She smiled; soft lips luminous in the moonlight. "I'll let you have your way this time, Kakashi Hatake."

Kakashi mock-bowed. "Well, it _is_ the duty of a jōnin to serve the hokage."

Kakashi grinned when she elbowed his side, and grinned even more at the gentleness of it. When he leaped over the railing, Tsunade was right with him. But he took his time strolling through the streets, and Tsunade didn't object. "A nice night for a walk, isn't it?"

Tsunade only hummed in agreement, so Kakashi tried again. "Is this truly your first mission since...?"

"Since I asked the Third Hokage to remove me from missions?" Tsunade sighed. "Yes."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. She'd asked the Third to remove her from missions? Back when he'd only heard of Tsunade by name, he'd known she didn't go on missions anymore, but had assumed it was because of her elite medical-nin status.

Tsunade must have noticed his expression, because she folded her arms and continued, "Not many shinobi know this, but after I lost Nawaki and Dan, I developed a fear of blood. Hemophobia. I attempted going on missions after that, but I was nothing more than a hindrance. I tried to overcome it, but..." She shrugged. "You saw what I was like. After I nearly failed you, I knew I couldn't stay in the village any longer."

So, she _did_ remember that day. More than she'd let on. Kakashi firmly countered, "You didn't fail me, Tsunade-sama. You healed me."

"Only because you touched me. I don't know if I would have had the strength if you hadn't." Tsunade lowered her head. "I finally realized that I was no help to the village as I was. That was when I took Shizune as my apprentice and left."

Obviously, she had overcome her past enough to return as hokage. But still... he would tread carefully. "And your hemophobia?"

"Thanks to Naruto and the village's request for my place as hokage, I overcame it." Tsunade finally glanced up at him. "But it wasn't only my hemophobia holding me back. It was the loss of my dreams... the loss of my loved ones and their dreams."

Ah. So that was why she'd avoided talking about her dreams. Kakashi nodded. "I see. I appreciate you telling me."

Tsunade didn't answer for a long moment. Kakashi glanced down at her, and blinked. Were her cheeks... tinged pink? Tsunade cleared her throat. "Yes, well. It's in the past." Suddenly, she surged ahead. "Ah, here at last!"

Kakashi lifted his gaze to the hot springs, surprised at his twinge of disappointment. He caught up to Tsunade at the top of the steps. "I'll be waiting for you here when you're done."

"Hai." Tsunade's eyes gleamed. "But I would take an extra-long bath, if I were you. I intend to enjoy this."

"Noted." With that, Kakashi picked the lock with practiced ease, though he winced when the hinges creaked. He followed Tsunade in, and left a few coins on the counter before entering the men's side. He might break in, but that didn't mean he wouldn't pay to use their faculties.

True to her word, Tsunade didn't appear out of the springs until a good thirty minutes after Kakashi exited his. And in his opinion, he'd taken a _very_ long soak. Still, he felt more refreshed than he had in a long time, and Tsunade's glowing face when she finally reappeared made it worth it. They walked back to the hotel in silence, and Kakashi found himself sneaking glances at Tsunade's blonde hair, flowing loose over her shoulders and back. Really, it was unfair for someone to be so beautiful. _Stop_. He immediately reined in the thought as they reached the hotel. Tsunade jumped up to the balcony first, and Kakashi followed closely.

"You know," Tsunade observed, smirking, "if I didn't know better, I'd say you were just trying to get on your hokage's good side."

Kakashi leaned back against the rail. "Ah, well. Did it work?"

Tsunade studied him and pulled her haori tighter around her. Her lips quirked upward. "Mmm... for now."

Kakashi swallowed, his palms suddenly sweaty. It was late, and they needed to rest for the mission tomorrow. But he wanted to keep talking. More than that, he wanted an excuse to feel her arm around him again, maybe catch the scent of her hair. No matter that it had just been a cover for their... mission. _Mission._ He blinked, as if coming out of dream. _Damn_. What had come over him? Kakashi spun to face the street instead of Tsunade, and planted his forearms on the rail. His pulse pounded in his ears. If she guessed what he'd been thinking... "Maa, well, I think I'm going to stay out here a little longer. You'd better get some sleep, Hokage-sama. I'd hate to be back on your bad side in the morning, just because you're cranky."

Tsunade's glare burned between his shoulder blades. "Cranky? Hmph. You're no better than Naruto." Her heels clipped back into the room, and the balcony door slid shut.

Kakashi's nails dug into the wood rail. Even now, he could sense Tsunade's every move in the room, preparing for bed. What was wrong with him? He was Kakashi Hatake, the shinobi who always kept his cool and acted rationally. And his behavior tonight had been anything but rational. Thank the shinobi gods Tsunade hadn't been able to read his thoughts. For all appearances, he'd been a jōnin treating his hokage to a much-needed break.

But that's all it had been. A cover for what he felt. A mask, like the one hiding his face.

Kakashi sank into a crouch behind the rail and muttered a curse. He closed his eye in resignation. _Fine_. There was no point in denying the obvious to himself any longer.

He was attracted to Tsunade.

It didn't matter that she was twenty-plus years his senior. It didn't matter than she was a legendary Sannin and medical-nin. It didn't matter that she was his hokage.

Except it did matter. All of it mattered.

Kakashi gripped a fistful of his hair. So what if he was attracted to her? So was every other man who'd seen her. It didn't matter that he told himself he was different, that he was attracted to so much more than her appearance.

She was his hokage.

Kakashi sighed, and uncurled his aching fingers. Yes, he was attracted to Tsunade. But out of respect to her and her position, he would never act on it. He would never treat her as anyone other than his hokage. Perhaps, eventually, his feelings would go away. And even if they didn't, it wouldn't change anything. He'd channel his feelings into protecting her and protecting Konoha, just as he did for Rin, Obito, and his father.

Tomorrow, they returned to the mission. And so would he.

* * *

"Tsunade-baachan, wake up!"

The insistent voice broke through Tsunade's comfortable haze of sleep. She groaned, and rolled over. It was too early to be talking. Or thinking.

"TSUNADE-BAACHAN!"

The screech nearly split her eardrums. Tsunade shot up, centimeters from colliding heads with Naruto. "NARUTO! Some of us are trying to get some sleep!" She shoved her tangled hair out of her face to give the full effect of her glare. "If you _ever_ do that again, I will string you up and let the crows have your body!"

Naruto stared at her in wide-eyed horror for a full ten seconds. "Ah—ah, sorry, Tsunade-baachan. But Kakashi-sensei said to wake you if you slept too late."

"He did, did he?" Tsunade scowled. Her gaze dropped to the steaming cup in Naruto's hand. "What is that?"

"Um..." Naruto reddened, and held the cup out sheepishly. "I got you some tea."

"Oh? Did Kakashi-san put you up to that too?" But Tsunade stood and took the cup. She inhaled the fragrant steam, muscles relaxing.

Naruto's chin jutted out, and he stared at the floor. "Nah. I got it for you so you could have something to drink other than sake."

Tsunade paused before the ceramic rim touched her lips, touched. He'd gotten it for her himself? With his precious money? Naruto shifted, bare foot scuffing the floor, so she took a sip as he watched anxiously. She smiled and patted his spiky head, then walked past him to the balcony. "It's good tea, Naruto-kun."

Naruto's chest puffed. "I only got the best, Tsunade-baachan! Believe it!"

Tsunade slid open the screen, squinting in the pale sunlight. Long shadows still stretched along the streets, and the sun barely peeked over the surrounding mountains. Her fingers tightened around the cup. _Sleeping in, indeed._ It wasn't any later than 6 am. Curse that man. "Naruto-kun, where is Kakashi?"

"Eh, I dunno. He left early, and said he'd be back later."

Irritably, Tsunade tapped her red nail on the railing. That Kakashi. And just when he'd started to grow on her, too. In spite of herself, she smiled at the memory of the silver-haired ninja offering his arm and a trip to the hot springs, as if they were teenagers sneaking out to have fun. How had he even known she hadn't made it to the springs? Something about him... when they had walked to the springs, reminded her of when Dan used to walk her home. Kakashi had the same solid presence, the same attentive and probing gaze that pulled things out her—things she wouldn't normally say.

But they weren't quite the same. Dan never would have broken into a hot spring... or called her cranky, for that matter.

Tsunade blinked, abruptly bringing herself back to the present. What was she doing, comparing Dan and Kakashi? Had she completely lost her mind? Hot liquid dripped on her bare foot, and she looked down to see tea leaking from a long crack in her cup. She hadn't realized how tightly she'd been holding it.

"Baka!" Tsunade hurled all of her frustrations with the cup. It crashed against the wall across the alley, the last few drops of tea darkening the bricks. Huffing, Tsunade glared down at the ceramic shards scattered on the street, but didn't feel much better. She needed to let out more steam. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything else she could destroy. So, Tsunade took a deep, calming breath, and strode back into the room.

Naruto glanced up curiously as he finished rolling up her bedroll. "Are you all right, Tsunade-baachan?"

Tsunade crossed her arms and glared at the door. "I will be as soon as Kakashi retur—"

The door slid open, and Kakashi strode in, wearing his jōnin uniform. His eye darted to the packed bags. "Ah, good work, Naruto."

What had happened to keeping Konoha's presence a secret? Tsunade flicked a finger at his uniform, making no attempt to hide her annoyance. "A bit conspicuous, wouldn't you say?"

Kakashi picked up his pack and straightened. "Maa, well, we came here for a mission. We've wasted too much time, and it's time we left."

Tsunade stared at him. She clenched her teeth, and focused on her rising anger instead of the sting his words brought. So, everything last night had been nothing more than a waste of time? She snatched up her pack, and stopped shoulder-to-shoulder with Kakashi. "Next time, you will inform me of your whereabouts."

Kakashi's gaze fell, but he didn't answer. Tsunade stalked past him and out the door. "Let's go. Try to keep up."


	8. The Unknown

Why did he have to go on a mission with such an infuriating woman? Kakashi sighed as he kept pace behind Naruto. Tsunade led the way up the mountain a few yards ahead. At least there were still enough trees to keep good time.

Not that Tsunade showed any signs of slowing. Kakashi eyed the setting sun. Surely, she wouldn't push them into the night. Or maybe she would. Kakashi curled his fingers into a fist at the image of her face when he'd all but accused her of wasting time. He might have pushed too far, but it wasn't his fault she'd overreacted.

So why did the glimpse of hurt through her carefully-constructed mask make him feel as though a vice were squeezing his chest?

Kakashi let Naruto move farther ahead, then let loose a string of curses. What was wrong with him? Why did this woman make him feel all these things? Of course, he'd found women attractive before, but had easily dismissed them. Nothing had ever interfered with his focus on a mission before.

Orange loomed in front of him, and Kakashi immediately planted his feet on the trunk, inches from slamming into Naruto. "Eh, what's this?"

"We're stopping for the night," Tsunade said, standing on the tree ahead of him. Her voice and expression was calm and collected, as if nothing had happened that morning. She dropped down to the small clearing below. Kakashi and Naruto jumped down after her. Kakashi scanned the clearing, and marked the best spot to set up a shelter. If the clouds overhead were any indication, a storm was coming.

"Naruto-kun, go set up the perimeter. I need to talk to Kakashi." Tsunade stood with her arms crossed, unopened pack at her feet.

Naruto scowled. "No fair, Tsunade-baachan! I want to talk about the mission too!"

"Naruto. Go, now." Tsunade's tone left no room for argument.

Kakashi rolled a tent peg between his fingers with a sense of foreboding, and watched Naruto slouch off without further complaint. He flipped the tent peg, and set the tip against the leaf-strewn dirt. He wasn't going to be intimidated like Naruto. "So, I assume we'll get to the mountain village early tomorrow?"

"Kakashi."

Reluctantly, Kakashi lifted his head. Tsunade stared back, expressionless except for a muscle twitching in her jaw. "I wanted to..." She coughed, and struggled for a moment before continuing, "Apologize."

Kakashi's eyebrows shot up. _Apologize?_ Never had he been more thankful for his mask. But he sensed what this was costing her, so he stayed silent.

"I may have... let my temper get the best of me." Tsunade propped her hands on her hips and sighed. "I know that the leadership of this mission became skewed when I revealed myself, but I also put you in charge of mission from the beginning. So... I apologize for forgetting that."

Kakashi stood. Was she saying that she, the hokage, was putting herself under a jōnin? "Maa, I understand." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "But... we happen to be two elite shinobi. I think we can figure out a way to make decisions together. Besides, this mission falls under a medical-nin's expertise."

Tsunade's eyes widened, and he hoped she recognized his attempt at a peace offering. At last, she nodded. "Very well." With that, she shifted back into her brisk, business-like mode. "Let's get this camp set up before the rain comes."

Sure enough, the rain arrived as Kakashi pounded the last stake in. Tsunade already sat inside the open-faced tent, so he slipped in to join her. She'd perched on her rolled up bedroll, reading the mission report.

Tsunade glanced up from her scroll. "As you said, we will be arriving at the village tomorrow. I would like to go over the mission details before we get there." She tapped the page. "It'll be helpful to have a plan in place, especially if things are as chaotic as I think they will be. Come, look at this."

Come... as in sit with her? Kakashi swallowed. No, she certainly hadn't meant that. He stepped across the tent, and crouched next to the outstretched scroll, careful to leave what he felt was a safe distance between his knee and her leg. "Maa, what is it?"

"It's raining!" A wet and mud-spattered Naruto stomped into the tent, and Kakashi eyed the muddy footprints tracked across his bedroll.

"Hai, we noticed." Tsunade looked amused, but then, _her_ bedroll wasn't covered in mud.

"I'm soaked! You did that to me on purpose, Tsunade-baachan," Naruto complained. As if to prove his point, he shook his dripping hair like a dog.

"Naruto!" Tsunade jerked back to protect the mission scroll, and her thigh smashed into Kakashi's knee. The touch sent tingles across his skin, and it took all his willpower not to flinch. Grumbling, Tsunade shifted to inspect the scroll, apparently unaware her leg was still pressed against Kakashi. Every feeling he'd tried to suppress came flooding back in full force. He clenched his teeth. He had to get out of here; get out of these feelings.

Kakashi stood. Why was this happening to him? _Why?_ He exhaled. He needed a distraction. Something to get him refocused. "Ay, Naruto, grab your gear. We're going to have a training session."

"Huh?!" Naruto gaped at him. Then he grinned. "All right! We need to be prepared for all kinds of weather, right Kakashi-sensei?"

"No training." Tsunade shot an annoyed look at Kakashi. "Your wound is still healing. You need to rest it for the mission tomorrow."

She was right, but Kakashi didn't care. He needed to get out of this tent. Besides, he'd fought through plenty of wounds before. Compared to that, the scratch on his arm was nothing. "Are you telling me or ordering me?"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed, but she didn't answer. That was good enough for him. Kakashi turned and headed out into the clearing. "Come, Naruto."

Naruto glanced back at Tsunade, but followed him out. "What are we gonna do?"

"Taijutsu. Hand-to-hand combat." Kakashi pulled out a kunai. He needed to physically exhaust himself, and this was the best way he could think of. Besides, Naruto's taijutsu skills were lacking.

The rain had dissipated to a light sprinkle. Kakashi focused on Naruto. "No other jutsu is allowed. Show me what you've got."

"I'll take you down, Kakashi-sensei! Believe it!" Naruto drew two kunai, and attacked.

Kakashi honed in on his surroundings as he fought. The smell of the damp earth. The crunch of a dead leaf under Naruto's left foot. The branches swaying overhead. The breeze stirring a blade of grass, still glistening from the rain.

Tsunade watching silently from the tent, arms crossed.

Kakashi blocked a strong blow from Naruto, and grimaced at the deep ache in his bicep. At this rate, he might tear the wound open. Still, the pain was a good distraction, and a welcome one. Almost unconsciously, he shifted his attacks and defenses to put the most strain on his arm. He spun on his left foot, and launched himself back at Naruto, pulling back his fist for a punch.

A hand appeared out of nowhere, blocking his blow. Red nail-tipped fingers locked around his fist, nearly wrenching Kakashi's arm out of his socket as he stopped cold. He stared at Tsunade, her outstretched arm effortlessly holding him in place. Of course, he knew of her incredible strength—but she had stopped the full force of his body as easily as catching a leaf in the wind.

Tsunade's mouth tightened. "That's enough."

Was that... a tremble in her voice? Shame trickled through Kakashi, and he stumbled at the sudden lack of pressure when Tsunade released his fist. She shifted past him, and lightly tapped his spine. What the—? Kakashi started to turn, but an electrical current, so slight he hardly felt it, rushed through his body and disappeared. His knees buckled of their own accord, and he collapsed in the mud, unable to stop himself.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto cried. He started toward Kakashi, but Tsunade held out an arm, stopping him.

"He'll be fine, Naruto-kun. I merely mixed the electric signals in his body so he won't be able to move well for a few hours." Tsunade's voice was hard, any sign of trembling gone. "Now, help me get him to his bedroll."

Wide-eyed, Naruto hurried to Kakashi's other side. "But—but why'd you do that?"

Tsunade didn't answer, instead grasping Kakashi's shirt collar with one hand and lifting him out of the mud. "Get under his arm, Naruto."

Obediently, Naruto positioned himself under Kakashi's arm, and Tsunade released him. Kakashi sagged on Naruto's shoulders, unable to make eye contact with Tsunade as Naruto dragged him to the tent.

Kakashi flopped on his bedroll, heat rising in his chest. Tsunade had disciplined him as she would a child. Sure, he shouldn't have strained his arm like that, but he was also an adult—a _jōnin_ —able to make, and responsible for, his own decisions.

"Naruto, go scout the perimeter," Tsunade ordered. Apparently, even Naruto could sense her foul mood, because he left without a word.

Rain pattered on top of the tent, and Tsunade stepped inside. Kakashi sighed, resigning himself to the coming lecture. It wasn't like he could do anything about it anyway, thanks to Tsunade's jutsu.

But Tsunade just sat on her bedroll, wrapped her arms around her midsection, and stared out at the falling rain silently.

Kakashi shifted, feeling as though ants were crawling over his skin. Why wasn't she saying anything? He might as well just get it over with. "Well. Didn't you get rid of Naruto so you could lecture me?"

Tsunade finally looked at him. Her eyes glistened, as if—as if... A jolt seized his chest. Were those tears? But she only sighed tiredly. "Why would I lecture you?"

Kakashi exhaled. Of course. How could he have been so thoughtless? How had he forgotten that Tsunade's greatest pain came from being unable to protect those she cared for? She'd tried to keep him from hurting himself, and he'd thrown it back in her face by ignoring her. She could determine someone's condition by mere observation, so of course she'd been able to sense his pain. The pain she hadn't been able to prevent.

"Ah, well. I kind of deserve one." Kakashi fixed his eye on the peak of their tent. "I was acting like a child. I'm sorry."

Tsunade said nothing, instead pulling her muddied haori closer around her.

Kakashi grimaced. _Fine._ "Whenever I'm feeling, ah, helpless, I have to work, to train, until I don't feel anymore."

Tsunade frowned. "You are healing fine—in spite of straining the wound—and the mission is going well so far. What could possibly be making you feel helpless?"

Kakashi stared out at rain-swept trees. "You, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade stared at him, her lips parted in shock. At last, she stood and smoothed her haori. "Am I not your hokage?"

"Hai," Kakashi forced out. Where was she going with this?

Tsunade nodded and lifted her chin sternly. "Then next time, I expect you to obey me." With that, she strode out into the dark forest.

* * *

Tsunade walked through the shadowed, dripping forest, no destination in mind except to get as far from the camp—and Kakashi—as possible. Only once the tent had vanished from sight was she able to breathe again.

She'd overreacted. She knew that. But why had she felt so terrified when she'd sensed Kakashi's pain? It hadn't even been life-threatening. The need to stop him had overwhelmed her, and the next thing she knew, she was standing between him and Naruto. Tsunade smacked a branch aside, and marched through the spray of water droplets. It had only been four weeks since she'd returned to life as a kunoichi. She was still adjusting, and had overreacted. That was all.

But that wasn't even the real reason she was so... disturbed. Tsunade stopped and closed her eyes.

" _You, Tsunade-sama."_

How could she, Tsunade, make Kakashi Hatake—the feared copy ninja of all people—feel helpless? Did he fear for her safety? If so, he should know that she could take care of herself. She might be older than she used to be, but she was still one of the Sannin. Or perhaps he just didn't like going on a mission with his hokage. But somehow, that didn't feel right. Kakashi was a professional, and even if he didn't like it, he'd make it work without complaint. Tsunade thought back to the silver-haired ninja laying on the tent floor. He'd seemed almost... vulnerable.

The memory of the low timbre in his voice made the skin between her shoulders shiver. Tsunade shook it off impatiently. She was imagining things. She had to be, because if she let herself continue her line of thought, it would only bring trouble. No, more than just trouble. Following that path again could destroy her.

Tsunade huffed. She'd just been a medical-nin concerned for her stubborn, hard-headed patient. Nothing more.

"Tsunade-baachan!"

Naruto tore through the forest, his orange uniform stark against the dark forest. He skidded to a stop next to Tsunade, and grabbed her hand. "Come quick! I found someone who needs your help!"

Someone else was here? Tsunade was too relieved for the distraction to demand an explanation. "Show me."

Instead of going back to camp, Naruto led her deeper into the forest. Ah, yes. She'd almost forgotten she'd sent him out to scout. Tsunade's gaze fixed on a figure huddled by a fallen tree about fifty yards away, and dread crept over her. She'd made her diagnosis by the time she and Naruto stopped in front of the shivering man. He was sick. Very sick. His life force was so weak she doubted he could stand.

Naruto looked up at her, expression bright with hope. "Heal him, Tsunade-baachan!"

Tsunade knelt in front of the man. She had to hurry. She formed two hand signals, and hovered her chakra-glowing hand over the man's chest. Red veins spidered up his neck and cheeks, and likely covered the rest of his bony, frail body. Symptoms of the unknown disease. She exhaled to calm a surge of panic. She would heal him. She had to. "Naruto, go get my bag from camp. Quickly."

Naruto nodded, all seriousness. "Hai." He looked down at the man. "Don't worry, you'll be better in no time. Believe it!"

Tsunade focused on restoring the man's nearly-depleted chakra as Naruto sprinted away. All of his other systems, including organs and blood flow, badly needed her attention as well, but without chakra, he would die. She only hoped she could get to everything in time. "Where did you come from?"

"I am Hisao Itou of Yamagawa," the man gasped. A sheen of sweat shone on his sunken face. "Please, I've come for help. Half the village is—is..."

Yamagawa. Tsunade's heart sank. The village that had requested this mission. As she'd feared, Hisao must be suffering from the unknown disease. "I am Tsunade Senju, and I came from Konoha to help your village."

Itou's bloodshot eyes widened. "Tsunade-hime? One of the Sannin?" He sighed in relief, but it ended in a weak, rattling cough. "We are saved. Thank—thank you."

Tsunade pressed her lips tightly as the all-too-familiar weight of dependent lives draped her shoulders. Because of her reputation, some held her healing abilities at a god-like level. And all too often, the fate of others rested completely on her. During the Second Shinobi War, the pressure of such a responsibility had nearly overwhelmed her. But once she'd accepted it, she had been able to use her skills to turn the tide of the war. It was then that she'd realized the importance of a medical-nin. If only others were willing to dedicate themselves to the intricate training required of a medical-nin. But learning to destroy was much easier than learning to build.

"I'm back, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto skidded to stop, and dropped her bag at her side. "Kakashi-sensei is on his way to help."

Kakashi? He shouldn't be able to move for at least another hour. Tsunade sighed. Still, he was supposed to be a genius. Perhaps he'd already figured out how to move, as Kabuto had done. She turned back to Hisao. His chakra level seemed stable, so she removed her hand to rummage in her bag.

Naruto stared intently at Itou. "Will he be okay, Tsunade-baachan?"

"Hai. I think I can—" Tsunade spun back to Itou. _No_. His vitals were dropping astronomically. She flew through the signs, and placed both hands over his chest. _No. No. No._ His chakra was non-existent, and all of his organs were failing. But how—? Itou's chest stilled, and his heartbeat faded. "No!"

Tsunade poured all of her healing power into Itou's system, eyes blurring. His lifeless face seemed to stab his last words into her soul. _"We are saved."_ She cried out wordlessly. _No._ She couldn't fail him too.

Kakashi stumbled out of the forest, one hand braced on a tree, the other gripping a kunai.

Naruto shook her shoulder, terror etched in his expression. "Tsunade-baachan! What's happening?!"

Itou was gone. Tsunade slowly lowered her hands and curled them into fists. "I—I don't know. I couldn't save him." The cold weight of another death closed around her heart like a vice. "I'm sorry."

"No!" Naruto grabbed Itou's arm. "Why didn't you save him?! He had a family!"

Tsunade stood numbly. What had happened? She'd transferred plenty of chakra; more than enough to ensure he survived while she moved her healing energy to his organs and other functions. It was as if... it had vanished all at once.

Kakashi appeared next to Tsunade, and pulled Naruto away from Itou's body. "Control yourself, Naruto. Tsunade-sama did the best she could. And we don't know how the disease is contracted. It would be best to stay away."

He was right. Tsunade exhaled shakily. "Hai. We—we need to bury him. Then we can cleanse ourselves."

Kakashi turned to her. He was going to ask about the mission; if she'd learned anything important from Itou. But he didn't speak for a long moment, and at last he merely said, "Hai. Naruto and I will dig a grave. You need cleanse yourself, since you were in his presence the longest."

Tsunade closed her eyes and nodded. For once, she was relieved Kakashi had taken the lead on this. Naruto was right; she was the greatest medical-nin in the world. How had she let Itou die? And they were going to a village full of people in the same condition, because she'd been so certain she could heal them. Tsunade bit her lip till it bled. She couldn't fail the village like she'd failed Hisao Itou. She would use all of her skills to figure out how to combat this disease. No. How to cure it.

Kakashi's presence shifted closer, and he murmured where only she could hear, "It isn't your fault, Tsunade-sama. He was too far gone."

Tsunade opened her eyes to meet Kakashi's single one, determination surging. Maybe so, but she wasn't going to let it happen again. "We need to get to the village before this fate befalls anyone else."


	9. Yamagawa

Kakashi surveyed Yamagawa. Even before it had been struck with a life-taking disease, he doubted it had much to boast of. It was barely more than narrow dirt streets and small stone huts, most of which looked vacant.

He brought his focus back to Tsunade, who was talking to the newly-appointed village elder, as the old one had succumbed to the illness three days ago. Though he'd insisted on resting for a couple of hours after they'd buried Itou before heading to the village, the dark circles under her eyes said she hadn't slept. Kakashi grunted, annoyed at his worry. After all, Tsunade knew her limits, and as a medical-nin, was more than capable of taking care of herself.

Nevertheless, he kept a watchful eye on her.

The elder, who'd introduced himself as Fuhi, bowed low, eyes glistening. "It is a great honor to have three Konoha shinobi in our village, and the legendary Tsunade-hime no less. You have our deepest gratitude."

Princess Tsunade? Kakashi lifted an eyebrow. Ah, yes. He'd nearly forgotten she was the granddaughter of the First Hokage.

Tsunade bowed her head, but the deep crease between her brows gave away how troubled she was. Itou's death must have affected her even more than Kakashi had thought. "No need to thank me yet." She straightened, jaw set. "Take us to your hospital. I would like to see the afflicted."

Fuhi's eye twitched. "Of—of course. This way."

They stopped outside of a large white tent past the east side of the village. Fuhi glanced at them nervously. "We are keeping the sick here."

Tsunade's expression was thunderous. Kakashi winced at her white-knuckled fists. She turned on Fuhi. "This—this is all you have to hold patients? How can you properly treat them in such a place?"

She stormed inside. Fuhi swallowed and started to follow, but Kakashi stopped him with a hand on his thin shoulder. "Maa, don't misunderstand Tsunade-sama. She isn't angry with you. She just cares strongly about those who are sick and helpless."

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei is right," Naruto assured Fuhi. "And she has temper problems."

Kakashi sighed inwardly, and led the way into the tent. Tsunade stood inside, but she didn't take her gaze from the rows and rows of filled cots. Only six villagers moved among the sick, offering water and comfort.

Tsunade let out a breath, and briefly closed her eyes. "How many have you lost?"

"Nearly half the village." Fuhi nodded at the cots, shoulders sagging even further. "This is all that remains. Please... if you can do anything..."

"Bring the head medic to me." Tsunade's narrowed honey eyes swept the tent. As Fuhi hurried toward a woman standing among the six, she murmured heavily, "It's like being back in the Second War."

Naruto punched his palm. "Let's get to work and heal these people, Tsunade-baachan!"

Kakashi turned away from the heart-wrenching sight, and met Tsunade's gaze. They didn't have time for uncertainty. He'd make it clear where he stood. "Hai. We are at your command, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade nodded, every line of her face sharp with focus. "Kakashi-san, go search the village for any supplies or anything that will help. Naruto," she pointed at a stack of crates in the corner, "retrieve those. We need to organize this area to get maximum help for the patients. I will speak with the head medic, and figure out how to combat this."

"Consider it done." Kakashi slipped back out of the tent. Nothing about this mission was in his expertise, but it didn't need to be. He had Tsunade, and he would do whatever it took to make sure she succeeded.

Many hours later, Kakashi finished tying down the last corner of their shelter. He stepped past the bedrolls, and glanced up at the half-moon. It was just past midnight, and they had been working in Yamagawa since that morning. He'd left the village long enough to set up a quick campsite outside the borders. They still didn't know how the disease was contracted, so he'd figured it best to keep a distance as much as possible.

Kakashi started back into the village. He'd almost made it to the hospital tent when he spotted Naruto stumbling down one of the dirt paths with an armload of linens. "Ay, Naruto."

Naruto stopped and turned. He broke into a weary grin. "Kakashi-sensei! Tsunade-baachan asked me to bring these to the tent."

Kakashi studied his student. The kid was about to collapse from exhaustion. "Good work, Naruto-kun. But I'll take those. I set up a camp just outside the village. Go get some rest, so you can work harder tomorrow."

Naruto scrunched his face contemplatively. "But what about..."

"That's an order from your sensei." Kakashi lifted the linens from Naruto's arms. "Go."

"Fine. I guess I'm a little tired." Naruto scowled, and headed toward the camp. "But I'll be back before the sun's up. Believe it!"

Kakashi adjusted the linens and strode for the tent. He ducked inside, gaze locking on Tsunade. She stood at the side of one of the patients, glowing hand hovering over the young girl's chest. But she'd been working and healing nonstop for sixteen hours; how did she still have enough chakra to continue?

Tsunade didn't move when he stopped at her side, but she murmured, "I haven't figured out how to restore their chakra without causing their systems to fail. I am only able to heal all other functions." A frustrated sigh shuddered through her body. "But that won't be enough if I can't—if I'm not able to figure out..."

Kakashi curled his fingers into a fist as he realized what she was saying. All this was only to prolong their lives until she was able to figure out a cure. Assuming she had any energy left by then. "You will. But first, you need rest."

Tsunade finally looked at him, golden-brown eyes steely. "I can't. If I leave, they could die. I won't let that happen."

Kakashi considered that, and noted her rigid shoulders. Was she preparing for a fight with him? The thought stung more than he wanted to admit. So, he nodded. "Then I'll stay with you."

Tsunade blinked, clearly taken aback. But she merely turned back to her patient. "The back row needs more water."

They spent the next few hours working in silence, except for Tsunade occasionally asking for more water or a medical scroll to review. But Kakashi mostly found himself leaning against the entrance of the tent, observing Tsunade at work. He'd never really paid much attention to medical-nins and their duties before, but the longer he watched Tsunade, the more his respect grew. She moved tirelessly from patient to patient, devoting all her attention and energy to each person under her care, despite the toll it was taking on her body.

Kakashi slid his hands in his pockets, recalling a comment Jiraiya had made after Tsunade had healed Kakashi from his coma. He and the toad sage had been standing outside of her office, listening to the ear-scorching lecture the Godaime Hokage was giving Naruto. The closed doors had rattled under the force of Tsunade's anger, and Kakashi winced for his student's sake, though Naruto had deserved it.

Kakashi had remarked that their new hokage possessed a bit of temper, and Jiraiya had laughed at the understatement. Then the white-haired sage's face had grown uncharacteristically serious. "Ay, Tsunade can be hot-tempered. But no one cares for the people of Konoha more than she does. Someday, you'll see that side of her, though she hides well."

As he was seeing it now. Kakashi tipped his chin in acknowledgement of past Jiraiya.

Tsunade walked to the next cot. She hadn't glanced at Kakashi in over an hour, though he had little doubt she knew he was still there. Her stride didn't falter, but Kakashi was a jōnin, with observation skills that had saved his life more than once.

Tsunade's feet were dragging a fraction more than usual, and her hand briefly touched the side of the cot to steady herself.

All right. Kakashi straightened. He'd stood around long enough. This, at least, was something he could do. He slipped soundlessly out of the tent, and headed into the forest to gather an armload of wood.

It didn't take long to build a fire and fetch water to boil. Kakashi pulled out a small bag of tea leaves he'd taken from the hospital tent, and sniffed them. Perfect. This particular brew didn't have the most pleasant taste, but it was often used to boost energy. He carefully poured the finished tea into a ceramic cup he'd scrounged up, and once he'd cleaned up his mess, carried it back to the tent.

Tsunade was standing next to another patient, her hand pressed to the small of her back. As soon as he lifted the tent flap, she quickly lowered her hand and leaned over the patient. Kakashi walked to her, keeping an eye on the steaming tea so it wouldn't spill. Hmm, perhaps he'd filled the cup a little too full. Tsunade turned toward him, either because she'd sensed him coming or she'd smelled the tea.

"Did you need something?" Tsunade eyed the cup suspiciously. "What is that?"

"You seemed a little... tired, so I made you some tea. It helps restore energy." Kakashi held out the cup, and half-closed his eyes lazily, as if he hadn't spent the last half hour making it.

Tsunade stared at cup, then him, in confusion. She made no attempt to take it. "You... made this? Just now?"

This wasn't going how he'd planned. Why wasn't she taking the cup? Kakashi shrugged. "Maa, well, I happen to be well-known in Konoha for my mastery of tea-brewing. You may have heard some of the other shinobi mention it."

"No. I haven't heard any such thing." Tsunade was giving him such a strange look, he almost reached up to check if he'd sprouted horns.

Kakashi extended the cup a little farther. If she didn't hurry up, it would get cold. "Here. You look like you could use some energy." Immediately, he grimaced at his wording. Tsunade had knocked people out for less. "Ah, I mean... you've been working so hard, I wanted to offer my, er, tea. To help."

Tsunade glared at him. But she took the cup and downed the bitter tea in a single gulp. Before Kakashi could move, she plunked the empty cup back in his hand. "Thank you, master of tea-brewing. Now, leave me alone so I can focus."

"Ah, hai." Kakashi shifted back to his spot as Tsunade moved to the patients. But unless he was imagining things, her actions were faster than before, and her feet no long dragged. So, he allowed himself a smile of satisfaction. Kakashi remained in his place until the pale light of early morning streaming through the tent canvas. He glanced out the flap. The village medics and Fuhi would likely show up soon.

Tsunade slumped in the chair he'd brought hours ago, but had refused to use until now. She groaned, and rested her head in her hand. "I need a drink."

Kakashi pushed off the support post and approached her. The lack of sleep hadn't really bothered him; he hardly slept most nights anyway. But Tsunade needed rest, especially after the drain of healing for the past twenty-four hours. "No, you need sleep."

Tsunade shot him an annoyed look, but surprisingly didn't retort. Perhaps she was too tired. That settled that. She'd get rest, even if he had to force her. Kakashi pulled his hands from his pockets, intending to assist her up.

Tsunade only snorted. "Getting down to business, are we?"

Kakashi held out his hand. "Come, Tsunade-sama. You know you need rest, or you won't be able to function when we find the cure. As your equal partner on this mission, I insist that you sleep for a few hours. The patients seem stable enough for the village medics to take care of them for a few hours."

Tsunade gave him a long, narrow-eyed stare, blonde head still resting on her palm. But at last she huffed, and placed her slender, red nail-tipped hand in his large, rough one. Kakashi slammed his unwelcome thoughts behind a mental door and locked it. Now wasn't the time. He helped Tsunade to her feet, and thankfully, she pulled her hand away. Kakashi walked closely to Tsunade as she led the way to small stone hut only twenty yards away. He decided not to push his luck and mention the camp he'd set up. Likely, she wanted to stay close to the hospital.

Tsunade stopped at the hut door, and placed her hand on the handle. "Wake me if any of the medics have questions or need assistance."

"Hai, of course," Kakashi agreed automatically. But his gaze lingered on her hand, and he noticed her skin had new wrinkles. She'd strained herself so much her transformation jutsu had begun to fade? He focused intently on her face, fighting his surge of worry. Small wrinkles had formed around her eyes, but nothing more.

Tsunade's gaze flickered away, and she snapped, "Don't look at me like that. It's not like I'm an old woman who might collapse at any moment." As soon as she spoke, a shutter closed over her face, as if regretting what she'd said, and Tsunade turned to the door, shoving it open with more force than necessary.

Kakashi knew she didn't like reminders of her age, but this... seemed like something more. Without thinking, he reached out and caught Tsunade's hand. "That's not what I was thinking, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade stopped and half-turned, meeting his gaze. Her blonde hair hung in her face, the face that had been closed off only a moment earlier, but her mask had now cracked enough for Kakashi to glimpse her insecurity. Did she really think that her true appearance and age made her worth less? Hot anger expanded in his chest. If only he knew who had caused her believe such a thing. He would make them pay.

Or... an uncomfortable weight formed in his pocket, where he kept his copy of _Icha Icha_ Paradise. Was it the likes of Jiraiya and those who judged Tsunade and other woman based on their age and beauty? He'd nearly forgotten she had been Jiraiya's teammate, and as such, had likely been subjected to his lewd comments on a daily basis. Kakashi had never treated women like Jiraiya did, but he read the famed pervert's books and had enjoyed them... until now. Jiraiya himself had said much of _Icha Icha_ was inspired by Tsunade, and she likely knew it.

Tsunade hadn't tried to pull away, but Kakashi tightened his grip anyway. "I was thinking... that no one takes care of the people better than you. But you don't have anyone to take care of you."

Tsunade's expression relaxed, and her soft pink lips curved slightly. "Baka." Her whisper sent a tremor through his body. "I have you, don't I?"

Kakashi swallowed, unable to tear away from Tsunade's face, set aglow by the blush of sunrise. All he had to do was lean forward and— _no_. What was he doing? When had he gotten so close? Mere inches separated him from Tsunade. His _hokage._ It took all of the little willpower he had left, but Kakashi released her and took a step back. "Ah, well. I'd like to bring my hokage back to Konoha in one piece."

Tsunade lowered her head. Abruptly, she turned and entered the hut, leaving Kakashi outside. When she glanced back, her expression was smooth. "I appreciate the escort, Kakashi-san, but I don't need help undressing."

Heat flooded Kakashi's cheeks, and his body's betrayal shocked him nearly as much as Tsunade's comment. Of all the ways to react... "Of—of course not. Goodnight, Hokage-sama."

Kakashi left before she could shut the door. He stopped a block away to regain his composure, and scanned the shadowed streets of Yamagawa. He needed this mission to end, so he could get away from Tsunade. Maybe he'd request a mission with Guy once this was over. If anything could get Tsunade's honey eyes, fierce spirit and determination, soft lips, and her care for others out of his mind—it was Guy and his obnoxious habits.

Kakashi shook himself. Focus. He couldn't help Tsunade with healing, and finding the cure was the priority. But she would have a hard time doing that with the villagers needing constant care. He nodded to himself. He'd do some investigating around the village, and see if he could discover where the source of the disease had come from. It might help Tsunade figure out a cure.

So decided, Kakashi set off into the village.


	10. Regret

Tsunade flipped the last page of the eleventh patient file closed, and reached for the next one. She blinked hard, and focused on the script. After a measly two hours of sleep, she would kill for a bottle of sake.

Eiko, one of the only two medics left, had finally gathered all of the files late that morning, and had brought them to Tsunade as she'd requested. Unfortunately, that meant Eiko had decided to shake her awake. Tsunade sighed. Though in the medic's defense, she'd likely thought Tsunade had slept all night like everyone else. What she wouldn't give to have Shizune here. Her assistant was much better organizing files, and, if she were being honest, concentrating on such things in general. Though if Shizune were present, she would certainly be cracking the whip like she... always...

_Thump._

Tsunade jolted awake, her face smashed on the twelfth patient file. Slowly, she pushed herself upright. Had she just fallen face-first on the desk? She groaned, and rubbed her throbbing nose and forehead. Thank the shinobi gods Naruto hadn't been here to see that.

"Tsunade-baachan!"

Tsunade was tempted to groan again. Speak of the devil. Literally.

Naruto stopped next to her makeshift desk, arms crossed and grinning. "I slept in a little, but now I'm all packed and ready to go back to Konoha. You've healed all the villagers, right Tsunade-baachan?"

The throbbing in Tsunade's skull intensified. "No. I haven't been able to find a cure."

"Eh, what?!" Naruto's grin melted into a scowl. "But you can heal anyone! What's the point of being the best medical-nin in the world if you can't heal these people of their suffering?"

Tsunade stared at the twelfth patient file, jaw clenched. Naruto was hardly helping, right though he was. She couldn't remember the last time she'd met a sickness she couldn't heal. Had her years of selfish abandonment finally caught up with her? "I don't know. This disease... it doesn't make any sense."

She pressed her fingers to her forehead, and closed her eyes. It was almost as if it had been created specifically to oppose her.

A touch on her arm startled her eyes open. Naruto gazed down at her, a furrow between his brows. "Don't worry, Tsunade-baachan. If anyone can do it, you can! I know you'll find a way. Believe it!"

Tsunade managed a fond smile. The occasional glimpses of the hokage Naruto would become never failed to encourage her. Nawaki and Dan would be proud to see their dreams living on in such a boy. But it didn't change the fact that she was at a dead end. None of the patient files so far had given her any insight. And without any kind of lab or equipment to run tests or study samples, she was severely handicapped. If only she had something to give her hope of a breakthrough. She hadn't wanted to experiment on the patients without more information, but at this point... she didn't have much choice, if she wanted them to survive.

The curtain over the entrance to the small stone hut lifted, and Kakashi stepped in, stopping to lean on the door frame.

Tsunade's gut tightened. He'd taken the same position when he'd stayed up with her all night in the medical tent. Had he known his presence had given her the strength to keep going? That someone had been willing to stay by her side... she mentally shoved the thought back to the recesses of her mind. "Where have you been?"

Kakashi pushed off the door, hands remaining in his pockets. "I did some reconnaissance in the village. It took a little digging, but I believe I know the location where the first victim contracted the sickness. It's up in the mountains."

Tsunade stood, though she wanted nothing more than to collapse into her chair in relief. Bless the stubborn man. "Good. Perhaps I can find answers there. How far?"

Kakashi rubbed his masked chin. "My source estimated a two-day hike for shinobi."

Then they didn't have time to lose. Tsunade slammed her palm on her desk, and Naruto flinched. "We must go immediately. I don't know how long the patients will last without me."

"Maa, I thought you might say that." Kakashi lifted their packed bags out of the shadows with one hand. "All set."

When had he had time to do all this? Tsunade frowned as realization settled over her. Kakashi had stayed up all night with her, then he must have gone to do his investigation after he'd seen her to bed. Which meant he hadn't slept at all in the past thirty-six hours. "Very well. Once you get some rest, we'll go."

Kakashi slung his pack over his shoulder. "I'm fine, Tsunade-sama. We need to go."

It had come to this, had it? Tsunade stepped around her desk, and stopped toe-to-toe with Kakashi. The top of her head barely reached past his chin, but she was used to being quite a bit shorter than her comrades. It hadn't stopped her from intimidating shinobi much bigger than Kakashi. She met his single eye with the full force of her glare. "I am your hokage. And I order you to go sleep for three hours."

Kakashi hesitated. But at last, he dipped his chin and strode out without a word.

Satisfied, Tsunade turned back to a wide-eyed Naruto. She gestured impatiently to the swaying curtain. "Come, Naruto. Let's go find something to eat while we're waiting for Kakashi-san."

Besides, she needed a drink.

* * *

"Keep a close monitor on their organ functions, especially heart." Tsunade skimmed the instructional medical scroll she'd hastily written for Eiko and her assistants. "Their levels should hold until I return."

And if they didn't... Her grip tightened on the scroll. _No._ The patients would survive.

"We will do as you say." Eiko took the scroll, bowing with gratitude. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

A familiar presence appeared on her right. Kakashi. Exactly three hours later, as she'd expected. Tsunade turned toward him, and unbidden, her heart lurched. She hadn't realized he'd stood so close. Nearly as close as he'd been last night.

Tsunade clenched her teeth and slammed her eyes shut, trying to rid herself of the memory. She'd purposefully kept herself from remembering that moment all day, and she had nearly made it. How did Kakashi manage to say all the right things? Things that made her heart flutter and her knees weak. He had moved so close, his gray gaze so intense—as if he was going to kiss her. And what was worse... she had almost wanted him to.

 _No._ She couldn't even think about it without feeling like a dirty old woman. How could she let herself entertain such things? She was his hokage, and a good twenty-three years older.

"It's been three hours." Kakashi sounded as disgruntled as she was. Though for a very different reason.

Tsunade spotted her pack where she'd left it, and strode to it. Putting distance between them was a relief. Now if she could only distance herself from her thoughts... and certain feelings for a silver-haired jōnin. "Good." She slung her pack over her shoulder and walked past Kakashi to the tent flap. "Then let's go."

They were halfway out of the village before Tsunade noticed Naruto wasn't with them. But she couldn't very well ask Kakashi about it now without revealing her absentmindedness. After a bit of thought, she finally came up with a satisfactory question. "Is Naruto meeting us farther out?"

Kakashi shook his head, gaze focused on the path ahead. "I ordered him to stay behind and assist the village with the sick."

Ah. Tsunade nodded in answer. That was a good idea. And if things took a turn for the worse, Naruto would be able to report back.

After that, they traveled in silence. Tsunade didn't consider herself a particularly talkative person, but after a couple of hours the silence began to grate on her nerves. Perhaps she talked more than she'd thought. Kakashi, on the other hand, seemed content, probably even enjoying the peacefulness. Still, from what she'd heard about him back in Konoha, Kakashi spent most of his free time in solitude, often visiting the graves of his fallen comrades and father. It had struck her as a very dreary existence; not that she could judge. She'd spent the past fifteen years running from her life by drowning herself in sake and gambling.

Tsunade scowled. And this was why she disliked silence. It left her with entirely too much time to think.

"Something bothering you, Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi's gaze fixed on her as they started up the mountainside. Bother. He must have noticed her scowl.

Suddenly, she didn't feel like talking anymore. So, she shrugged him off. "Just regretting my life choices."

"Hmm." Kakashi's eye dropped to the rocky ground under their feet. "The life choices that brought you to climbing a mountain in search of a cure to an uncurable illness with the unfortunate company of a hard-headed jōnin?"

If Tsunade didn't know better, Kakashi almost sounded like he wanted her to refute his question. "Hardly. The choices that led me here are the best I have made in a long time." Except the reminder of her duties as hokage elicited a sigh of despair. "Though the amount of paperwork awaiting my return may change my mind."

Tsunade could have imagined it, but she was fairly certain the crinkle of Kakashi's eye meant he'd smiled under his mask. "I see."

Tsunade peered ahead to the rest of the mountainside still to go, and regretted it. Merely looking at such a torturous climb made her long for a hot spring. Her feet would be begging her for one once this was over. She sighed, and directed her attention back to Kakashi. "Have you ever considered working toward hokage yourself?"

Kakashi actually shuddered. "Ah, no. My skills are better suited for the field." He sent her a sideways glance. "Besides, Konoha could have no better hokage than you, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade sniffed. Though she knew his remark was nothing more than an attempt at flattery to stay on her good side, it still warmed her to hear a vote of confidence in her favor. More often than not, most of the comments she'd heard since becoming hokage were complaints about her habits and temper.

Especially from the Konoha elders. Sometimes, she thought they existed solely to make her life difficult.

Tsunade dismissed any thought of the old bags. She could deal with them, and they weren't worth her time or worry. "That's unfortunate. And here I was hoping to pass on the workload of paperwork within a few years."

Kakashi looked at her full on, but his stride didn't slow. And he was definitely smiling. "Maa, well, I'm always willing to summon my ninken if you ever need a few papers eaten."

Tsunade had a ridiculous urge to laugh, but she managed to contain it to an amused snort. "I will keep that in mind."

As they continued up the mountain in silence, Tsunade nearly stumbled as she realized that, in spite of the circumstances, she hadn't enjoyed herself this much since Nawaki and Dan were alive. The thought immediately snuffed out the warm glow in her chest, leaving behind the familiar cold emptiness that had kept her company for the past twenty-seven years. She curled her fingers into white-knuckled fists.

What was she doing? Letting herself feel... _this_ would only result in more heartbreak. And that was one thing she couldn't handle. Not again.

Several hours later, they stopped to make camp. Kakashi found a smooth patch of stone protected by a high ledge. Though it blocked most of the wind, the chill of the mountains only grew with the night. They both agreed a fire would help more than hurt, and they were still low enough that a few scraggly trees provided firewood.

But once the camp was set up and the fire built, there was nothing to do but sit in silence. Tsunade settled on one side of the fire and Kakashi crouched on the other. Tsunade studied the flames, fighting the urge to fidget. Naruto's presence had provided more a buffer than she'd realized. Of course, he hadn't been with them while they'd traveled up the mountain, but the act of having something to do had been enough of a distraction in itself.

Tsunade pulled out one of the medical scrolls she'd brought to study, and unfurled it over her crossed legs. She got through several paragraphs, but the silence nagged at her, forcing her to go back and reread several lines.

Finally, Tsunade lifted her gaze to Kakashi. He hadn't moved in the past twenty minutes, not even to pull out his copy of _Icha Icha_. In fact, now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen him read Jiraiya's garbage since they'd stayed in the hot springs' village. Instead, he seemed content to stare intently into the flames. She supposed that wasn't surprising, as he was alone so much and likely used to silence anyway.

Tsunade frowned; an unsettling thought occurring to her. Kakashi spent more of his free time with the dead than the living. Which meant... Had anyone truly tried to get to know him? Tsunade laced her fingers tightly. She had even admitted to herself that she didn't know much about him, besides what she'd read in his file. The least she could do was show Kakashi that she cared about him as his hokage.

All right, then. Tsunade rolled her scroll shut with a snap, and Kakashi's head jerked up. She met his gaze steadily. "Tell me about yourself, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi's eyebrow shot up, and it took him several seconds to reply. "Well... haven't you read my file?"

Tsunade didn't waver. "That is facts, nothing else."

Kakashi leaned back on his elbows, considering. At last, he gave a slow nod. "Maa, all right. Ask me something, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade blinked. She hadn't exactly expected that response, nor could she tell if he was mocking her or genuinely intended on answering. Briefly, she was tempted to ask about his mask, but she also knew that was likely what everyone asked him. She needed to ask something that proved she truly did want to get to know Kakashi Hatake. Or... she could be petty, and ask about what never failed to irritate her. Just like his slouched posture was now. "Very well. Why do you always act so apathetic and flippant?"

Kakashi tilted his head, but he didn't answer for several seconds. Then he straightened, forearms resting on his knees. "I used to care too much, and it nearly broke me." He shrugged. "So, if I don't care too much, it will hurt a lot less."

Tsunade stiffened. She, too, knew the pain of caring too much. But she never would have thought he... Why had Kakashi admitted such a thing to her? "I..."

"Maa, and here I thought you would ask about my mask." Kakashi's eye crinkled at her.

Tsunade seized the much-needed lightness, and managed a snort. "Baka. I already know why you wear a mask."

Kakashi's eye widened. "Ah... you do?"

"Of course. You told me yourself." Tsunade brushed off her haori, and smirked. "Your face is so ugly, you will only let your wife see it."

Too late, she realized she'd left herself wide open. Kakashi reached up, and hooked a fingertip around the top of his mask, his gaze never leaving her. "Ah, hai. But... if I remember correctly... you're my wife, hmm?"

Tsunade fought to keep her expression neutral, though she was sure she was failing miserably. Surely, he wasn't... would he? Of course, she was curious to see under his mask, but it wasn't like she was obsessed like everyone else in Konoha. In fact, she would tell Kakashi not to remove the mask. See what he thought about—

Wait. She bristled. Had he just called her his wife?

Kakashi pulled his mask down in one swift motion. Tsunade's stomach lurched, and she couldn't help a sharp intake of breath.

But underneath... was another mask?

Kakashi chuckled, eye gleaming with amusement. "Maa, there's not much under there."

Tsunade's vision went red. How dare he play such a trick on her? She wasn't—she wasn't some kind of—She shot to her feet, both fists clenched. "You—you...!" She couldn't think of a strong enough insult, so she stalked toward him, blood hot. "Maybe I'll knock some sense into your thick skull!"

Kakashi scrambled to his feet, eye wider than she'd ever seen it. "Wait, Tsunade-sama! It was just a joke. I didn't mean—"

Tsunade attempted to shove his chest, but Kakashi caught both of her wrists. She looked down, anger slowly draining away. Her wrists looked so small in his large, warm hands. A tingle raced across her skin, and she struggled to remember why she'd been so angry in the first place.

"It was just a joke," Kakashi repeated, his voice low and raspy. When she didn't reply, his grip tightened. "Are you all right, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade bit her lip. Why _had_ she been so angry? It had been nothing more than a joke, yet she'd reacted like... Her cheeks flamed. Had she really wanted to see under Kakashi's mask that much? No. The answer squeezed her lungs so tightly she could barely breathe. She'd wanted Kakashi to reveal his face because it would mean he trusted her enough to show her his true self.

Because she wanted to mean something to him.

Fool. Fool. _Fool_. The word pulsed with her heartbeat. And in that moment, she knew her feelings toward Kakashi Hatake ran deeper than simple attraction. She wanted to scream—and possibly smash something. Ever since Dan, she hadn't... she'd never—

_Dan._

Tsunade pulled her hands free of Kakashi and stumbled back, trembling. Impossible. This couldn't be right. She couldn't—it wasn't...

"Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi stared at her with concern, as if afraid he'd broken her.

"Ah, hai. I'm fine." Tsunade pressed a hand to her forehead, suddenly aware of her throbbing headache. "I apologize for overreacting. I—I think I just need some rest. It's been a long day."

Kakashi murmured something, but Tsunade didn't hear him. She staggered to her bedroll and collapsed on it, rolling over so her back was to Kakashi. She gripped a fistful of her blanket. Tears stung her eyes, and streamed down her cheeks.

_Dan. I'm so sorry._


	11. The Sealing Circle

Kakashi opened his eyes. Overhead, the early morning dusted the clouds with the pink of approaching dawn. Lovely as it was, he let himself lay still for a few minutes, watching the sky. Tsunade usually slept in as long as possible, so it wouldn't hurt to give himself a few more minutes of uninterrupted peace. He briefly closed his aching eyes. He rarely slept the entire night without disturbances; such as nightmares, or even worse, memories.

But tonight, he'd hardly slept for an entirely different reason. Kakashi rolled his head to the side to check on his sleeping partner—and stiffened. Tsunade's bedroll was empty. And her pack gone.

Kakashi was out of his bedroll in an instant. The sharp chill of mountain air bit his bare arms, but he barely noticed. Wearing nothing but his pants and the sleeveless undershirt that also covered his mouth and nose, Kakashi scoured the ground until he found Tsunade's tracks. Why would she leave? Uneasiness prickled the back of his neck at the memory of last night. He still wasn't sure what had caused Tsunade to react in such a way, but it had obviously been his fault.

Kakashi only paused long enough to strap his weapons belt around his waist, then took off after her tracks. If Tsunade had left because of him... he wasn't sure what he'd do, but he'd think of something. Maybe even apologize. _Women._ There was a reason he'd been single so long. Yet, there was also a reason he was running after Tsunade half-clothed and barefoot. Kakashi huffed. Good thing Asuma couldn't see him now.

Kakashi rounded a large boulder—and froze. About fifteen yards away, Tsunade sat cross-legged at a small, clear mountain stream, fully clothed and reading a medical scroll. Her thick, damp blonde hair flowed freely down her back. He blinked, relief short-circuiting his brain. Had she just taken a bath? Tsunade must have sensed his presence, because she glanced up, and they stared at the other for a full twenty seconds.

At last, Tsunade coughed. "Don't tell me. You're... sleepwalking?"

Sleepwalking? Kakashi ran a hand through his loose hair—wait. Loose hair? He hadn't even put his headband on to cover his Sharingan. No wonder she thought something was off. "No, I was just..." Why was he trying to defend himself? The whole reason he was out here was _her_ fault. Kakashi jammed his hands in his pockets in an attempt to regain his usual cool. "I wasn't the one who vanished from camp without a word."

Tsunade snorted, and turned back to her medical scroll. "So, we have to tell each other every time we step out of camp? I didn't know you were so strict, Kakashi- _kun_."

The not-so-subtle reminder of her higher status and age difference stung more than he'd thought it would. Kakashi curled his cold fingers into fists. "It's not that. After last night I wasn't sure if... I may have been concerned."

Tsunade's shoulders stiffened. "I told you, I was tired and not thinking straight. That's all. I merely came out here to bathe and study for the mission without a certain nosy jōnin around."

"I see." Kakashi knew when he'd been dismissed, so he turned away. "I'll go break camp, then."

"Kakashi."

Kakashi stilled. No honorifics? Genius or not, he couldn't figure Tsunade out. He faced her, hands still in his pockets. "Mmm?"

Tsunade's arms were crossed, but her gaze fixed on the gurgling stream instead of him. "Tell me something. Why has a man such as yourself never had a—a significant other?"

For the first time that he could remember, Kakashi's jaw dropped. Whatever he'd been expecting Tsunade to say, it wasn't that. She hadn't been talking to Anko and Kurenai... had she? "I, uh..."

"I don't mean to pry, but it seems rather unusual," Tsunade continued airily, though she still avoided his gaze for some reason. "Someone as mysterious and talented as yourself surely has girls throwing themselves at you. So, as your hokage, I am quite willing to help with—"

"Actually, there is someone," Kakashi interjected quickly, more to shut Tsunade up than anything. The entire conversation felt surreal. Were they actually talking about his love life?

Tsunade stared at him blankly. "You... there is?"

"Hai. But she doesn't know." This time, Kakashi looked away. What would Tsunade do if he told her the truth? Probably laugh. Then kill him.

"I see." Tsunade almost sounded... relieved? But he didn't have time to dwell on it, because Tsunade gathered her pack and offered a smile as she walked past him. "Then when we return to Konoha, I will give you a few pointers from a lady's point of view. No one should be alone."

Kakashi tensed. The last thing he wanted was Tsunade giving him romantic advice for who she assumed was someone else. "Alone... as you are?"

Tsunade's steps faltered. But she only shot a glare over her shoulder, honey eyes flashing. "That is different! I've had my chance at love, and once is quite enough for me. Besides, I am hardly alone. I have all of Konoha."

Kakashi recognized a deflection when he heard one. But he hadn't missed the slight tremble in her voice either. Then it hit him: _Dan._ A sick feeling sank in his gut like a lead weight. With all his joking about her being a wife last night, of course it would bring back memories of the only man she'd ever loved. And of course she had acted the way she did. He was a fool. No, worse than a fool. Kakashi gripped a fistful of his hair, and groaned inwardly. He was an insensitive jerk. He exhaled, mentally preparing to get pummeled. As much as he was dreading it, there was only one thing he could do. "Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade stopped halfway up the path and turned slightly, eyebrow raised. "What is it? We need to get going."

Kakashi squared his shoulders. "I wanted to apologize for my insensitive behavior last night. I didn't intend to remind you of—of him."

Tsunade's face turned white. "What... what are you talking about?"

Clearly, she knew exactly what he was talking about. But he wasn't about to point that out. After all, he was the one apologizing. Kakashi cleared his throat. "My, ah, joking last night. I didn't mean to remind you of what you have lost. I wasn't thinking." He tried for a lighter tone, "Next time, feel free to smack me."

Tsunade stared at him for a long moment, gaze unreadable. "You did nothing wrong, Kakashi-san. And," she added evenly, "we will never speak of this again. Is that clear?"

"Ah... hai." Kakashi blinked, feeling slightly blindsided. He hadn't done anything wrong? His ears started to burn. Had he completely misread Tsunade and the entire situation? But... his instincts were always right. And what else would have caused her to have such a reaction?

Tsunade faced forward and continued up the pathway. "Good. Now, since that's settled, we should get moving."

As far as Kakashi could see, they hadn't settled anything. He rubbed the back of his neck. But Tsunade was right about one thing; they needed to get moving. So, he trudged up the hill after her, more confused than when he'd come down. _Women, anyway._

* * *

Tsunade climbed yet another outcropping, panting. Maybe if she exerted herself enough, she could forget the events of the past twelve hours. Her heel slid on a loose pebble, and she barely caught herself, letting out a loud curse. Normally, she preferred heels, but climbing a mountain for hours on end with them wasn't her best idea.

"Having trouble, Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi asked mildly from behind her.

Tsunade scowled. Likely, he thought her age was slowing her down. She picked up the pace purposefully. "No."

Kakashi grunted. "I only meant that I have to train constantly to keep my edge, and you've been... absent from the kunoichi life for a while. So, I, ah, could use a partner in my rock-climbing training when we return to Konoha. If you want."

He was inviting her to go rock-climbing? Tsunade finally glanced over her shoulder, but Kakashi was focused on his next handhold. She'd have thought he preferred to do it alone, and certainly not with her of all people. Still... she couldn't remember the last time someone had wanted to train with her. Jiraiya had told her she could be intense, so she'd wondered if that had something to do with it. "I'm flattered, but you should really consider inviting _someone_ else to climb with you."

Kakashi raised his head to stare at her, silver hair flopping adorably over his forehead. She ruthlessly stomped out _that_ thought. He seemed genuinely confused. "Maa, who? Guy is... too enthusiastic."

An understatement, but not the point. Was Guy the only person he could consider training with? Tsunade rolled her eyes. How could a genius be that dense? "Your _someone_ , of course."

"Ah. Of course." Kakashi ducked his head, but not before she caught a hint of a blush.

Tsunade smirked, ignoring the slight— _very_ slight—pang in her chest. What a relief it had been to find out Kakashi had someone. Now she could forget the brief and inappropriate feelings that had plagued her for a couple of days. Though his sweet—and rather awkward—apology that morning hadn't helped. At all. For one terrifying moment she'd thought he had realized the real reason for her distress, but thankfully not. Still, his assumptions had hit too close for comfort.

In spite of it all, she couldn't help a faint smile. To think he'd been so concerned about her feelings. At least she'd had the presence of mind to shut him down before it went any further.

Tsunade huffed. She just wasn't used to being treated as Kakashi treated her. As a person, not just as his hokage. Possibly even someone he saw as a friend, or at least was fond of. Who knew such an indifferent and solitary ninja could be so... thoughtful? Not to mention loyal, stubborn, and with an enjoyable sense of humor.

Besides, a part of her attraction was likely because some of Kakashi's actions reminded her of Dan. Therefore, she was just reacting to her memories. She wasn't betraying Dan. Yet, the years had changed her. In many ways, she wasn't the woman Dan had fallen in love with. If he were alive, would Dan even love who she had become? She had failed him—failed Konoha—in so many ways.

Tsunade squeezed her eyes shut. What had brought on these contemplations? She didn't need to be thinking about such things without a bottle of sake.

Something Dan likely wouldn't have approved of. He'd gently reprimanded her for her gambling habit, so she'd stopped during the three months they had dated before his death. Not that she'd had much time to, anyway, with the war and all. But she couldn't help a slight smile at the memory of Kakashi bringing her a bottle of sake when he'd received his first mission from her.

Kakashi, at least, understood the guilt of failure. He'd had his fair share, and had to deal with it on his own as she had. She frowned. Why was she thinking about Kakashi again?

Tsunade pulled herself up onto the top of the cliff, and gazed narrow, jagged peak was just ahead. Focusing on the mission would help rid herself of these nagging thoughts. As she waited for Kakashi, a strange sensation washed over her, almost like a tugging at her chakra. She stiffened, scanning the clifftop for anything unusual. Kakashi straightened next to her, and she murmured, "Did you feel that?"

His eye narrowed. "Hai."

"I think we're close." Tsunade started for the peak, wind whipping her hair, every sense alert. Kakashi followed close behind.

The sensation only grew the closer they got to the peak. At last, they reached the summit, and Tsunade stopped, stomach sinking at the sight before them. The center of the peak was flat and circular, surrounded by the natural, sharp rocks of the mountain. In the middle of the flat center was a massive sealing circle, the lines of script extending nearly to where Tsunade and Kakashi stood.

Cold seeped into Tsunade's bones as she read the script. There was no doubt in her mind. This had been created specifically for her.

"It seems to be some kind of sealing jutsu," Kakashi observed. He made no move to get closer. "But what?"

Tsunade inhaled slowly. Of course. Kakashi wasn't a medical-nin, so he couldn't read the specialized script. She wrapped her arms around her midsection, and steeled herself for what she had to do. "It is a chakra-feeding... disease."

It wasn't exactly a disease, but she didn't have a better word for it. "Whoever put it here is very skilled. Likely, they brought the first host here, who then got infected, and returned to Yamagawa with it. The more chakra the disease absorbs, the stronger it grows. That is why..." She closed her eyes. "Why Hisao Itou died so quickly. I gave him my chakra, essentially feeding the disease. With my chakra, it grew strong enough to kill him instantly. That is also why the villagers have lasted so long; they don't have the amount of chakra a shinobi does. But if the disease reaches Konoha..."

"It would kill everyone within days." Kakashi's voice was heavy. "Maa, this isn't good. How can we stop it?"

That was an answer she wasn't ready to give. Tsunade studied the seal. "With this kind of seal, the disease travels through the earth. Possibly, it is contracted through their food. I think the first host gave it enough chakra to reach the village. Once it absorbs all of their chakra, it will only move farther, from village to village, until it reaches Konoha. With that much chakra, there will be no stopping it. It must be dealt with now."

Kakashi's gaze fixed on her, as if sensing what she was about to say. "Tsunade-sama—"

Tsunade stripped off her haori, and the cold wind sliced across her skin. The usual practice when absorbing a seal was to remove all the clothing on the upper body. But she wasn't about to do that with Kakashi present. Bare arms were enough. "I have to seal it inside myself. It's the only way to save the Land of Fire. And Konoha."

"No!" Kakashi caught her arm, and warmth surged over her skin. His eye bored into her. "Let me do it."

"Let go!" Tsunade snapped, and jerked her arm free. Though if she were honest, her anger was directed at her body's reaction to Kakashi's touch and what was to come, not his protectiveness.

Kakashi lifted his hand, but didn't attempt to touch her again. His gray gaze begged her. "It's my duty to protect you, Tsunade-sama. Let me do this."

"You can't," Tsunade retorted sharply. "It would kill you. I have massive chakra reserves sealed behind my Strength of a Hundred, and I have my Creation Rebirth. I am the only one who can survive this." She lifted her chin. "Besides, I am the Godaime Hokage. It's my duty to protect Konoha."

Of course, if she even tried to release her Creation Rebirth to heal herself, the immense amount of chakra would likely kill her instantly. She would have to rely solely on her Senju stamina, and hope her body lasted long enough for her to find a cure. But Kakashi didn't need to know that. As hokage, sometimes she had to resort to white lies.

Tsunade removed her heels, then walked out to the center of the sealing circle. She faced Kakashi, and used all her willpower to keep her voice from shaking. "You may have to finish the sealing for me. Be ready."

Kakashi gave a single nod, stoic and expressionless. But every muscle in his body was lined with tension.

Tsunade exhaled, then started the signs. Even simple sealings were extremely painful. She couldn't imagine the agony a sealing this big would bring. But she could take it. She had to.

Tsunade finished the signs, and knelt in the circle. She placed a hand on either side of her, palms flat, and lowered her head. At first, the absorbing started as a dull ache, but it only lasted a moment. Intense pain shot up her arms and ripped down her chest into her abdomen. Tsunade gritted her teeth, keeping her palms firmly planted. Her heart crashed against her ribs erratically, and every gasp sent liquid fire into her lungs. She couldn't stop shaking, but she... absolutely... would... not... scream.

She didn't know how long the pain poured into her body. It seemed like eternity. But out of the corner of her blurred vision, Kakashi's figure stood on the rim of the circle, forming the remaining signs.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, the pain shut off. Tsunade remained where she was for a stunned moment, unable to catch her breath. But a part of her dazed mind remembered Kakashi was couldn't show weakness. Tsunade used the last of her strength to push to her feet. The sealing circle was gone. She'd done it. She closed her eyes—and her knees buckled. She didn't have the strength to stop herself from falling.

But instead of hitting the hard ground—strong arms, and a masculine scent, somehow mixing metal and pine, that was only Kakashi—caught her. "Tsunade! Can you hear me? Are you all right?"

The desperation in his voice... maybe he _did_ care about her more than just as his hokage. But no. It was more likely her dazed mind's wishful thinking. Tsunade forced her eyes open, and found Kakashi's concerned face hovering over hers. She sighed. "I am fine. I just—need to rest a moment."

She turned her face from Kakashi's chest, and spotted a flattish rock. "Help... help me to that rock."

Instead of helping her stand on her own, as she'd expected, Kakashi lifted her easily, and cradled her against his chest as he carried her to the rock. Before Tsunade could come up with an objection—or decide if she even wanted to—he set her gently on the rock.

Kakashi moved back, and crouched in front of her. He ran a gloved hand through his hair. "Do you think it worked?"

Tsunade gripped the edge of the rock to keep from falling on her face. Though the intense pain was gone, she could feel the aching presence of the chakra-feeding seal, gnawing away at her body. "Hai. Though we won't know if it's completely gone until we return to Yamagawa." She glanced at Kakashi's hands. His, too, were clenched. "How, ah, long did the sealing take?"

Kakashi looked away. "Two hours."

Two hours? Tsunade's lips twisted. No wonder she felt so drained and exhausted. It must have been agony for Kakashi to watch. She stood, locking her knees to keep from swaying. "I feel better now. We need to get back to village."

Kakashi's surprised gaze turned back to hers. "But... the seal. We can stay a little—"

"I said I'm fine." Tsunade strode toward the cliff, using all of her willpower to stay upright. She knew she was being hypocritical, especially as a medical-nin, but she couldn't bear to see Kakashi worry about her. So, she wouldn't show any weakness. She would prove to Kakashi she was fine, then they could both focus on what was important.

Finishing the mission.


	12. Consequences

Rarely did Kakashi let himself worry about, well, anything. He was content to lay back and let the day come to him. If there were problems, he dealt with them as they came up, or simply moved out of the way. He liked to say it was his strategy for avoiding premature gray hair, but most of his colleagues didn't find the irony amusing.

However, today Kakashi found himself pushed to his limit. In fact, now that he thought about it, that seemed to be happening a lot lately. He fought back the need to do something— _anything_ —as Tsunade fumbled her landing on the next tree branch, nearly losing her footing for the third time.

Every muscle in his body felt tight, like a coiled spring, the result of constantly holding himself back from leaping to Tsunade's side. It had taken all of his willpower not to tear her away from that accursed sealing circle. And now, the effects of it were clearly taking a toll on her. Even with her unmatched endurance, Tsunade couldn't keep going forever. Though she seemed determined to do just that.

But tonight, fate was on his side. Tsunade launched herself from the next branch, but one of her knees buckled, throwing her off balance, and she fell.

Kakashi's observation and reaction skills were widely known, and every one of his senses had been on high alert for the past five hours. Even the Yellow Flash of Konoha would have been impressed with the speed in which he shot down to Tsunade, caught her against his chest, and lightly landed on the forest floor.

Unfortunately, Tsunade didn't look nearly as impressed. In fact, the glare she gave Kakashi indicated she wanted to gouge his eyes out. "Did it not occur to you that I can land on my own two feet?"

Kakashi didn't acknowledge her. Instead, he turned in a slow circle, still cradling Tsunade—definitely _not_ thinking about how good it felt—and nodded. "Ah, I thought so. This looks like a good place to camp for the night."

Tsunade stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Kakashi tipped his chin to the north. "Those trees will provide adequate shelter, and if I clear away a bit of brush, we'll have enough room for—"

"Kakashi-kun." A slender, but strong, hand slid around the back of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Tsunade leaned in close, her face less than an inch from his jaw. "Put me down."

Kakashi slowly turned his head to meet the intimidating stare only Tsunade could give. He swallowed, fully intending to put her down... but his body betrayed him, and his gaze dropped to her very, _very_ , close lips.

A slap to the side of his head sent his ears ringing. The next thing Kakashi knew, Tsunade stood in front of him, scowling. Red tinged her cheeks, though he wasn't sure if it was from anger or something else.

"How many times does your hokage have to give you an order before you obey?" Tsunade huffed. "Honestly."

"My apologies. I'll start setting up the camp." Kakashi unslung his bag and crouched to unpack before Tsunade realized his victory. Slap to the head or not, he'd gotten what he wanted.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tsunade slid off her own bag, but she fumbled with the strap and dropped it. Kakashi stiffened. She quickly bent to reach for it, but he didn't miss her hands shaking before she clenched them into fists.

Kakashi straightened, and reached Tsunade in two strides. He picked up her pack, simultaneously scanning the clearing for... ah. A nice fallen log. He touched Tsunade's elbow with just enough pressure to propel her forward. "Maa, don't worry about setting up the camp." He stopped Tsunade next to the log, and handed her a random scroll he'd grabbed from her bag. "You should study before we get to Yamagawa tomorrow."

Tsunade jerked her arm away. "I'm _fine_." She waved the scroll in his face. "And _this_ is about the intricacies of child-bearing."

"Ah." Kakashi stared at her, lost. Why on earth would she—? "Are you... pregnant?"

"WHAT?!"

In that moment, Kakashi knew he'd made a grave mistake. And now that he thought about it, it was a rather idiotic thing to say. Obviously, Tsunade wasn't pregnant. "Ah, ha, ha. I was only joking, Tsunade-sama. Just ask my fellow shinobi. I often make jokes in poor taste. Sometimes I think Naruto is rubbing off on me."

To his complete and utter relief, Tsunade rolled her eyes and sighed, then smiled wryly, though it seemed strained. "Hai, well. Naruto does bring out the best in us."

But she'd distracted him from his purpose. Not to be deterred, Kakashi took Tsunade's trembling hand, and lifted it. He'd only meant to prove her need for rest, but Tsunade's sharp intake of breath as he touched her hand promptly scrambled his brains. He was left staring at her red nails, trying to recall... Another tremor shook her cold fingers, and Kakashi instinctively tightened his grip. "Maa, I'm no medical-nin, but I'm thinking this means you need rest." His eye bored into her wary, golden-brown ones. "Or am I wrong?"

Tsunade scowled and dropped her gaze. "Fine. Have it your way."

Kakashi released her hand, too surprised to reply as she sank down onto the log. Though he'd gotten what he wanted—again—he didn't feel much better. For Tsunade to give in so easily... she must be feeling worse than he'd thought.

He set up the camp in record time, glancing at Tsunade every few minutes. She sat quietly, apparently absorbed in her child-bearing scroll. But every once in a while, she would shiver and pull her haori closer.

Kakashi added more wood to the fire, but wasn't satisfied. He had to be missing something... then it came to him. They'd been eating hardly more than rations the past week. Getting real, warm food in Tsunade's stomach would surely help. Time to practice another one of Minato-sensei's lessons.

Kakashi stepped out of camp long enough to gather a few edible roots and kill a large rabbit. By the time he had it cleaned and quartered, night had set in. Tsunade glanced up when he returned, but she watched in silence until he pulled out his tin of ichimi togarashi and carefully tapped the red power into one of his metal measuring spoons.

"What are you doing?" Tsunade's furrowed brow and the careful pronunciation of each word made her doubt clear.

Kakashi dumped in the teaspoon of ichimi togarashi before answering. "Making soup."

"I can see that." Tsunade rolled her eyes again and flicked a finger at his spoons. "But what are those?"

"They're measuring spoons." Kakashi tried not to sound defensive, but it didn't work. "Haven't you used them?"

"Well, I... I'm not the best at cooking, myself." Tsunade shifted, as if embarrassed. "The last time I tried, it turned into a lump of charcoal. Nawaki wanted me to make his favorite meal, and needless to say, it didn't turn out well." She cleared her throat. "How did you learn how to cook, then?"

Kakashi tore his gaze from her, and sniffed the bubbling contents of his small pot. Not bad, considering he hadn't cooked on a mission in years. "Minato-sensei taught me." He shrugged, ignoring the prick of pain the words brought. "I'm not half-bad at soup. But Obito... he could make anything."

"Mmm." Tsunade folded her arms, watching pensively as Kakashi let the soup bubble and gave the occasional stir. "When we return to Yamagawa... there's no need to tell the villagers about the chakra seal."

Kakashi grunted agreement. But he glanced up at the tension radiating from Tsunade, sensing the reason behind it. "And what about Naruto?"

Tsunade was focused intently on the leaf-strewn ground under her feet. "He doesn't need to know either. I don't want to cause him any... pointless worry. I'll have it taken care of soon enough."

Kakashi frowned. But perhaps it was the best course of action. Naruto did tend to be reckless when those he cared about were at risk. "As you wish."

Tsunade only nodded, her carefully blank expression giving nothing away. "Good."

Several moments of silence later, Kakashi deemed the soup done. He ladled out a good portion into one of their traveling bowls, and carried it to Tsunade. She took the bowl, but stared at the contents instead of eating it. "Why are you doing this?"

Kakashi shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. "What do you mean?"

Tsunade's golden-brown eyes speared him accusingly. "I _mean_ , you don't usually make soup from scratch for your comrades on missions, do you?"

"I..." Sweat dampened Kakashi's palms. What could she mean? Had she figured out how he felt about her? He bit the inside of his cheek, but the pain didn't do anything to clear his head. The only question was, did Tsunade see him as a boy with a foolish crush? Or did she—

"... and I don't need special treatment. Understand?" Tsunade's sharp voice penetrated his thoughts, bringing them to a screeching halt.

Ah.

Kakashi fervently thanked the shinobi gods he hadn't said anything. But his mistake vanished from his mind as he focused on Tsunade. She was waiting for his answer, lips pressed tightly, but sweat beaded her forehead, revealing her fatigue. Kakashi's gut twisted. But he understood. Just like him, Tsunade hated showing or admitting weakness. Though perhaps for different reasons. After all, as the new hokage, she had more to prove. But... he wanted her to trust him, weaknesses or not. So, he crouched next to her, prepared to tread carefully.

"Maa, you're one of the strongest people I know, Tsunade-sama. But there's no fault in admitting weakness, especially to those who care about you. Sometimes... you can't be strong on your own. And that's what friends are for." He gave a wry chuckle. "I know from experience."

Tsunade's face softened. But instead of answering, she lowered her gaze to the soup and lifted the spoon. "Hmm, let me guess. You're also known in Konoha for your mastery of soup-making."

Kakashi smiled under his mask. Tsunade's pride was offering the only thank-you she could manage. Very well. He'd play along. "Reserve judgement until you taste it. It's been a few years, so I'm a little rusty."

Tsunade's eyes widened, but she'd already taken her first bite. She swallowed, and her eyebrows lifted in amazement. "It's... good."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, secretly pleased. "Maa, you don't have to sound so surprised. Obito asked Minato-sensei for a lesson in how to get a girl to like him, and dragged me into it. This is what I got out of it."

"Ah, then this is perfect." Tsunade lifted a finger, like a sensei giving a lecture. "Use this for your someone in Konoha. Make her a one-on-one meal. Show her how much she means to you."

If Tsunade could have done anything to snap him out of the moment, it was that. Kakashi stood, frustration threatening to boil over. Why did she have to be so pleased at the thought of him with someone else? Couldn't she see... He hardly ever went out of his way for others, even his friends. That was just his way. But not Tsunade. In fact, he'd done more for her these past few days than he'd ever done for anyone.

Couldn't she see that she was special to him?

Kakashi clamped his eyes shut and exhaled. He wasn't being fair. Tsunade didn't know, because he couldn't tell her. It wasn't right, these feelings he had for her. It wasn't appropriate.

It was impossible.

Which was why he instantly regretted the moment he opened his eyes, gaze fastening on Tsunade. The sight of her; beautiful, and strong, and everything he could never have, clashed with the emotions roiling through him. He cracked. And a single, whispered sentence slipped through. "As I just did for you?"

* * *

The next morning, Kakashi strode in silence next to Tsunade toward Yamagawa. So far, she'd acted like nothing had happened last night. Though he had caught her glancing at him with an odd expression more than once. Not that he could blame her. After his unexpected statement last night, they hadn't spoken until this morning. Tsunade clearly hadn't known what to say—nor had Kakashi—and she had gone to bed as soon as she finished her soup.

"I wanted to, ah, clear one thing up," Tsunade said suddenly, as they walked through beams of sunlight shining through the trees.

Kakashi tensed, hands remaining in his pockets. Here it was. She'd ask him to explain what, exactly, he'd meant last night, and he would have to lie. And if she saw through his lie... he didn't have a plan b. "Mmm?"

Tsunade kept her gaze straight ahead. "The child-bearing scroll. I only—that is—I've been reading it in preparation for... whenever we have pregnancy complications in Konoha. Since I don't have much experience in that area."

"Ah." She'd been thinking about _that_? Kakashi blinked, unsure of how to react. He should say something to reassure her, though he wasn't entirely sure what. "Well... neither do I."

Tsunade looked amused. "Then perhaps you should read the scroll too."

Kakashi scratched his neck uncomfortably. "Maa, I don't think I'd be very good at it."

"Child-bearing?" Tsunade's mouth contorted, like she was trying hard not to laugh. "Fortunately for you, that's impossible."

"No." Kakashi's face felt hot and itchy under his mask. He cleared his throat. He'd never confessed this to anyone. "Being a—a father."

Tsunade's forehead furrowed, and her smile vanished. But when she finally looked up at him, compassion and understanding shadowed her honey eyes. "I see."

Kakashi nodded and dropped his gaze to path underfoot. Yes, she likely did see. After all, she'd read his file. The shameful death of his own father. Failing Obito. Killing Rin. Joining the ANBU. Failing Minato-sensei and Kushina. Those were acts that better fit an assassin, not a father. He knew more than anyone that there were some people who should never have a family. And he was one of those people.

Tsunade grabbed his arm, stopping them in the middle of the road. He met Tsunade's intense gaze reluctantly, and her fingers tightened. "I see that you have all the qualities to be a great father."

Kakashi tensed. She couldn't mean that. But in the depths of her honey irises, he could see that she _did_ mean it. He swallowed hard; struggling, but powerless to look away. If Tsunade believed it... then maybe—

"Tsunade-baachan! Kakashi-sensei!"

Unable to sift through his churning emotions, Kakashi turned from Tsunade in a mixture of relief and disappointment, and her hand dropped from his arm. Ahead, Naruto sprinted through Yamagawa's gate and down the path toward them. Kakashi blinked. When had they gotten this close to the village?

"You did it, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto skidded to a stop, and tugged Tsunade's haori sleeve, grinning. "All the villagers were healed yesterday!"

Tsunade's eyes widened, and she gripped both of Naruto's shoulders. "Truly?"

At his nod, Tsunade's expression crumpled, and she pulled Naruto into a tight hug. His face scrunched, but when Tsunade didn't let go, he patted her back awkwardly. "It's all right, Tsunade-baachan. I knew you could do it!"

Kakashi looked toward the village, so not to intrude. Three figures walked toward them; Fuhi, and two of the medics who had worked with Tsunade. "Looks like we have company."

Tsunade straightened. Naruto smoothed his rumpled orange jacket, but he looked pleased with the reaction his news had brought. Kakashi smirked at his genin's flushed cheeks, then directed his attention back to Fuhi and the medics. He wouldn't mind being hugged by Tsunade either. Not that he would ever admit it.

Fuhi halted in front of Tsunade, and bowed low. "We can't tell you how grateful we are for your help, Tsunade-hime. The entire village thanks you. We are forever in your—and Konoha's—debt."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Had they forgotten they owed Konoha payment for the mission? Perhaps Fuhi hadn't known about it.

Fuhi cleared his throat. "I'm afraid we are unable to pay the mission fee. But if there is anything else we can do..."

"Fear not. Konoha understands your predicament." Tsunade inclined her head, but she had a gleam in her eyes. "However, there _is_ one thing. Would you happen to have any sake?"

Fuhi nodded vigorously. "Of course, Hime."

"Excellent." Tsunade brightened, and looked toward the village. "And perhaps... a gambling house?"

"Indeed. A few of the villagers are there now. Perhaps to get their minds off things."

Kakashi eyed Tsunade. The mention of a gambling house seemed to have rejuvenated her even more than his soup and a night's rest. Still... "Ah, Tsunade-sama. I hate to bring it up, but do you have any money?"

Tsunade glared at him. "Does that matter?"

Kakashi blinked. He wasn't an expert on gambling—preferring to save his money for more useful things, like the latest copy of _Icha Icha_ —but he was fairly certain it required money. "Well..."

Tsunade tilted her head, eyes narrowed. "Tell me, Kakashi-kun. Have you ever gone gambling before?"

Kakashi grunted. "Maa, not really."

Tsunade looked more than a little affronted. "Then you haven't lived!" She grabbed Kakashi's arm, and turned to Fuhi. "Take us to the gambling house, please."

Kakashi couldn't help a snort of amusement, but his curiosity got the better of him, and he let Tsunade drag him toward the village.

Naruto stomped after them, grumbling loudly. "Hey! Don't go with her, Kakashi-sensei! She has terrible luck! Why are you being such irresponsible adults?" He clamped a hand over his pocket, adding fiercely, "And I'm not giving you Gama-chan, Tsunade-baachan, so don't ask!"

Tsunade shot a withering glare over her shoulder. "Enough, Naruto-kun! Go wait at the camp for us."

A few minutes later, Fuhi stopped them at the gambling house, and Kakashi studied the run-down building dubiously. But Tsunade pulled him inside with a sly grin. "Come on, I'll make a gambler out of you yet."

Three hours later, Kakashi patted his full pockets cheerfully as they walked down the dark streets of Yamagawa toward their camp. Who knew his Sharingan would come in handy while gambling? He glanced at Tsunade, intending to tell her he may have misjudged gambling as a whole. Maybe even admit he'd enjoyed himself.

But Tsunade was frowning, gaze distant, and her arms folded tightly across her stomach. Now that he thought about it, she'd been strangely quiet since they'd started winning. "Maa, why the long face? We did well."

Tsunade blinked, but her unsettled expression didn't change. "I... have a bad feeling."

Kakashi had learned long ago to trust his gut. And Tsunade, with her vast years of experience, would have even more reason to trust hers. But before he could ask about it, Tsunade shook her head. "Never mind. Let's focus on getting back to Konoha."

If she didn't want to talk about it, he couldn't force her. So, Kakashi said the only thing he could. "Hai."


	13. Ambushed

Tsunade leaped through the trees, following Kakashi's dark figure and Naruto's bright-orange-ness. When they'd left Yamagawa that morning, she'd stated she would take the rear, and they hadn't objected.

Though the mission would be officially finished once they reached Konoha, she couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that it was far from over. And not just because the chakra-feeding seal was still inside of her, like a hungry maw that would never be satisfied. Tsunade sighed. So far, she was at a loss on how to nullify it.

She'd managed to store her remaining chakra not already in her Strength of a Hundred seal into a small reserve where she could draw out a little every day, or use in a fight if absolutely necessary. But even though she'd been able to protect her chakra, the disease had been free to ravage the rest of her body. Thankfully, her Senju resilience was holding out so far, and she'd been feeling much better than the first day she'd had the seal. But it didn't change the fact that she was getting weaker by the day, and she had no way to use her chakra to heal her organs and other systems.

Based on how her body was functioning so far, she estimated she had about four or five weeks before it killed her. And even if she could spend every second of that time in her medical lab, it wasn't much time to figure out a cure for something no one had experienced before. All in all, it wasn't looking good.

Tsunade firmly shoved the thoughts away. She wasn't going to dwell on it until making certain decisions became necessary.

What concerned her more was whoever had created it. She had her suspicions, but there was no point in pursuing them until she had more facts. Once they got back to Konoha, she would make finding the creator a priority. Possibly even put Kakashi in charge of it. He was smart and calculating, and he had the seen the consequences firsthand. Besides, she didn't want him around when the effects of the seal got worse.

Tsunade groaned inwardly. Who was she fooling? She just didn't want Kakashi around, period. Why on earth had she dragged him along to the gambling house last night? She shouldn't want to spend more time with him, yet... she couldn't help a smile at the memory. It _had_ been rather enjoyable to share one of her passions with him, especially when he'd gotten so into it he even used his Sharingan. He'd looked so adorable, silver hair flopping over his forehead as he'd leaned forward, fixated intently on the dice—enough. These thoughts weren't helping her predicament.

She bit the inside of her cheek. Because in spite of her best efforts, her feelings hadn't gone away. When he'd caught her—and held her—on their way back from the sealing circle, as if she was something precious, something he wanted to protect—her heart had felt like it was going to fly out of her chest... and a sudden and terrifying desire to kiss him had seized her. Only the remembrance of his _someone_ waiting in Konoha had saved her.

Except... Tsunade clamped her eyes shut. No. She shouldn't think about it. But her mind betrayed her, as it had been doing without fail for the past two days, and replayed Kakashi's whispered words over and over again.

" _As I just did for you?"_

As if he'd done those things for her... to show that he cared about her. But how could he say such a thing if he had feelings for someone else? It wasn't—

A kunai flashed up from the forest below. Tsunade shifted to the side, and slipped her finger through the ring pommel as the kunai shot past. She spun, and hurled it forward to Kakashi and Naruto. "Kakashi!"

His eye widened in understanding as the kunai sailed past him. They each halted on their consecutive branches, and even Naruto had the sense to keep his mouth shut. Kakashi held up two fingers, and flicked them downward. Two of them confront the enemy, one stays in the treetops. Tsunade and Naruto nodded.

Kakashi stabbed his third finger at Naruto, who scowled in answer, then Kakashi dropped down through the trees, Tsunade right behind him.

A tall, stony-faced ninja waited for them on the forest floor. Tsunade studied him. She didn't recognize him, but he had a hostile air about him. If he was confronting them face-to-face, he must have more companions hidden nearby.

"Sadai," Kakashi greeted the ninja neutrally. "Maa, I wondered if you would turn up again. Get lost?"

Tsunade lifted her eyebrows. This was the ninja who had ambushed them with two others on their way to Yamagawa? He looked nothing like the young, long-haired ninja she'd seen after Kakashi and Naruto defeated him.

Sadai spread his wide hands. "I admit, it took me a while to find you, but I succeeded."

Tsunade propped her fists on her hips. Did Sadai really intend to waste their time again? "If you think you have a chance against one of the Sannin and Kakashi of the Sharingan, then you're more foolish than I thought. But we'll gladly give you another beating, if that's what you came for."

Sadai's stiff face cracked with a sneer. "Such arrogance." He raised a fist. "You can try."

Six more ninja dropped from the trees, surrounding them. Kakashi shifted to stand back-to-back with Tsunade, forming the sign for shadow clones, and two appeared on either side of him. He tilted his head. "Sadai has strong armor."

Tsunade smiled. Perhaps, but he hadn't fought her yet. "We'll see about that. You and Naruto have the others?"

"Hai." The answering smile in Kakashi's voice warmed her. "Have fun."

She intended to. It had been a while since she'd been able to punch something. Tsunade ran toward Sadai, throwing a couple of shuriken to get an idea of his speed. In spite of his size, the large ninja dodged them easily.

He grinned, and formed a few quick signs. "You'll have to do better than that, Baachan."

Anger heated her veins. Only Naruto could get away with calling her that. She would enjoy smashing his teeth in.

A wall of stone erupted from the ground in front of her, thickening and growing higher the closer she got. Most ninja would leap over the wall before it got too high, but Sadai would be ready for that. And Tsunade wasn't most ninja. Tsunade continued straight for the wall, and pulled her fist back. She thrust forward just as she reached it, her fist connecting with the rock at the height of her momentum. The wall split to the top, and exploded, sending chucks of rubble flying.

Perhaps she'd overdone it. A little.

Tsunade launched herself straight through the cloud of dust and debris. Sadai stood on the other side, face slack with shock. "How...?! You—"

Tsunade's kick connected with his square chin. Sadai flew back, disintegrating pieces of armor falling behind him. He slammed into a tree a hundred yards back, and the trunk split down the center, crashing down to the ground. Sadai, now a young, long-haired ninja, crumpled at the base of what was now a split stump.

Tsunade landed in a crouch and straightened. He wouldn't be getting up any time soon. And even better, she hadn't had to use any chakra. She turned, just as Kakashi sent the last ninja up into the treetops with a wind jutsu. She started toward him and Naruto. "And here I thought it would take you at least two minutes."

Kakashi brushed off his flak vest. "Maa, we can't take all of the credit. Your little display took out a couple with those flying boulders."

"Hai, Tsunade-baachan! You were awesome!" Naruto grinned at her, but she didn't miss his nervous glance at the decimated wall. "But so were we! Right, Kakashi-sensei? We took them out easy!"

Kakashi's eye crinkled, and he ruffled Naruto's spiky hair. "Ay, Naruto-kun. You did well, just like a true shinobi of Konoha."

Naruto punched the air. "Hai!"

Tsunade smiled and glanced back to where Sadai still lay. "I hate to interrupt this touching moment, but we should interrogate Sadai if he's still conscious."

Fortunately, he was. Tsunade stood over him, her arms crossed. Kakashi remained behind her, keeping a lookout, and Naruto crouched in front of Sadai, scowling. "Why'd you come after us again, eh?"

Sadai's bleeding lip curled. "Not you." His hateful glare fixed on Tsunade. "Just her."

* * *

Tsunade led the way through the forest, each step pounding her irritation into the ground. Who would have thought one of her past debtors would be so insane as to send mercenary-nins after her?

Sadai had claimed his employer was a Lord Mao, who happened to be very angry that his money hadn't been paid back yet, and had ordered Sadai to bring Tsunade by force. Tsunade didn't exactly remember him, as she'd borrow money from a lot of people, but the name left her with a bad feeling. At any rate, sending killers after her was crossing a line. When they reached this Lord Mao, she was going to give him a piece of her mind.

Kakashi walked in the middle with Sadai over one shoulder, and Naruto groaned loudly as he slouched in the back of their procession. "Of course, Tsunade-baachan owes lots of money to someone who wants to kill us. Why can't we just go to Konoha?" He sighed sadly. "I could be eating ramen at Ichiraku's by now."

Tsunade was in no mood for Naruto's whining. But it _was_ her fault they were on this side trip, so she chose not to say anything instead of snapping at him. Still, the brat could show a little respect to his hokage.

"Maa, remember we are Konoha shinobi, Naruto," Kakashi said evenly, surprising her. "It's our duty to protect the hokage. This lord sent a mercenary-nin after our hokage, so we must deal with him. Hopefully, we can pay the debt and it will be settled."

Tsunade winced inwardly. Obviously, Kakashi had no idea how much money she used to borrow for her gambling exploits. And, she thought guiltily, she'd given Shizune more than a few gray hairs because of it.

"You're right, Kakashi-sensei. We can't let this lord mess around with Konoha and Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto puffed his chest importantly, and Tsunade snorted at his sudden change in opinion.

"Looks like we're here." Kakashi nodded to the giant home looming ahead, on the outskirts of an equally large village.

Tsunade vaguely remembered the red pillars and gold dragons decorating the walls. Had she been invited here for some kind of party? Somehow, she didn't think it had been the best experience. Perhaps something had happened for this lord to dislike her so much. Mao... he _did_ sound familiar.

They stopped at the gaudy gold and yellow doors. Gold and yellow... It all rushed back, and Tsunade groaned at the memory.

Kakashi and Naruto both looked at her. She sighed. "I remembered what happened here. It, well... let's just say it wasn't good. And," she added fiercely, "Mao is a cad."

Kakashi tilted his head curiously, and Naruto blurted, "What happened?"

Tsunade chewed her lip. She'd rather not recount it, but they deserved to know something. "I was here for some kind of party. I only came because, well, Mao was rich and I needed money. Besides, he had free sake. Most everyone was drunk, and I think I insulted his interior decorating." She scowled. "He then compared me and my, er, chest to something I would rather not repeat. So, I threw my sesame roll at him and gave him a black eye. Everything went downhill from there."

At that moment, the door opened to reveal a servant in a long red kimono. She bowed. "Welcome. Mao-sama has been expecting you."

"Has he?" Tsunade's irritation spiked, and she strode in past the servant. More like he'd been expecting her corpse. She stopped at the sliding door to Lord Mao's entertaining quarters, and exhaled slowly. As much as she wanted to give Mao another black eye, she was the hokage now, and anything she did reflected on Konoha. She had to tread cautiously. But if the chance presented itself...

Kakashi appeared at her side before she opened the screen, Sadai still over his shoulder. "If you allow me, I would like to do the talking. This man is beneath you. Besides, we jōnin can be quite... convincing."

Tsunade considered. That might be a good idea. After all, Copy Ninja Kakashi was well known. And the possibility of losing her cool was very likely. Kakashi taking the lead would help temper that, which was probably why he'd suggested it. "Very well. The sooner we're out of here, the better."

Kakashi nodded. "Hai."

With that, Tsunade shoved the door open, and they walked in to meet Lord Mao.

* * *

Based on Tsunade's rather unflattering description of their encounter, Kakashi had expected Lord Mao to look similar to something like, well, a pig.

But Mao resembled more of a... stick. A generously-oiled, mahogany stick. The tall, thin lord sat cross-legged on a massive red cushion at the end of the room. His neatly greased and twisted mustache drooped on either side of a pinched mouth. His skin was dark and weathered, as if he'd spent a lot of time outdoors. Or possibly smoking. Kakashi thought the latter more likely.

Mao stared at them through half-lidded eyes. Though Kakashi often took the same expression himself, he suddenly found it very annoying. And sure enough, Mao produced an extremely long pipe from his sleeve, and proceeded to take a long drought before speaking in a bored tone through the wisps of smoke. "Tsunade Senju. I'm surprised to see you... alive."

A muscle in Tsunade's jaw pulsed, but she didn't answer. Apparently, she was taking Kakashi's offer to heart. Though he'd been keeping a careful eye on her since they'd left the sealing circle, she hadn't shown any signs of worsening. Perhaps she'd found a way to nullify the seal and had neglected to inform him. He'd have to ask her later.

Kakashi stepped forward and dropped the unconscious Sadai in front of Mao. "Maa, does this belong to you? He attacked our hokage in the forest. Surely, someone such as yourself wouldn't provoke Konoha in such a way."

Mao's eye twitched. "I wasn't aware the lady is now the hokage. But hokage or not, she owes me money."

Kakashi shrugged. "Then we will pay it back. How much?"

When Mao named the sum, Kakashi's jaw dropped. Even Naruto was too stunned to react. Tsunade flushed red and stalked to Mao, breaking her silence. "Impossible! I would never—Where is the IOU?"

Mao sighed, and waved his hand. The servant in the red kimono hurried out of the shadows, and handed a document to Tsunade. Her skin paled to match the white of the paper. "It can't be. Even I have never been that drunk."

"That also includes damage expenses. And three years of interest." Mao blew a long stream of smoke into Tsunade's face. "The three years I haven't received my money back."

The paper crumpled in Tsunade's white-knuckled fist. Kakashi quickly inserted himself between Tsunade and Mao before things got ugly. "I'm afraid we don't have that amount right now. But you seem like a reasonable man. Is there anything we can do to gain more time? Without interest."

Mao smirked. "Fortunately for you, I _am_ a reasonable man." He stroked his mustache. "I'll consider it... if a few of my fields are fertilized and planted. I'm afraid they've been neglected recently, due to unforeseen circumstances."

His servant, still standing nearby, shifted uneasily. "Mao-sama, are you certain—"

"Consider it done." There were too many unknown variables for Kakashi's liking, but planting fields sounded simple enough—if a bit humiliating—which was most likely why Mao had given it to them. But Mao, as distasteful as he was, was still a lord in the Land of Fire. And right now, protecting Tsunade's reputation was the most important thing. Besides... he hadn't missed the servant's reaction, and his gut was telling him something was off.

But Tsunade and Naruto were staring at him in disbelief, which would likely turn to outrage very soon.

Mao blinked in surprise at Kakashi's quick agreement, but he recovered and leered down at Tsunade. "I'm looking forward to it, my lady. I hear it is hot work out in the fields, so don't be afraid to strip down. I want a good view."

It took all of Kakashi's willpower not to launch himself at Mao. Tsunade grabbed his arm, probably as an anchor to hold herself and her temper back. Her grip was so tight, it felt like her fingers would imprint permanently on his bicep. But Kakashi didn't care. In fact, he admired her self-control.

Rage glinted in Tsunade's eyes, but she only ground out, "Let's get out of here." She grabbed Naruto's arm as well, and stormed out with Mao's cackles echoing behind them.

But as soon as the door shut, Tsunade turned on Kakashi. "What was that?!" Her glare was hot enough to set fire to a thousand torches. "Planting a field? I cannot— _will_ not—do any such thing for that pig."

The door opened and the servant stepped through, saving Kakashi. She bowed again. "Mao-sama has a room prepared for you. Please follow me."

Unfortunately, they reached the room all too soon. Even more unfortunately, it only had one bed. They stood, staring at it for a long moment, but before Kakashi could volunteer to sleep on the floor, Tsunade took one of the pillows from the bed, and sat under the window with a sigh. "I'll take the floor."

"All right!" Naruto jumped on the large bed and bounced; his spirits apparently returned.

Kakashi jammed his hands into his pockets. "I'll sleep on the floor, Tsunade-sama. You take the bed. It's only right."

"No. I dragged you both into this." Tsunade leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes in resignation. "It's only right I take the floor. You two share the bed."

The thought of sleeping in a bed while Tsunade was on the floor flooded Kakashi with guilt. What kind of shinobi was he if he let his hokage take such a position? Though she was more likely to agree to a compromise, he wasn't stupid enough to suggest they share the bed, though the space was plenty big enough. He preferred to stay intact. "Maa, it's no problem. I insist you take the bed."

"Ay, Kakashi-sensei! Quit arguing! Tsunade-baachan wants us to have the bed, so honor her wishes." Naruto sprawled spread-eagle on the mattress, grinning from ear to ear. "Ahhhh."

Tsunade's gaze fixed on Kakashi, her beautiful honey eyes pinning him to the floor as always. She fiddled with one of her tails, twisting blonde hair around her finger. "I'm, ah, sorry for losing my temper earlier. You made the right decision, and you were only trying to help me. I suppose... I still have to get used to the idea of my every action reflecting Konoha as the hokage."

Kakashi couldn't help a slight smile, and was very glad, not for the first time, a mask hid his face. "Well, we both do what we must for Konoha." Sympathy prompted him to add, "But I agree, Mao is a pig."

At last, Tsunade smiled. "I _am_ sorry for getting all of us into this mess." She sighed, and loosened her hair from the ties, so that it fell over her shoulder in a golden wave. "We should already be back in Konoha right now. Poor Shizune."

Kakashi rubbed his chin, pointedly fixing his gaze on anything besides Tsunade's silky hair. "Being here may not be in vain. While we were in audience with Mao, I sensed something was off. Either with Mao himself, or something here. I think he is hiding something."

Tsunade's expression lightened. "And if it happens to be something rather incriminating... he might have to be removed of his position. Then my debt would no longer apply."

That seemed a little far-fetched, but they could hope. Kakashi allowed a nod. "Perhaps."

Naruto groaned loudly from the bed. "Ay, are you two done talking? I'm trying to get some sleep."

Kakashi blinked. He'd nearly forgotten about his student. Had Tsunade really distracted him that much? He stepped over to the bed and gave one corner of the blanket a sharp yank, so that Naruto rolled to one end with a yelp. Kakashi wrapped the other end tightly around Naruto, effectively trapping him in a cocoon. A little sloppy, but not bad, considering he'd recreated it from a twenty-year-old memory, when his father used to wrap him the same way if he got too rowdy before bed.

Naruto wriggled frantically, but couldn't move more than a few inches. "Hey! What are you doing, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi hefted Naruto over his shoulder. "You're sleeping on the floor with me, gaki."

Tsunade, who had been looking thoroughly amused, now crossed her arms with a scowl. "I told you, I'm sleeping here. Besides, if you were on a mission with Guy or—or Asuma, you wouldn't object to them taking the floor."

Probably true, but he didn't harbor certain, strong feelings for Guy or Asuma, either. Kakashi cleared his throat, desperately trying to clear his mind as well. Now was definitely _not_ the time to have that on his mind. And he still needed to answer Tsunade. "Maa, but they also aren't my hokage. I don't feel right about it."

Kakashi set the now-limp Naruto on the floor, and realized his spiky-haired student was already asleep. He raised an innocent eyebrow at Tsunade. "See? I think we'll be fine."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, but she threw her pillow at him in answer. Kakashi caught it against his chest—barely—and force of it almost knocked him backwards. He sighed. Tsunade certainly knew how to make her feelings clear. Kakashi leaned back against the pillow as Tsunade walked to the bed, and placed his hands behind his head. He added slyly, "Besides, I want to be sure you get enough rest for our work day tomorrow."

The next pillow hit Kakashi's head and bright stars flashed across his vision. He couldn't help a grin as he tucked it under Naruto's head, then settled back on his own pillow. For the first time in fifteen years, no memories darkened his thoughts when he closed his eyes to sleep. Instead, he dreamed he was running his fingers through silky golden strands that smelled of white jasmine and a hint of sake.


	14. Old Threats

Kakashi had thought the morning couldn't get any worse.

He'd woken with Naruto's foot in his face. Or, more accurately, shoved up against his cheek and entirely too close to his sensitive nose. Too tired to do anything more than grunt, Kakashi flopped his head to the right. And stared in horror. His fingers were inextricably tangled in the silky golden wave that was Tsunade's hair. She had moved close enough to the edge in the night that her arm and hair draped off the mattress. And, somehow, his hand had found it. Mercifully, Tsunade was still snoring softly, oblivious to his predicament.

This was bad. More than bad. Kakashi tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry. He tried to ease his fingers free of the blonde strands, but they only tightened. He breathed out a silent curse. Why, oh, why, wasn't there a jutsu for untangling hair?

Tsunade mumbled, and abruptly rolled over. Kakashi threw himself forward with her movement, using all his skill to catch himself lightly on the mattress, so that he hovered over Tsunade, his braced legs and left arm straddling her sleeping form without touching her. He didn't even dare to breathe.

This was _so_ bad.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto sat up, staring at him blearily as he scratched his head. Kakashi shook his head violently, but Naruto only squinted. "Why are you on top of Tsunade-baachan?"

Tsunade's eyes flew open, locking on Kakashi's. In that moment, his life flashed before him, and he suddenly realized he wasn't ready to die.

The next few seconds seemed to last an eternity as Tsunade stared at him. She blinked slowly in confusion. "Kakashi, what are you...?" She shot up, scooting back against the remaining pillows, her confusion vanishing in a burst of rage. Kakashi automatically lunged forward to save her hair from being yanked from the roots—and was met with Tsunade's fist to his face.

Thanks to years of dodging shuriken and kunai, Kakashi was able to shift enough that only Tsunade's knuckles grazed his jaw. But the force of it still knocked him to the other side of the bed, and Tsunade yelped in pain as he dragged her hair with him.

Chaos ensued. Tsunade cursing Kakashi with every word ever invented, and coming up with new ones. Kakashi desperately trying to explain while unsuccessfully twisting and tugging his fingers, and Tsunade's curses grew more and more colorful with every pull on her hair.

Then Naruto leaped up onto the bed, brandishing a gleaming kunai. "There's only one way to fix this, Tsunade-baachan!"

Tsunade's honey eyes flew wide in horror, and she threw herself back, right into Kakashi's chest, nearly knocking him off the bed. "No! Keep that kunai away from me, Naruto, or you will wish you were never born!"

In spite of the still very-likely possibility that he would die, Kakashi couldn't help a chuckle at the ridiculousness of their situation. "Maa, to think. Two elite ninja can't untangle a bit of hair."

Tsunade swiveled to glare at him, but the twitch of her mouth gave away her own suppressed amusement. "Shut up and get your hand out of my hair."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Kakashi focused intently on his fingers and carefully loosening Tsunade's blonde strands. Anything to distract from the fact that her shoulder was still pressed against his chest.

Tsunade stiffened. Clearly, she had realized their position too. But she made no attempt to move, perhaps thinking it would be easier for him to detangle them if she was closer. Kakashi swallowed. Though if he were honest, he didn't want her to move away. As they sat in silence, the tension in the room grew so thick he could almost taste it. Naruto had moved away to pack his bag, which didn't help matters in the least.

So, Kakashi fixed all of his attention on the knotted strands. At last, he was able to pull his hand free. "All done, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade immediately slid off the bed, and smoothed her hair as she cleared her throat. "Good. We need to get going if we're going to get any of Mao's fields done today." She didn't ask how Kakashi's hand had gotten entangled in her hair in the first place, and he accepted the silent agreement. This never happened.

But he wasn't going to forget the feel of her silky hair in his fingers any time soon.

If Kakashi had thought the day couldn't get any worse after the incident that morning, he was wrong. They all stared at the horrible sight that greeted them on the outskirts of the fields. Kakashi tugged his mask higher, but it did nothing to dispel the stench. He estimated the pile of manure to be at least eight feet high, then wondered why he'd bothered. It wasn't going to make the daunting task ahead any better.

Naruto gagged, his blue eyes watering. "I—I think I shouldn't have had breakfast."

Tsunade turned to Kakashi, her stare clearly stating: _I will kill you._ "We will not speak of this to anyone."

"Agreed." Kakashi was beginning to deeply regret the arrangement he'd made with Mao. He tore his gaze from the fly-buzzing mound, and spotted a two-wheel cart and shovel. "Well... we'd better get started, eh?"

Two hours later, Kakashi panted as he pulled the last cartload of dung up the hill to the field. Sweat dripped down his back and chest, and he'd stripped down to his undershirt long ago. He stopped the cart at the edge of the rice field next to Tsunade, who had pulled her hair back in a high ponytail to keep it out of her face, as well as stripped off her haori and rolled up her pants to stand in the calf-deep water. Her arms were muddied from fingertips to elbows from planting rice sprouts.

In spite of his exhaustion, Kakashi couldn't help a slight grin. All in all, his hokage was quite adorable. A thought which he promptly shoved away with a flicker of guilt. How many times did he have to remind himself he didn't have the right to think such things about Tsunade?

Tsunade straightened, and swiped her forehead with the back of her wrist, leaving behind a smear of... something. "Last load?"

"Hai." Should he say something about her face? The likelihood of Tsunade reacting in violence was high, so he decided against it. Besides, they were both already covered with sweat, dirt, and other questionable substances.

Kakashi's gaze drifted to the back of field, where Naruto and several shadow clones also stood calf-deep in water at the far corner, scattering manure. He groaned inwardly. Once he and Naruto finished fertilizing, they would join Tsunade in planting. Acres upon acres of planting. Kakashi focused back on Tsunade to remind himself why he was doing this. Except she was staring back at him, honey eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I have something on my face, don't I?" Tsunade lifted a finger before he could answer. "Don't try denying it. I saw it in your eye." She walked toward him, and Kakashi fought a strong urge to back away. "So, you weren't going to say anything? You were just going to let me walk around like this?"

"Ah..." Was this her way of getting revenge for his stupid agreement with Mao?

Tsunade stopped in front of him, and only then did he catch the gleam in her eyes. She was teasing him? "Kakashi-kun, this is what you do when someone has something... unwanted on their face." By her too-sweet tone, he already knew he was in trouble. She leaned in close, studying his face. "Ah, look. You have something right—" her other hand flashed up and smeared mud down his face— "there."

What the—Kakashi staggered back and gagged at the awful smell. Apparently, the mud was mixed with manure, because the stench filled his nose and mouth, and dampness soaked through his mask. Blindly, he somehow made it into the water, and began madly splashing and scrubbing his face.

At last, he washed off every last trace of mud. But his wet and clammy mask clung to his face, and the smell permeated the fabric. Kakashi straightened to stare at Tsunade in disbelief, who was doing a poor job of hiding her amusement.

Tsunade's smirk was more than smug. "Ah, sorry." She didn't sound sorry in the slightest. "Now we're even. Let's get back to work."

She wasn't getting out of this so easily. Two could play at this game. Kakashi tucked his hands behind his back, and began forming signs for a water jutsu. "Maa, I'm afraid we're not even. I never rectified my mistake. You still have a bit of something on your face, do you not? I'll clean it off for you."

Tsunade's eyes widened, but his jutsu was already finished. A blast of water hit Tsunade in the face, and knocked her back into the field. Completely drenched and sitting in the muddied water of the field, Tsunade gaped at him.

He hadn't exactly intended to knock her down, but... Kakashi spread his hands. "There. Now we're even. And both clean, hmm?"

Tsunade's shock quickly morphed into outrage. She shot to her feet, and Kakashi yanked his gaze away from where her wet clothes hugged her curves. She spat, "You—you... brat!"

Brat? Kakashi stilled. Even if she'd meant it in jest, he absolutely did not want her to see him that way. Foolish, stubborn, impertinent; certainly, he was all of those things. And he could live with that. But not a childish brat. He wanted— _needed_ —Tsunade to respect him. To see him as a man, and in many ways, an equal.

Kakashi strode through the water toward Tsunade. Tsunade's eyebrows furrowed, her anger shifting to confusion, but she didn't step back, even when he stopped a mere inch away and said firmly, "Please don't call me that."

Tsunade blinked. "Don't call you... what?"

"A brat." Kakashi held her gaze, and his resolve. "I don't want you to see me that way."

Tsunade lifted her chin, and she, too, kept her eyes locked on his. "How do you want me to see you, then?"

Kakashi's heart thudded. That question was too dangerous, and one he could never answer truthfully. And Tsunade was too close. _Idiot._ He swallowed, and averted his gaze from hers. She still had a smear of mud on her forehead, so he reached up and carefully wiped it off with his thumb. "Maa, looks like I missed a spot."

Something flickered in Tsunade's eyes, but she stepped back, expression unreadable. "Enough talking. We need to get back to work, or we'll never finish."

"Hai." Kakashi was beginning to hate that word.

Yet, he couldn't keep his gaze from lingering on Tsunade as she turned back to the sprouts, her question tumbling through his mind.

And he couldn't help but wonder if she felt something too.

* * *

Tsunade cursed under her breath—in a very un-hokage-like way—as she jammed sprouts into the mud, back aching from constantly bending over.

That Kakashi. He always brought out the worst in her. First, she'd woken to find his fingers entangled in her hair. Then he'd had the nerve to blast her with a water jutsu after she'd just wanted to have a bit of fun with him.

But, as she straightened and pressed a muddy hand to her lower back for a moment of relief, she had to admit that wasn't quite true. Certainly, he often pulled unwanted emotions to the surface, but giving in to them was all her. She glanced at Kakashi, steadily planting a few yards away, pants rolled up to the knee, silver hair flopping over his headband. He didn't look up, and a flicker of disappointment annoyed her.

Tsunade scowled, redirecting her curses at herself. _Stupid, stupid_. She'd only wanted to tease him, because... Fine. She'd done it because she'd needed a distraction. When Kakashi had stood on the bank of the field, sleeveless shirt plastered to his toned chest, and his bare, muscular arms gleaming with sweat—her stomach had done a strange, fluttery-thing. The next thing she knew, she'd panicked and used the nearest thing for a distraction.

Though she had to admit, Kakashi's reaction to a face full of mud—and manure—had been rather hilarious.

But the intensity in his gaze after she'd called him a brat... Tsunade's face grew hot. She'd thought she saw something—but, no. He'd avoided her question and turned away. No doubt remembering his _someone_ back in Konoha.

Or the fact that she was his hokage and twenty-plus years older, as she should have.

Tsunade sighed. Who was she fooling? She might be attracted to Kakashi, and may have enjoyed the feel of his fingers running through her hair, but it didn't change the fact that even if he felt the same for her, those feelings came from a lie. He'd never seen the true Tsunade. The face she kept hidden. If he saw her, _truly_ saw her, those feelings would go away.

Tsunade closed her eyes, a familiar ache expanding in her chest. It wouldn't be real. And she wouldn't—couldn't—give her heart to something that wasn't real. She detested her true face, but it was part of her nonetheless. Resolve of steel closed around Tsunade's heart. Enough. It was time to rid herself of these feelings for Kakashi, once and for all.

A rumble shook the ground, followed by crashes and screams.

Tsunade spun toward the town behind them, gaze immediately fixing on the plume of smoke rising above the rooftops. She froze, familiar dread creeping over her. A huge snake rose above the rubble, tongue flickering.

_Orochimaru._

Tsunade sprang out of the field, only pausing long enough to strap on her heels, and shout to an already-moving Kakashi and Naruto, "To the village, now!"

Fury boiled through Tsunade's veins as she ran. How _dare_ he. Was this what Orochimaru had meant by finding another way to get his arms healed? To blackmail her by attacking one of the Land of Fire's villages? Something about it didn't feel right, but she didn't have time to figure it out now. She had to stop the serpent before more innocent people were hurt.

Kakashi and Naruto had caught up, and ran on either side of her. Naruto panted, "What's going on, Tsunade-baachan?"

If only she knew. "I'm not sure, but that looks like the same snake Orochimaru used to destroy the castle before you and Jiraiya found me."

Naruto clenched his muddy fists. "That creep! Why would he attack these people?"

Tsunade exchanged a brief, grim glance with Kakashi. "I don't know. But we'll take him out first, then ask questions."

"You bet we will, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto's blue eyes blazed. "Believe it!"

They neared Lord Mao's village, so Tsunade gave her orders. "I will take the snake. Both of you get the villagers to safety. And keep an eye out for Orochimaru or his lacky, Kabuto."

"Hai." Kakashi and Naruto said in unison, though Kakashi's eye narrowed. But he, too, knew she was the best option to take out the snake.

They separated at the village wall, and Tsunade leapt from rooftop to rooftop, keeping a sharp lookout for the snake. Moments later, the massive head rose above the buildings again, its flat black eyes fixing on her.

Tsunade jumped to a higher roof, and paused. The snake was definitely coming for her now, heedlessly smashing buildings out of the way. The terrified screams and cries below cut into her chest. She needed to take the serpent out quickly. Tsunade crouched. She couldn't use chakra, so she'd have to time her attack perfectly. She marked her next landing spot on a taller building, and waited for the snake to get closer.

The snake reared its head and dove for her, mouth open. Tsunade sprang off the shingles, and landed on her selected spot just long enough to launch herself into the air, high above the snake's diamond head.

Tsunade plummeted straight for the snake with a shout, and brought her fist down with all her strength. Her punch smashed the snake right between its flat black eyes, crushing through the scales to the bone. The snake's head hit the ground so hard the street split down the center, and the reptile vanished in a puff of summoning smoke.

Tsunade landed next to the fissure in a cloud of dust, and staggered. She grimaced. That attack had taken more out of her than she'd thought. Or maybe she was still getting used to the draining effects of the chakra seal.

Gradually, she became of aware of the people around her, staring in awe. Others were running among the rubble, crying for loved ones. Tsunade shook herself. What was she doing? The snake might be gone, but her other skills were needed. The snake had only attacked for a few minutes before she'd knocked it out, but the destruction it had caused was immense.

Tsunade organized the available people into search-and-rescue parties, and had others set up a temporary medical center for emergencies until the village's medics arrived. It didn't take long for the wounded to start arriving. Most people had gotten by with minor scrapes and cuts, but a few were life-threatening.

Tsunade knelt by one, a small boy with crushed legs and a gashed arm. She exhaled shakily. Using chakra to heal would feed the chakra seal, essentially shortening the time she had left, but when had that stopped her before? She focused on releasing a small amount of chakra and keeping the seal quarantined as much as possible, but she still felt it strengthening, growing, as she healed the boy's legs and arm.

More people on the verge of death kept arriving. Tsunade ignored the warning ringing in her head, and continued healing. If she didn't, they would die. So, really, there was no option. Some of the wounded were brought by Kakashi and Naruto, and the village medics came at last to help, but Tsunade blocked them out, using all of her concentration to heal and keep the chakra seal at bay.

Two hours later, she finished the last one; a man with jagged metal pieces puncturing his shoulder. After thanking Tsunade profusely, he stumbled away with help from his wife.

Tsunade sat back, exhausted, hands dangling limply between her knees.

A shadow fell over her, but Tsunade didn't have the strength to look up. Something soft and familiar fell around her shoulders, and she glanced dully at the worn hem of her green haori.

"I fetched your coat, Tsunade-baachan." Naruto crouched next to her, gaze darkening with worry. "Are you all right?"

"Thank you, Naruto-kun," Tsunade forced out. The last thing she needed was Naruto worrying about her. "I just need to rest a bit, then I'll be fine. Where—where's Kakashi-san?"

"Eh..." Naruto squinted. "I think he said he was going to get something you'd want."

Tsunade closed her eyes. Good. He wasn't here, then. She could rest for a moment, then surely, she'd be fine by the time he returned.

Sure enough, a few minutes later she sensed Kakashi's presence approaching. Except, if anything, she felt even worse. But she lifted her aching head, and focused on the figure—no, two figures—walking toward her. Kakashi led a pale Lord Mao by the arm, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. How had Kakashi gotten that cockroach out of his hole?

Kakashi shoved Mao forward. "Maa, I think you'll want to speak with this fellow, Tsunade-sama. He—" He stopped, staring at Tsunade. His pale eyebrow lowered, and he took a half-step toward her. "Are you all right?"

Tsunade held up a hand. "I'm fine." Only then did she notice a few fine wrinkles marring the back of her hand. _Blast it all_. Somehow, she summoned the strength to push to her feet. "Why did you bring this fool here?"

Kakashi's set jaw said he didn't believe her. But, thankfully, he let it drop, though it was likely just because Mao was present. "Maa, I think Mao may have some answers as to why Orochimaru's snake attacked."

Mao's beady gaze slid away, and Tsunade knew Kakashi's hunch had been correct. Good thing he'd had the sense to act on it, as she'd completely forgotten. She sighed. Not the best trait in a hokage. She gestured to a nearby empty building. "Then let's interrogate him. I, for one, would like some answers."

Naruto crossed his arms and glared. "Me too."

Tsunade let the others go first, so they wouldn't see her hobbling like an old woman, then slowly followed. She clenched her teeth. How much time had Orochimaru's stunt taken from her? She was more certain than ever he was behind the chakra-feeding seal, but couldn't connect it with his snake attacking Mao's village. What was his plan?

Tsunade focused on Mao as Kakashi shoved him into an empty chair. Perhaps Mao would provide answers, if she could get through this without falling on her face. Right now, that wasn't a strong possibility.

"Don't move," Kakashi said flatly to Mao. Then he nodded to Tsunade, and stepped past her to watch from the doorway.

Tsunade fixed her gaze on the fidgeting Mao. "Why was Orochimaru's serpent here?"

Mao's eyes narrowed at her, as if he sensed her braced knees were the only thing keeping her upright. He sneered. "How did a drunken, broke gambler who's so top-heavy she can barely stand become hokage? You'll have to—"

Lightning crackled, and Kakashi moved past Tsunade so fast his presence was no more than a whisper. Lightning-infused chakra—his Chidori—smashed into the wall next to Mao's face. Mao screamed, but Kakashi's other hand kept him firmly pinned in his chair until his Chidori vanished. Mao stared at the smoking crater next to his head, mouth frozen open.

The stench of burning hair filled the room, and in spite of everything, Tsunade was tempted to laugh at the missing side of Mao's mustache. Then the room spun, and she steadied herself with a hand against the wall. Kakashi leaned in close to Mao, murmuring something so low only the lord could hear it. Not that Tsunade could focus on anything with fuzzy black swarming in and out of her vision.

A small, warm hand grasped her arm, and Naruto peered up at her, eyebrows furrowed. "Tsunade-baachan? Is something wrong?"

Tsunade tried to smile down at him, though it probably came out more as a twisted grimace. "No. I'm... just a little dizzy. It's nothing to worry about, Naruto."

Kakashi straightened away from Mao, and faced Tsunade. His gray gaze was hard, but it softened apologetically when he looked at her. "Maa, I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. But he was annoying me. Please, continue."

"It's fine." Tsunade blinked, and her vision cleared a little. If wasn't for the fact that she could barely stand, she would have done far worse. And Naruto's hand was still on her arm, steadying her. She glared at Mao, and he quivered like jelly. "Answer my question."

"Orochimaru... he used the snake as a distraction." Mao's mouth pinched. "To take something valuable from me."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Take what, exactly?"

Mao swallowed. "Many years ago, I found a boy named Zabuki with an unusual kekkei genki. So, I took him in and raised him until he grew into a powerful shinobi. I planned to keep him hidden until I could use him for a... future purpose." He spat. "Somehow, this Orochimaru found out about him."

Tsunade fought to hold her temper in. It was all too easy to see through Mao's lies. Kidnapping and imprisonment were capital offenses. "And what is this kekkei genki?"

Mao's eyes glowed hot. "Zabuki... is very special. He has the ability to manipulate the iron in his body. He can expand it and make it into weapons, among other things. Such a power is unstoppable."

"And now Orochimaru has him!" Naruto shouted furiously, stepping in front of Tsunade. "What were you thinking?"

Tsunade met Kakashi's hard gaze, a heaviness in her chest. Whatever Orochimaru had in store for Zabuki couldn't be good. But first, she had to deal with Mao. She turned back, and stumbled as a wave of dizziness hit her.

"Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi's concerned voice grew closer. "Are you all right?"

Tsunade closed her eyes. If she just rested for a moment... no, she needed to answer Kakashi, tell him she was fine. But blackness swept over her, and her traitorous legs gave out.

Someone's warm arms caught her, surrounding her with the comforting scent of pine and metal as Kakashi and Naruto called her name frantically. But though she tried, she couldn't answer. Instead, she gave in completely to the darkness.


	15. Lost

Kakashi hadn't moved since he'd sat at Tsunade's bedside three hours ago. For the past two weeks, he'd been lost; in his feelings toward Tsunade, the uncertainty of the mission, even in what he really, truly, wanted.

In a single moment, everything had become clear. Now—as his laced fingers tightened—remembering Tsunade cradled in his arms, he understood.

Kakashi gazed at Tsunade's unconscious, yet peaceful face, with her loose blonde hair fanned out on her pillow, and his chest squeezed painfully. Her youthful transformation had slowly returned over the past few hours, but he hadn't forgotten how she'd looked when she'd collapsed in arms. Frail, and small. So small. He'd heard her Creation Rebirth jutsu aged her prematurely, but he hadn't known how much. Until now.

Likely, she'd strangle him if she knew he'd seen what she truly looked like, but it didn't matter to him. Tsunade was still Tsunade. And seeing who she really was only deepened his respect. It showed how much she'd given up for others. If only he could tell her that.

Kakashi exhaled heavily. Well. It wasn't as if he could do anything about it, no matter how much he wanted to. He focused on her red nails, unconsciously gripping the blanket, and grimaced. How had he forgotten the chakra-feeding seal? Not exactly forgotten—but he shouldn't have assumed she'd healed it. Instead, he'd let her use her the precious amount of chakra she had left to heal those hurt in the snake's attack.

His knuckles whitened. When she had collapsed, fear such as he'd never felt ripped through him, and that's when he knew.

He loved Tsunade.

Granted, he still wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do about it, but just knowing it filled him with purpose. He'd never known what he wanted, never had a dream. Now he did.

He wanted Tsunade. He wanted to make Konoha safe for her, wanted to fight with her to protect it. He wanted to find out her dreams, and make them reality. Most of all, he wanted her to want him too. But right now, none of that mattered. Not with Tsunade unconscious and near a coma. Not when Orochimaru could be heading for Konoha with a dangerous kekkei genki shinobi.

Kakashi lowered his head, fighting a sense of hopelessness. Normally, he didn't let his circumstances have an effect; reasoning there was always a way out. But, as usual since the very first day of the mission, Tsunade's presence had thrown his normal into a loop. A tangled, convoluted, emotional loop.

The door slid open, announcing Naruto's presence. "Ay, I'm back, Kakashi-sensei!" He held out chicken yakitori on a skewer, and frowned at Tsunade's motionless form. "Is Tsunade-baachan any better?"

"No." Kakashi took the yakitori from Naruto and let the skewer dangle between his fingertips. "Maa, thanks for the food. Have they locked Mao up yet?"

As soon as Tsunade had collapsed, Kakashi had ordered Naruto to watch Mao while he got Tsunade to a safe place. Once he'd gotten her settled, he had briefly returned to order Mao imprisoned by the order of the Godaime Hokage. He'd intended for Tsunade to give further orders when she awoke, but—he cut off the thought. No. She _would_ wake up, and give Mao the sentence he deserved.

"Hai. He's not going anywhere." Naruto's gaze didn't move from Tsunade, and his jaw clenched. "How did this happen? Did that snake hurt her? If Orochimaru did this, I'll find him and take him out!"

Kakashi sighed heavily, and set the skewer to the side. Maybe he'd be hungry later. He'd promised Tsunade he wouldn't tell Naruto about the chakra seal, but now he might not have a choice. Because if Naruto got it into his head to go after Orochimaru... "It's the disease the villagers of Yamagawa had. She absorbed into herself in the form of a seal. It was the only way to heal them." He gripped his knees. "I never should have let her take on the snake. It was too much."

Naruto gaped at him. "What?" His shock shifted to hurt. "Why didn't you and Tsunade-baachan tell me? I'm on this mission too, believe it!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. Why did these things always fall to him? "Well... Tsunade-sama didn't want you to know. She didn't want you to worry about her."

Naruto's brows furrowed. He looked back at Tsunade, and his normally cheerful mouth drooped. "Kakashi-sensei... what will we do if Tsunade-baachan doesn't wake up? Is there someone we can find who will heal her?"

Kakashi opened his mouth to reiterated that she _would_ wake up—but movement from Tsunade's bed caught the corner of his watchful eye. He was on his feet in an instant, gaze locked on Tsunade's face.

Naruto hurried to his side, peering at the hokage hopefully. "Tsunade-baachan?"

Tsunade blinked, and the sight of her honey eyes flooded Kakashi with knee-weakening relief. She groaned, and pushed herself up slowly, rubbing her forehead. At last, her gaze fixed on Kakashi and Naruto. But instead of recognition, her eyes darkened with confusion and suspicion. Cold dread washed through Kakashi, taking every last vestige of relief with it. He knew that look.

Tsunade's gaze flickered back and forth from Kakashi to Naruto. She tensed, obviously ready to spring from her bed. "Who…who are you? Where am I?" Fire sparked in her pupils. "Nawaki, what did you do to your hair?!"

"Eh?" Naruto gaped at Tsunade. "What are you talking about, Tsunade-baachan?"

" _What_ did you just call me?!" Tsunade's eyes widened. "Wait. You—you're not Nawaki." She threw back the covers and lurched to her feet. But her body was still weak, and she staggered, nearly falling into Kakashi. He instinctively caught her arms to steady her, but Tsunade pulled away sharply and steadied herself against the bedpost. She curled her fingers into fists, clearly trying to control her trembling. "What—what...?"

This was bad. Kakashi fought to keep his voice calm, when, inside, he felt anything but calm. "You don't remember us?"

Tsunade stared at him blankly. "What? Who are you?" Her gaze lifted to his forehead protector, and the deep furrow on her forehead smoothed a little. "You're a Konoha shinobi? But... I've never seen you before."

"What are you talking about, Tsunade-baachan?" Naruto blurted, clearly a little slow to catch up, as usual. "You know Kakashi-sensei!"

Tsunade rounded on him, and Naruto shrank back. "Stop calling me that, you little brat! Did Jiraiya put you up to this?"

"Ero Sennin?" Naruto scoffed. "No. I think you need to—"

"Naruto, quiet." For some reason, Kakashi couldn't make himself look at Tsunade. "Tsunade-sama has lost her memory. She doesn't remember either of us." How much _did_ she remember? She'd thought Naruto was her brother Nawaki, which meant... worst case scenario, she'd lost over twenty-five years of memory.

"Lost...?" Tsunade paled, but lifted her chin. "You're lying. For what purpose do you have me here? If you're enemies of Konoha, I won't hesitate to take you both out. Explain yourselves, quickly!"

This wasn't good at all. Kakashi held up his hands, mind racing. How could he possibly convince Tsunade? "We are not your enemies. I am Kakashi Hatake of Konoha, and this is Naruto Uzumaki, one of my students. We are on a mission with you, but Orochimaru attacked this village and you lost consciousness after defeating his serpent and healing the people of the village. I can only assume that is the reason for your memory loss."

That, and the chakra seal. He had no doubt that was the main cause.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed angrily. "Impossible. Orochimaru is my teammate, and he would _never_ attack a village."

Kakashi winced. Fool _._ He should have known better than to mention Orochimaru.

"You should have come up with better aliases," Tsunade continued coolly. "I assure you that I would know if there was another Uzumaki alive, and there isn't. And the only Hatake in Konoha is Sakumo Hatake and his wife. Now, tell me your true purpose for bringing me here."

Naruto stomped his foot. "Stop being ridiculous, Tsunade-baachan! You're the hokage! When I'm hokage, I'll never forget that. Believe it!"

"Hokage?" Tsunade gave a disbelieving laugh. "Now I know you're lying. Don't—"

"The Sakumo Hatake you remember was my father," Kakashi said quietly. "The White Fang of Konoha."

Tsunade glared at him, but he caught the uncertainty in her eyes. "Impossible. You are—what? Twenty-six? Seven? That would make me..." Her mouth tightened. "I've had enough of this. I am twenty-two, and I just gave Nawaki his twelfth birthday present yesterday. You will regret desecrating the uniform of the Leaf!"

Only Kakashi's instincts saved him. He dove to the side, taking Naruto with him, as Tsunade's fist smashed the floor where he'd been a moment before. He leaped out the window, Naruto under his arm. The wall of the apartment exploded behind him, and Tsunade sailed out of the wreckage with a shout.

Kakashi hit the ground lightly, heart racing. He had to stop Tsunade before she used her chakra. He set Naruto down—and Tsunade's shadow fell over them. "Naruto, get away!"

Tsunade's landing cracked the pavement. She straightened, eyes burning. But when she took a step toward Kakashi, her legs buckled. She crumpled, barely catching herself on her hands and knees with a gasp. "What—what is this?"

Kakashi approached cautiously, but it was obvious Tsunade's strength was gone. It took all of his willpower not help her; instead, he crouched at her side. "We are not your enemies." He sighed. He hadn't wanted to use this, but... "You wear a, uh, youthful henge. If you just release it..."

Tsunade glared at him, sucking in gulps of air. Sweat beaded her forehead. "Liar. What—what have you done to... me?" Her eyelashes fluttered closed, and her quivering arms gave out.

Kakashi caught her before she hit the cratered street. He stood, Tsunade cradled in his arms. He gritted his teeth at her shallow breathing and pale, sweaty skin. If only he had realized what she was doing sooner...

Naruto ran over, blue eyes wide. "What are we going to do? Is Tsunade-baachan okay?"

Kakashi didn't have answer for either, so he just grunted. He needed to come up with a plan to convince Tsunade of the truth when she woke up. And he saw no other choice but to send a message to Konoha and notify Shizune. Perhaps she would know how to restore Tsunade's memory. Not to mention he needed to warn her about Orochimaru. "Let's find a hotel and get Tsunade-sama to a bed. Then... we'll figure out a plan."

Naruto nodded seriously, and brushed dust from his jacket. "Hai."

* * *

Tsunade woke in a strange bed. Again. She groaned at the throbbing in her skull, and slowly sat up, taking in the empty room around her. Why was she...? Everything from the past day rushed back, and she groaned again.

She was trapped by two shinobi who claimed to be from Konoha, though she'd never seen them before, and had the gall to call her— _her_ —a grandma of all things, and say that she'd lost over twenty years of memory. Tsunade snorted. Ah, yes. And, she was apparently the Godaime Hokage.

How ridiculous. Still, the lies were so strange, she might almost believe they were being truthful—no. It wasn't true. She wouldn't let it be true. She would find out what they were planning, then take them out.

Tsunade dug her fingers into the blanket. They would regret trying to take advantage of Tsunade Senju. She needed to take care of this and get back to Konoha before Nawaki started to worry about her. She'd promised he could train with her today. With the village at war, she didn't have as much time for him as she used to. She slid her legs out of bed, but she had to grip the bed frame to keep herself upright. Why was she so weak? What had they done to her?

Tsunade closed her eyes, and focused on what her body was telling her. She was still developing new medical techniques, but being able to self-diagnose any part of her body was one she'd perfected. It wasn't poison or any drug... she stiffened. A strange, hungry presence pulsed inside, though it seemed concentrated around her stomach. Cold rushed through her. No, it couldn't be.

Tsunade pulled off the navy obi around her waist, then shrugged off her sleeveless kimono. She stared at her toned stomach, dread creeping down her spine. Sure enough, a black sealing circle branded her skin around her naval.

But how? Why couldn't she remember any of this? Tsunade pulled the strange clothes back on, since she didn't have anything else. She gritted her teeth. Had her captors put her in these? She certainly wouldn't choose to wear them. The style was something an older woman would wear, though slightly altered.

Tsunade pressed both hands to the sides of her head. Where were her captors, anyway? They weren't very good at this hostage business, if that's what they intended for her. In fact, now that she thought about it, they hadn't really acted like captors at all. Neither had fought back when she'd attacked them, and the silver-haired ninja who claimed to be Sakumo's son had been quite... respectful. She squeezed her eyes shut. What was it he had said?

" _You wear a, uh, youthful henge. If you just release it..."_

Tsunade swallowed. No one was here, so perhaps she should try it. Nothing would happen, of course, but then at least she'd know they were lying and gain peace of mind. She faced the mirror on the wall and formed the sign. "Release."

Her youthful face faded, revealing a... she looked like a... Tsunade stumbled back and sat down hard on the bed. She couldn't tear her gaze from her reflection. Impossible. She—she looked like a seventy-year-old woman. Hands shaking, she formed another sign, bringing her henge back.

Tsunade buried her face in her hands, unable to think straight. Did that mean the impostor Konoha shinobi were telling the truth? Because if they were...

That would mean the war was over. And Nawaki was likely a full-fledged jōnin by now.

Tsunade took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. She needed to talk to them. And perhaps apologize for reacting in violence prematurely. But first, she needed to feel like herself, and to do that... Her gaze fell on the open packs in the corner, and the silver-haired ninja's extra uniform.

Ten minutes later, Tsunade made her way down the hotel stairs. Her hair was back in her usual high ponytail and though the uniform was more than a little baggy, but she finally felt like herself. She had to hold on the railing like an old woman—except apparently, she _was_ an old woman—but she felt stronger by the time she reached the bottom.

She spotted Kakashi Hatake and Naruto Uzumaki—who still looked so similar to Nawaki it disturbed her—as soon as she exited the hotel's front door. They sat at one of the tea house's tables just outside, one with an excellent view of her room's window and the hotel entrance. Tsunade approached, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.

Hatake spotted her first, and immediately stood, his single visible eye guarded. "Good morning, Tsunade-sama."

Naruto swiveled in his seat, blue eyes wide. "Ay! Are you going to attack us again?"

Tsunade winced. "No. And I'm... sorry about that. I've had time to think, and I believe you're telling the truth. But I want you to tell me everything." She pointed at her stomach. "How did I get this seal?"

Hatake didn't seem to hear her; his gaze was fixed on her uniform. He scratched the back of his neck. "Maa, is that my spare uniform?"

"Hai." Tsunade crossed her arms. "Have a problem with that?"

"Ah, no." For some reason, Hatake's ears reddened. He cleared his throat, and plopped back in his chair. "So, you believe us. I am relieved to hear that." His gray eye studied her again. "Are you hungry?"

Tsunade blinked. She hadn't exactly expected that response, but now that he mentioned it... her stomach growled. How long had it been since she'd eaten? "A bit. But what does that—"

Hatake stood, this time leisurely sliding his hands into his pockets. "Let's go find a bite to eat. I'll explain as much as I can on the way. But I think it would be best if I don't tell you your past, besides what is necessary. That is yours to discover."

Tsunade chewed her lip to hide her annoyance. He had a point, but she didn't even know how to bring her memories back. And there was so much she wanted— _needed_ —to know. But for now... "Fine."

Naruto sprang up. "All right! Let's go find some ramen!"

Hatake explained their mission and the reason behind her seal in his calm, almost bored, voice as they walked. "...if I understand correctly, using your chakra will only increase the effects of the chakra seal."

They stopped outside of a ramen shop, but Tsunade's mind was spinning so fast she couldn't even think about food. The more Hatake talked, the more reality sank in. The war was over. She truly had lost half of her life's memories, she was fifty-one years old, not twenty-two. And she truly was the Godaime Hokage of Konoha.

The buzz of a city at peace surrounded her, but Tsunade closed her eyes and pressed her hand to her forehead, as if that would help her process what was happening. It was all too much.

Naruto had already run up to sit at the food bar, but Hatake stopped at the entrance and looked back at her, eye half-closed lazily. "Coming, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade's irritation at his laid-back attitude spiked through her growing panic. Did he not care that her life had been literally flipped upside down? "No, I'm not," she retorted, the pressure in her head increasing. "I have a lot to think about, so I'm going to go back to the hotel and—and process. Bring something back for me, if you feel so inclined."

She turned away, then realized she had no idea where the hotel was. But she wasn't about to admit that to Hatake, so she'd just have to find—

"Tsunade-sama." Faster than she'd thought possible, Hatake appeared at her side and touched her arm to stop her.

Reluctantly, Tsunade faced him. The intensity in his gaze startled her. There was no denying Kakashi Hatake was an attractive man like his father; even with the mask it was obvious. But that wasn't what made her heart skip a beat. For a moment, she saw it in the depths of his dark gray iris: that regardless of his feigned attitude, he cared very much.

But he only tipped his head and said, "Maa, at least let me summon an escort for you."

Before Tsunade could decide if she felt offended or touched, Hatake nicked his thumb with a kunai, and pressed his palm to the street. As the summoning smoke dissipated, Tsunade found herself staring at a... pug. Her lips curved up in spite of herself, though she supposed it made sense. From what she could remember, Sakumo's wife was from the Inuzuka clan. How unfortunate her son had ended up with such a small summoning. She coughed. "Your summoning is a lap dog?"

Hatake looked hurt. "Pakkun is the most trusted of my eight ninken." He nodded to the pug. "Escort Tsunade-sama to our hotel, please."

The pug bowed, at least, as much as a dog could bow. "It would be an honor, Hokage-sama."

Honestly. This was entirely unnecessary. Tsunade sent Hatake a sideways glare. "I don't need an escort, Hatake-san."

Hatake held his hands up, eye curved from an innocent smile. "Maa, humor me? Please?"

Tsunade's stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. _Fine._ She jerked her chin at the pug. "Let's go, then."

She marched in what she hoped was the direction of the hotel, and Pakkun the pug trotted after her. Though she was briefly tempted to look back, she didn't. Slightly-heightened pulse or not, she wasn't giving Hatake any satisfaction.

Tsunade closed her eyes and sighed. Enough with Kakashi Hatake. Retrieving her memories was top priority, and once she got back to the hotel, that's what she intended to do.


	16. Comfort

... _return immediately to Konoha. I conferred with Shikaku Nara, and he agrees we should keep Lady Tsunade out of sight until her memory returns. I will examine her when you arrive in Konoha, and we will continue to discuss what must be done then. We have the border guards on high alert, but so far there is no sign of Orochimaru._

_-Shizune_

Kakashi spread his fingers, incinerating the message in a burst of fire. He glanced at the hotel's front door, but still no sign of Naruto or Tsunade. He'd prefer to give Tsunade more time to recover before traveling back to Konoha, but Tsunade _had_ seemed better since she'd woken up.

Well, besides the fact that her memories were gone. But he couldn't deny that seeing Tsunade as she used to be intrigued him. She still had the spark that was only Tsunade, but she seemed softer. Not as harsh. He supposed that made sense, seeing as she didn't remember the events that had caused her to leave Konoha in the first place.

Still... he'd already seen a glimpse of that softer side on their mission. She hadn't lost it. She'd just gotten better at hiding it. And, somehow, she had allowed him—of all people—to see it. Which only made him wonder if—

"Contemplating life's problems?" Tsunade's amused voice in his ear nearly sent him up onto the rooftop. Tsunade stood a couple feet away, arms crossed and smirking. She still wore his extra—and very baggy—jōnin uniform, her blonde hair back in a high ponytail, and again without her usual pink lipstick.

Kakashi swallowed, fighting the same reaction he'd had yesterday. What was it about this woman wearing his clothes? Somehow, she managed to make even a jōnin uniform look cute—he firmly broke that thought off. "Ah. Good morning. When did you...?"

Tsunade waved dismissively. "Don't worry, I've been out for several hours. Couldn't sleep." Her honey eyes darkened. "I tried, but I couldn't get any of my memories back."

"I'm sorry." He was, and not just because Konoha was in desperate need of its hokage. Not being able to remember twenty-nine years of your life... he didn't want to imagine it. Kakashi narrowed his eye at her. Had she been watching him this entire time? He hadn't done anything embarrassing, had he?

Tsunade's smirk faded, and her gaze grew wide and hopeful. "Maybe if you tell me some of my past, it will help me remember?"

An uncomfortable heat built in Kakashi's chest. When she looked at him like that... he found his willpower rapidly weakening. He cleared his throat. "Maa, I'm sorry. I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, most of your lost memories I wouldn't know either."

Tsunade's mouth twisted, and she dropped her gaze. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, glancing toward the hotel again. This time—thank the shinobi gods—Naruto headed toward them, squinting sleepily. "Ah, good. Naruto's here."

Naruto yawned hugely, but his blue eyes, rounded with concern, fixed on Tsunade. "How are you feeling today, Tsunade-baachan?"

Tsunade's blonde eyebrow twitched, probably at Naruto's insistence in calling her a grandma. "Much better, thank you, little gaki."

The last thing he needed was more bickering, so Kakashi quickly inserted himself back into the conversation. "I received a message this morning requesting us to return to Konoha immediately, so we should pack up."

Tsunade only huffed, but he didn't miss the glint of interest her eyes. Likely, she was curious to see how Konoha had changed in the last twenty-nine years. Naruto, on the other hand, beamed. "All right, Kakashi-sensei! I'm ready to go. Wait till Sasuke and Sakura-chan hear about the mission!"

Kakashi pinned his student with a stern look. "Nothing about the hokage, understood?"

Naruto was already charging back toward the hotel, but he hollered over his shoulder, "Hai, hai, I know!"

When they finally left Mao's town behind, Kakashi kept a careful, even pace as they sailed through the trees. He kept an even more careful eye on Tsunade. But she seemed to sense where his attention was focused, because he felt the heat of her glare between his shoulder blades more than once.

As soon as the sun touched the tree tops, Kakashi halted. If he'd had them go at the normal pace, they would already be in Konoha. But Tsunade's condition being what it was, he couldn't risk it. He only hoped Naruto and Tsunade hadn't realized it. He flicked two fingers downward. "We'll stop here for the night."

"Eh, what?" Naruto exclaimed, and Kakashi sighed inwardly. His student scowled. "We could easily make it to Konoha tonight, Kakashi-sensei. Believe it!"

Tsunade's suspicious gaze darted between them. Though she tried to hide her heavy breathing and trembling legs, Kakashi wasn't fooled. But if he didn't want to deal with an irate Tsunade, he had to come up with a reason for Naruto, and fast. He rubbed his chin. "Well, Naruto-kun, I thought it would be nice if we took a moment to appreciate the sunset before bed. Sometimes you need to enjoy life, eh?"

Naruto groaned. "Of course, you think so, Kakashi-sensei. Who cares about sunsets?"

"Maa, I do. Let's go." Kakashi leaped down, and surprisingly, Tsunade followed without objection. Even stranger, she had a slight smile.

However, Tsunade's unexpected good mood faded after they set up camp and Kakashi again refused to tell her any of her past. His fingers tightened on the worn cover of _Icha Icha_ Paradise as he met Tsunade's annoyed glare across the campfire. "I can't."

"At least tell me about Nawaki." Tsunade's honey eyes begged him. "How is he? Does he have a team of his own yet?"

Kakashi's stomach churned, and he had to look away. Why was fate so cruel? He couldn't even imagine if he had to go through Obito's and Rin's deaths again. "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama."

"You're more stubborn than Jiraiya," Tsunade muttered. Her lips pressed together, and she stared off into the trees. "Fine." She stood and started off into the forest at a clipped pace, then tossed a parting remark over her shoulder. "I'll return later. Don't wait up."

Kakashi watched her go and sighed at the hollow feeling in his chest. Well. Had he really expected "younger" Tsunade to be any easier to deal with than the Tsunade he'd been with the past few weeks?

Naruto crunched on his rations as he, too, watched Tsunade leave, forehead furrowed in concern. "I hope Tsunade-baachan gets her memory back soon."

"Hai." But when she did, when she had to relive the trauma of Nawaki's and Dan's deaths, what would happen? Kakashi lifted _Icha Icha_ Paradise to continue reading, but he couldn't focus on the page. Too many other thoughts assailed his mind. Besides, he hadn't been able to enjoy _Icha Icha_ since... that night.

Midnight approached, and still Tsunade hadn't returned. Kakashi had long ago given up pretending to read his _Icha Icha_ , and instead sat in a tense silence. It might have been peaceful, except for Naruto's snores. Finally, Kakashi couldn't stand it any longer. Tsunade wouldn't appreciate an intrusion on whatever she was doing, but as far as he was concerned, she didn't have to know he'd come to look for her. He'd make sure she was all right, then return to camp. He prided himself on his ability to move unseen, after all.

Kakashi slipped into the trees, all senses on high alert. Once Naruto's snores began to fade, he honed in on the sounds of nighttime forest. Leaves, rustling in the slight breeze, an owl, swooping among the branches, and... crying. He froze, pulse jumping in his throat. Not just crying, but deep, brokenhearted sobbing.

_Tsunade._

He approached cautiously, and stopped well into the shadows of the trees. Tsunade was crumpled on her knees at a small stream bank, face buried in her hands as her shoulders shook with sobs. "Nawaki... why? Why couldn't I make it in time?"

A painful vice clamped around Kakashi's chest. She must have gotten some of her memories back. He doubted she wanted company, but instead of silently leaving, something compelled him a few steps forward. Tsunade seemed so small and vulnerable; a feeling he had experienced more than he cared to admit. He stopped behind the nearest trunk, hesitating. He knew what it was to be alone in grief, and he wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially Tsunade. But he, for all his experience in trauma, knew nothing of comforting others. In all likelihood, he would just make things worse.

Or, he could quit being a coward and offer Tsunade what he'd never had. Kakashi stepped out from behind the tree, and cautiously sat cross-legged next to Tsunade. "I, ah, couldn't help but overhear. I'm sorry."

Tsunade's mouth compressed, and she viciously tore at the grass beside her knee. "I—I thought I wanted my memories back." She sniffled, fisting the grass with both hands. "It was my fault, you know. He was caught in an explosion. I heard it, but I... I couldn't get there in time. He was already gone."

Kakashi closed his eyes, fighting the images of Obito's dying face; of his hand plunging through Rin's heart. "Maa, it wasn't your fault. Sometimes... things just happen. Things you can't control."

If only he believed his own words. But no, he deserved to live with the guilt he felt every day. Because in his case... it _was_ his fault.

Tsunade shook her head fiercely. "I am the best medical-nin in Konoha. I could have saved him, if only—if only I'd been there." She shot him a glare, eyes watery and red-rimmed. "Why are you even here? You couldn't possibly understand."

Kakashi stared at the gurgling stream, water glistening in the moonlight. He'd never voluntarily told his past to anyone. But he would do anything to ease the ache in Tsunade's heart, and to show her that he _did_ understand. "When I was twelve, my teammate saved my life on a mission—sacrificing himself in the process. A month later, my other teammate took a blow that I meant for the enemy, killing herself by my hand. After that, I took a position in the Anbu, and my sensei gave me the task of protecting his pregnant wife. But I failed him too, and he and his wife were killed." Kakashi lowered his chin, swallowing past the tightness in his throat. Even so, finally speaking the past after fifteen years felt…freeing. "Sometimes, I still can't live with myself. But life goes on."

Tsunade was watching him silently, a tear tracing down her cheek. He met her gaze, and saw his own grief reflected there. She understood, just as he understood her. "Thank you... for telling me."

Kakashi offered a nod. Tsunade's slender hand slid into his gloved one, sending a tingle up his arm. He stiffened, unable to decipher what—He mentally shook himself as he realized the gesture for what it was. She needed comfort, and if he were honest, so did he. He tightened his fingers around hers, and they sat silently by the stream bank until the early hours of morning.

* * *

They reached Konoha before the sun had risen above the rooftops. Kakashi glanced at Tsunade out of the corner of his eye as they wandered down the darkened streets. Where could she stay that would keep her out of sight?

Unfortunately, only one answer came to mind.

No one had stepped foot in his apartment in years, let alone stayed there. Kakashi jammed his hands in his pockets. Not that he had much choice in the matter. It seemed he was going to be stuck with a roommate for the next few days. Though, strangely, the idea of a roommate didn't seem as bad as it might have earlier.

"It's good to be back!" Naruto stretched his arms above his head. "Kakashi-sensei, can I go find Sakura-chan and Sasuke?"

"Ay, go ahead, Naruto-kun." Kakashi watched the student take off in the direction of the hospital, all too aware that he was now alone with Tsunade. She'd been quiet and despondent since remembering Nawaki's death, and he couldn't blame her. From what he'd gathered, that was the only memory she'd been able to recover, and it had taken a lot of effort. If that was what she had to do for all twenty-nine years of memory...

"So, where are we going?" Tsunade asked as they walked toward his apartment. Her voice rasped, as if her throat was raw.

"Maa, well..." Kakashi stopped in front of his apartment building. Several of his fellow shinobi lived here as well, and he pushed down his urgency to get inside before any of them saw him with Tsunade. "I was thinking you could stay at my apartment. Since, ah, you should stay out of sight until your memory returns."

Tsunade stared at the three-story building in front of them, expressionless. "This is your apartment?"

"Hai." Kakashi decided that was as close to an agreement as he was going to get, so he started up the stairs on the left side. "This way."

As soon as he set his hand on the door knob, he regretted not sending Pakkun ahead to tidy things up a bit. Not that he was messy like Asuma, but he was pretty sure he'd left some dishes in the sink. And there was probably dog hair on the couch. All in all, not the impression he wanted to give the hokage.

Or... Tsunade.

 _Just open the door._ Kakashi shoved the door open, and extended an arm for Tsunade to enter first. "Ah, welcome to my home."

Tsunade walked in, and Kakashi followed her, trying not to fidget. He scratched the back of his neck as she took the sparse living room and connected kitchen. "Maa, I know it's not much, but it'll just be for a little while."

Tsunade faced him, eyebrows furrowed with... suspicion? "Is that the only bedroom?"

Kakashi's gaze darted to the open doorway leading into his room, even though he knew that it was, in fact, the only bedroom. "Well... hai." At the thunderous expression on Tsunade's face, he immediately knew he'd said the wrong thing. "I—I mean, it is the only bedroom, but it's yours. I intend to take the couch."

"Oh. I... um, never mind." Tsunade's cheeks flushed and she cleared her throat. "Thank you, Kakashi-san. For letting me stay here."

Kakashi could feel his own face burning. He needed to get out of here. "Maa, it's no trouble." He rubbed his masked chin. "Make yourself at home. I have to go attend to a few things." Like meeting with Shizune and Shikaku Nara to figure out what they were going to do.

Tsunade only nodded. Grief and exhaustion hung over her like a cloud, so Kakashi ducked out before he did or said something he regretted. She probably wanted some alone time to grieve for Nawaki, anyway.

Kakashi made his way to the hokage's building. Shizune and Shikaku were already waiting for him in the hokage's office. He offered them both a nod, and shut the door behind him. Even though she'd only been hokage a few weeks, the office felt strange and empty without Tsunade sitting at her desk.

He gave them the rundown of the mission, what he knew of Orochimaru and Zabuki, and finally, Tsunade's memory loss. "It seems to take a lot of effort to bring back just days of memory. It could take months for her to recover all of it."

Shikaku tapped his chin thoughtfully. "You say this chakra-absorbing seal is the likely cause?"

"Hai." Kakashi fisted his hands in his pockets. "Is Jiraiya-san available? He may be able to figure out a way to remove the seal."

Shikaku grunted. "I'm afraid not. He just left on an important mission. I expect he won't be back for at least a week. But if the problem isn't resolved by the time he returns, he could certainly be an asset."

Shizune was pale, probably at the prospect of acting as Tsunade for several weeks. "Tsunade-sama is very knowledgeable in sealing as well. I fear that if there was a way to remove it, she would have done so before her memory loss. But I'll come examine her, just to be sure."

"Of course," Shikaku agreed. "We must be prepared if it does take the Godaime that long to recover. Shizune, you will continue to act as Tsunade for now, and I will help you with any major decisions." His dark eyes fixed on Kakashi. "I think it would be best to keep this knowledge to as few shinobi as possible. Therefore, if Tsunade-sama could continue to stay with you for the foreseeable future, that would be best."

Kakashi couldn't deny Shikaku was right, though the thought of Tsunade living with him indefinitely made him uneasy. He was going to have plenty of opportunities to practice his self-control. Perhaps the shinobi gods had a sense of humor after all. They were certainly laughing at him right now. "Hai."

Shikaku cracked a smile, and even Shizune seemed to be suppressing her amusement. "Well," the jōnin commander observed, "I think we can all agree that you have the most difficult assignment, Kakashi-san. Try not to make her mad, eh?"

Kakashi took the opportunity to nod and escape the office. He ran a hand through his hair as he descended the stairs. Shikaku didn't know how right he was, though for a completely different reason than he had in mind. Having the woman Kakashi was _very_ attracted to around every day... it would test his willpower, indeed.

He shoved his hands into his pockets. But never let it be said that Kakashi Hatake was afraid of a challenge. Kakashi nodded to himself. He just needed to treat his time with Tsunade as a mission. That would keep his mind on track. Everyone knew, in spite of his laid-back attitude, how seriously he treated his missions.

Confidence restored, Kakashi couldn't help whistling a jaunty tune as he strolled home. After all, he'd managed to conceal his feelings for Tsunade so far. Mostly. How hard could it be?

"Kakashi-san!"

Kakashi halted and turned, hands still in his pockets. Shizune hurried after him, medical scroll in hand. She caught up to him, panting. "I would like to examine Tsunade-sama now, if you don't mind."

"Maa, sure." The sooner, the better. Kakashi continued in the direction of his apartment. "This way."

Shizune quickened her pace to keep up with him. "How—how is she? You said the only memory that returned was of Nawaki's death. How... did she take it?"

Almost unconsciously, Kakashi's fingers curled at the memory of Tsunade's hand in his. "Better than I expected. At first, she blamed herself, but she did listen when I shared some of my own past. I think it helped."

Shizune stared at him in surprise, then blinked and hastily looked away. "That was good of you. Even with me, she never spoke about Nawaki's death, and that was years after it happened. I—I know Tsunade-sama can be quick-tempered and harsh, but... be gentle with her. Especially now. "

"I would never do anything to hurt her," Kakashi said immediately. Then winced inwardly at Shizune's odd look. He'd spoken too fast. "That is, I will respect her as my hokage."

"Of course!" Shizune's voice rose with alarm. "I didn't mean to imply that you wouldn't, Kakashi-san. It's just that... since she will be living with you, I wanted you to be prepared for things you may not know."

"I understand." Though Kakashi had meant to reassure her, Shizune only seemed more nervous. Was he that intimidating? Perhaps he was too used to traveling with Tsunade, who wasn't intimidated by anything or anyone. He studied Shizune from the corner of his eye, and mulled that he didn't really know much about her, except that she had traveled with Tsunade as her assistant. "If I may ask, how did you meet Tsunade-sama?"

"I don't mind." Shizune held the medical scroll closer. "Tsunade-sama dated my uncle Dan Katō for three months, though I only saw her a couple of times before his death. When he died, Tsunade-sama took me under her wing. I'm not sure why; perhaps because I reminded her of him. Anyway, I trained under her in Konoha until I became chūnin at thirteen. Then one day, soon after the Third War began, Tsunade showed up at my house covered in blood, though it wasn't hers. She was shaking and incoherent, so I cleaned her up. She then said she was leaving, and she wasn't coming back. I owed her everything, so of course, I went with her. I never found out what happened to her that day." She sighed. "Thankfully, Jiraiya and Naruto found us fifteen years later. Otherwise..."

So, Tsunade _had_ left Konoha that day. He'd suspected, but... Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "Maa, that blood was mine. If she hadn't found me that day, I would have died."

Shizune gaped at him. "You? But..."

"We're here." Kakashi nodded at the rusted stairway that led up the back of the apartment. Maybe it had been rude to interrupt, but he really didn't want Shizune to ask about his relationship with Tsunade.

Shizune took her cue, and hurried up the steps. Kakashi followed her up, then stepped past her to unlock his door. Or attempted to unlock it, anyway. After his key stuck in the rusted lock for the fifth time, he was sorely tempted to just kick the door down. Behind him, Shizune cleared her throat, clearly trying to hide her amusement.

Then the door swung open, revealing Tsunade standing in the doorway and still wearing his extra uniform, though slightly rumpled. She huffed. "Can't anyone get any peace around here?"

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune dove past Kakashi and wrapped Tsunade in her arms. "I'm so glad you're all right!"

Tsunade stood rigidly, making no attempt to hug Shizune back. Her glare over Shizune's shoulder silently ordered Kakashi to get her out of whatever he'd gotten her into. He suppressed a smile, and set a hand on Shizune's shoulder, gently tugging her away. "Maa, remember, she doesn't remember you."

"Oh!" Shizune smoothed the front of her kimono. "I'm so sorry, Tsunade-sama. I forgot, and that's the reason I'm here."

Tsunade crossed her arms a little too tightly, but she stepped back to allow them inside. "And you are?"

Shizune blushed. "Sorry. I'm Shizune Katō, and I am a medical-nin who was personally trained by you. I'm here to examine your chakra seal and see if there is a way to remove it."

Tsunade's blonde eyebrows lifted. "If I trained you, then I suppose you must be competent. But—" she turned away, revealing Kakashi's table covered with papers, all scribbled with medical script and sketches— "that won't be necessary. I've already confirmed that the seal can't be removed." She shot a narrow-eyed glare at Kakashi, as if accusing him of doubting her abilities. "What did you think I'd be doing while I was stuck here?"

"Maa..." Kakashi had no idea. But he was beginning to see how Tsunade had become the greatest medical-nin in the shinobi world. "Sleeping?"

A muscle in Tsunade's forehead twitched. "Excuse me?"

Shizune's nervous gaze darted between them. "What brought you to the conclusion that the seal cannot be removed?"

Tsunade turned away and walked to the table. She adjusted some of the papers. "The contents of the seal, in this case, a chakra-feeding disease, can't just be unsealed. The disease would then be free to run rampant again. The only way to get rid of the disease itself is to essentially stop feeding it, so that it 'dies.' However, that is impossible, as I require chakra to survive." She sighed heavily. "I've been trying to come up with another way to 'kill' it, but so far I have nothing."

A heavy feeling sank Kakashi's stomach, and he took a half-step forward. "You will find the answer, Tsunade. I know it."

Tsunade glanced at him, and too late, he realized he hadn't used an honorific. Her cheeks pinked, but she only said abruptly, "I think I'm going to go get some sleep. It's been a long day."

Without waiting for an answer, she strode into Kakashi's room and shut the door. Kakashi stared after her. Well, so much for retrieving a change of clothes. It seemed he would be sleeping in his uniform tonight.

"Good luck, Kakashi-san." Shizune stood at the door, her hand on the knob, and her dark eyes gleamed with a knowing look. "You're going to need it."

Kakashi blinked as the door shut behind her, leaving him standing alone in his living room. Why did he suddenly feel... abandoned? He sighed, and sat heavily on the couch. But Shizune was right about one thing: he was going to need all the luck he could get.


	17. Falling

The buzz of an alarm jolted Tsunade awake. She lunged forward to shut it off before it woke Kakashi in the other room, then found herself staring dismally at the smashed remains of the clock under her hand. Great. Now she had to buy Kakashi a new alarm clock. Tsunade groaned, and ran a hand through her tangled hair. Why on earth had she set the alarm so early? Surely, she'd had a—

Oh, yes. Her plan. Tsunade rubbed her aching eyes, then slid her legs out of bed to stand blearily in front of the miniscule dresser. The same two pictures met her gaze, as they had the previous mornings. One was a young Kakashi with his two teammates and sensei with spiky yellow hair whom she recognized as an adult Minato Namikaze, one of Jiraiya's students. She bit her lip, remembering Kakashi's confession. He blamed himself for the deaths of everyone in this picture. What a terrible burden to live with. The other picture was Kakashi with his team. Nawaki's almost-twin, Naruto, a beaming pink-haired girl, and a brooding boy with black hair. She didn't doubt he had his hands full with those three.

Tsunade sighed, and began brushing her hair. It was her third morning in Kakashi's apartment, and it hadn't taken her long to figure out his schedule. He got up at an ungodly hour—usually while she was still asleep—and was gone for at least three hours; training, she assumed. He returned long enough to cook her breakfast, then left on his official duties.

And she was left at the apartment, alone, and with nothing to do but grieve and attempt to find a solution for the chakra seal. Though without a medical lab or books at her disposal, it had been rather difficult. She'd had no desire to try to regain any more memories, not after what had happened last time. Tsunade swallowed thickly. But three days was enough time to grieve for Nawaki. She couldn't take being holed up here any longer.

Of course, there was still the problem of her chakra-seal, but the past three days had given her plenty of rest, and she was almost feeling back to normal. She'd just have to avoid using any chakra.

Now, she only had to convince Kakashi to let her train with him. Tsunade opened the bottom drawer of the dresser and pulled out the clothes she'd snuck out in a henge to buy the second day she'd been here. She'd taken to wearing the older women's clothes she'd woken up in to bed, but she certainly wasn't going to go out in them. Tsunade quickly put on the form-fitting mesh shirt and shorts, then pulled on a short red skirt and a cut-off white blouse. _Ah, much better._ She tied her hair back in a high ponytail, then took a deep breath and marched out to confront the sleeping Kakashi.

Tsunade approached the couch, fully intending to shake him awake. But something about the silver-haired jōnin sprawled across the cushions, his bare feet sticking out past the blanket, made her hesitate. He still had his mask on, of course, but he somehow looked younger—more innocent—with his shaggy hair framing his face, free of the Leaf forehead protector, and wearing a simple sleeveless shirt instead of his uniform. One of his ninken was curled on his chest. But not asleep, as Pakkun lifted his head to stare at her. And then Tsunade realized Kakashi had opened his unscarred eye, and was gazing at her. She hadn't yet had the courage to ask what happened to his eye, though curiosity gnawed at her.

Kakashi patted Pakkun. "Maa, so you are awake. I thought I heard the sound of destruction. So, what is it this time?"

Tsunade scowled. It wasn't as if she'd destroyed everything in his apartment. This was only the second accident. "I will buy you a new one."

Though Kakashi's face was half-covered by a mask, she sensed his amusement. He sat up, and Pakkun gave her an undecipherable look before vanishing in a puff of smoke. "Well. I assume something has you up so early?"

Tsunade fought to keep her face neutral as Kakashi stretched, his bare arms flexing. She couldn't deny he had very nice arms, though that was the last thing she needed to be thinking about. "I want to train with you."

Kakashi stopped stretching, and tilted his head. "Train?"

Why was he acting like she'd grown two heads? Tsunade snapped, "That _is_ why you get up early every morning, isn't it?"

"You notice when I leave?" Kakashi's eyes crinkled. "Maa, I'm honored."

Tsunade's face burned. She had a distinct desire to strangle the silver-haired ninja, no matter how adorable he looked at the moment. "It's rather hard not to. For a jōnin, you aren't exactly quiet."

"Ah." Finally, Kakashi seemed a little embarrassed. "My apologies. I'm not used to having someone else in the apartment."

Tsunade winced inwardly. It was too easy to forget how much she owed Kakashi, especially when he acted like—like this. Still, she had her pride to consider. So, she only nodded at the dog hair covering the front of Kakashi's dark shirt. "Besides the dogs?" If she wasn't so annoyed, she might feel sorry for him. But her impatience got the best of her, as usual. "Well, are we training, or not?"

Kakashi stood, not bothering to brush off the dog hair. Suddenly, Tsunade became aware he stood mere inches away. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Sorry to disappoint, Tsunade-sama, but I don't train in the morning."

Tsunade refused to be the one to step back, so she had to tilt her head up to meet his gray gaze. And immediately regretted it. Kakashi and his masculine scent—a strange but enticing mixture of metal, pine, and a hint of dog—was entirely too close. "But... where do you go, then?"

Kakashi, too, seemed to realized how close they were, but he stepped back and cleared his throat. "To remember."

Tsunade turned, and could only watch in confusion as Kakashi walked to the door and pulled on his jōnin shirt, flak vest, and headband. He set his hand on the handle, but hesitated one second... two... three. Abruptly, he glanced back at her. "Would you, ah, like to come?"

Go _where_? Tsunade wanted to demand, but there was something in Kakashi's normally bored voice that made her pause. A sort of... vulnerability. So, she just nodded. "Hai. I would."

The _where_ , it turned out, was Konoha's cemetery.

Tsunade glanced at Kakashi out of the corner of her eye as they wandered among the headstones. This was what he did every day? Remembering those who were gone... because of his failures? "You come here every morning, then?"

Kakashi shrugged lightly. "Hai. And every afternoon. I might have failed them, but I won't forget them."

Tsunade faced the mist-shrouded path in front of them. Her heart ached for him; for his lost loved ones. Still, as much as she missed Nawaki, she knew living in the past wasn't right. Not when you had a present. She shivered in the morning air, regretting she hadn't brought a coat. "It's good to remember. But what about the people you have now?"

Kakashi's only response was to drape something warm and soft around her shoulders. Tsunade gazed down at her green haori in surprise. Had he been carrying that the entire time? "Oh. Thank you."

Kakashi studied her, as if debating whether to speak. Finally, he murmured, "I'm afraid all of my precious people are gone."

Tsunade stared after him as he continued down the path. Something tugged in her mind—a sense of familiarity. She'd…heard that before. But the memory refused to surface. She shook it off, and caught up to Kakashi. His words troubled her more than she cared to admit. "May I ask... why don't you have any more precious people? Surely you have friends. What about your team?"

Kakashi hummed. "Hai, I have friends. But... it's best not to get too close. Not for me. I don't want to cause any more harm."

Tsunade bit her lip. She almost reached out to take his hand, as she had by the riverbank, but the memory made her face burn. After all, she'd only known Kakashi for a few days, and she had no intention of doing such an intimate thing again. Still, her heart ached to tell him she knew exactly how he felt. She'd given Nawaki her necklace; her belief in him, and he had died the next day. It felt like a sign—no, it _was_ a sign. Her belief in him had meant nothing. For all she knew, he'd been in harm's way because of it.

Kakashi stopped, and Tsunade halted next to him. She stared down at the headstone in front of them for a long moment before the name sunk in.

Nawaki Senju.

Kakashi shifted, eying her almost anxiously. "Maa, I thought you might want to see it."

Tsunade crumpled to her knees, and tears poured freely down her cheeks. She'd cried for her brother, but it hadn't seemed real. Until now. She reached out and ran her trembling fingers across the name engraved in the cold stone. _Nawaki._ "He—he wanted to be hokage, you know."

Kakashi crouched next to her, his understanding eye fixed on her, silently encouraging her to continue.

Tsunade refocused on the tombstone. "Our parents both died on missions when we were young, so I raised Nawaki. I am—was—ten years older, so in some ways I was more like his mother. But he—he took care of me too. We looked out for each other. He was so proud when I became a jōnin, and he told me all the time that he knew I would become the greatest medical-nin ever. But I wasn't... not enough to save him."

Kakashi, too, looked at the stone. "He would be proud of you, Tsunade-sama. I know it."

Tsunade gripped her knees. Enough. She was grateful Kakashi had brought her to Nawaki's grave, but they were here for him. "Thank you for..." She gestured at the headstone helplessly. "All of this."

Kakashi only nodded. Tsunade pushed to her feet and exhaled deeply. "Will you show me yours?"

Kakashi's eye widened. He stood slowly, then gave another jerky nod. "Hai. This way."

They stopped first at the grave of Rin Nohara, his teammate, then Minato Namikaze's, and lastly, the memorial stone engraved with Obito Uchiha's name. Kakashi didn't say much; just introduced Tsunade, then gazed at the stones in silence and regret. Tsunade stood next him, sensing silent companionship was all he needed right now.

"Maa, well," Kakashi said suddenly, turning from the memorial stone, "we should be heading back."

Tsunade blinked. Already? The blush of sunrise rose above the trees, and she realized his intention. He wanted to get her back to the apartment before anyone saw her. She curled her fingers into fists. "We don't have to go back yet. I could... train with you for a little while."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think that's the best idea, Tsunade-sama. I was ordered to keep you out of sight."

Tsunade hated begging—or showing any kind of weakness—but she couldn't go back to the apartment and the solitary confinement of her thoughts. Not yet. "Please, Kakashi-san. I don't want to go back yet."

Kakashi stared at her. "Ah... well..."

An idea came to her, and Tsunade grinned. "How about a wager?" She pulled out the dice she always kept on her person, and extended them to Kakashi. "If I win, I get to train with you. If you win, I'll—I'll go back to the apartment."

Kakashi's perplexed stare dropped to the dice. "Maa, you really do like to gamble."

Tsunade shrugged, struggling to subdue her smile. Any gamble with a risk never failed to give her a thrill. She rattled the dice. "Well? Do you agree?"

Kakashi folded his arms. "It seems I don't have a choice. What's the game, then?"

"Choose even or odd. If I roll a number you didn't pick, I win. If not... you win." Tsunade dropped the dice into her other hand and raised her eyebrows.

"Maa, let's see..." Kakashi tapped his chin and gazed at her hands intently. "Even."

Tsunade nodded and sat cross-legged on the grass. She placed her free hand over her dice hand, and gave a vigorous shake. Kakashi crouched opposite of her. In spite of his feigned indifference, he didn't take his gray eye from her hands. She slammed her hand on the ground and slowly lifted it, heart pounding.

Two fours. An eight.

Tsunade slumped, barely concealing a groan. Why couldn't luck have been on her side for once? But whatever else she might be, she always kept her word. So...

"Well. Seems I won," Kakashi observed. If she didn't know better, he almost sounded disappointed. He stood, and offered her a gloved hand. "We'd better head back before anyone sees us."

Tsunade scowled and gathered her dice. But that didn't stop her from accepted his warm grip and letting him heft her to her feet. She brushed off her haori to disguise the tremble in her hands, and managed a stiff, "Fine."

Kakashi headed into the forest. But after a few minutes of walking, it became obvious they weren't taking the same way back to the apartment.

Tsunade sniffed. "What is this? A short cut?"

They entered a small clearing in front of the jagged cliffs that surrounded Konoha, and Kakashi stopped. He laced his fingers behind his neck, clearing his throat. "Ah, no. This is one of the more remote areas around Konoha. Hardly visited, so I think we're safe from anyone seeing us."

It took Tsunade a moment to process what Kakashi was saying. He was breaking his orders for her? Her cheeks heated, and she silently cursed her reaction. "You're saying... I can train with you?"

"Hai." Kakashi shrugged off his flak jacket, though he avoided her gaze for some reason. "But no using chakra. I won't risk that. So... I thought we could do some, uh, rock climbing."

Tsunade nodded. Rock climbing was some of the best training to do without chakra. It built strength and endurance, and trust in oneself. It was also often used for bonding exercises, but she pushed that thought away. Kakashi was a logical man, and he'd chosen this for logical reasons. "What are we waiting for, then?"

Tsunade had forgotten how strenuous rock-climbing could be. Or, more like, her body had forgotten. She cursed through her clenched teeth as she reached for another handhold several inches up. After only two hours, her arms were beginning to shake. What on earth had her fifty-one-year-old self been doing? Sitting around and sipping sake? She snorted. That would be ironic, as she didn't even drink. True, she had this chakra-seal, which surely wasn't helping. Tsunade blinked sweat out of her eyes and sent a sharp glare at her abdomen. That was the only acceptable explanation. She'd always taken great pride in her unmatched strength and endurance, and she refused to believe she'd lost it.

"Here's a closer handhold, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi lowered himself next to her, and tipped his chin at the crevice he'd mentioned. Nothing about his tone or demeanor indicated impatience, but Tsunade bristled anyway.

"I _don't_ need help," she snapped, ignoring his suggestion, and continued stretching for the protruding rock she'd chosen earlier.

"But partners are meant to help one another, are they not? There's no fault in that." Kakashi's quiet baritone sent shivers across her skin.

Partners? It would be stupid to read anything into his choice of words, but Tsunade couldn't help glancing at him as her fingers finally snagged the handhold. "I hardly think we're at that level of acquaintance ye—"

The rock under her fingertips crumbled. Already off balance, Tsunade shrieked as she fell backwards. For a paralyzing moment, she couldn't remember if using chakra would kill her—and that fatal second was one too many. She stretched for a handhold, but the cliff was already out of reach. An arm wrapped around her back, abruptly stopping her fall. Tsunade blindly reached for something—anything—as Kakashi lifted her with a grunt. Her hands found the sweat-dampened cloth of Kakashi's shirt, and she scrabbled up until her feet found purchase.

Tsunade gasped for breath and—her back pressed firmly against sun-warmed stone of the cliff wall—finally realized the position she'd put herself in. Kakashi had braced her against the cliff using chakra adhesion, his hands planted on either side of her shoulders as she gripped fistfuls of his shirt. And his face was less than an inch from hers. Her heart crashed erratically against her ribs, and it wasn't from her near-fall.

Kakashi, too, was panting, his chest heaving against her hands. He gave a soft chuckle. "Maa, that was a bit close. Don't you think?"

"H-hai." Tsunade's voice came out higher than she'd intended. She couldn't tear her gaze from Kakashi; not that she had anywhere else to look with him so close. His breath warmed her face, and she swallowed hard, cheeks tingling. "Thank you for, ah, catching me."

Kakashi's eye creased with a smile, but something smoldered in his iris's gray depths. "Gladly."

All at once, Tsunade became aware that they were practically pressed together in a very inappropriate manner—and simultaneously—that the heat of Kakashi's body against hers made her long for him to pull her closer. Horrified, Tsunade released his shirt, face flaming. Kakashi's eye widened, and his feet slipped out from under him. Instinct kicked in, and Tsunade twisted, grabbing a short ledge with her right hand and catching Kakashi's wrist with her left.

Kakashi stared up at her, then ducked his head as he latched himself back on to the cliff, clearly embarrassed he'd lost his concentration. "Maa, thanks."

Tsunade quickly faced upward, heart pounding. He hadn't been able to sense her feelings, had he? She started upward, determined not to look back. "We'd better get moving if we want to get to the top before noon."

Kakashi grunted agreement, and they climbed in silence the rest of the way.

Tsunade pulled herself over the top of the cliff, arms trembling and sweat beading her forehead. In spite of the embarrassment churning her gut, she couldn't help a grin of exhilaration. "That was a good climb."

"Hai," Kakashi agreed, a smile in his voice as he straightened next to her. To her immense relief, he seemed to have already forgotten their little incident. Kakashi glanced up at the afternoon sun, and ran his fingers through his silver hair. "Ah, I have a few duties to attend to. Mind if we walk home?"

 _Home_. The word filled Tsunade's chest with a strange warmth, and she ducked her head before he saw her smile. "Hai. Lead the way."

They arrived at the apartments from the back, and Kakashi halted in front of the rusty staircase. "I was thinking... we deserve a reward after all that hard work." He faced her, hands in his pockets. "How about when I finish my assignments, I'll return around seven and we can go get something to eat."

Butterflies erupted in Tsunade's stomach. Like—like a... date? She swallowed hard. Surely not. Their, ah, close proximity on the cliff must have addled her brain and brought on these unwanted thoughts. Besides, she'd never been on a date. Not that she hadn't been asked—including by Jiraiya—several times, but she'd been too busy with missions, training, and taking care of Nawaki to give it much thought. And, if she were honest, there hadn't been anyone she was interested in going out with.

Until now?

Tsunade gave herself a hard, mental shake. For heaven's sake, she had to remember she was fifty-one, not twenty-two, no matter what her memories, or lack thereof, made her feel like. Kakashi knew that as well as she did, which meant this was a dinner between friends. Or, even more likely, colleagues.

Kakashi was watching her almost nervously, as if he thought she might refuse. Tsunade smiled in amusement. As if she would say no to free food. "Hai, I think a treat would be nice."

Kakashi's eye curved in a smile, and suddenly, more than anything, Tsunade wished she could see the smile on his face. The sharpness of the longing startled her, and she immediately shoved it down deep. _Very_ deep. She could only hope her expression hadn't betrayed any of her thoughts.

"Maa, see you at seven, then, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi bowed, then strolled away, apparently oblivious to the turmoil in her mind.

Tsunade watched him go, and sighed, defeated. There was no going around it. The way her heart beat faster when the silver-haired jōnin was around, the happiness she felt when he talked to her, listened to her, or even just looked at her. The way her stomach fluttered when he smiled at her...

How she, oh, so, desperately, stupidly, wished this was a date.

Tsunade groaned, wanting to bash her head against the wall. Why did she feel this way? Truly, she was hopeless.

Hopelessly falling for a certain Kakashi Hatake.


	18. Shadows and Stars

Sometimes, Kakashi wondered how he'd gained the title of genius. He sighed, regretfully gazing at the sun beams shining through the trees. It was times like this that he seriously doubted the judgement of his fellow shinobi. Asking Tsunade to dinner? What had he been thinking? The obvious answer, of course, was that he hadn't. When he was around her, it was as if he lost all semblance of logical thought.

But the harder question; what was he going to do? He couldn't very well take her to eat in Konoha. One glimpse of them together would start whispers that would last for weeks. An unfortunate side-effect of being known as a consistently-single, solitary ninja. Granted, they could both wear henges, but he had to admit the idea held no appeal to him. Why would he want to stare at another woman's face while eating dinner with Tsunade? No, he needed to think of something—

"Look out, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto's shout was followed by the whistle of a shuriken passing inches from Kakashi's ear.

Kakashi brought his attention abruptly back to his students, and rubbed his barely-unscathed ear. Well. That's what he got for letting his attention wander while Naruto was throwing sharp projectiles.

"Naruto!" Sakura yelped angrily, fists clenched at her sides. "You almost hit Kakashi-sensei! Watch where you're throwing those!"

Naruto reddened. "Sorry, Sakura-chan." He brightened. "Maybe you could give me some pointers?"

Sakura huffed, marching toward the furthest target. "I don't think so."

Kakashi watched Naruto slump despondently after Sakura. Sasuke still wasn't recovered enough to return to training, but he had figured it had been too long since Team 7 had worked together. Thus, he'd summoned Naruto and Sakura for an afternoon of target practice, of which he was a strong believer there could never be enough of. But if he were honest, he was far too distracted for any heavier training.

He mulled over his problem. Perhaps he could pick up food somewhere and just take Tsunade on a picnic. There was a nice place up atop the cliffs; not far from where they'd gone climbing, actually. Kakashi couldn't resist a smile at the memory—he broke it off sternly. Now was not the time to recall how it felt to have Tsunade's body pressed close to his. Or how— _stop it, Hatake._

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. Back to his problem. A remote picnic didn't solve the issue of taking her out in the first place. If she wasn't his hokage... if they weren't from different generations... if she hadn't lost her memories... He knew it was too many ifs. But he couldn't very well cancel it. He was many things, but he wasn't that type of man. And if he were honest with himself _,_ he didn't want to back out _._ In fact, he couldn't remember when he'd looked forward to something so much. Well. That settled it. He'd pick up some food and take his hokage on a simple picnic.

Satisfied, Kakashi brushed off his hands. What could go wrong? Now that he had a plan firmly settled in his mind, he was ready to take action. He called Naruto and Sakura back, and took in their slightly ruffled appearance. Perhaps he should implement more team-building exercises in the future. "Maa, good work, team. I think that was an excellent practice. You're dismissed for the day."

Naruto scoffed. "How do you know? You weren't even watching, Kakashi-sensei."

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura punched his arm with a scowl, then smiled at Kakashi, though her green gaze focused past him, toward the hospital. "Thanks for the lesson, Sensei! I'd better be going now."

Naruto watched her go, blue eyes forlorn as he sighed, "Where d' you think she's going, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hmm. I imagine she's going to visit Sasuke." Kakashi scratched the back of his head, distinctly uncomfortable at the realization he could now sympathize with Sakura's urgency. In fact, he was feeling it now.

"I bet you're right," Naruto grumbled. His fist tapped against his thigh in a nervous rhythm as he glanced up at Kakashi. "How, um, is Tsunade-baachan? I wanted to go see her yesterday, but Shizune wouldn't let me. I don't even know where she is! Do you know, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hai. She is well." Kakashi slid his hands in his pockets, and eyed his scruffy genin. So, Naruto was still worried about her. And who could blame him? "But she still doesn't have her memories back, so no one is allowed to see her."

Naruto's blue eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Except you, Kakashi-sensei? You'd better be treating her decently, even if she falls for your charms."

Kakashi opened and closed his mouth. What was Naruto—? "Maa... what charms?"

Naruto stabbed a finger at him. "Don't act dumb. I heard Guy-sensei talking about it. Tsunade-baachan is too smart for that, but she doesn't remember anything." He wrinkled his nose. "You're always watching her and talking secretly to her in the dark. And I know you were thinking about her while we were training, 'cause you were distracted. The only things that distract you are Ero Sennin's books and Tsunade-baachan."

Naruto looked pleased with his deductions, but Kakashi found himself at a loss. "It's... not... that is..."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said dismissively, flapping his hand. "Anyway, Tsunade-baachan is happier when she's with you, and I want her to be happy. Believe it!"

Kakashi stood, frozen. Tsunade was…happier around him? He shook himself, hard. Now was _not_ the time to be thinking of such things. "Maa, thanks for keeping quiet, Naruto."

"Sure." Naruto gazed in the direction of the hospital wistfully. "I guess I could go visit Sasuke too, right Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi exhaled in relief. "Ay. Go ahead, Naruto."

As soon as Naruto scampered off after Sakura, Kakashi flashed up into the trees. It was nearly seven, and he still needed to get food. A dismal thought occurred to him. He'd never actually been on a picnic before, especially not with a girl. It would take all of his improvising skill not to mess this up. And it meant he needed to buy a picnic basket and blanket as well.

Twenty-six minutes and sixteen seconds later, a panting and disheveled Kakashi walked quickly toward his apartment, arms full with a packed picnic basket and a nice, soft blue blanket. But just as he reached the stairway, he stopped in his tracks. This wasn't a date—certainly not, no matter what Naruto said—but he didn't exactly look presentable for a dinner with anyone, much less his hokage.

Kakashi's arms tightened around the basket and blanket. This _was_ a dilemma. Should he be on time... or look nice for her? Neither option was preferable. He glanced down at his full arms, fighting his growing panic. Not to mention he should already have the food and blanket already set up at their destination, like he'd put a lot of thought and care into it. And with the growing dusk, maybe candles too? No, no. That was much too romantic, and would send the wrong idea. Besides, in his current state, he would probably set the entire forest on fire. Kakashi silently cursed himself. He was a jōnin, for crying out loud. A supposed genius, and he couldn't even figure this—

 _Shadow clones_. Of course. He really was an idiot.

Kakashi set down his bundles and formed the sign. Two clones appeared; one identical to himself, and one without his flak jacket and gloves, plus a pressed uniform and slightly less messy hair than usual. He sent his identical clone off with the basket and blanket, then faced the apartment. Once his better self got Tsunade out of the apartment, he'd sneak in to take a quick shower and clean up. Then, he'd catch up to his clone and distract Tsunade long enough to switch places. The plan was perfect.

And it was seven. Kakashi nodded to his clone. "Go."

As the clone headed up the stairs, Kakashi silently leaped to the rooftop to watch and wait. His clone knocked, and waited. Kakashi's fingers tightened on the roof gable, suddenly wishing it was him, instead of a clone, down there to greet Tsunade. Annoyed, he shook his head. Was he really jealous of—

The door opened, and Tsunade stepped out. Kakashi's stomach dropped. Clearly, Tsunade had no idea how her skirt and cut-off blouse showed off her toned figure flawlessly. Kakashi exhaled slowly. It was obvious why she was called the most beautiful kunoichi in the world. He smiled ruefully. And if she knew his thoughts right now, she'd knock him senseless.

Kakashi sighed. Which was why he needed to stop this inappropriate train of thought immediately. No matter how attractive he found her, nothing would— _could_ —come of it. Never mind that he was having a harder and harder time convincing himself of that. Not that it was all his fault. Tsunade's handhold crumbling on the cliff? A coincidence. Granted, there had been no need for him to hold her so close, but the heat of her body and the scent of her hair had pulled him in, as if he were a helpless fish on a reel. Really, he thought he'd showed great self-control by not kissing her. Because with her face inches from his, that had been the only thought in his mind.

Kakashi blinked hard, ridding himself of the memory. Idiot. He had no right, _no right at all_ , to be thinking about kissing Tsunade. He needed to do better in keeping himself out of these situations.

Below, his clone offered his arm. "Well, are you ready, Tsunade-sama?"

"You'd better not be taking me anywhere questionable, Kakashi Hatake." But in spite of her words, Tsunade smiled and took his clone's arm. She _did_ look happier. Or maybe he was imagining it because Naruto had addled his brain. Only then did Kakashi notice she was wearing her pink lipstick. The mix of the old and new Tsunade... he liked it. He liked it a lot— _Stop it, fool._

His clone cleared his throat. "I ah, hope you don't mind, but I thought a picnic would be nice. I know a good spot up atop the cliffs."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, but her slight smile lingered. "Why would I mind? A picnic sounds nice."

Kakashi squeezed his eye shut, cursing everything he could think of. Including his clone. Why, _why_ , had he done this? When he opened his eyes, Tsunade and his clone were already halfway down the street. There was no time to lose. Kakashi leaped down and rushed inside, showering so quickly he hardly felt the water. He dressed in his cleanest pants and uniform shirt, but left off his flak vest and gloves, like his clone. He ran his hand through his damp silver hair a couple of times, then reached the door in two steps and flung it open.

Revealing Jiraiya standing in the doorway, his fist raised to knock. The Sannin blinked. "Ah, Kakashi. Good timing." Jiraiya took in Kakashi's fresh uniform and damp hair, and raised an eyebrow. "I heard Tsunade was here, and I would like to speak with her. Where is she?"

Not good. Kakashi found his voice. "Ah, about that. She's not here."

"Not here?" Jiraiya frowned. "I thought she wasn't supposed to show herself in the village. Her memory is gone, isn't it?"

If Jiraiya found out why Tsunade was gone... Kakashi swallowed. No, this wasn't good at all. Not to mention Tsunade and his clone were likely almost to the cliffs by now. "Hai, but she knows that. She just wanted a bit of, ah, alone time." He shrugged for added effect. "Who am I to stop the Godaime when she has her mind set?"

"I see." Jiraiya studied him, and a slow smile crept across his face. "And you're taking the opportunity to go see a lady friend, eh?" He laughed uproariously. "And here I thought you were the solitary type."

"I, well—that is—not exactly—"

"Ah, don't worry, Kakashi-san." Jiraiya clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I understand. You like to keep your life private. So..." He leaned in close, eyes gleaming. "Who is she?"

Kakashi's mind promptly went blank. All he could focus on was the need to get away from Jiraiya and find Tsunade. Resolve filled his chest. "Maa, well..." He winked at Jiraiya, and slipped past the Sannin to leap over the rail, calling over his shoulder, "Tsunade, of course!"

Confidant that would throw Jiraiya off, Kakashi ran through the streets with a heart-pounding urgency he'd never felt before. Tsunade and his clone had to already be at the picnic his other clone had set up. Frustration tugged at his steps. So far, his plan was definitely not going how he'd hoped. Kakashi reached the bottom of the cliffs in record time, and bent his knees to start his ascent. He still wasn't sure how he would take his clone's place, but he intended to have a plan by the time he reached the top.

"Ah, Kakashi!" Guy's cheerful voice boomed behind him. "I see I have caught you at a good time."

Kakashi had never been brought to the point of wanting to pull his hair out. Until now. His fingers twitched, but he turned, somehow managing his usual bored tone. "Maa, what is it, Guy?"

Guy's grin was blinding. "A new challenge, rival! I heard you were back from your mission, so naturally, it seemed the time to prove, once and for all, who is the superior shinobi."

"Naturally." Kakashi longed to glance up the cliffside, but didn't. Knowing Guy, he would take that to mean the next challenge would be racing to the top. Right in front of Tsunade and his clone.

"...then we will—" Guy stopped his spiel. He leaned forward, sniffing Kakashi suspiciously. "I say. You smell of the freshness of youth. Are you going somewhere... special?"

Kakashi seized the opportunity. "Maa, well, I'm meeting with someone."

"Ah!" Guy's eyes glowed and he gave a big thumbs-up and flashing smile. "I see the passion of youth has gotten to you at last, my friend! Don't be afraid to hold back! Shower your lady with all you love and affection!"

Kakashi could only stare as Guy jogged off, too stunned to come up with a response. Both Guy and Jiraiya... he was going to have a big mess to clean up—once he fixed his even bigger problem. Chakra surged through his feet, and he sprang up the cliffside, flying from ledge to ledge. Kakashi reached the top and slipped behind a tree. He moved forward, shifted from tree to tree, until he was about thirty feet from the small, open space next to the cliff where he'd had his clone set up the picnic. And where Tsunade and his clone stood, gazing out at the spread of Konoha. Most of the food was gone. Tsunade's back was to him, but there was something about the set of her shoulders—

Tsunade struck out with her fist, colliding with the back of his clone's skull. The clone flew out into empty air and vanished in a puff of smoke. Without turning, Tsunade said flatly, "So. You finally showed up."

Kakashi hadn't realized he was gaping until he snapped his mouth shut. She had just... knocked him off the cliff. He stepped out from the tree, stomach churning. This was not going to go well. How long had she known he was a clone? "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. I—"

"And stop calling me that. I'm not your hokage. Not now." Tsunade faced him, eyes blazing. "Let me guess. You had too much to do, so you thought I wouldn't notice if you sent a clone in your place. Is that it?"

Kakashi halted ten feet away, the void in his chest throbbing. He sensed she probably didn't want him any closer, and he couldn't blame her. How could this have gone so wrong? "No. I finished at seven, but I wasn't—I didn't think I was presentable. I sent the shadow clone with you while I cleaned up, then I intended to catch up before you reached the cliffs. I didn't want you to think... I didn't want to be late."

Tsunade stared at him, mouth tight and honey eyes glistening. "Do you think I would have cared if you were a little late?"

Kakashi hesitated. He couldn't very well admit this was his first time going somewhere with a girl, and... he might have panicked, not wanting to mess up. What would she think of him then? "I'm sorry. I thought the clone—"

"I didn't want to spend my evening with your clone! I wanted to spend it with you!" Tsunade flushed, as if realizing what she'd said, and she spun back to face the village, fists clenched at her sides.

Kakashi stared at her, slowly processing her words. In spite of himself, a surge of hope rose in his chest. Naruto was... right? She truly wanted to spend time with him? _Had_ wanted, he reminded himself. His idiotic choices had seen to that. He approached Tsunade cautiously, searching for the right words.

But Tsunade beat him to it. "You know... it's strange to see the village when we're not at war. I've never seen it so peaceful."

Kakashi winced at her abrupt subject change. He stopped behind her, so she didn't have to see him. Still... maybe he could salvage this. He studied Konoha over her shoulder. In his opinion, nothing was as beautiful as his village in the sunset. He glanced at Tsunade's profile, blonde hair tossed by the wind and set aglow by the fiery sun. Well, except for one thing. "You helped bring about this peace."

Tsunade stiffened at his voice, but she only folded her arms and huffed in answer.

Kakashi eased a little closer. "These days, you are known as the one who created the modern system for medical-nin. Your ideas and rules for medical-nin are responsible for saving many lives, including mine."

"So... they finally listened to me." Tsunade's shoulders relaxed at last. She glanced back at him, expression void of anger. Instead, a careful neutrality had settled over her features. Which, in his opinion, was even worse. Tsunade hardly ever bothered to hide her feelings, so if she was making an effort to do so... Kakashi swallowed as Tsunade added flatly, "We should head back. It's getting dark."

Kakashi dipped his head, silently cursing himself. The evening was over, and he had no one to blame but himself for missing it. And he knew without a doubt he wouldn't get another opportunity. This had been his one chance to spend time with Tsunade, and he'd ruined it for both of them. He sighed. Well. Perhaps it was better this way. What had he wanted to happen? Nothing could come of it, and he knew that. Still, in spite of everything, a small part of him had hoped...

Kakashi led the way back down the cliff and approached Konoha. Neither spoke, but he knew he deserved every ounce of discomfort he felt. He clenched his teeth. Why had he thought the shadow clone would be a good idea? He was an idiot. An idiot who had ruined the evening for Tsunade too. After everything that had happened, she'd deserved a break. And he'd somehow managed to make it even worse.

"I can hardly see anything in this dark," Tsunade grumbled, finally breaking the silence as they entered the unlit back streets of Konoha. Then her hand slid into Kakashi's, startling him so much he forgot to breathe. Wasn't she... angry at him?

But Tsunade only smiled faintly, her features barely visible. "Since you're half Inuzuka, you can see in the dark to make sure I don't fall, right?"

Maybe he _had_ somehow salvaged this. Her touch was sending spasms through his brain, but Kakashi managed a strangled-sounding, "A-ah, hai."

Asuma was right; no matter how skilled a ninja became in observation and prediction, there was no understanding the mind of a woman. Not that he wasn't relieved with Tsunade's mood change. But in case he was misreading her, he decided to apologize again. "Maa, I am sorry for using shadow clones. It was—is—my first time doing this, and I didn't want to mess it up for you." He cleared his throat. "I wasn't anticipating running into both Jiraiya and Guy. I was looking forward to, ah, spending my evening with you, too."

Tsunade glanced up at him. It was hard to tell, but he was fairly certain her expression had softened. But she only said, "Jiraiya? What did he want?"

"He wanted to speak with you." Kakashi scratched his chin uncomfortably. "I'm afraid he didn't say about what."

"No matter." Tsunade smirked. "I wonder how age has treated him. Tell me, is he as perverted as ever?"

"Ahh, hai. I'm afraid so." Kakashi sent her a sideways look. "He was also the one who suggested you for the position of Godaime Hokage."

Tsunade's blonde eyebrows lifted. Then she scoffed, "Likely so he could avoid the position himself. He did the same thing when Hiruzen-sensei was deciding the leadership of our team for a mission. He never has liked leading."

It was the first time he'd ever heard Tsunade talk about her time in Konoha's legendary team, and Kakashi couldn't help his curiosity. "Who became the leader of your squad, then?"

Tsunade shrugged lightly. "I did."

They walked up the apartments, and Kakashi silently savored the last few seconds of feeling Tsunade's hand in his. He might have ruined their evening, but at least he would have one good memory from it.

Tsunade stopped at the foot of the stairs and sighed, lifting her eyes to the sky. His heart lurched when she didn't release his hand. Almost as if... she didn't want it to end either. "The stars are beautiful tonight, aren't they?"

Kakashi let his gaze linger on the gleam of her blonde hair and the curve of her neck. If she caught him staring, these could very well be his last moments. But right now, he didn't care. "Hai. Beautiful."

And then he realized her words hadn't been just a comment, but a hint. Kakashi hesitated, and swallowed painfully. But no. He should end this. _This_ , that should have never begun. But after twenty years of grief, darkness, and regret... he longed for at least a moment of happiness. Was that too much to ask?

Kakashi tightened his grip on Tsunade's hand. _Just this once._ "Maa, well... would you like to look at the stars for a little while? The roof should have a fairly good view."

Tsunade smiled, and to him, shone more than any star. "I would like that, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi smiled back, in spite of his mask, though a pang in his chest reminded him of the teasing way Tsunade had called him _Kakashi-kun_ on their mission. But she didn't remember any of that, and if she did, she certainly wouldn't be going up on his apartment roof to stargaze with him. Guilt surged through him as Tsunade released his hand to leap up the apartment building, and he followed close behind.

Were his actions betraying who Tsunade had been—and would be again, once she regained her memory? Was he taking advantage of her? Kakashi settled on the rooftop next to Tsunade, gut churning. He'd thought that Tsunade—before her memory loss—might have felt something for him, but he'd gotten to know her well enough to guess she wouldn't have acted on it.

_What was he doing?_

Tsunade's murmur interrupted his thoughts. "You know... no one has ever done anything like this for me before." She glanced at him, then her gaze darted away. "So, um, I wanted to say thank you."

Her words hit harder than one of her punches. Of course. She didn't remember Dan or anything she'd shared with him. Kakashi cleared his throat. "Maa, it's nothing." Guilt prompted him to add, "Have—have you thought about trying to get any more of your memories back?"

Tsunade shivered, and shifted closer. She rested her head on his shoulder, and Kakashi froze, unable to move or breathe. "Maybe," she whispered. "But I don't want to think about that now. I want to enjoy... this."

Kakashi gazed down at her blonde head, aching, everything in him contradicting, his emotions ripping him to shreds. He couldn't help but wonder; was this what it would have been like if they'd grown up in the same generation? Unhindered by status, age... and their pasts? Anger boiled up inside of him; anger at what was, what had been, and what couldn't be. He was sick of it. He'd decided to enjoy this moment with Tsunade, hadn't he? He would never get another. The finality of the thought sank in, and with that, Kakashi threw caution to the wind. By all the shinobi gods, he wasn't going to blow this chance.

Before his surge of boldness left him, Kakashi moved his hand a few inches to cover Tsunade's, lacing his large, rough fingers through her small ones. "Hai, it would be a shame not to enjoy such a peaceful night."

Though with Tsunade's warm body pressed against his side and the wild, erratic beating of his heart, he was feeling anything but peaceful.

Tsunade tipped her head up just enough to gaze at him. "I've been wondering... when did I first meet you?"

With her looking at him like that, Kakashi found it hard to summon the will to refuse her. Besides, telling her one thing from her past wouldn't hurt. "Maa, well, it was in the Third Shinobi World War. I was on a mission, badly wounded, and surrounded by enemy shinobi. I thought I was going to die, but you appeared and took out all of the Iwa-nin. You healed me, and we went our separate ways. After that, you left the village for several years. But..." He hesitated, and cleared his throat again. "I never forgot you."

Tsunade didn't answer, but she pulled her hand free of his and nestled closer to his side.

Kakashi blinked at his cold and empty hand. Then, feeling like a fool, he realized what she wanted. Carefully, he extracted his hand from between them, and, holding his breath, slid his arm around Tsunade, pulling her closer. He winced inwardly. _Gods, he was so bad at this._ What if she didn't want to be that close to him? What if—

Tsunade sighed contentedly, and leaned into Kakashi's embrace, sending warm currents through his body. Behind the safety of his mask, he was unable to stop a foolish, sappy grin. Maybe he wasn't completely hopeless. And he'd even managed to do it without drawing from the inspirations of _Icha Icha_.

Tsunade murmured sleepily, "Will you show me your favorite stars?"

Kakashi obliged, first pointing out the smaller, but constant, constellations. There was something about permanence that drew him, perhaps because he'd never had it in his own life. Then he moved on to the larger, brighter stars—inwardly comparing them to the passionate fire in Tsunade's eyes—though, really, there was no comparison. He smiled ruefully to himself. And how often had he gained amusement at Asuma's expense when the latter made such comments about Kurenai?

Kakashi glanced down, and found himself gazing at Tsunade's closed eyes and slightly-parted lips, her breathing slow and even. Hmm. How far into his talking had she fallen asleep?

Kakashi gathered Tsunade into his arms, and softly leaped down to his apartment. After getting the door open, he carried her into his room and lowered her into bed. He tucked the blanket around her—and after a moment's hesitation, quickly exited the room before his thoughts ran away from him. Kakashi closed the door behind him, and stared at it for several seconds, as if that would make the ache in his heart go away. He closed his eye, and sighed deeply. Well. That was it.

At least he'd had tonight.


	19. One Too Many

Had it all been a dream?

Tsunade cradled the warm cup of tea she'd found waiting for her on the kitchen table, and breathed in the morning air as she leaned against the railing of Kakashi's small back patio. She closed her eyes, lingering in the memories of last night. Of the tingling warmth of Kakashi's arm around her, and his chest rumbling against her while he talked. Of the glowing feeling of happiness.

Tsunade gazed down at her tea—her proof—and was unable to stop a smile. She didn't remember falling asleep while stargazing, but she'd awoken in her bed, and realized Kakashi must have carried her there. He was gone by the time she got up—granted, she had slept in a little—but when she saw the tea he'd made for her, warm giddiness filled her from head to toe.

Kakashi Hatake cared for her. If she wasn't certain before last night, she was now.

Tsunade traced the rim of the ceramic cup with a finger. She also knew that she'd never felt this way about anyone. Wouldn't Nawaki be surprised to see her now? He'd always teased her about her lack of a love life, and though she'd tease him back, the truth of his comments had stung a little.

The now-familiar ache of grief dulled the warmth in her chest. What she wouldn't give to have her little brother back.

A flash of spiky blond hair caught her attention. Naruto—the little genin whom she hadn't seen since they'd returned to Konoha—was walking down the alley, kicking at pebbles as he went. She frowned. Didn't he have any friends to walk around with? For that matter, where were his parents?

"Hey, little gaki!" she called. "Shouldn't you be training at a time like this?"

Naruto spun, his blue eyes wide. He burst in a huge grin at the sight of her, and for a moment, it was like she'd caught a glimpse of Nawaki. "Tsunade-baachan! I was just about to go look for you!"

Look for her? He actually wanted to see her? Tsunade smiled, and tipped her chin at the otherwise-empty balcony. "Come on up here, then."

Naruto didn't need a second invitation. He sprang up to the second story, and perched on the rail. Tsunade bit back a warning to be careful. If he was anything like Nawaki, a warning would only serve as a dare. Naruto tilted his head, studying her. "Kakashi-sensei said you still don't remember you're the hokage."

Tsunade propped her hip against the rail with a sigh. "No," she admitted. "But you said you wanted to become hokage, didn't you? How about you just take over for me? I doubt anyone would notice."

Naruto almost fell off the railing. "Really, Tsunade-baachan?" He scrambled to his feet as if unable to contain himself, and Tsunade winced as he stood, legs braced, atop the narrow rail. "You—you really think I could do it?"

"Sure." Tsunade suppressed a smile. Her gaze fell on the necklace that had fallen out from Naruto's jacket, and she nearly dropped her cup of tea. _Wh-what—how?_ She pointed at the necklace, unable to keep her finger from trembling. "Where—where did you get that necklace?"

Naruto's brow furrowed, and he poked at the necklace. _Her_ necklace. The necklace she had given Nawaki right before his death. "Eh, this? You gave it to me, remember? Because I won the bet."

A bet? No, no. That couldn't be right. She would never, _never_ bet that necklace. There had be another reason. Tsunade fixed her gaze on the crystal dangling around Naruto's neck and fought to keep her emotions under control. "What... what did I say? When I gave you the necklace?"

Naruto squinted. "Well, I think I was unconscious when you gave it to me... but later you told me to achieve my dream of becoming hokage. And I will! Believe it!" He eyed her almost nervously. "Did you, um, want it back?"

 _Achieve your dream._ Tsunade smiled, and lifted her gaze from the necklace. So, she had found someone else to follow Nawaki's dream. "No. Keep it, Naruto-kun. Live your dream."

Naruto grinned, clearly relieved. "Thanks, Tsunade-baachan!" He slid off the rail, but paused before he reached the stairway. "I hope you get your memories back soon. Konoha needs you, believe it!" He shifted and glanced up at her, rubbing the back of his neck. "When I'm hokage, I want—I want to be one like you."

Tsunade blinked as the full weight of his words hit her. "Naruto..."

As if realizing he'd said too much, Naruto's ears flushed red, and he darted off with a backwards wave and a shouted, "Bye, Tsunade-baachan!"

"Goodbye, little gaki!" Tsunade waved after him, heart warm and full. She watched the orange genin until he was out of sight, and smiled. Hai, she'd chosen well. There was certainly more to Naruto Uzumaki than met the eye.

Tsunade shook herself. What was she doing? Konoha needed her, and here she stood, doing nothing. She had to get her memories back, no matter how painful, and last night with Kakashi—and now her conversation with Naruto—had given her the strength she needed. Tsunade gulped the last of the tea for an added measure of resolve, then moved inside to sit cross-legged on the couch. She let out a long breath and clasped her hands. And focused.

By directing her chakra along her neural pathways, she was able to find the memory pathways that were blocked. Only by using chakra to reopen them, was she able to regain the memory. Unfortunately, it required extreme, pin-point chakra control and strength, of a level that she was fairly certain only she was capable of. And with the ever-gnawing chakra seal, it was even more draining.

Tsunade reached the first block, and a memory, hazy at first, slowly grew in her mind.

 _She stood in a muddy field with Jiraiya and Orochimaru, the only survivors against the powerful shinobi, Hanz_ _ō_ _. Exhaustion and desperation dragged at her limbs, but she refused to give in. She was fighting for Nawaki's memory. They gained the name Sannin that day, and soon the whole shinobi world had heard of them._

_But to Tsunade, it hardly mattered. Why would it, when her fellow Konoha shinobi wouldn't hear her? Ever since Nawaki's death, she pushed for more medical-nins to be included on teams. To save more lives. And every time, her words fell on deaf ears._

_Until one day, another voice joined hers. Agreed with her._

_Tsunade spun, staring at the fellow jōnin with long silver-blue hair who had dared to back her up. She recognized him: Dan Kat_ _ō_ _. A shinobi who was a few years older than her, but graduated later than she had._

_He met her gaze steadily, dark green eyes determined. "I agree."_

As if the floodgates of her mind had been opened, memories poured through _._

_Dan walking her home. Dan wishing her well on her next mission. Dan being the first one to greet her when she returned. Dan taking her to eat so they could continue their conversation. Dan taking her hand and telling her she was beautiful._

_Dan asking her on a date._

_Dan taking her on a walk in a rare moment of free time._

_Dan promising he would always return to her._

_Dan telling her of his dream to become hokage. Just like Nawaki._

_Tsunade realizing, in that moment, that she loved Dan Kat_ _ō_ _. That she wanted to entrust him with her dream. With her future._

_And, two days later, Dan bleeding out in her arms. No matter what she did. No matter how she screamed. The three months of happiness with Dan had been the first she'd felt since Nawaki's death. Now, that had been ripped away too. Just as Dan's life was ripped from her blood-covered hands._

Tsunade's eyes flew open, chest heaving. Somehow, she had crumpled on the floor. Dan. _Dan_. She clutched her pounding head as the tears flowed.

What had she done?

Was everyone she loved destined to die?

A black wave of grief, guilt, and everything in between, rushed over her, crushing her to the floor. Tsunade wrapped her arms around her middle and huddled against the couch, unable to stop shaking. Unable to stop the torment in her mind, in her heart. She'd given her necklace to Naruto... what if the same thing happened to him? She wouldn't be able to bear it if he—if he...

She didn't know how long she was there, crying and trembling, but it seemed like days.

Somewhere in the distance, the door creaked open. A pause. Then—

"Tsunade-sama?" Footsteps rushed across the room, and warm hands gripped her shoulders. "Tsunade, what happened? Are you hurt?"

Tsunade lifted her head, though it seemed to weigh a hundred pounds, and found Kakashi's face inches from hers, gray eye dark with worry. _Kakashi_. She wasn't alone. He would understand her pain. "Dan. I—I remember Dan."

Kakashi's hold on her shoulders loosened, and he sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Tsunade. I'm sorry you had to go through that again. If... if I could take it for you, I swear I would."

Tsunade blinked through her tears, finally noticing the careful distance he'd kept between them. But she didn't need distance. Everyone else was gone. She needed _him_. She curled her trembling fingers into fists. But she couldn't take what wasn't offered. A strange, yet familiar longing tugged at her.

A way to forget. A way out of the pain. She'd never been the kind to drink, but there was a first time for everything. Right now, she couldn't take any more.

Tsunade pushed to her feet, steadying herself against the couch. "I—I need a drink."

Kakashi, too, stood, every muscle in his body tense. But instead of objecting, he nodded, and placed his hand on her back. "All right."

* * *

Three hours later, Kakashi caught Tsunade for the fifth time as they made their way back to the apartment under the half moon. He waited patiently until she regained her footing, then continued on, keeping a hand on his drunken hokage's elbow for when she stumbled again.

Tsunade clutched his arm, and stared up at him, cheeks flushed from too much sake. She squinted. "Dan? Why'd you... cut your hair?"

She thought he was Dan? Kakashi opened his mouth to correct her, but one glance at her red-rimmed eyes stopped him. "Ah, well. I thought you'd like it."

"I _do_ like it," Tsunade said reproachfully. Then her head swiveled, as if just noticing their surroundings. "Wait, D-Dan. Where—where are we going? My house isn't... over here."

Kakashi cleared his throat. This could get sticky. "We're, ah, going to my apartment. You're drunk, and I don't want you to be alone."

Tsunade stopped so suddenly, Kakashi nearly tripped. She held up an index finger, eyes narrowed. "All—all right. But you'd better behave yourself. None of..." she waved her other hand vaguely, "that stuff. Until we're married. Got it?"

This conversation was getting awkward, fast. But Kakashi nodded solemnly. "Of course."

That seemed to satisfy Tsunade, so they continued down the street. Until she halted sharply ten seconds later, stopping Kakashi with her. Tsunade's wide, golden-brown eyes glistened with tears as she stared at him. "You—you do want to marry me, don't you? I know we... talked about it, but..."

Though this was just a result of her excessive drinking, Kakashi's heart ached for her. Because it would never happen. She would never have what she so clearly longed for with Dan. But... if he couldn't give her that, he could give her the next best thing. Before he could think about it too long, he took both of Tsunade's hands in his and gazed into her eyes. The eyes that never failed to hypnotize him.

"Tsunade. You are beautiful and perfect. " Kakashi brushed his fingers along Tsunade's jaw, tipping her head up. "You make me feel alive. Whole. I feel... I feel as though I can't live without you." Kakashi blinked, and lowered his hand. Where had those words come from? He'd never said—or thought—such things in his entire life. And he hadn't even borrowed from _Icha Icha_.

His heart thumped. He knew why. Because he'd meant every word.

Tsunade stared at him, pink lips slightly parted, as if she'd never seen him before. Kakashi hastily stepped back, gaining needed space between them, and pointed ahead to the corner. "Maa, we'd better get going. My apartment is just there."

Tsunade obediently stumbled alongside him, only bumping into his side two or three times. Kakashi half-carried her up the apartment's stairway and guided her to his door. "Here, Tsunade-sama."

Thankfully, the key only stuck once, so he got the door open quickly. He nodded at Tsunade to enter, but she didn't move, instead frowning at him in confusion. "Why... why are you wearing a mask?"

"It's not important." Kakashi gently nudged her inside and stepped in behind her, shutting the door. He stripped off his flak jacket and headband to hang them by the door. As soon as he got Tsunade into bed, he was collapsing on the couch. Whether he'd actually sleep was another story. Kakashi ran a hand through his freed hair, then turned to face Tsunade. "It's late. We should be—"

The rest of his sentence stuck in his throat. Tsunade stood so close he could smell the sweet jasmine scent of her hair and the sake on her breath, paralyzing him. Her honey eyes fixed on Kakashi intently, or as intently as possible with alcohol-dulled senses.

"You don't have to hide yourself from me," she whispered, the rasp in her voice sending tingles down Kakashi's spine.

Tsunade's cool fingers brushed his bare cheek, leaving him too stunned to react. And then she was pulling down his mask, fingertips trailing across skin no one had ever touched, except Kakashi himself. Tsunade's gaze pulled him in, and too late, he realized what she was doing. The next moment, Tsunade's lips were on his, kissing him fervently. Kakashi lost any semblance of logical thought as heat raced from her mouth through his body, setting every nerve on fire. His hands slid around her waist, pulling her closer as he returned the kiss with—

 _Stop._ The thought doused Kakashi like ice water, and he pulled back from Tsunade abruptly, breathing heavily. He couldn't do this. She was drunk. Even worse, she thought he was Dan. "Tsunade, I—"

The back of his knees hit the couch, and Kakashi fell onto the cushions before he could catch himself. Still sluggish from her kiss, he couldn't do anything to stop Tsunade as she climbed into his lap, straddling him with her legs. Her hands slid around his neck, and she drew him close, kissing him again.

 _No_. He couldn't. No matter how—how much he wanted it. Somehow, Kakashi's hands found Tsunade's arms, and he pushed her back with the last of his willpower. "Tsunade, wait. I'm—I'm not Dan."

Tsunade finally met his gaze, her cheeks still flushed. But her eyes were clear. "I know."

Kakashi couldn't breathe, couldn't take his gaze from her. Then... she was kissing him as Kakashi? _Wanted_ to kiss him? Before he could think of what to say, much less form words, Tsunade leaned forward again. Her kiss filled him with heady euphoria; making him feel things he'd never felt before. Tsunade's fingers tangled in his hair, and for a moment he lost himself in the kiss. In the taste of her lips, in the scent of her skin and hair. Of Tsunade herself.

Kakashi could feel the last of his willpower slipping away as desire coursed through him. This was what he wanted, more than anything. But... he grasped the last tendril of his will, and held on. It wasn't fair to Tsunade. She wasn't in her right mind, both because she was under the influence of sake and her memories were still gone.

As gently as he could, he separated himself from Tsunade, though everything in him longed to pull her closer. "Tsuna, we—we can't."

Tsunade stared at him in confusion, her large honey eyes piercing to his soul.

Somehow, Kakashi swallowed and forced himself to continue, his voice rasping, "I can't. Not like this."

Tsunade's expression crumpled, like he'd broken something inside of her. Everything in Kakashi wanted to hold her and kiss away her hurt. But he couldn't. Steeling himself, he shifted forward in preparation to bring Tsunade to bed. But Tsunade grabbed the front of his shirt, eyes brimming with tears, and she curled into him, like a child afraid of a storm. "No, please." Her voice broke him. "Don't leave me. Please. I—I don't want to be alone."

Helplessly, Kakashi gazed down at her blonde head pressed against his shoulder. And knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't leave her. He shifted forward just enough to press his lips to her forehead. "I will never leave you, Tsuna. I promise."

A foolish promise, perhaps, but at the moment, he didn't care. And he intended to keep it.

Tsunade stared at him, eyes wide and wet. Something flickering across her face, but she only curled up in his lap, resting her head on his chest. Kakashi wrapped his arms around her trembling body and rested his chin on her head, holding her close until her trembling stopped. Kakashi blinked sleepily. At last, he shifted forward to glimpse Tsunade's face. She was sound asleep, though she still held a fistful of his shirt. He would keep his word, of course, but it wouldn't hurt to get more comfortable. Moving agonizingly slow, so as not to disturb Tsunade, Kakashi shifted them until he lay on his side on the couch, Tsunade curled into the curve of his body, still in the protection of his arms.

Kakashi gazed at Tsunade's peaceful face, inches from his own. For a sharp, piercing moment, he wished... he wished she wouldn't get her memories back. That she would stay here, with him. Always. He exhaled, and with it, released his longings. Konoha needed her. And she needed her memories back. He couldn't be selfish in wanting to take that away from her. He had to let her go.

Thanks to the sake, Tsunade wouldn't remember any of this in the morning. But it was for the best. For both of them. And... he yawned. He should probably... pull his mask back up.

Warmth seeped through his body to his bones, and Kakashi closed his eyes, savoring the comfortable feeling of Tsunade next to him. And he couldn't help remembering her kisses, replaying them in his mind over and over. Tsunade wouldn't remember any of it. But he would. He would hold on to those memories forever, just like he would this one. He brushed a strand of impossibly soft hair from Tsunade's cheek, and sighed.

He'd let it go too far. He knew that. For both of their sakes, he had to do whatever it took to help Tsunade get her memories back.


	20. Godaime Hokage

The first thing Tsunade became aware of was the intense pounding in her skull, as if someone has taken a sledgehammer to her brain. Then she noticed was how warm and comfortable she was. And realized she was laying on another body—with whom her legs were practically entangled—and her head rested on a firm, muscular chest, slowly rising and falling under her cheek.

_What on earth?_

Face burning, Tsunade tipped her head back to find out who, exactly, she was in this very compromising position with. She shifted cautiously, silently praying whoever it was wouldn't wake. Not until she figured out what—She stared, her heart jumping into her throat.

Messy silver hair. A scar across the left of two eyes that, if opened, would reveal a Sharingan. An ever-present mask.

How—why—how...? Tsunade felt hot all over, but strangely, all that came over her was a strong sense of relief—besides the obvious awkwardness, of course. If she'd found herself in such a position with anyone else—Jiraiya, for instance—he would immediately find himself flying through a window.

Tsunade's stomach tightened, pointedly ignoring the nagging reason why she had no desire to do the same to Kakashi. Instead, she stared at Kakashi's half-covered face, only inches away. His mask barely clung to the tip of his nose, so far down it nearly revealed the corner of his mouth, but somehow still covered everything important. In spite of herself, Tsunade relaxed. And she found she didn't really mind being in such a position with Kakashi. Of course, he was all corded muscle and not the most comfortable, but the way his arm held her close, and how he'd curved his body to fit hers... made her cheeks burn all the more. Heavens. Maybe she was a bit of a pervert, after all. Thank the gods Jiraiya couldn't see her now.

But that didn't explain how they'd ended up in the position in the first place. Tsunade tried to recall last night... oh. She'd brought back the memory of Dan and his death. She had wanted a drink, and the last thing she remembered was downing as many shots of sake as her body could handle. Which, surprisingly, had been a lot. Well. That explained that. Clearly, she'd gotten drunk and Kakashi had brought her back to the apartment. And for whatever reason, they had both ended up sleeping on the couch.

Feeling hot, Tsunade glanced down at her body. But based on the fact that she was still wearing all of her clothes, sleeping was all that they'd done. Not that she would expect anything else from Kakashi. But still... if they had done other... things, she would definitely want to remember—

 _Stop_. Tsunade brought her extremely inappropriate thoughts to a screeching halt. She glanced back up at Kakashi's sleeping face. With his silver hair hanging over his closed eyes and spiking every which way, he looked more than adorable. Her gaze fell to his haphazard mask. All it would take was a simple tug, and she could see his face. The face she longed to see. But she couldn't. And if she were honest, she only wanted to see him if he trusted her enough to show her himself. Still, one wrong move, and Kakashi would accidentally pull down his own mask. The least she could do was fix it for him.

Carefully, Tsunade extracted her arm from under Kakashi's. Focusing intently, and using just her fingertips, she tugged the edge of his mask up until it was back in the proper place. She pulled back—and met Kakashi's gray eye, watching her curiously. She froze. How long had he been awake?

Tsunade scrambled backward to sit further down on the couch, certain her face couldn't get any hotter. "I... um... your mask was falling off. I—I fixed it."

Kakashi sat up too, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maa, thanks." He glanced at her nervously. "I didn't—that is... our, ah, sleeping arrangement... I don't want you to think..."

Tsunade fought a surge of amusement—and relief that the tables were turned. "You don't want me to think what, exactly?"

Kakashi paled. "Well... it's not—we weren't—"

"Weren't what? Sleeping together?" Tsunade managed to keep her voice clipped, though she was enjoying herself immensely. "Because that's not the impression I had when I woke up."

Kakashi's eye widened. "No, it wasn't like that, Tsunade-sama. I swear." He spread his hands. "When we returned from the bar, you, ah, you didn't want to be alone. So, I... stayed with you. That's all."

Heat rushed over Tsunade's skin. _You didn't want to be alone._ He'd stayed with her, in spite of the consequences he had to know would come with the morning. He'd stayed with his weak, drunken hokage, because she'd asked him to. What must he think of her? All she could managed was a quiet, "Oh."

Kakashi eyed her, as if still unsure of his safety. "Do you... remember anything?"

Tsunade's pulse receded. A little. "From last night?" Before she could say no, a sudden image of heated darkness and Kakashi's lips on hers stabbed her brain like lightning. She wanted to melt into the couch. Thank the shinobi gods Kakashi couldn't see what kind of dreams she'd had last night. "No."

Kakashi only nodded, but she sensed his sharp relief. What had she done? There was no telling, especially since she'd never been drunk before. Tsunade cleared her throat. "I apologize for anything I did."

Kakashi dipped his chin, though his ears looked a little redder. "There is nothing to apologize for, Tsunade-sama. How are you feeling?"

"I have a pounding headache, but..." Tsunade bit her lip at the memory of Nawaki and Dan, and couldn't help a shudder. They had left a hole in her heart that could never be replaced. And she would have to live every day with the pain of losing them, of ultimately failing them. Could she do it?

Kakashi was studying her, the lines around his eyes soft, as if he knew what she was thinking. The tension between her shoulders eased. He didn't judge her for her weakness. If anyone understood it, he did.

At that moment, Tsunade realized she didn't want to remember any more of her past. She wanted nothing more than to let it go, and stay here. Living, training, and looking at stars with Kakashi. After all the darkness and loss of her past, she just wanted to be happy. And that's what she'd had these the past five days. Contentment. Happiness. But she couldn't abandon her duty. Konoha still needed her, and she still needed Konoha. After all, she was the Godaime Hokage. It was past time she started acting like it.

"I'll be fine." Tsunade lightly pressed her hand to her stomach. It was time to bring back more memories. But every time she'd used her chakra to summon memories, the seal had grown stronger, and she, weaker. She had to be more selective. "When did I agree to become the Godaime Hokage?"

Kakashi's eye widened slightly, but he only said, "When you met Naruto Uzumaki."

 _Naruto_. The boy so like Nawaki. Tsunade nodded slightly, and closed her eyes to focus.

_She was sitting in a bar, decidedly annoyed at the two figures sitting across from her. Jiraiya, whom she hadn't seen in a good ten years, and an obnoxious boy with spiky blond hair. She'd intended to spend her evening drinking, so she didn't have to think about the decision looming over her._

_But no. Instead, she had to deal with Jiraiya, who claimed she was laughably chosen to be the Godaime Hokage. And this... yellow-haired brat, whose resemblance to Nawaki disturbed her more than she cared to admit. And his reaction to her dismissal of the position of hokage... disturbed her even more._

_So, a few minutes later, as she watched him struggle to his feet outside of the bar—strangely without the satisfaction of putting him in his place—she couldn't help but ask, "Why do you care about the title of hokage so much?"_

_Blue eyes met hers, burning with a passion she'd lost years ago. "Because becoming hokage is my dream!"_

_Those words returned to her as she faced Orochimaru and his Kusanagi, giving her the strength to rise to her feet in front of Naruto. Blood gushed from her stab wounds, but she no longer trembled. Tsunade smiled as she prepared to release her seal. It was time to end this. Finally, she was free. Finally, she had a reason to live. Finally, she knew who she was. All she had to do was claim it._

" _I am the Godaime Hokage!"_

As if those words removed the last block, every memory Tsunade had lost rushed back, overwhelming her senses. Saving Kakashi during the Third War, and subsequently leaving Konoha. Her years of traveling and drowning herself in sake and gambling, returning to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage. And lastly, every moment of her mission with Kakashi and Naruto, ending with exhaustion from the chakra seal causing her collapse while interrogating Mao.

"Tsunade? Can you hear me? Are you all right?" Firm hands gripped her shoulders.

Tsunade's eyes flew open, and she took in the dark room surrounding her as she gasped for breath. Gradually, she became aware of the warm presence behind her, and twisted slightly. Kakashi was crouched behind her, holding her upright and gazing her in concern because... she had somehow crumpled on the floor? "What—what happened?" And why was she on the floor in a random room?

"You were bringing back your memories." Kakashi's hold on her shoulders tightened. "You were shaking... then you crumpled on the floor."

Oh... right. Tsunade's face heated and she turned away from Kakashi, unable to look him in the face. She was in Kakashi's apartment, because she'd been living with him the past few days. She pressed a hand to her heaving chest, and exhaled. "All of my memories returned. I remember... everything."

A silence, thick with tension, fell over the room. Kakashi released her and eased back. "Maa, I see. Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Of course it's good!" Tsunade snapped, purposefully not thinking about how she'd wished the exact opposite only a few minutes ago. She struggled to her feet, focusing on anything but Kakashi. What had she done? She was the Godaime Hokage, twenty-four years his senior, and the past few days she'd acted like a—a... She curled her fingers into fists. Worst of all, she'd enjoyed it. And somehow, still wanted it. No matter how wrong—how impossible—it was.

Kakashi, too, stood. His arms hung limply at his sides. "I am glad your memories have returned, Hokage-sama."

For some reason, his return to the use of her formal title stung. Tsunade ignored it, and strode to the door. There was no point in dwelling on the past. Kakashi had only acted as a jōnin serving his hokage, and that was that. Never mind that the memory of her hand in his, of him pulling her close to his side, of waking up on his chest, still filled her with warm tingles. She shook it off forcefully. "I need to return to the hokage's office."

Kakashi appeared behind her, though he left a safe distance between them. "Then allow me to escort you."

"Fine." Tsunade stormed to the door, not bothering to see if he followed. She flung the door open and nearly rammed into a familiar broad chest.

"Ah, Tsunade. I finally found you. I was beginning to wonder if you were avoiding me." Jiraiya grinned easily. He took in her expression and Kakashi standing silently behind her, and raised a white eyebrow. "What's this? Trouble in paradise?"

Tsunade was in no mood for his jokes. Especially when they hit so close to home. "Shut up, Jiraiya. You know it's nothing of the sort. What are you doing here?"

Jiraiya held up his hands, but seemed to be suppressing a smirk. "Relax, Hime. I heard about your memory loss, and I've been attempting to check on you the past couple of days." His gaze slid past her to Kakashi. "Unsuccessfully."

Tsunade crossed her arms tightly, though she felt like bursting into tears. What was wrong with her? "I don't know what you're implying, but there's no need for you to check on me. All of my memories just returned, so I'm fine. And if you don't mind—" she pushed past Jiraiya's large frame— "I'm needed back at the hokage's office. Excuse me."

Jiraiya grunted. "All right, all right. I'll escort you."

Tsunade stopped, one hand on the railing. Everything in her felt brittle, as if one wrong movement would shatter her. She exhaled shakily, then composed herself enough to face the two men. "No need. Kakashi already offered."

"That's all right, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said quickly. He wouldn't meet her gaze, and her chest squeezed painfully. "I see I'm no longer needed. I'm sure you and Jiraiya-san have a lot to talk about."

"R-right. Of course." Tsunade swallowed hard. But cracks spread through her body, threatening to crumble. It wasn't Kakashi's fault she'd read too much into his kindness while without her memory. It wasn't his fault he made her feel weak.

It wasn't his fault that—memory loss or no memory loss—she'd fallen in love with him.

Tsunade squeezed her eyes shut, silently cursing through clenched teeth. Of all the hopeless things... She'd thought she would never love again. Not after Dan. But here she was, all too aware of the silver-haired ninja standing silently in his doorway.

Jiraiya glanced between them, and his gaze softened with a recognition Tsunade was too tired to attempt to read. Without a word, he stepped past Tsunade and tromped down the rusted stairway to wait for her at the bottom. Tsunade watched him go, still gripping the now slightly-bent railing. Why was she still standing here? She should follow Jiraiya, returned to where she was needed. But still, she didn't move. Desperately didn't want to move.

"Tsunade."

Slowly, painfully, Tsunade faced Kakashi. He hadn't moved, but he was watching her, his gray eye focused, intense. Just like... last night. Tsunade's grip tightened on the rail as fragments of memory assaulted her.

_Bottle after bottle of sake; desperately trying to wash away what she couldn't change._

_Staggering down a dark street, unable to keep her footing. Warm hands steadying her._

_Two names. Two faces. First one, then the other. Dan. Kakashi. She couldn't focus. She thought she was talking to Dan, but it was Kakashi's gray eye fixing on her, his warm hand cupping her chin. And Kakashi's voice..._

_"Tsunade. You are beautiful and perfect."_

_"You make me feel alive. Whole."_

_Unable to speak without crying, she stared at him. At Kakashi. There was no Dan. Not anymore. Only Kakashi. And Kakashi was the only one she wanted._

Tsunade's eyes flew open, immediately connecting with Kakashi's gaze, her heart pounding. And she saw everything. She was his someone. There was no one else, and there never had been. Tsunade swallowed past the aching lump in her throat. And, somehow, that hurt the most. She was a fool.

How long had he cared for her?

"Kakashi..." But she couldn't say what she wanted to say. Couldn't release the words longing to be free. Because once she spoke them, they couldn't be unsaid. No matter how they felt, some things couldn't be. It would be better if he didn't know how she felt. That she'd grown to love him. She was saving both of them from pain. "Thank you for letting me stay at your home these past few days. It is appreciated."

Kakashi closed his eye, as if absorbing a blow. But when it opened, his eye was steely with resolve. "It was an honor, Hokage-sama." He bowed, and added, "I and my ninken are always at your service. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other duties that require my attention."

Tsunade barely had time to nod before he closed the door. The ache in her heart was almost more than she could bear, though she knew that was the only way it could go. Kakashi had known it too. But that didn't make it hurt any less. She'd thought she couldn't take any more heartbreak, yet here she was. But in another way... she was almost relieved. He didn't know everything. Kakashi still hadn't seen her true face, and she had no intention of showing him. And wasn't that the decision she'd made so long ago? She couldn't have something that wasn't real, no matter how tempting.

Tsunade took a deep breath, and walked down the steps to join Jiraiya. Still... she remembered that night watching stars up on the rooftop, the feeling of warmth and— _no_. Enough. It was time forget it and move on.

Because she was the Godaime Hokage, and Konoha came first.


	21. Letting Go

_Mission Report: Yamagawa_

_Submitted by: Kakashi Hatake_

_Mission Status: Success_

_Mission Rank: A_

_Mission Objective:_

_Investigate an unknown illness in the mountain region village Yamagawa, and procure a remedy. Determine source of the illness and nullify if possible. Provide assistance to the villagers in any capacity needed._

_Mission Team Members:_

_Tsunade Senju- Rank: Kage._ _Kakashi Hatake- Rank: Jōnin._ _Naruto Uzumaki- Rank: Genin._

_Mission Log:_

_September 26: Arrival at Yamagawa. The village is in poor condition, with nearly half of the population taken by the illness. Tsunade has organized the main area into a hospital and is healing those afflicted. Her medical skills are remarkable. No leads on a cure as of yet._

_September 27: Tsunade spent all night healing the villagers. I admire her dedication, but her health is concerning. She needs to rest. The villagers have improved, but Tsunade is no closer to finding a cure. I found a lead that may give her insight into the illness, so we are heading into the mountains as soon as I take a short (forced) nap. Naruto will stay behind to assist the villagers._

_September 28: We found the source of the illness. It is a man-made disease that was sealed into the earth's chakra pathways using an advanced jutsu. Tsunade determined that the only way to stop the effects of the disease was to seal it into herself. I didn't approve, but there was nothing I could do against the word of the hokage. The sealing process was long and painful, and all I could do was watch. Tsunade was greatly weakened by the seal, but she seems to have recovered a bit of her strength. Though my knowledge of sealing is average, I am determined to find a way to remove the seal. I can't stand by and watch Tsunade suffer._

Kakashi ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Why had he waited this long to transcribe his mission log into the report? It was torture, going through everything again. His logs during a mission were always strictly facts, nothing more. But this... clearly, his feelings had leaked onto paper. He grimaced. Altering logs for the report was forbidden. At least reports were classified, and only the hokage would read them.

Unfortunately, that hokage was Tsunade. But what did it matter? She had to know how he felt; he'd made his feelings clear. At worst, she would pity him. As much as he detested the thought, it was nothing compared to the memory of Tsunade walking away from him yesterday, her every step driving a kunai blade deeper into his heart.

Kakashi forced himself to focus on the unfinished report in front of him. With his concern over the effects the chakra-seal was having on Tsunade, he'd forgotten to log the last day of the mission.

_September 29: Tsunade seemed more recovered the following day, and we returned to Yamagawa._

He could still feel Tsunade's warm hand on his arm as she gazed intently into his eye, the golden-brown of her irises easing the tension in his shoulders. "I see that you have all the qualities to be a great father." Kakashi shook himself and continued to write, though his stomach churned.

_Naruto met us at the entrance and reported that all of the villagers who were afflicted had fully recovered._

The pen in Kakashi's hand stilled as he remembered how Tsunade's face had crumpled in relief as she gave Naruto a crushing hug. He'd swallowed painfully, realizing this was who Tsunade truly was. Someone who cared for others and would help them at any cost, giving no thought to the consequences to herself. Kakashi rubbed his aching forehead, and forced himself to keep writing.

 _The villagers had no means to pay the mission fee, but with her position as hokage, Tsunade dismissed it. She still had the chakra-seal, but insisted that she could handle it herself, and declared the mission completed._ _But no matter what she says, the chakra seal worries me._

Kakashi cursed and threw his pen down. He couldn't do this anymore. The report was good enough. He'd turn it in the office chūnin, then go train. Anything besides sitting in his apartment, alone with his thoughts.

Kakashi snatched up the report, and headed out the door.

Five hours later, Kakashi strode into his apartment, and pulled off his sweat-drenched shirt, tossing it into the corner. He flopped on his couch and stared at the bare walls. The spartan appearance of his home used to hold a sense of anticipation; if something new entered his life, it would be easy to adjust and accept it.

But now... the blank walls and sparse furniture seemed glaringly empty. Like his life.

Kakashi sighed heavily and ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. No amount of rock climbing or training had been able to distract him. He'd even fallen so low as to challenge Guy to a push-up contest. For the first time in his life, Kakashi had the strong urge to talk to someone for advice. He grunted. Nothing else had worked, so what did he have to lose? He bit his thumb and dropped his hand to press against the floor beside the couch. A puff of summoning smoke, and Pakkun appeared.

The pug stared at him apprehensively. "Are you sick?"

Kakashi considered the question. He didn't feel good, but he didn't have a cold or anything. The word heartsick came to mind, but it sounded so... juvenile. No, he definitely wasn't heartsick. Just distracted. "Nah. I haven't seen you for a while, so I thought I'd check up on you."

Pakkun sat, clearly unconvinced. "You look depressed."

"I need a mission." As soon as he said the words, Kakashi sat up. That was it. If he got a mission, that would clear everything up. "I've just been sitting around for too long. But to get a mission, I'll have to see Tsunade..." And there it was. The dull ache in his chest he'd spent the last thirty-six hours trying to numb.

"The hokage?" Pakkun's all-too-perceptive brown eyes burned into him. "Of course you'll have to see her to get a mission. Why is that a problem?"

Because for the first time, he'd lost his heart to someone. Because he'd had to let her go.

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck and cleared his throat. "Maa, it's not a problem. Why would you say that?"

"Because you look like a schoolboy who just got his heart ripped out and stomped on." Pakkun certainly didn't mince words.

Kakashi winced. That was a little graphic. And unnecessary. Maybe talking to his dog about such things wasn't the best idea. He needed someone who understood. Who would... At that moment, he knew where he needed to go. He stood and walked to his bedroom. "Thanks for the chat, Pakkun."

A puff of vanishing smoke answered him. Kakashi pulled out a clean jōnin uniform, and quickly changed. He was just starting to feel better when he realized the entire right sleeve was missing. It was the uniform he'd worn on the mission when Tsunade had sliced off his sleeve to tend to his arm wound. Unfortunately, it was the only clean uniform he had left. Kakashi clenched his teeth and pulled on his fingerless gloves. He imagined fate was enjoying a good laugh at his expense.

Ten minutes later, Kakashi arrived at the cemetery. He walked down the familiar path he took every morning but continued past Rin's grave to the older gravestones. At last, he stopped in front of Sakumo Hatake's.

Kakashi stared at the headstone, throat tight. This was the first time he'd visited his father's grave since he was seven years old. He sank into a crouch and gripped a handful of grass. "Hai, Otōsan. It's been a while."

The headstone didn't respond, of course. Kakashi lowered his head, suddenly overwhelmed with things he wanted to tell his father. Not just about Tsunade, but all of it. His mistakes, the rare success, his team... his life. Everything his father had missed. So, he did. The sun sank lower as Kakashi talked, and as he talked, a peaceful stillness settled over him. He'd never let himself imagine what it would have been like if his father had lived, but for the briefest moment, he pictured his father sitting in front of him, listening, instead of a gravestone.

Finally, Kakashi finished. Except for the very thing he'd come here for. He sighed. He needed to let it out, no matter how it hurt. "I found someone that I care for very deeply, Otōsan. Are you surprised?" He gave a wry chuckle. "I was. You know, I didn't realize how lonely I was until I saw what I was missing. And... I didn't want to be alone anymore. But I can't have what I want. Konoha needs her more than I do."

Kakashi shoved both hands in his hair and lowered his head. "Being alone again... letting her go... I almost can't stand it. I guess that's what I get for caring too much, eh?"

He lifted his gaze to the silent headstone. And the silent, empty cemetery surrounding him. A cold, dull ache coiled through his stomach and chest. He was alone. And he always would be.

_A large, warm hand tousled his hair._

_Six-year-old Kakashi glared up at his father through tear-blurred eyes. "But why? Everyone—everyone at school says you're a coward. A traitor. Why did you give up the mission to save him? He betrayed you. Betrayed Konoha!"_

_Sakumo crouched in front of him, eyes warm. But also darkened with a haunting pain Kakashi wouldn't realize until later. "Because he used to be one of us. He is my friend." He sighed; hand heavy on Kakashi's head. "Kakashi, I believe that a shinobi must fight for what he loves, no matter how long it takes."_

_Kakashi jerked away. "That's not the ninja way! Look what you did to the village!"_

_His father smiled sadly. "I know. I wish—I wish there had been another way. But…that's my ninja way. Even if it is wrong to some."_

Kakashi blinked, refocusing on his father's grave. Was his father right? Should he fight for what— _who_ —he loved?

Approaching footsteps broke the silence. But the rhythm of the steps sounded like... Tsunade. Kakashi's heart jumped, and he stood, turning to—Shizune? What was she doing here? He recovered enough to greet her. "Hai, Shizune-san."

Shizune stopped next to him, the breeze tossing her short hair in her face. "Hai, Kakashi-san. Tsunade-sama thought you might be here."

Before Kakashi could think of an answer, Shizune continued quietly, "You know, I don't know what happened on your mission with Tsunade-sama. I only know that both of you seem... different." Her gaze fixed on him with surprising intensity. "But I do know what it's like to lose what you care about. Don't let what happened in the past hold you back from the future. No one should be alone."

Familiarity flickered in Kakashi's mind. He'd heard those words before. He glanced at his father's headstone, though he knew Shizune was talking about moving on from whatever she assumed had happened with Tsunade. His gut tightened. While she meant well, that wouldn't be happening any time soon.

"Ah, sorry." Shizune cleared her throat. "I came out here because Tsunade-sama has summoned you for a mission briefing."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. And she'd sent Shizune instead one of the messenger chūnin? "Hai. I'll be there in a moment."

He inspected Shizune as she walked away. The intensity of her gaze had been very familiar—and unlike the passive Shizune. In fact, the entire encounter had been out of character. Either Tsunade was rubbing off on her apprentice, or... Just in case his suspicions were correct, Kakashi gave Shizune plenty of time to reach the hokage's office before him. He strolled up the stairway, though he couldn't help remembering that last time he was here. He'd jumped through the window instead of taking the stairs and had brimmed with anticipation instead of trepidation.

"Hai, Kakashi!"

Kakashi blinked and stopped on the top step. He turned to face Guy, who stood a few steps below him. Had he been so preoccupied that he hadn't noticed Guy walk past him? "Hai."

Guy wasn't deterred by his lack of enthusiasm. "I am still invigorated by our push-up match, my rival!" His thick brows scrunched. "Tell me, how do you manage to look so cool while working out?"

"Maa…" Kakashi wasn't sure how to answer. Being 'cool' as Guy put it, had been the last thing on his mind. All he'd cared about was getting Tsunade's face out of his head.

"Ah, never mind. I know having secrets are a part of being cool." Guy started to turn away, but before Kakashi could breathe a sigh of relief, he spun back around. "Oi! How did your little—" he wiggled his eyebrows in a failed attempt to look suggestive— "rendezvous with your lady go the other night?"

Kakashi stiffened. "There isn't a lady. Or anyone else."

Perhaps that had come out a little harsher than he'd meant it to, because the joviality faded from Guy's expression. "Oh. Well…I wish you the best, Kakashi. I'll see you around."

Kakashi winced. He might be emotionally distant, but that was no excuse for being a jerk. "Guy." His friend turned with a hesitant smile, and Kakashi continued awkwardly, "It—it was the best night of my life. But it didn't work out between us."

"I see." Guy nodded knowingly, as if he'd ever been in a relationship. "You deserve the best, Kakashi. Don't forget that."

Kakashi watched his friend trot off, strangely warmed. Guy had his moments. They weren't many, but he had them. He mounted the top of the stairs and headed for the hokage's office. But…there would never be anyone better than Tsunade. Not for him. Which was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about right before he saw Tsunade for the first time since her memories had returned. Kakashi stopped at the office door and sighed. Well, there was no point in dragging it out. May as well get it over with. He knocked. A few moments passed before the voice he both longed and dreaded to hear, called, "Enter."

Kakashi didn't consider himself a coward—far from it—but the sound of Tsunade's voice struck him with a sudden and strong desire to flee. Let one of the chūnin bring him the mission assignment. He didn't need to hear it from the hokage. But before he could contemplate this new course of action any further, the door opened.

Shizune gazed at him quizzically, then stepped back to let him enter. "Hai, Kakashi-san. We've been expecting you."

"Ah, hai." Kakashi swallowed and stepped inside. "Sorry. The door was, uh, stuck."

"I see your excuses haven't gotten any better," Tsunade said drily from her desk. "You can close the door, Shizune."

Kakashi jammed his hands in his pockets, and walked toward the hokage's desk, finally looking at Tsunade. She met his eyes, but something flickered through her honey irises, and her gaze darted away, only to fix on his missing sleeve. Kakashi winced inwardly, and stopped a good distance from her desk, slouching casually. "You had a mission for me?"

"Hai." Tsunade held up a mission file, focusing on it instead of him. "A few things from our—your—previous mission has been bothering me. Your new mission is to find out who was behind the creation of the chakra-seal."

Kakashi took the file and scanned the details. Hmm, he didn't have much to go on. But the familiarity of mission protocol eased some of the tension in his muscles. Yes, this was what he needed. Time away to clear his mind. And heart. "Hai. I assume this is a solitary mission?"

Tsunade nodded and settled back in her chair. Clearly, focusing on the business at hand was a relief to her too.

" _Fight for what you love, no matter how long it takes."_

But... he couldn't let this go. Not yet. He needed to know. Kakashi bowed. "Consider it done, Hokage-sama. But if I may make a request before I leave?"

Tsunade's forehead creased. "What is it?"

Kakashi turned slightly, including Shizune in his line of sight. "Would it be too much to ask for Shizune to accompany me back down? We had a... good conversation earlier, and I would like to continue it."

Shizune only looked confused, but Tsunade's eyes widened for the briefest instant. "I'm afraid not," she said too quickly. "We have too much work to get done, and I can't spare her."

"I see." Kakashi inclined his head respectfully. His chest cramped. So, his suspicions had been correct. It had been Tsunade, not Shizune, who had come to the cemetery. Clearly, Tsunade still cared for him. Enough to come and try to help him move on, no matter how much it might hurt her.

 _Fight for what you love._ Kakashi exhaled. Tsunade now knew he'd figured out her charade. Doubtless, she'd realize the request to continue the conversation was to her as well. But the rest was up to Tsunade now. Did she feel as he did? Or... his stomach churned. Did she regret it?

Kakashi started for the door, so she couldn't see the desperation and longing in his gaze.

"Wait." Tsunade's strangled command stopped him at the doorway.

Kakashi stopped and turned, trying to ignore his accelerating pulse. Tsunade was standing, both hands planted on her desk, her mouth tight. "Shizune, I need to speak to Kakashi-san alone."

"Of course, Tsunade-sama." Shizune slipped out past Kakashi, looking beyond relieved.

Tsunade stared at him for a long moment. Then she sighed. "So, you figured it out."

"Well..." Kakashi drawled, mentally preparing himself for whatever Tsunade intended to say next. "Shizune isn't known for her, ah, forceful personality. And I doubt she'd have the nerve to give me advice."

Tsunade's mouth quirked, and Kakashi couldn't help his gaze lingering on her soft pink lips. If only she'd given him a kiss. Just one. Not while drunk, but Tsunade in her right mind, kissing him because she—

Tsunade cleared her throat, and Kakashi jerked his gaze back to her face, ears hot. By her expression—and the color tinging her cheeks—she knew exactly what he'd been thinking. "Look, Kakashi. You're one of my top jōnin, and I was hoping..." Tsunade closed her eyes, and her voice drifted to a strained whisper, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean... that is, while I was without my memory—"

"No, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi forced his fists to unclench. _Fool_. He couldn't bear to hear her regret. Right now, that would hurt more than anything. If only he'd kept his feelings to himself, as he should have from the beginning. "This was my fault. I should have never let it get as far as it did. I'm sorry. I... made a mistake."

Tsunade stared at him, eyes glistening. Then she sighed and her shoulders slumped. "We both did. It never happened, then?"

So... she _did_ regret it. Kakashi stepped back, only able to nod in response. He had his answer. From now on, their relationship would only be hokage and jōnin. _It never happened_. "Goodbye, Tsunade-sama."

Kakashi reached the window in two short steps and leaped out. As he ran toward his mission, he pushed himself faster and faster, as if he could outrun the pain. But he had the feeling these feelings would stay with him for a long time. And, in a way, he wanted them to. Tsunade was worth that much.

_Fight for what you love, no matter how long it takes._

But sometimes, the only thing to do was give up what you want most.


	22. Desperation

Tsunade woke to the uncomfortable tingling of an arm that had fallen asleep. Had she—? Groggily, she sat up, her sleep-blurred eyes taking in the familiar surroundings of the hokage's office. She groaned, partly at the crick in her neck, and partly at her body's need for rest. How had she fallen asleep again?

She hadn't even meant to this time. Tsunade rubbed her forehead. Her unplanned naps were happening more and more in the past week since she'd returned as hokage, and she suspected the near-constant exhaustion haunting her was another side-effect of the chakra seal.

After her memories had returned, everyone who had known about it, including Jiraiya and Shizune, seemed to assume that meant the seal had been neutralized as well. And she hadn't bothered to correct them. She'd been so certain she would find a way to get rid of it. But it had only gotten worse. Not that she hadn't been trying to figure out a cure. Late nights running tests in the medical lab and studying old texts hadn't brought any results besides adding to her exhaustion.

Absently, she rolled the military pill she'd recently kept on her between her fingers. It was only for an emergency, since it would enhance her chakra as well her energy, but she'd had trouble walking without frequent rest the last couple of days. Leading the treatment of Sasuke's recovery team had taken a lot out of her.

But Chōji Akimichi and Neji Hyūga would have died without her, leaving no room for regrets.

Tsunade sighed, and slipped the pill back into her obi. She was the greatest medical-nin in the world, and she _would_ find a way to destroy the seal. Still... even she could admit her time was growing short.

But that wasn't the only reason for her frazzled nerves. Just this morning, she'd received word that Kakashi had returned from his mission. Which meant that any minute he would be walking through the door to give his report, and she would see him for the first time since—since they had agreed to go on as if nothing had happened.

Tsunade massaged her aching forehead. But if he felt anything like she did... No. She could do this—she _had_ to do this. For both of them. And with any luck, he would have more information on the seal. She managed a wry smile. Since when had luck been on her side? No doubt—

A light tap on the door, then Shizune stuck her head in. "Tsunade-sama? Kakashi Hatake has returned with his mission report."

Tsunade's heart stopped. No. She wasn't—wasn't ready to see him. She would never be ready to see him. Then she silently cursed her cowardly reaction. What was she going to do? Send him away? Tsunade hastily wiped her chin, just in case she'd drooled again, then nodded. "Send him in."

The door opened wider, and Kakashi strolled in, followed by Shizune. A sharp pang shot through Tsunade's chest, and she laced her fingers tightly under her desk to get her emotions under control. _It never happened._ She cleared her throat forcefully. She just needed to get it over with. "Kakashi-san. What is your report?"

Kakashi's eye was half-lidded, as usual, but Tsunade sensed his careful, intent inspection of her. "I followed all of the leads available, but they led me to nothing concrete. Based on the little I learned, I would assume the seal came from Orochimaru, but..."

 _But assumptions weren't enough to confront the likes of Orochimaru_ , Tsunade silently finished. The weight of his report sank in, and her shoulders slumped with it. So, that was it. She was on her own. "I see."

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck, staring at the floor. "Maa, I'm sorry I couldn't find out more, Tsunade-sama."

Over Kakashi's shoulder, Shizune caught her eye. Her assistant's pointed look brought the events of the past few days back to her foggy brain. Tsunade clamped her eyes shut, desperately wishing she wasn't the one who had to tell Kakashi about Sasuke Uchiha. Why did she have to bring more pain into his life?

"There is one more thing." Tsunade opened her eyes, unable to hold back her sympathy as she gazed at Kakashi. "Sasuke Uchiha left to join Orochimaru. I sent a team to retrieve him, including Naruto, but they were... unsuccessful. I'm sorry."

Kakashi lowered his head. "I see," he murmured. "I should have—" He shook his head slightly, cutting himself off. "How is Naruto?"

"He is in the hospital with minor injuries. Two of his teammates weren't so lucky, but they will recover." A sudden bout of dizziness sent her vision swimming, but Tsunade tightened her fingers around her armrests and kept her gaze on Kakashi. No one was better at hiding their emotions than he, but she knew him well enough to guess his thoughts. "There wasn't anything you could have done. Sasuke made his choice."

A painful grip clamped around her throat. She, on the other hand, had let down both Naruto and Kakashi. What kind of hokage couldn't even keep a single genin safe? Her failures as the Godaime were steadily stacking up.

Kakashi's gray eye bored into her. "There wasn't anything you could have done either, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade exhaled shakily. "You are dismissed. I'm sure you want to go see Naruto."

"Hai." Kakashi dipped his chin, though his gaze never left hers. He could sense her fatigue; she was certain of it. But he also knew—as well as she did—that there was nothing he could do about it.

Kakashi left, and Shizune closed the door behind him. But her assistant hesitated at the doorway and cast a concerned glance at Tsunade, clearly debating asking about what had just happened. Tsunade had no intention of giving her the chance. She picked up the next stack of papers, barely able to keep her hands from shaking. "Shizune, I need you to do the rounds on the patients by yourself today. I have too much work to do."

Shizune's eyebrows rose; normally, Tsunade took every opportunity to get out of the office. But her assistant only nodded, probably relieved Tsunade was taking initiative for once. "Hai, Tsunade-sama. I'll go right away."

"Good." Tsunade focused on her paperwork as the door shut after Shizune, but the script swam in confusing circles. She groaned and pressed fingers to her aching eyes. In reality, she doubted she could get to the hospital without collapsing.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Shizune eventually returned from the hospital and gave a report on Akimichi, Hyūga, and Naruto. Through the fog in her mind, Tsunade barely got the gist of the reports, and only managed a "Mmm, good."

Shizune shot her a strange look as she returned to her duties, but thankfully didn't comment on it.

Dusk approached, casting long shadows in the office. Tsunade lifted her throbbing eyes from the file in front of her. Enough work. She was running out of time. Maybe if she studied her lab tests again... something would come to her.

Shizune had left on an errand, so Tsunade pushed to her feet, and gripped the edge of her desk, swaying. She had every intention of finding a cure, so it wouldn't do to cause Shizune needless worry by watching her hokage hobbled across the office. Keeping one hand on the desk, she forced one foot after the other as she headed around the desk to the shelves against the wall. Tsunade reached the end of the desk, and hesitated. Then she clenched her teeth. She wasn't an invalid. She was Tsunade Senju, the Godaime Hokage, and by all the shinobi gods, she could walk to the shelf without help.

She took two steps—lightning pain stabbed through her abdomen, and she staggered, reaching blindly for something—anything—to hold her up. But the pain struck again, and when Tsunade opened her blurred eyes, she found herself on the floor. Panting, she lifted her hand enough to see the red, spidering lines marring her pale skin. _No_. This couldn't be happening. Not yet. She... didn't...

The door creaked. "Tsunade-sama?" Shizune's worried voice called tentatively. "I thought I heard—" She gasped, and footsteps thudded toward Tsunade. "Tsunade-sama! What happened? Can you hear me?"

"Shizune..." Tsunade blinked, but was unable to make out her assistant's face. She curled her fingers into fists, nails biting her palms. The sharp pain helped her focus enough to gasp, "I—I need you to heal my organ systems, quickly. Do... do not transfer any chakra."

Shizune nodded, brow furrowing intently as she lifted her glowing hand over Tsunade's abdomen. "Just focus on breathing, Tsunade-sama."

The pain receded and the red lines slowly faded, leaving behind only pale, sweaty skin. Tsunade exhaled shakily, and pushed up to a sitting position. Shizune gasped, and placed a hand on her shoulder, as if she intended to force Tsunade back down. "No, Tsunade-sama! You are not well! What happened?"

Tsunade shoved Shizune's hand away. Too many things were happening, but one thing was clear. If she didn't find a way to remove the seal, she would die. Very soon. She grimaced, and stood. So, it had come to this. But at least Shizune's healing had given her a little more time. "The—the seal. I don't have time to explain it all, but it is getting worse." She faced her assistant. "I need you to trust me. There is something I have to do, so please stay here and watch the office. I'll tell you everything when I return."

Shizune blanched, but nodded reluctantly. "As—as you wish, Tsunade-sama."

"Good. I'll be back soon." Tsunade made it to the door, briefly reflecting that Shizune deserved much better than her.

"Just be careful, Tsunade-sama!" Shizune called after her. "You're not—"

The rest of Shizune's words were lost as Tsunade hurried out of the hokage building. Already, she could feel the pain of the chakra seal returning with a vengeance. She caught herself against the wall at the bottom of the stairs, then headed out into Konoha's streets. There was only one place she needed to go.

Normally, the people of Konoha stopped Tsunade whenever she walked through the village, either to express their admiration or ask questions about the goings-on of the shinobi world. But today, they avoided her with wary glances. Perhaps they could sense she had neither the time nor patience for it. In spite of the circumstances, she managed a slight smile. Or perhaps they felt she was only approachable with the cool-headed Shizune at her side.

Tsunade rounded a corner, but a sudden bout of weakness nearly brought her to knees. She steadied herself against the wall of Ichiraku's—Naruto's favorite ramen shop—and gritted her teeth. How could she have let this happen? True, she'd done it to save Konoha and the Land of Fire, but it would take a miracle to save her now, and that would leave Konoha without a hokage once again.

No. Tsunade straightened, and pushed onward. They wouldn't be without a hokage. That was why she was on this mission, wasn't it? To find the only other person capable of filling her position. To make sure Konoha was taken care of.

Tsunade laboriously climbed the steps to Kakashi's apartment building, pausing on every step to catch her breath—and gather her strength. She gripped the handrails, knuckles white. How ridiculous. She'd never been this weak, even when she'd nearly died from severe wounds during the Second War.

Tsunade stopped at Kakashi's door, and hesitated. Gods, how she didn't want to return to her memories here. But she also knew she had no choice. She steeled her shoulders. It would be fine. Hadn't they both agreed to continue as if nothing had happened? Everything would be fine.

Tsunade sighed. The fact that she was trying to convince herself meant she'd already lost. But she was here, so she may as well get it over with. So, she knocked on the door.

* * *

Kakashi closed his eyes as the cold water ran off his dripping hair and down his face. He always took a shower after a failed mission or losing a comrade. Or in this case, a student. That way, it was impossible to tell if tears were shed. He slammed a fist against the shower wall. He was a failure of a teacher, just as he'd been a failure of a teammate to Obito and Rin, and student to Minato-sensei.

He should have been there for Sasuke after the confrontation with Itachi. Instead, he'd thought a couple of conversations and a few weeks rest would bring Sasuke to his senses. _Fool_. It had taken Kakashi years to recover from his loved ones' deaths. And in some ways, he still wasn't over it. Yet, another part of him knew Tsunade was right, no matter how much he blamed himself. Sasuke had made his own choice. Now, Kakashi just had to wait, and hope his student would choose to return. And if he did, he would be welcomed with open arms. But if not... Kakashi exhaled heavily, water dripping from his lips. He would have to be ready for that, too.

The faint knocking on a door came from the front of his apartment. Kakashi frowned, and shut off the water. But, no. He hadn't imagined it. The knocking persisted; clearly, whoever it was, was short on patience.

Briefly, Kakashi was tempted to ignore it. No one ever came to his apartment. Well, except for Guy a couple of times—years ago. More than likely, someone had the wrong address. Still... he smiled slightly. Why not have a little fun? He dried himself off quickly, then wrapped the towel around his waist. He pulled on an extra mask, then walked to the door wearing nothing else.

The knocking had stopped by the time Kakashi reached the door, but he sensed an irritated presence outside. Probably trying to decide if they should knock again or give up. He pulled the door open. "Maa, I'm afraid you—"

The Godaime Hokage stood in the doorway, her face inches from his very bare chest. Kakashi faltered, and the rest of his words faded into an unintelligible gargle. He couldn't move, unable to do anything but stare at Tsunade, his cheeks, ears—everything—on fire with embarrassment.

Tsunade, too, seemed in a state of shock, her eyes glued to his shirtless chest. Finally, she blinked, as if coming to her senses, and her gaze moved to his face. Though he couldn't help but notice her cheeks were a darker shade of pink as well. She cleared her throat. "Do you, ah, always greet guests in a bath towel?"

"I... no—No!" Kakashi hastily took a step back. This was worse than anything he could have imagined. Though a tiny part of him wondered if she liked what she saw, even just a little. "Give me a moment, and I will be more presenta—"

Tsunade sagged against the doorframe, as if her legs couldn't hold her up any longer. A wave of weariness washed over her face before she covered it with a scowl. "Curse that seal. I thought I would have longer than—Wh-what are you doing?!"

Kakashi had moved as soon as he'd realized what was going on, and wrapped an arm around Tsunade to support her. He didn't dare lift her in his arms; he sensed neither of them could handle that right now. "Come, Tsunade-sama. Sit on the couch."

Tsunade grumbled, but she let him help her forward. Kakashi hid his surprise at the amount of weight she let him support. His unease grew. How weak was she? Had she not found a cure for the chakra seal?

Kakashi gently lowered Tsunade onto the couch, and she sank into the cushions with a sigh. "Thank you... Kakashi."

"Of course." Kakashi bit back his questions, but he couldn't help hovering where he was. Until he realized Tsunade was still pointedly not looking at him—and remembered what he was wearing. Or, rather, what he wasn't. Kakashi lurched away, and hastily backed toward his room. "I'll, ah, be right back."

Anxiety chewed at him as he pulled on his dark blue pants and jōnin shirt. Why on earth was Tsunade here? After everything that had happened, he was certain she would never come here, unless something was wrong. Very wrong. And her condition... she was clearly worse. A lot worse than he'd assumed. How could he have let it get this far?

Kakashi yanked on his forehead protector, cursing, and strode back into the main room. He sat on a floor cushion opposite Tsunade and braced himself. "What is it?"

Tsunade looked a little better, but her face was noticeable pale. "I haven't found a cure for the chakra seal."

As he'd feared. Kakashi clenched his teeth, but forced himself to remain calm. "What about your Creation Rebirth?"

Tsunade dropped her gaze to her tightly-laced fingers. "If I release that much chakra, the seal will kill me instantly. There is no way around it." She hesitated. "If things continue this way... I want you to become the next hokage."

Kakashi froze. _Hokage?_ Was she insane? He couldn't—he didn't—Wait. If she wanted him to become hokage, that meant... He shot to his feet, attempt at staying calm forgotten. "No. There is still time to find a cure, isn't there?"

Tsunade glared at him. "I wouldn't be here if there was another way. Don't you hear what I'm saying?" She clamped her eyes shut and exhaled. "I'm _dying_ , Kakashi. I only have a couple days left at most."

Dying. Kakashi's throat closed off, and he stood in numb silence. This was his fault. She'd sent him to find the creator of the seal; to find a cure. And he'd come back empty-handed. Fury ballooned in his chest and burned through his veins.

 _Orochimaru_.

Kakashi knelt in front of Tsunade, and grasped her shoulders. He gazed into her wide, beautiful honey eyes, and his chest cramped painfully. "Tsuna, you're not going to die. I will find a cure for you. No matter what."

Tsunade's lips parted as she stared at him. "Kakashi..."

Kakashi no longer cared about what was proper. He scooped Tsunade into his arms and carried her to his bed. "Stay here and rest until I return, Tsunade-sama. It won't be long."

Tsunade struggled to sit up, but her trembling arms gave out and she fell back against the pillows. "Kakashi, what are you doing?"

Kakashi didn't answer. Instead, he strode out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. If he told her, she would order him not to go. Nothing was going to stop him, so he'd prefer not to disobey the hokage's direct order. He paused long enough to grab his weapon pouch, then rushed out of the apartment.

He left Konoha behind in a blur, only stopping in the forest long enough to summon his ninken. They gathered around him, Pakkun at their head. Kakashi met each of their gazes steadily, letting them know the mission was of greatest importance. "Find the location of Orochimaru with all haste. He has something I need. Concentrate your search around the Land of Sound, and report to me when you find anything, no matter how small."

His ninken nodded agreement, and raced away into the forest.

Kakashi exhaled. This time, he wouldn't fail. He couldn't. He leaped into the trees and sped toward Sound, faster than he'd ever gone before.


	23. Confrontation

"... wake up. Tsunade!"

That voice... _Jiraiya?_ Tsunade groaned and forced her eyes open, though her eyelids seemed to weigh ten pounds. Sure enough, Jiraiya stood at the foot of her bed, arms crossed and expression unreadable. "What are... you doing here?" In her _bedroom_ of all places. It was as if he wanted to be killed.

"Hmm." Jiraiya rubbed his chin. "I admit, I thought I sensed something between you two, but I never expected I would find you in his bed. Tell me truly, Tsunade. What does Hatake have that I don't?"

 _What?_ In a surge of rage, Tsunade struggled to sit up, but her arms refused to work. She may as well be made of rubber. "What—what nonsense are you blabbering about? I would never..."

Everything rushed back.

She was in Kakashi's apartment because she'd come to ask him to become the next hokage. For reasons beyond her, he'd answered the door shirtless, turning her brain into a hot, muddled mess—not that she'd particularly minded—Tsunade shook her head slightly and closed her eyes, fighting another groan. _Focus_. Kakashi hadn't taken the news well. He'd had the nerve to carry her to his bed like some kind of... of—well, it _had_ been rather sweet and chivalric of him—and then rushed off, saying something about... a cure.

_Orochimaru._

Ice formed in her veins. No. _No_. Kakashi had gone to find Orochimaru, she was certain of it. Kakashi was strong, but he was no match for Orochimaru, and he had to know that. But he'd gone anyway. Why couldn't he just listen to her? Tsunade opened her eyes, frantic energy quickening her pulse. She had to stop—she caught sight of Jiraiya staring at her, though now a furrow creased his brow. Heat flushed her skin. She'd almost forgotten the fool thought she was sleeping with Kakashi. Something she didn't have time to deal with. "It's _not_ what it looks like. I came here for an important matter, but—" _Orochimaru._ She shoved against the covers, desperately trying to untangle herself. "I need—I need to go."

Jiraiya's expression shifted, and he moved to the bed. With his help, Tsunade was finally able to sit on the edge of the bed. But her vision swam, and she would have collapsed on the floor if Jiraiya's firm hands on her shoulders hadn't supported her.

Jiraiya's dark eyes burned into her. "Tsunade, what's wrong? You aren't yourself."

Tsunade sighed. It seemed she didn't have a choice but to tell him. "When I got my memories back, it didn't affect the chakra-absorbing seal. I have tried everything, but I haven't found a way to get rid of it. It's been steadily absorbing my chakra and growing stronger while I grow weaker."

Jiraiya swore. "Tsunade... damn you. Why do you always have to do everything yourself? I could have helped you!"

"No, you couldn't have," Tsunade snapped. "Do you really think you could have figured out something the greatest medical-nin could not? Believe me, I tried everything. _Everything_."

Jiraiya rubbed his eyes wearily. "What does Kakashi have to do with this?"

Tsunade curled her fingers into fists. "He went to confront Orochimaru, who he thinks might be the creator behind the seal." And in her current condition, there was no way she could catch him. Unless... "Jiraiya, you must stop him. It's a suicide mission. He's no match for Orochimaru."

"Why would Kakashi do this? He's always been level-headed," Jiraiya muttered, almost to himself. His gaze slid back to Tsunade, and darkened with understanding. "Ah. I see."

Embarrassment tingled in Tsunade's stomach. Annoyed at herself—and Jiraiya—she demanded, "What are you talking about?"

Jiraiya took in her expression, and his eyes widened. "So... you _do_ care about him." Tsunade opened her mouth to deny it, but the words refused to form. Jiraiya ran a hand down his face and stood. "I'll go after Kakashi, but you need to stay here and rest."

Fury washed away any remaining embarrassment. Tsunade glared after Jiraiya as he walked to the bedroom door. She'd just about had enough of being told to rest. But Jiraiya left without another word, shutting the door firmly behind him. Fine. She'd get out by herself. Tsunade gathered her strength, and shakily pushed to her bare feet. Somehow, she staggered out of the bedroom, using anything she could find as a handhold. Her eyes blurred and the room swam in dizzying circles. _No_. She had to make it—

Her muscles gave out, and Tsunade collapsed on the floor. She lifted her head, trying to find the front door, but all that greeted her was darkness.

* * *

Night had fallen. Kakashi stood in the shadow of the forest, gazing at the entrance to Orochimaru's headquarters, built into the base of a massive tree. It had taken him and his ninken all day, but they had finally found it. Kakashi exhaled slowly. He was no match for Orochimaru's abilities, and he knew it. It was foolhardy to enter with only the barest basics of a plan, but he didn't really have a choice. If only he knew the layout of the hideout... Well. No point in wishing for what he couldn't have.

He mentally ran over his plan again, analyzing for any holes or weakness he could prevent—but it seemed sound. Or, as sound as a half-baked plan on the fly could be. He resigned himself to the fact that it was as good as it was going to get, and turned to face his ninken. "Thanks for your help. Ready to go?"

Pakkun nodded first, followed immediately by the rest of his dogs with a chorus of growls and soft barks.

"Good." Kakashi looked back at the dark entrance. "Remember, split up and look for any room of importance. I'll find Orochimaru."

This time, his ninken only responded with nods. As one, they headed to the entrance and vanished into the darkness. Kakashi pulled out a kunai, and followed silently. He half-expected a trap, but nothing greeted him as he descended in. Kakashi crept along the dimly-lit passageway, every sense alert. No doubt Orochimaru had Zabuki here as well, though whether he'd be a threat or not remained to be seen. Still, he would be ready.

Fifteen minutes later, Kakashi's progress hadn't been threatened. He could only assume that meant Orochimaru knew he was here... and wanted to confront him on the former Sannin's terms. He quickened his pace, but kept his kunai in hand. At last, the passage widened into a massive room with columns stretching to the ceiling. Kakashi slowed, gaze fixing on the two figures waiting for him at the other end of the room. Orochimaru, and his follower, Kabuto Yakushi.

"Kakashi Hatake. I've been expecting you." Orochimaru's reptilian smile split his deathly pale face. His yellow eyes shifted to behind Kakashi, and he frowned. "The nine-tails brat didn't accompany you?"

Kakashi stopped what he deemed a safe distance away, and narrowed his eye. Naruto? What was Orochimaru talking about? "Naruto doesn't have anything to do with this."

"Oh, but I'm afraid he does." Orochimaru gestured above them. "You came for him... didn't you?"

Sasuke stood on a ledge high above them, kunai in hand. Bile surged up Kakashi's throat as Sasuke's gaze met his, but even from a distance he could see in Sasuke's expression that his student had no intention of leaving.

In spite of that, Kakashi couldn't help trying. "Sasuke. Orochimaru is using you. Think of Konoha, and your friends. Don't they mean anything to you? They... they need you back."

Sasuke's face hardened. "I don't need them."

Kakashi sighed, but he wasn't surprised. He kept his gaze on Sasuke, though he sensed Orochimaru's summoned snakes stealthily approaching him from behind. He had to admit, Orochimaru's intention to distract him with Sasuke hadn't been half bad. But Orochimaru had also underestimated him. He'd already known Sasuke wasn't coming back, and Orochimaru would never risk the real Sasuke.

To prove it, Kakashi leaped up and backward, simultaneously hurling his kunai straight at Sasuke. The sharp point hit his former student between the eyes, and Sasuke vanished in a puff of shadow clone smoke. Kakashi landed in a crouch behind the two giant snakes, flinging a kunai—attached to a paper bomb—into each. The bombs exploded, taking the snakes with them. He waited until the smoke dissipated, then said coldly, "That's not why I'm here. Now, tell me where the cure is."

Orochimaru hissed, and Kabuto backed away into the shadows as surprise flickered across both faces. But Orochimaru only held up his hands. "Your words are riddles, Kakashi of the Sharingan. What cure?"

Kakashi lifted his headband, exposing his Sharingan, and answered evenly, "The cure for the cursed chakra seal you left to infect the Land of Fire. The seal that now inhabits the hokage."

His neck prickled in warning. Kabuto was almost upon him. Kakashi spun, forming signs at lightning speed. "Fire release!"

The fireball roared between them, forcing Kabuto back. While his opponent was briefly blinded, Kakashi summoned a shadow clone to take his place, and slipped behind the closest pillar. He needed to get to Orochimaru. The fire dissipated, and Kabuto immediately attacked Kakashi's clone.

Orochimaru watched the fight with interest. "I have no knowledge of this seal, though it sounds interesting." His eyes gleamed. "So, how is affecting my dear teammate, Tsunade? I assume nothing good, as she sent you to me. Well, well. It must gall her, being unable to find a cure."

Anger burned through Kakashi as he continued creeping toward Orochimaru. The snake was lying, and even worse, getting pleasure out of mocking Tsunade's pain. He steadily gained ground as the fight continued behind him. Finally, he was close enough. Orochimaru's attention was still fixed on Kabuto's battle with the clone.

 _Now_. Kakashi leaped out at Orochimaru, kunai raised. A flicker of movement, and Kabuto appeared out of nowhere, blocking Kakashi's strike. They both landed, kunai locked, then sprang apart. Kakashi silently swore. Kabuto, too, must have created a clone.

Kabuto grinned crookedly. "I've always wanted to test myself against the copy ninja."

Kakashi only narrowed his eyes. _Any moment now._ His shadow clone's hands erupted from the ground—having defeated Kabuto's clone moments earlier—and grabbed the real Kabuto's ankles. "Chidori!" Unable to move, Kabuto's eyes barely had time to widen before Kakashi's lightning cutter pierced through his chest. He collapsed, and Kakashi faced Orochimaru, panting. Now, for the real test.

Orochimaru's eyes were no more than slits. "I know nothing of this seal you speak of. I've been preoccupied... with other matters."

Kakashi shifted into a defensive stance, every muscle tense with readiness. "Enough lies. I'm not leaving without a way to save Tsunade."

Orochimaru stared at him. Then, slowly, he smiled. "Ah, the solitary copy ninja Kakashi cares for someone, doesn't he?" His long tongue slid over pale lips. "Well, Tsuna does have that effect on men. Why, I remember when we were still chūnin—"

Kakashi hurled his kunai at Orochimaru to shut him up. "If you won't give me a way to help my hokage, I'll force it out of you." Though there was a good chance he'd die trying. But he still had his ninken, and if all else failed, they could bring the cure to Tsunade.

Out of options, Kakashi lowered his hand. "Chidori!" A wave of dizziness nearly made him stumble, but he blinked the sweat out of his eyes and braced his legs. He only had enough chakra for Chidori twice more. He clenched his teeth and charged Orochimaru. _No._ This would work. It had to work.

But Orochimaru crouched with a smirk, placing both palms on the stone floor. "Summoning jutsu!"

No! Kakashi pushed himself faster, but twin snakes erupted from the earth on either side of him. He cursed. With Chidori in hand, he couldn't perform a substitution jutsu. Scaly bodies wrapped around him, snaring his arms and legs. Kakashi thrust his Chidori to the right, just before a coil caught his arm, and the lightning cutter speared one of the snakes. It vanished in a puff of smoke. But it didn't matter. The other snake had already adjusted, twining itself around and through all of Kakashi's limbs, and held him suspended in the air, unable to move even an inch.

Orochimaru stood, and walked toward Kakashi as he struggled fruitlessly. The former Sannin sighed. "I've tired of this, copy ninja." He stopped, and placed a pale hand on top of Kakashi's head. Kakashi jerked his head back, but the coil around his neck tightened, and he choked. Orochimaru's fingers dug into his skull. "I am absorbing your chakra. Soon, you won't even be able to walk."

Kakashi clamped his eyes shut, unable to keep from sagging as his chakra and strength slowly drained away. But he managed to growl, "Do you really think I would come here without insurance?"

Orochimaru's hold loosened. "What?"

Kakashi licked his lips, tasting blood, then gave a shrill whistle. A moment later, a boom, then distant rumbling came from deeper in the caverns. Thank the shinobi gods. Pakkun and the others had done it.

Orochimaru twisted toward the disturbance, and hissed savagely. "What did you do?"

Kakashi managed a slight smile, though Orochimaru couldn't see it. "I have paper bombs set all throughout your headquarters. All I have to do is whistle for my ninken to set them off."

Orochimaru released him and took a step back. Then he laughed. "Well, Kakashi of the Sharingan, it seems you do live up to your reputation."

"Orochimaru, release him!"

Despite the snake's thick coils, Kakashi managed to turn his head enough to catch sight of Jiraiya striding into the room, white eyebrows drawn into a scowl. He sighed, nearly overcome with relief. With Jiraiya's help, doubtless they could wring the cure for Tsunade from Orochimaru.

Orochimaru hissed in irritation again, but he formed the sign and the snake disappeared. Kakashi fell to his knees and gasped, focusing on recovering chakra—and his strength. There was no time for weakness. "Thank you."

Jiraiya stopped next to Kakashi, arms crossed. "Tsunade sent me." He looked down; expression unreadable. "What were you thinking, coming here by yourself, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi exhaled and pushed to his feet. Had Tsunade hidden her condition from Jiraiya too? "I have to find a way to neutralize the chakra-seal, and I believe it came from Orochimaru. If—if I don't, she will die within days."

Jiraiya's eyebrows lowered even further. "Tsunade failed to mention that."

"I know nothing of this chakra seal," Orochimaru sneered. "Why would I poison all of the Land of Fire? Konoha is all I care about. Besides, I was busy trying to get my own asset."

 _Zabuki._ Kakashi fixed his gaze on Orochimaru. "We know about Zabuki too. What do you plan to do with him?"

Orochimaru laughed again, and uneasiness prickled along Kakashi's spine. What if he had been wrong about all of this? No. He couldn't afford to be wrong. He wouldn't fail Tsunade as he'd failed everyone else he'd loved.

"I failed to get Zabuki as my host body. He overpowered me and escaped, though he was wounded in the attempt. But, that Zabuki hates Konoha almost as much as I do. I expect he'll be heading there for his revenge once he heals from our fight." Orochimaru smiled slyly. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's going there now."

Now? Kakashi's stomach dropped. But Tsunade was there, unprotected and weak. Except... the seal. They still had to find a cure. He met Jiraiya's gaze, and his thoughts were mirrored in the Sannin's troubled eyes.

Something flickered across Jiraiya's face, maybe... acceptance? "Go, Kakashi. Make sure Tsunade is safe and protect Konoha. I will stay here and deal with Orochimaru."

Kakashi nodded. But Orochimaru's voice whispered in his ear just before he turned away. _"I had nothing to do with this chakra seal. But I think we both know someone who would go to great lengths to ensure Konoha's future is secure in his hands. His Root goes deep."_

At that moment, Kakashi realized Orochimaru was right. How had he not seen it before? He gave the former Sannin a brief nod, but he didn't have time to contemplate why Orochimaru would help him. He had to get to Tsunade. His chakra-depleted body could hardly do more than stumble, so Kakashi popped a military pill between his teeth and crunched it.

New energy surged through Kakashi's limbs, and he sped out of Orochimaru's hideout, focusing all of his being on making to Konoha and Tsunade, knowing he had to get there before Zabuki. Because if he didn't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm fairly certain it takes longer than one day to get to the Land of Sound from Konoha and vice-versa, buuuut we're going to ignore that for the sake of the story.


	24. Fire vs Iron

_Tsunade was cold... so cold. She wrapped her arms around her midsection, shivering uncontrollably. She turned slowly, but nothing surrounded her except empty darkness. Fear—a familiar fear—stabbed her gut._

_She was alone. Completely alone._

" _No." Her whisper magnified in the darkness. Tsunade spun, searching for someone, anyone. But there was nothing; nothing but her and the darkness. A tear broke free, but she swallowed the sob before it could echo around her._

_No, no, no. Where was she? Even as the question came to her, she knew. She was inside her mind. This hollow emptiness was all she had felt for the past twenty-seven years, until she had returned as the Godaime Hokage. But even then, it hadn't completely left. It had still existed, deep in her heart. A black cancer, worse than any chakra-absorbing seal, that no amount of gambling or sake could completely erase._

_Tsunade couldn't hold back her sobs any longer. She sank to her knees, warm tears running down her icy cheeks. Was this it, then? Was she going to die as alone as she had lived? "No, please. I don't... I don't want to be alone any more... please."_

_She curled into herself, feeling as though she was drowning. The cold darkness closed in, smothering every sense, crushing her bones under its massive weight._

" _Tsunade." The low murmur brushed her ear, and strong, warm arms encircled her from behind._

_She knew that voice. Tsunade spun to face Kakashi, his arms holding her close against his chest. The darkness began to fade, and she realized they were sitting on the couch in Kakashi's apartment. She was curled in his lap, holding a fistful of his shirt. But his face... Kakashi's mask was gone, though he didn't seem to care. She couldn't help staring, taking his features in, down to the beauty mark below the left side of his mouth. Her heart beat faster. He was perfect._

_And he was_ here _. She tightened her grip, pressing herself closer to him. "Don't leave me. Please. I—I don't want to be alone."_

_Kakashi's expression grew serious. Fierce, even. He leaned forward, eyes never leaving hers. Then he pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering for a moment before pulling back. "I will never leave you, Tsuna. I promise."_

_Tsunade couldn't breathe. Did he—did he know what that gesture meant to her? No, he couldn't... how could he? Yet, somehow, his innocence made it mean even more to her. She surrendered to his warmth, letting her cheek rest against his chest. Kakashi's steady heartbeat soothed her, and she could feel herself drifting..._

_A rumble shook Tsunade from her slumber. She lifted her head. "Wh—what was that?"_

_She looked at Kakashi, but he didn't answer. Instead, he crumbled; dissolving into the darkness. Tsunade lunged for him, crying out, but he was gone. Everything, his apartment, the couch, him, had vanished, replaced by darkness._

" _No!" Desperately, Tsunade staggered forward. Not again. Please, not again._

_Another rumble shook the foundations under her feet, and Tsunade fell. What was this—?_

Tsunade's eyes flew open, the pale light of morning through Kakashi's window blinding her. She gasped for breath, her pulse slowly receding. A dream. It had only been a horrible dream. Yet, in a way, it had almost felt familiar...

Then she realized the floor of Kakashi's apartment was still shaking, as if an earthquake had taken the village. Dread pierced Tsunade to her core, and she manage to push up to her knees, then to her feet. She stumbled against Kakashi's door and turned the handle, her weight opening the door. She caught herself on the outside rail, and stared.

A massive spike, dark red as blood and glinting like metal, larger than any of the buildings in Konoha, had erupted from the ground at an angle, the tip stopping just feet from the top of the hokage tower. A single figure stood on the spike's tip, surveying the village. He was too far for Tsunade to make out any features, but she didn't need to.

She knew who it was.

Tsunade gripped the rail, knuckles white. There was no way she could get down the stairs in her condition, much less confront him. Hand shaking, she reached into her obi and pulled out the military pill. She stared at it, pinched between her red nails. If she took the pill, that would be the end. The boost of energy and chakra would get her to the threat, but it would also give the seal enough chakra to finish her.

The only question was, how much time would it give her?

Tsunade clenched her jaw. Ultimately, it didn't matter. Whatever it gave her would have to be enough. Almost all of her shinobi were gone, including Kakashi and Jiraiya. The fate of Konoha was up to her now.

Tsunade crunched the pill, shoving away her thoughts. She didn't have time for regrets. Now was the time for action. The burst of energy and chakra nearly overwhelmed her. It had been weeks since she'd had this kind of strength. Tsunade leaped over the rail and sprang to the rooftops. As she jumped from roof to roof, steadily getting closer to the hokage tower, she spotted several Anbu gathering at the base of the spire. A few had even ventured cautiously on to the gleaming surface, weapons at the ready.

"Identify yourself!" one called to the figure standing high above them.

The figure spread his arms, bandage ends fluttering from his elbows, and the Anbu dropped back into defensive stances. "I am Zabuki of the Blood Iron, and I am here to see the hokage. If you deny me, your village will be destroyed."

Tsunade cursed, pushing herself faster. The Anbu were highly skilled, but the sickening feeling in her gut told her they didn't stand a chance. As hokage, she was the only one who could stop this. _Please, just let them survive until I get there._

"The hokage will not be bartered for! Surrender, or die!" The Anbu attacked, charging up the spire as one.

Zabuki lifted a hand, and the surface of the spire morphed; new, smaller spikes shooting up in front of the Anbu, knocking them back.

Tsunade leaped to the top of the hokage tower, landing just behind the rail. The wind caught her hair, and her haori billowed behind her as she planted her fists on her hips. "Zabuki!"

He spun to face her, his startlingly-blue eyes narrowed. His entire body was wrapped in bandages, except for his eyes and the short, spiky reddish-brown hair crowning his head. A split green knee-length skirt was belted around his waist, his only clothing besides the bandages. Tsunade frowned, noticing splotches that had bled through the bandages on several parts of his body, including his arms. Was he wounded? Yet, she didn't sense any fatigue or weakness such wounds would bring. She lifted her chin. "Stand down. I am the Godaime Hokage of Konoha."

"You?" Zabuki's harsh laugh was muffled by the bandages. "Don't try to deceive me. Where is Hiruzen Sarutobi?"

Tsunade's lips thinned. Well, she always had preferred action over pointless debates. Besides, she had a point to prove. She leaped across the rail with a shout—gathering chakra for extra power—and her fist struck the tip of the blood-iron spire.

The spire shattered underneath Zabuki and his eyes widened as he fell with the chunks of blood iron. Tsunade landed among the debris, facing Zabuki across the carnage as the dust settled. He, too, had landed on his feet, and he studied her with interest. "Impressive. No one has ever been able to destroy my blood iron before."

Tsunade curled her fingers into a fist. She was in no mood for delaying tactics. "Leave, or I will break you too."

Zabuki's dark eyebrows lifted in scorn. "I think not. Konoha and I have a score to settle, and you, Hokage, are going to pay the price."

Tsunade sighed, though she wasn't surprised. She glanced at the steadily-growing crowd surrounding them, and grimaced. She needed to take the fight away from here, somehow. But there was no way she could get Zabuki away without causing massive damage. She nodded slowly, fixing her gaze on her opponent. Then she would keep him here. _Right_ here. She rapidly formed the signs. "Earth-release! Barrier jutsu!"

Stone walls erupted from the ground and began to rise around her and Zabuki. He made no move to stop them; instead, he began slowly unwrapping the bandages from one of his hands. But several Anbu ran toward the walls, shouting.

Tsunade held up her hand, halting the Anbu. "No! By order of the hokage, no one is to enter here! Understood?"

The Anbu exchanged glances, then at last nodded grimly. But just before the rising walls blocked her view, a spiky yellow head rushed toward her, screaming, "No! You can't do this, Tsunade-baachan! I'm coming to help—!"

The walls reached their peak, sealing together with a thunderous boom, and blocking out the outside world. Tsunade briefly close her eyes. _Naruto, forgive me._ Then she faced Zabuki.

Zabuki's bandaged face shifted in a smirk as he gazed around the stone barrier. "This won't hold me for long."

"It will hold you long enough," Tsunade retorted. A stab ripped through her stomach, but she managed to keep her face neutral. The chakra seal was growing stronger, but she refused to succumb. Not now. Konoha needed her. She exhaled slowly. But perhaps she could buy time, time to regain her strength. "Why are you doing this?"

Zabuki paused in unwinding the bloodstained bandages. After a long moment, he continued unwinding, but slower. "Konoha was nowhere to be found when my village was raided and my family killed. When Mao found me and imprisoned me for years, only letting me out for his experimental and brutal training sessions. When I had to kill my trainer to prove I was ready." His gaze burned into Tsunade's. "My life is in ruins because of Konoha; I'm just returning the favor."

"I am sorry for your suffering," Tsunade said quietly. And she was. "But causing others the same pain isn't going to satisfy you."

"Oh, I think it will." Zabuki dropped the strip of linen. Blood dripped from his exposed palm. He thrust his hand at Tsunade, and blood gushed from the tiny gash. _Impossible._ No wound that size would bleed so mu—the blood thickened and morphed, forming into a huge wolf that gleamed like red steel.

So, this was blood iron.

Zabuki lowered his hand, and the wolf charged Tsunade, metallic teeth snarling. She crouched, keeping her gaze on the wolf, and cursed silently. She couldn't risk using too much strength, or she could severely damage Konoha, even with the barrier. And with the chakra seal... she didn't dare use chakra unless absolutely necessary.

Tsunade leaped to the side just before the wolf reached her, going high enough to gain a few extra seconds to plan her next—a blood iron chain wrapped around her wrist before she had time to react, and coiled around her body, tightening in a choke-hold. She landed on her feet and staggered, the chain cocooning down to her ankles.

The wolf launched itself at her, gleaming metallic claws outstretched. Tsunade tensed. She may have been caught off guard, but if Zabuki thought he could trap her this easily, he was a fool. She snapped the chains as if they were string and caught the end of the chain as it fell, then spun toward the wolf. She flicked the chain like a whip, and the loose end wrapped around the wolf's neck. She sent her electric chakra-disruption jutsu through the chain, and the wolf shuddered, then went limp.

As she'd thought, the blood iron conducted electricity just like normal metal. She pivoted, swinging the wolf at Zabuki.

Zabuki cursed and leaped back, but was too late. The wolf crashed into his chest, its dead weight knocking him to the ground. Tsunade jumped after him, pulling her fist back. If she could just get one punch in, she could finish— Zabuki extended both palms at her with a shout. Somehow, he'd managed to rip off the bandages from his other hand as well. Twin spikes—blood iron spears—shot from the two cuts on his hands at Tsunade with impossible speed.

Tsunade twisted, catching one of the spears between her feet, then reached for the other—pain stabbed through her shoulder as the tip embedded deep, slicing through muscle and scraping bone. She flipped backwards, gaining more room, and yanked out the spear to inspect the damage. Warm blood gushed down her right arm. It wasn't bad, but—

Agony like a red-hot knife pulsed through her shoulder. Black flashed over her vision, and when her eyes cleared, Tsunade found herself on one knee, gasping. What—what was this? It felt as if she'd been impaled by a hundred more spikes.

"Painful, isn't it?" Zabuki stood, eyes glittering. "Now that my blood has infused in yours, I can destroy you from the inside out."

Tsunade ground her teeth as the blood in her shoulder and arm grew into barbs, digging into her flesh and bone. She hissed out a curse. It would take too much chakra, but she didn't have a choice. Rapidly, she formed the signs, and her left hand glowed with healing chakra. She held it over the puncture wound, and focused on separating her blood cells from Zabuki's, extracting the foreign substances. At last, Zabuki's blood solidified at the surface, and she pulled the small blood iron spike out of her shoulder, and threw it to the side. "Not quite."

Zabuki stiffened, then stumbled back a step. "That is—is impossible. Unless..."

"Unless you are the greatest medical-nin in the shinobi world," Tsunade countered with a calm she didn't feel.

Zabuki's blue eyes stretched wide as he rasped, "You are Tsunade Senju, one of the legendary Sannin."

Tsunade didn't bother to answer. But she could tell by Zabuki's shifted stance he'd realized he had to take the battle more seriously if he wanted to survive. She'd have to take care of him quickly, before her chakra ran out. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure if she could in this condition. Not that she had a choice. For Konoha's sake, she had to win. She exhaled heavily. She had the Will of Fire, and she wouldn't fail.

Zabuki unwound the bandages from his wrists to his elbows, and let the blood-soaked linen fall. Blood immediately trickled from the many cuts across his wrist, almost as if... Zabuki noticed her expression, and rasped, "Any cut I receive never seals, nor can I bleed to death. I know, because—" he held up his slashed wrists, dark blood running down to his elbows "—I tried. Back before I had a reason to live."

Tsunade curled her fingers into fists, fighting a surge of horror and fury. What had Mao done to him, that he would try to kill himself? When this was over, she vowed, Mao would get what he deserved. But she didn't have time to dwell on it. The blood pumping from Zabuki's arms had begun to form. Blood iron wolves, hundreds and hundreds of them. They surrounded Zabuki, standing with his arms outstretched and head bowed. As one, the red metallic canine eyes fixed on Tsunade.

Tsunade tensed. It would take far too long to destroy them all, and time was something she didn't have. But what other choice did she have? She had to get through the wolves to get to Zabuki. Almost against her will, her gaze lifted to the peaked stone ceiling above them. If she destroyed the barrier, it would bury them alive. All of them.

The wolves charged, and Tsunade leaped, raising her fist above her head. _Not yet_. That would be her last resort. She landed, her fist connecting with the ground. It imploded around her, chunks of dirt and stone taking out nearly a third of the wolves. But using her strength had only been to buy her time. She would have to take them out in smaller numbers, to protect Konoha as much as possible.

Tsunade straightened, grimly facing the rest. But at this rate, destroying the barrier might be her only option.


	25. Lightning Cutter

Zabuki was here.

Kakashi had known it as soon as he'd seen the massive stone pyramid rising above Konoha's buildings. He shoved through the crowd surrounding the base, searching for long blonde hair and a green haori, though he already knew he wouldn't find her.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto tore toward him, blue eyes wild. Kakashi caught his student's shoulders, but Naruto didn't even stop talking to breathe. "You have to help Tsunade-baachan! She's inside the barrier with Zabuki!"

Kakashi bit back a curse and strode for the pyramid. "She's in there alone?"

"Hai." Naruto scowled. "I tried to follow her in, but those Anbu won't let me. We can't let her fight by herself!"

"I know, Naruto." Kakashi scanned the stone surface of the pyramid, but saw no gap or crevice. He'd have to enter another way. He began forming signs for the Rending Drill Fang, when a hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him cold.

The porcelain mask of an Anbu stared back at him. "Kakashi-san, the Godaime Hokage ordered everyone to stay out. We can't allow you to—"

Kakashi shoved the startled Anbu aside, and ran toward the pyramid. The Anbu shouted an order, and more rushed at Kakashi. He halted and spun, drawing a kunai. He'd fight his way in if he had—

Spiky-haired orange clones descended around him, throwing themselves on the Anbu. "Go, Kakashi-sensei!" a Naruto shouted, clinging to one of the Anbu's shoulders. "I've got them! Help Tsunade-baachan!"

Kakashi blurred through the signs. He vanished into the earth before the Anbu could reached him, his last glimpse of Naruto punching the air triumphantly. He smiled. _Thanks, Naruto._ He'd never been more grateful for Naruto's stubborn loyalty. Kakashi surfaced into the dim light inside the pyramid, and blinked as his eye adjusted. Fragments of blood iron and craters surrounded him, but he didn't care about any of it. He leaped over a large chunk of blood iron as he lifted his forehead protector, and his Sharingan-enhanced gaze zeroed in on the movement across the cavern. A mass of what looked like iron wolves charged from a wall of blood iron spikes, straight at Tsunade, who was surrounded by the remains of appeared to the same wolves.

Tsunade finished the signs for a jutsu, and crouched to slam her palm on the ground. A ripple of lightning chakra—likely her electrical disruptions jutsu—expanded out from her and flickered through the wolves. One by one, they shuddered and collapsed. Behind the wall of spikes crouched Zabuki himself. He was covered in nothing but bloodstained bandages, except for his eyes. Eyes that immediately fixed on Kakashi, and narrowed.

Tsunade straightened and swayed, breathing heavily. Her last attack seemed to have taken out the last of the iron wolves. He cursed. But the chakra-seal... she shouldn't be using chakra. As if sensing Kakashi's presence, Tsunade spun, her gaze, too, fixing on him in shock. "Ka-Kakashi? What are you doing—?"

Kakashi opened his mouth—but Zabuki extended a hand, and faster than thought, a chain shot out of his palm at Tsunade. She leaped back, but Zabuki had anticipated her reaction and thrust out his other hand. Another blood iron chain caught her ankle, yanking her down before she could react.

"Chidori!" Kakashi sent the lightning chakra into a kunai and hurled it at the blood iron chain as he ran for Tsunade. But he was too late, and Tsunade crashed into the broken ground with a cry. The next moment, Kakashi reached her, and his Chidori-infused kunai cut through the chain like butter. Lightning flickered down the length of the iron chain, and Zabuki snarled, his hand smoking as he fell back.

Kakashi picked up Tsunade and leaped a safe distance back. He landed in a crouch, and carefully lowered her to the ground. "Tsunade-sama, are you all right? That was quite a hit."

Tsunade groaned, and pushed off his chest to sit up. "I'm—I'm fine." She glared at him; eyes hot. "Why are you here?"

"Mmm." Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, very aware they didn't have much time before Zabuki recovered. "Well, very recently I made a promise that I wouldn't leave. And I have no intention of breaking that now."

Tsunade stared at him. Her gaze softened a fraction, then she blinked and looked back at the wall of blood iron spikes concealing Zabuki. "Your lightning... it affected him."

Kakashi glanced at Tsunade's ankle where the chain had caught her. Electrical burn marks marred her bare skin, and he winced. _Fool_. He should have thought of that. "Maa, sorry about that. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Tsunade shook her head as if about to object—then an odd expression crossed her face.

Kakashi frowned. Did she sense something? "What is it?"

"The chakra seal... the pain has diminished." Tsunade's blonde eyebrows furrowed, but the moment passed and she shook her head again. "Never mind. It doesn't matter. We need to stop Zabuki."

Tsunade struggled to rise, but Kakashi placed his hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "No. Regain your strength, Tsunade-sama. Let me take him on for a little while."

Kakashi didn't wait for her to answer. Instead, he drew a kunai and charged Zabuki's wall of spikes, dodging and leaping over the shattered pieces of blood iron. Charging in without a plan—he almost didn't recognize himself. With a shout, Zabuki leaped over his spikes, eyes wild. He flung his arm in a horizontal arc, the slinging blood morphing into hundreds of blood iron spikes. The gleaming metal shards descended toward Kakashi; too many to avoid.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade cried out behind him. "Don't let them hit you!"

The warning in her words—clearly, these spikes caused more damage than a normal projectile. Kakashi set his jaw. But he couldn't move; if he did, they would hit Tsunade. He didn't have much chakra left, but he formed the sign anyway. A barrier of ten shadow clones appeared in front of him, and he dropped down.

The meaty _thunks_ of the spikes puncturing flesh filled his ears. The shadow clones vanished in puffs of smoke, having fulfilled their purpose. Kakashi stood—and staggered as a sharp pain stabbed his thigh. He looked down. One of the spikes had gotten past the clones, and embedded in his thigh. No matter. He'd fought with worse—bloodied spikes burst out of his leg, ripping through muscles, tendons, and flesh. Kakashi staggered and collapsed, hardly able to think through the pain. _How—?_ It was as if the spikes had come from—from inside him.

"No!" Tsunade leaped past him, her heel striking the ground. The eruption of boulders and earth knocked Zabuki back, burying him. Tsunade spun, and knelt at Kakashi's side. Tears glittered in her eyes as she focused on the wound. Her hands glowed with healing chakra, and she held them over his shredded thigh.

Though the pain was greater than anything he'd experienced, Kakashi couldn't let her heal him. It would take too much chakra. He reached out to push her hand away. "No. I can't let you use your chakra on—"

"Silence." The glare Tsunade gave him was enough to shrivel the words on his tongue. "As your hokage, I am ordering you to get out of here once I heal your leg. If I bring down these walls, it will take down Zabuki as well."

Kakashi tensed. She couldn't be serious. "Tsunade-sama, I will not—"

"Kakashi. It's the only way." Tsunade bit her lip, but held his gaze unwaveringly. "I don't have much time left, but I will gladly give up what I do have for Konoha."

Finally, her full meaning hit him. She intended to destroy the cavern, killing both herself and Zabuki. Kakashi couldn't breathe around the iron vice clamping his throat. "But—but the lightning from my Chidori... didn't it start to neutralize the chakra seal? There's still a chance. You can't—"

Zabuki burst out of the rubble behind them with a howl. He stood, swaying, blotches of fresh blood darkening new patches all over his body. His burning eyes fixed on Kakashi, with Tsunade kneeling at his side as she extracted the last shard of blood iron. "I will kill—kill you both!"

Tsunade cursed, her honey eyes dark with desperation. "Kakashi, get out of—"

"I never leave a comrade behind." Especially not one he loved. But he couldn't say that. Kakashi pushed up to a sitting position, grimacing. With so much blood lost, he wasn't sure how much fighting he could handle. But he had to try. If he could just get to his feet—

Zabuki tore the bandages from his torso, exposing his bare chest—and stabbed a blood iron kunai into his heart. The shinobi ripped the blade free, and screamed as the blood exploded from his body, growing and hardening into a metallic spike aimed straight at Kakashi, too fast for his weak and battered body to avoid.

_Thunk._

Kakashi hadn't realized he'd clamped his eyes shut until warm liquid dripped on his cheek. His eyes flew open and immediately connected with Tsunade's, her face only inches away. She managed a weak smile, then coughed, spattering him with her blood. "Looks—looks like I made it in time."

Only then did he see the tip of the iron spike protruding from Tsunade's abdomen as she crouched over him. She gripped the spike with blood-slicked hands, holding it in place. "Kakashi, your Chidori."

In an instant, Kakashi saw her intention. The spike was still connected to Zabuki's heart at its base. The amount of lightning in his Chidori would be conducted through the blood iron, and likely kill him. But... his gaze locked on Tsunade, trembling as she held Zabuki in place with her body. She wouldn't be protected from the lightning either.

_Rin's hand reached for him as his lightning cutter plunged through her heart, taking her life with it. Kakashi cried out, but he couldn't stop it—couldn't save her from himself._

Kakashi jerked back to the present, shaking and sweating. _No._ He couldn't do it. Not again. Not to Tsunade.

"Kakashi." Tsunade held his gaze steadily, though her eyes were soft with understanding. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. "It's—it's the only way. You can do it, for Konoha. For... for me."

 _The only way._ She was right, but Kakashi still couldn't move. His muscles had frozen, as if paralyzed with fear. "I—I can't—"

Tsunade's eyes blazed with sudden fire. "Now, Kakashi!"

As if her words lit a fire under him, Kakashi was able to move. He shifted his good leg under him as he gathered the last shreds of his chakra. Electricity crackled up his arm, and he thrust his hand at the spike. "Chidori!"

Tsunade cried out in agony—the sound piercing his heart—but she held the blood iron spike in place. Zabuki screamed, but Kakashi couldn't see anything except for the white tendrils of lightning surrounding him and Tsunade.

The lightning flickered and vanished. Tsunade slumped forward, and fell off the spike. Kakashi lurched up, catching her, and gently lowered her to the ground, supporting her upper body against him. Electrical burns covered her body, and she sagged against him, limp as a child's rag doll. All that remained of Zabuki was a blackened, smoking corpse. But he hardly cared. All that mattered to him was the woman in his arms.

Kakashi's erratic, frantic pulse pounded in his ears and his chest compressed so tightly he couldn't breathe. "Tsuna? Tsuna, please. Can you hear me?"

Tsunade groaned, and her eyes fluttered open. Relief crashed around Kakashi, and he brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face as she focused on him, her bloodied lips forming a slight smile. "Kakashi. It's—it's finished." She sighed, gaze growing clouded. "Perhaps... I have finally redeemed myself for all those years."

Her life force was fading. Terror struck Kakashi, driving out all relief. "Tsunade, listen to me. The—the chakra seal? Do you still feel it?"

Tsunade frowned, but it was a long moment before she answered, "No... the lightning must have neutralized it, at least for now. How strange. And I thought I tried everything." She coughed up more blood, and her eyes drifted closed. "At least—at least I can say goodbye. Kakashi... I..."

Kakashi shook her shoulder gently. Desperately. "Tsuna, activate your seal. You still have time to heal yourself."

Tsunade's breathing slowed, and her eyes didn't open. She sagged limply against him, her pulse barely more than a flutter.

No. _No._ He couldn't lose her too. He couldn't. Kakashi placed his scraped and bloody hand against her cheek, and prayed she could still hear him. "I—I said that all my precious people are gone, but that isn't true anymore. You are precious to me. I can't lose anyone else that I... love."

Tears burned his eyes, and he clamped them shut. But a tear still leaked free. He clenched his teeth, fighting back sobs. Something brushed his masked cheek, catching the tear. Kakashi opened his eyes, and stared back into Tsunade's glistening, honey ones. He no longer cared about what should or shouldn't be. He pressed his lips to her forehead, and pulled back just enough to whisper, "Please, try. I need you."

"Kakashi..." Tears filled Tsunade's eyes. But she slowly lifted her hands and formed the release to the seal. Her violet diamond began to glow, but her eyes closed and she slumped back against Kakashi as her seal marks appeared across her face and down her arms.

Kakashi held her tighter, but as he watched, her burns and wounds—including the gaping hole in her abdomen—began to heal and close. Something released in his chest, and he could breathe again. At last, the glow faded, leaving her wounds sealed. Kakashi sat motionless, too exhausted to do anything but watch Tsunade breathe in his arms. She was alive, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

"Rasengan!" Naruto thrust the ball of chakra into the stone barrier Tsunade-baachan had erected. Bits of stone flew, stinging his face, but he just gritted his teeth and squinted, pushing even harder. He wasn't going to stop until he broke through.

 _Stupid Tsunade-baachan._ Why had she gone alone? He could have helped her! Didn't she that the only way to win was with comrades at your side? At least the Anbu had given up trying to stop him. Or maybe they'd finally decided to listen to what he'd been trying to tell them. They just stood behind him, watching silently. Probably, they thought that helping him would defy the hokage. Not that he cared. He'd get through whether they helped him or not.

The rock crumbled under his hand and a section of the wall caved in. Naruto scrambled through, coughing in the thick clouds of dust. "Tsunade-baachan? Kakashi-sensei?"

He ran around the fragments of red metal and rubble, finally spotting two figures huddled on the ground. It was them! He bounded over, grinning—but his grin vanished as soon as he saw Tsunade-baachan. Kakashi-sensei was cradling her, but she looked bad. Really bad. Blood soaked her chest and stomach, and had dried in rivulets down her arms and fingers. Her eyes were closed and more blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. He swallowed, unable to take his gaze from her. But... but she had to be alive. She had to be! "Kakashi-sensei, she's going to be okay, right?"

Kakashi-sensei glanced up at him, his Sharingan still uncovered, and Naruto realized with a jolt that both of Sensei's eyes were red and wet, as if... as if... had Kakashi-sensei been crying? His sensei blinked slowly. "She's breathing."

Relief flooded Naruto. "So that means she'll live, right?"

Kakashi-sensei lowered his gaze, staring at Tsunade as if he couldn't look anywhere else. "If anyone can survive this, it's Tsunade."

Naruto knew he wasn't the smartest ninja, but he also knew when someone was avoiding his questions, like Kakashi-sensei was now. If Kakashi-sensei thought her injuries were that serious, then... he stood frozen. What if—what if Tsunade-baachan didn't survive? A lump grew in his throat, choking him. Maybe he didn't know what it was like to have a mother; to have a real family, but he'd made his own family.

Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei. Ero Sennin. Sakura and Sasuke.

And Tsunade-baachan.

Ever since she'd kissed his forehead—well, he'd thought it was kinda gross at first, but then he'd decided he liked it, though he'd never tell anyone—and told him to become a good man, he'd sometimes wonder if the way he felt about Tsunade-baachan was how he would have felt about his mother. Besides Iruka-sensei, she was the first one who believed he would become hokage. She always believed him.

"Tsunade-sama!"

Naruto blinked as Shizune rushed past him and knelt at Tsunade's side. The next moment, he was surrounded by Anbu and other medical-nins. They crowded in front of him, blocking his view of Tsunade-baachan. He gripped the necklace she'd given him, the edges of the crystal digging into his palm.

"Quickly, we need to get her to the hospital!" Shizune shouted. Her voice lowered, apparently directed at Kakashi. "Did she—did she activate her Creation Rebirth?"

"Hai."

Naruto watched silently as the medical-nin lifted Tsunade's limp body from Kakashi's arms, and carefully placed her on a stretcher. Anger bubbled under the surface and the heat of the nine-tails chakra threatened to suffocate him. Next time... next time he swore he would be strong enough to protect Tsunade-baachan. He clenched the necklace tighter. He wouldn't let this happen to her again.

Two medical-nins picked up the stretcher and turned toward the opening in the barrier. Naruto stared at Tsunade-baachan's unconscious face, and a shout escaped him before he realized what he was doing. "Wait!"

At Shizune's nod, the medical-nins stopped. Naruto ignored them as he reached Tsunade's side and fixed his gaze on her. His throat tightened, but he grabbed her hand and tried to smile for her sake. "You'd better wake up, Tsunade-baachan. I'm not—" he gulped— "not ready to be hokage yet. Konoha needs you. Believe it!"

He was staring at her face so intently, he almost didn't notice when her fingers compressed around his, ever so slightly. She didn't open her eyes, but he knew, knew, that she had heard him.

Naruto released Tsunade-baachan's hand as the medical-nins continued on, a wide grin stretching his face. She was going to be okay; he was certain of it. Elation lifted the heavy weight from his chest and he carefully tucked his necklace back under his jacket. Just like she believed in him, he'd believe in her. Konoha needed her.

And he needed her too.


	26. Under the Mask

The warm darkness of unconsciousness slowly faded, leaving Tsunade with a single thought. Was she dead?

Tsunade didn't really see any other option, though she had a strange reluctance to open her eyes, as if that would hold off reality. Defeating Zabuki had been her last act as hokage, and while she didn't regret it... she didn't want to be dead yet. The thought surprised her; after all, for years she had wished she was no longer alive. Life hadn't seemed worth living without Nawaki and Dan.

But now... Tsunade curled her cold fingers into fists. She had a purpose. There was still so much she wanted to do as hokage; so much she wanted to do for Konoha. And Kakashi... an invisible tear wet her cheek. There were so many things she hadn't been able to tell him. Now, he, too, was gone. Tsunade firmed her chin. But her time was up. It was time to open her eyes and accept her new reality, whatever that may be. At least she would be able to see Nawaki and Dan again.

Tsunade opened her eyes... and blinked in confusion. She hadn't exactly expected the afterlife to look like a dark hospital room. Not that she had any idea what it _should_ look like. "Hello?" Her voice rasped weakly, so she tried again, "Anyone here?"

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune's face appeared over her, stricken with relief. "You're awake! How are you feeling?"

Tsunade stared at her assistant. As far as she knew, Shizune wasn't dead. That meant... an overwhelming feeling flooding her entire being. Unable to process, she finally managed, "I'm not—not dead?"

Shizune laughed, though it came out more like a choking sob. "Of course not! You have your Creation Rebirth, remember? But you used so much chakra fighting Zabuki that you have been unconscious for five days."

But the chakra seal... Tsunade grasped the hem of her hospital gown, then stilled. The dark, gnawing presence of the seal was gone. Kakashi's chakra-infused lightning must have neutralized it enough for her Creation Rebirth to finish it off. How strange to think it would have such a weakness. And she'd thought she had tried every— _Kakashi_. She pushed herself up, failing to keep the franticness out of her voice. "And Kakashi?"

"He is fine," Shizune assured her. "He only needed a couple days' rest. Zabuki, on the other hand, didn't survive."

Tsunade sat back, relaxing a little. Her last moments of consciousness were a bit fuzzy, but Kakashi was alive and that was all that mattered. Still, there must have been some concern she wouldn't recover, which led to the question... "Who did the council elect in my stead?"

Shizune winced. "Danzō Shimura."

So much for relaxing. She needed to get back to her position as soon as possible. Tsunade eyed Shizune and grimaced. But no matter what she said, Shizune wasn't going to let her leave. Still... there might be a way to get past her. She pressed a hand to her stomach. "Could you bring me some food? I feel like I haven't eaten in five days."

"Of course, Tsunade-sama! I'll be right back." Shizune hurried to the door, but glanced back sternly just before she turned the knob. "I have an Anbu guarding outside who is instructed not to let you leave. There's no point in trying anything while I'm gone."

Tsunade didn't try to hide her scowl as she sank back on to the pillows. Shizune knew her too well. She waited a good minute after Shizune's footsteps had faded, then slid her bare legs out of bed, cringing when her feet touched the cold floor. But not well enough, if Shizune thought she couldn't handle a single Anbu. Tsunade wobbled, then walked to the door, gaining strength with every step. She grasped the knob, and glanced down ruefully at her rather revealing hospital gown. Oh, well. She'd stop by her quarters to change before going to the hokage tower. Such intricacies weren't going to stop her from saving Konoha from Danzō Shimura. She flung open the door and boldly strode out to confront her Anbu.

But instead of the Anbu, an all-too-familiar-figure slouched against the wall next to her door, spiky silver hair flopping over his forehead protector.

Tsunade froze; everything screaming to a stop. Including her heart. Every moment of their fight with Zabuki flooded back, including Kakashi's last, desperate words as he'd held her broken body. When she'd thought—and accepted—that she was going to die. Being cradled in Kakashi's arms wasn't the worst way to go. But Kakashi's insistent voice, cracking with emotion, hadn't let her drift away.

" _You are precious to me. I can't lose anyone else that I... love."_

Tsunade swallowed thickly, struggling to regain her composure. No. She was _not_ ready to see him. She couldn't—couldn't handle this right now. Or ever. If she let herself think about it... she would crumble. And that wasn't an option right now.

Kakashi straightened and dipped his masked chin, bringing her focus back to the present. "Tsunade-sama." His gray eye met hers, then quickly flickered away. "I'm glad to see you are awake and well."

Tsunade straightened in an attempt to inject some steel into her spine, and prayed her voice wouldn't tremble. "Ah, hai. So am I."

"What are you doing out here?" Kakashi was looking at her again, this time with his half-lidded gaze and hands in his pockets, for all appearances his normal, collected self.

But Tsunade's profession required her to be a master at reading body language. Though Kakashi stood easily, every muscle in his body coiled with tension. She sighed. There was no point in trying to deceive him. "I'm leaving."

Kakashi tilted his head. "Maa, well, that's a problem, as I've been ordered not to let you leave under any circumstances."

Tsunade scoffed, more to hide her inability to come up with an answer than anything else. "You're not Anbu."

"Former Anbu," Kakashi corrected, his eye creasing in a smile. "It's an easy mistake."

Tsunade glowered at him. This was getting nowhere. And with every passing moment, her pulse beat faster and she increasingly felt like she might vomit. She lifted her chin. That left her with one option. So, she started past Kakashi, straight for the exit. A firm hand caught her shoulder. Kakashi's grip didn't hurt, but it was strong and unyielding, forcing her to stop. Tsunade shot a glare at the infuriating, stubborn man. "Kakashi, I am leaving."

Kakashi studied her, apparently considering her statement. He released her shoulder. "Maa, all right. If you're so determined to get out, then I will let you go. _If_ you pass my test to prove you're strong enough."

Oh, the arrogance. Tsunade didn't try to keep her annoyance from clipping each word. " _What_ test?"

Kakashi shrugged casually. "A one-on-one taijutsu match."

Tsunade opened her mouth, then closed it, speechless. Of all the... he was doing the same test she'd given him back in the hospital so long ago. She narrowed her eyes. Was this some kind of joke? But Kakashi seemed to be all seriousness, and it _would_ be her fastest way out of here. Why not? "Fine. What are we waiting for?"

Kakashi led her down to the hospital courtyard without a word. Long shadows from the setting sun cast across the grass, shrouding half of the empty courtyard in darkness. A cool breeze rustled the leaves, and Tsunade shivered in her thin hospital gown. Bother. She certainly wasn't wearing the best clothes to spar in, but at the moment she didn't care. She just wanted to get this over with. And get away from Kakashi. He stopped a couple of feet away, and faced her. Tsunade frowned. He wasn't giving himself much room to maneuver. Nor did he make any move to attack. She huffed. _Fine_. He was asking for it.

Tsunade struck first; a hard jab directly at Kakashi's chest. But he made no attempt to dodge it. Instead, he caught her fist with both hands, his warm fingers wrapping around hers... almost cradling her hand. As if his touch had taken control of her body, Tsunade's arm went limp. The fight drained out of her, and she lifted her confused gaze to Kakashi's. And realized they stood much too close. But strangely, she couldn't make herself move away.

 _Fool._ Tsunade shook herself, hard. She pulled her hand back, and crossed her arms to give herself a barrier. Just to be safe, she kept her tone sharp and direct. "Didn't you bring me down here for a taijutsu match?"

Kakashi lifted his shoulders in a shrug, and slid his hands into his pockets. "No. I brought you down here so we could be alone."

Tsunade's thoughts promptly turned into an incoherent mush. Heat flooded her body, so constricting she could hardly breathe. _What—why... was he...?_ Somehow, she managed to say evenly, "Well... we're alone."

Kakashi nodded, finally looking away. "I discovered who was behind the chakra seal."

Tsunade blinked slowly, his words registering. Of course. The chakra seal. A sharp, acute disappointment pierced her chest, but she forcibly pushed it away. Idiot. She had no reason to be disappointed. At least, no reason she wanted to admit—no. She would _not_ think about it. "Who was it?"

"Danzō Shimura. I don't have confirmation, but I used to be in his Root organization. I know it was him. Leaving no trace... the fact that it was meant directly for you... I only wish I had realized it earlier." Kakashi shook his head. "But I'm not entirely sure why he would do it."

 _Danzō_. Tsunade fumed. Confirmation or not, she trusted Kakashi's instincts. And it made sense. "I'm not surprised that snake is behind it. He never approved of me becoming the Godaime, and he's made that very clear."

Kakashi watched her intently. "Will you confront him about it?"

"Of course," Tsunade snapped, though her anger wasn't directed at Kakashi. Danzō had had his dirty hands in Konoha's affairs for too long. He was nothing more than a disease, one she intended to get rid of. She focused back on Kakashi. As someone who used to work for Danzō... "I would like you to be present when I do."

Kakashi inclined his head silently. The darkness had grown so much she could barely make out his features. How late was it? Tsunade sighed, suddenly bone-weary. "Is that all?"

Instead of answering, Kakashi stepped closer. He stood so close the intensity in his eye seemed to burn through her. And then she knew he hadn't brought her here because of Danzō. He'd brought her out here for this. His low baritone sent shivers down her spine as he murmured, "Ask me."

Tsunade couldn't swallow past the lump in her throat, and gripped fistfuls of her hospital gown to keep her hands from trembling. "Did you—did you mean it?" Her whisper came out as barely more than a rasp. "That I am... precious to you? That you... " _Love me._ But she couldn't make herself finish. Nor did she know what she would do with his answer.

Kakashi dipped his chin, bringing his masked face closer to hers. His voice was low, but firm with absolute resolve. "Hai."

Hot, prickling pressure built behind Tsunade's eyes, and she blinked rapidly, forcing her emotions back. She needed to stop this. Now. "Kakashi, I... care about you too, but this—this can't happen."

Kakashi's unwavering gaze fixed on hers. "I meant what I said, Tsunade. I love you."

If he had ripped her heart out, it couldn't have hurt any more. A part of Tsunade wanted to cry at hearing the words she had longed to hear. But the other half wanted to scream at hearing words she had never wanted to hear again. Her chest heaved as she struggled to hold her tears in. Why did this have to happen?

Kakashi's eye searched her face, nervous and... hopeful. "I couldn't tell you for a long time. But when I realized I might—might lose you, I knew it was my last chance. I had to say something." He awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. "Maa, it seems crazy, doesn't it? But—"

 _No_. She couldn't let him say anything else, or she would crumble. "Of course you're attracted to me." Tsunade pointed at her face, hand trembling. "I—I look like this. You aren't the first, and you won't be the last."

Kakashi stared at her, but instead of getting angry as she'd expected, his gaze softened. "Then show me."

Why did he do this to her? Tsunade could only whisper, "What?"

Kakashi took another step toward her, gaze and voice steady. "Show me... you."

Terror stabbed Tsunade to her core. _No, no, no._ She turned away, unable to look Kakashi in the eye, and somehow managed a weak laugh. "How can you ask that of me? I haven't even—even seen your face."

Kakashi didn't answer. A breeze rustled the leaves overhead. At last, Tsunade couldn't stand the silence any longer. She forced herself to face Kakashi. Her stomach dropped.

No... he hadn't. He couldn't.

But Kakashi gazed back at her, expression vulnerable and open, his mask pulled down around his neck and forehead protector in his hand.

Tsunade couldn't swallow past the painful cramp in her throat. He was attractive, of course. That had been obvious even with the mask on. But the other things... the curve of his lower lip. The beauty mark below his mouth. Somehow... they almost seemed familiar. As if she'd seen his face before. But that was impossible. She knew he'd never shown anyone his face before. And that made the pain even greater.

"Kakashi..." Tsunade whispered, every syllable cutting her deeper. "It's not what you think. I don't—I don't even look fifty. Every time I use my Creation Rebirth... it ages my appearance many years over."

Kakashi closed the gap between them, and took Tsunade's hand, sending a tremor to her core. "Maa, do you really think I'm that shallow?"

Tsunade closed her eyes. Why was she fighting so hard? Once she showed him what she truly looked like, it would be over. Wasn't that what she wanted? Besides, he'd removed his mask for her. Only her. She wanted— _needed_ —to return the gesture of trust, no matter how painful.

 _All right_. Tsunade exhaled, and opened her eyes. But she fixed her gaze on her hand in Kakashi's as she released the transformation. She couldn't bear to see his face when he saw hers. Her skin wrinkled and sank, exposing veins. Whatever softness she'd had was gone, replaced by bony, withered fingers. Tsunade bit her lip, shame creeping over her. She knew what the rest of her looked like.

"Tsuna."

Kakashi's gentle, intimate use of her name sent her pulse racing. He ran his thumb across the back of her hand, and Tsunade shivered. Finally, she lifted her gaze to his, hating what she knew she would see. But Kakashi's lips were curved slightly, and his eyes held nothing but tenderness. "Do you think I fell for you because of how you look? This..." He lifted his free hand, and placed it against her cheek, his palm warming her skin. "This shows what you have given up for others."

Tsunade blinked back tears. She opened her mouth, but no words would come out. Why did he have to—

Kakashi released her hand, and slid his around her waist, his touch leaving burning trails across the bare skin of her back, exposed by the opening of her hospital gown. He pulled her close, pressing his body against hers, closing every space between them. Tsunade gasped, the warm pressure of his hips and chest sending fire through her veins. But she made no attempt to pull away. Instead, she gave in to her longing, leaning into his embrace. Why did it have to feel so... right? As his gaze pulled her in, she gave in to the words she'd wanted to say for so long. "Kakashi... I love you."

Kakashi's gaze dropped to her lips. He leaned down, whispering hoarsely, "Tsuna..."

Tsunade couldn't hold herself back any longer, nor did she want to. She tilted her face up and rose on her toes, meeting him halfway. When her lips met Kakashi's, warm and firm against hers, she forgot everything. Everything but Kakashi. She melted into him, unable to help the moan in her throat as she returned his kiss with all the feeling and emotion she had repressed.

And for the first time in twenty-seven years, the cold emptiness in her chest was gone, filled with glowing warmth. This... this was what it felt like to be completely, blissfully, happy.

* * *

Kakashi's fingers tangled in Tsunade's hair as he kissed her, never wanting to let her go. After she'd made the little moan in her throat, there had been no going back. If he had his way, he'd keep kissing her forever. _She loved him._ This... this was what he'd always wanted.

Finally, Kakashi pulled back, incapable of doing anything but gasp for breath. He kept his eyes closed, savoring the warmth of Tsunade's body. "Do you—do you remember when you asked what my dream was?"

Tsunade shifted closer, her voice breathless, "Hai."

Kakashi breathed in the scent of her hair, the silky strands brushing his face. "I couldn't answer you then, because I didn't have one. But now I know." She looked up at him, cheeks flushed, and his words faded to a rasp as he lost himself in her honey eyes. "You, Tsuna. You are my dream."

Tsunade's gaze pulled him in, and her fingers slid along his jaw to frame his face, guiding him back down. "And this," she murmured, "was mine."

She kissed him again, and a warm fullness such as Kakashi had never felt before flooded his body; a sensation he didn't know how to describe. No, he _did_ know. It was a feeling he had longed for, but had eluded him for the past twenty years.

Contentment. At last, he was at peace.

Tsunade shuddered against him, and abruptly pulled away. Kakashi reached for her, but she shook her head, eyes glistening. "Kakashi... we can't do this. _I_ can't do this. I'm the hokage, and I have chosen Konoha first. I can't let myself put you before my duties, because if we—if we did this, I would.""

Ah. He should have expected reality would set in sooner rather than later. Kakashi nodded, though he'd known she would say that. Prepared for it, even. In fact, he would have been disappointed if she hadn't. But he knew what he wanted. He only hoped—with all of his heart—that Tsunade would want it too. "Hai, I know. But you won't be hokage forever."

Tsunade stared at him, eyes widening as she realized what he was saying. "Kakashi... I could be hokage for ten more years. Or longer."

"I know." Kakashi ran his thumb along her impossibly soft bottom lip, and brought his gaze back up to hers. "And I will wait. I'll wait for you as long as it takes."

" _You must fight for what you love, no matter how long it takes."_

And he intended to.

Tsunade paled, though the flush on her cheeks grew deeper. "Kakashi, I can't ask you to do that. What if—"

Kakashi silenced her with a kiss, and let his lips linger on hers, tasting her euphoric sweetness. But it was also bittersweet, knowing this would be their last for a long time. At last, he pulled back and rested his forehead against Tsunade's. "Tsuna. You are worth however long it takes. Will you wait with me?"

A tear traced down Tsunade's cheek, but her tremulous, beautiful smile set her eyes aglow, and he knew her answer before she whispered, "Hai, I will wait. As long as it takes."

Kakashi closed his eyes as he tightened his arms around her. Suddenly, the years ahead seemed like a lifetime. He savored the feel of Tsunade; the scent of her hair, the warmth of her skin. But if there was one thing he was certain of, it was worth it.


	27. Burdens

_A small, warm hand gripped hers. "You'd better wake up, Tsunade-baachan. I'm not—not ready to be hokage yet."_

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune's suspicious voice penetrated through Tsunade's memories. "Is your report coming along well?"

Tsunade blinked, refocusing on the parchment in front of her. Two beads of ink had dripped from her pen, blotting out half of the single sentence she had written. She scowled. "I don't see why I have to write the report for Zabuki's attack. He impaled me; isn't that torture enough?"

Shizune cleared her throat. "Well... you were the one who fought him. As I recall, you forbade anyone else from assisting. Kakashi-san was only present for the last few minutes." She stepped closer; dark brows creased. "You look pale. Are you sure you don't want to spend one more night in the hospital?"

"No!" Her yelp came out at a higher pitch than normal, and Tsunade cringed. Of course, Shizune didn't know what had happened in the hospital courtyard last night, but it didn't help that the heat of Kakashi's kisses were the first thing that came to mind. And the foolish smile that randomly seized her face would be a dead giveaway. "I am fine, Shizune. I was just thinking."

About Naruto. Which reminded her, she needed to go see him. Shizune looked doubtful, but Tsunade shrugged it off. As long as her assistant didn't guess what had actually happened last night, she could live with her nagging. Tsunade pushed back from her desk. "I need a break. I'll return shortly." Before Shizune could open her mouth, she held up a hand. "No drinking. I have an important meeting later today, remember?"

Shizune sighed with the resignation of someone who knew she had lost. "All right."

Tsunade answered with a wave as she strode out the door. Outside of the hokage tower, workers were clearing up the last of the rubble from her fight with Zabuki. She skirted around the damage, but several of the workers noticed her and bowed respectfully. A few even called out their gratitude for her protection of the village. She nodded in return, and continued on toward the orphanage with a smile. Moments like these reassured her that she'd made the right decision to become the Godaime Hokage. Forget Danzō. Forget the elders. This was where she was meant to be.

But her smile faded when she reached the orphanage. The very decrepit orphanage. _Children_ lived here? Tsunade frowned as she mounted the creaking stairs. One of the sagging boards broke under her foot, and she cursed, barely catching herself from plunging through the gap. True, she'd been extremely busy since becoming hokage four months ago, but she should have made time to come here earlier. How had Hiruzen-sensei let the condition of the orphanage get so bad?

Well, at least she knew what she would have Shizune add to the top of her to-do list.

Tsunade knocked on a worn green door, and raised an eyebrow at the accompanying crash and yelp inside. A moment later, the door was flung open by Naruto, who was hopping on one foot, his face scrunched in pain. His blue eyes bugged out. "Tsunade-baachan? You're out of the hospital?" He hastily put his foot down and beamed. "You can come in if you want!"

"Thanks," Tsunade said dryly, and stepped inside. She took off her heels—and they dropped to the floor, forgotten, as she took in Naruto's room, horrified. "Naruto! What is all this?"

It was, for lack of a better word, a pigsty. Trash and leftover food covered the table, and random clothes were strewn around the room; on the bed, the chair, the floor. Wasn't there some kind of discipline here? Or were the children left to their own devices? One thing was for sure, she never would have Nawaki get away with this. And she wasn't about to let Naruto live in filth either.

"Oh..." Naruto scratched the back of his neck. "I would've cleaned up some if I knew you were coming. I don't, um, get visitors much."

Tsunade stilled, the pang in her chest sudden and aching. The poor kid never had anyone visit him? At that moment, she knew she would have Shizune make time in schedule every week to come to the orphanage. But she also knew Naruto didn't want her sympathy. So, she planted her hands on her hips and faced the room briskly. "Well, you have a visitor now. Let's get cleaning."

"Huh?" Naruto gaped her, his obvious excitement fizzling out. "But you're here—why do I have to clean?"

"Baka." Tsunade flicked his forehead, albeit gently. " _We're_ going to clean, because I said so. Quit talking, and get to work. Your hokage has given you an order."

Naruto grumbled, but he obeyed. Tsunade removed her haori and hung it by the door. After ten minutes of searching, Naruto found a garbage bag to put all the trash in while Tsunade gathered up the dirty clothes. She took a single whiff and nearly gagged. She'd have to get these washed. Maybe twice.

An hour later, Tsunade looked around the room in satisfaction. They'd swept, dusted, and scrubbed. At least now it was livable. She braced her hands against her sore lower back and grimaced. _Ugh_. And she couldn't remember the last time she'd done this much menial labor.

Naruto, too, surveyed the room with the air of someone who had just conquered an enemy. "Hey, it looks pretty good, Tsunade-baachan!"

Tsunade smiled tiredly. "Hai."

"We deserve a reward after all that hard work!" Naruto declared, and walked to a small cabinet mounted into the wall. He opened it, revealing stacks of instant ramen. "It's my special stash," he added proudly. "Do you want miso or salt ramen?"

Tsunade opened her mouth to object to taking his food—but something in his expression stopped her. It reminded her of when Nawaki had saved up his money to take her out to eat on her birthday. At first, she hadn't wanted him to use his hard-earned money on her, but then she saw the pride in his face. And she'd understood. So, she sat in one of the chairs at Naruto's small table. "Miso, please."

"Good choice, Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto carefully warmed up both cups of ramen, then set Tsunade's in front of her with a grin. "Enjoy!"

"Thanks, Naruto." Tsunade returned his smile and peeled back the film to let the steam escape. Naruto was already hungrily slurping his. "I heard you came to visit me at the hospital."

Naruto reddened, but shoved ramen into his mouth before answering. "Oh, yeah. I wanted to make sure you were okay." He gulped his bite. "I waited with Kakashi-sensei, but he didn't talk much. He just stared at you."

It was Tsunade's turn to take a too-large mouthful of ramen. She sputtered and choked, finally forcing it down. Naruto stared at her, unblinking, through the whole ordeal, waiting expectantly. "Well... Kakashi isn't known for talking." _But he excelled at kissing_. She cleared her throat. Time to change the subject. "What do you say I come back to visit sometime? I could teach you some taijutsu moves."

Naruto beamed, lighting up his entire face. "Sure, Tsunade-baachan! Just so long as we don't clean."

Tsunade smirked. "If you don't mess it up, we won't have to."

Naruto scowled, and turned back to his ramen. Tsunade glanced out the window. She'd have to return to the hokage tower soon, if she wanted to make it to her meeting with Danzō. But as she looked back at Naruto happily slurping his ramen, a warm peacefulness stole over her. A feeling she sensed she wouldn't be able to enjoy again for a while.

Perhaps she could stay a little longer.

* * *

Tsunade settled back on the couch in the private conference room and draped one leg over the other. She eyed the glaringly-empty table in front of her and sighed. If only sake was allowed in these meetings. It would make the tedious, headache-inducing hours much more bearable. But if she so much as mentioned sake in the presence of the elders during a council session, they would all likely die of heart attacks.

Still, she mused, that _would_ solve a lot of problems. Tsunade shook herself in silent reprimand. That was a horrible thought. Besides, the elders wouldn't be here for this meeting. She'd only requested Danzō Shimura, and Kakashi and Shizune would be the only others present. Danzō had agreed to meet with her—not that he could refuse the hokage—but she hadn't specified the reason for the meeting. She hoped springing her accusations on him would give her the upper hand, for she knew all too well how slippery Danzō could be.

The door slid open, and Shizune entered. "Tsunade-sama, Danzō Shimura is here."

Tsunade nodded. If she could get through this without losing her temper, it would be a miracle. "Let him in."

Danzō shuffled in before Shizune could turn, bandaged face expressionless. His long, baggy robe almost gave the impression he was gliding, not walking like a mere mortal. Honestly, she didn't know how he kept from tripping on the ridiculous thing. He sat on the opposite couch and fixed Tsunade with his single eye. "Tsunade-sama."

"Danzō-san," she acknowledged. At least he'd had the courtesy to use her proper title.

A shadow darkened the doorway, and Kakashi slipped in as Shizune closed the door after him. The tension in Tsunade's neck eased. She'd known he would come, but it was still a relief to see him.

Kakashi placed himself behind Danzō, and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. He knew tactics, and his position was no accident. The opposer was between them, and only she could see him. He was giving her the best support he could. His posture was all business, which she appreciated, but the brief glimpse of warmth in his gaze was all for her. And that was all it took to bring back the memories of heated kisses, the closeness of warm bodies, and whispered promises. He loved her. _He loved her for her._ Her pulse throbbed in her throat. And that was a love worth waiting for.

Tsunade firmly directed her gaze back to Danzō. _For heaven's sake._ She had to focus, or this meeting would not go her way. Still, she indulged in the warmth spreading through her body for a moment. After twenty-seven years, she had almost forgotten that feeling. This... must be how it felt to no longer be alone.

Clearly, Danzō hadn't missed Kakashi's presence either. Without turning, he rasped, "It's been a while, Kakashi Hatake."

Kakashi didn't answer, and Tsunade knew he was deferring the floor to her. "Danzō-san." As his attention turned back to her, she continued, "We know you were behind the creation of the chakra seal that could have destroyed Konoha, and ultimately, nearly took my life. What was your purpose?"

She half-expected him to deny it, but Danzō didn't miss a beat. "I had my doubts about you becoming the Godaime Hokage, not the least of which is because you are woman. The council refused to listen to my concerns, so I decided to test you myself." His creased lips lifted in a mocking smile. "And, you passed."

Of all the arrogant men she'd met... Tsunade clenched her teeth. But before she could speak, an icy chill swept over her from the other side of the room. Kakashi was rigid, and his eye, hard and cold as steel, fixed on Danzō.

Unease prickled the back of her neck, and Tsunade focused back on Danzō before he noticed Kakashi. "You put all of Konoha in danger with your test. You had no authorization to do such a thing, and such behavior will not be tolerated while I am hokage. I have every intention of bringing this before the council."

Danzō snorted. "The elders follow my guidance, and are even more inclined to do so after all the problems you have caused." His eyelid drooped. "Do you really want to throw Konoha's leadership into chaos with such an accusation so early into your term as hokage? I'd hate for you look a fool... especially with so little evidence."

Tsunade's red nails dug into her palms so hard they bled. But no matter how much she wished it wasn't true, Danzō was right. She had no evidence. It would be her word against his, and it didn't take a genius to know whose side the elders would take. Stirring up the council even more than she already had would accomplish nothing. She stood, unable to do anything but fume. "I will be keeping my eye on you."

Danzō rose to his feet, eye glittering in triumph. "I expect no less. And, of course, I will be returning the favor, Tsunade-hime."

How she longed to put her fist through that smug face. "You are dismissed."

Danzō glided out without another word, and Shizune shut the door behind him, face pale. "Tsunade-sama, please don't destroy the room."

Tsunade ignored her, instead pacing furiously in front of the couch. "If only I could get that snake off the council. The nerve of him," she added fiercely, spinning to face Kakashi and Shizune, "setting up such a trap for me. How does he even have access to such sealing jutsus?"

Kakashi pushed off the wall stiffly. "Danzō had access to a lot of things; things he gained while the Sandaime was in office."

Tsunade rubbed her chin. That made sense. "Hiruzen-sensei always did have a soft spot for such shinobi. Orochimaru, as well, got away with many things." She set her mouth grimly. "Danzō won't find me so easy to deal with."

"Just tread carefully, Tsunade-sama," Shizune begged. "You heard what Danzō-san said. You're already on thin ice."

Tsunade sighed. "Hai, hai, I know." But how long would she have to deal with Danzō doing as he pleased? For all she knew, he could be plotting another way to get rid of her. She ran a hand down her face. "I just wish I didn't have to worry about him sticking a kunai in my back. Konoha is already unstable as it is."

Kakashi strode across the room, closing the gap between them, and grasped Tsunade's upper arms firmly, his touch heating to her core. Her stomach lurched at the intensity in his gaze, and she couldn't look away. He growled, "I won't let him hurt you again."

Kakashi released her and vanished from the room, leaving only a lingering scent of metal and pine. Tsunade gaped after him, knees weak. What on earth...? Suddenly, she remembered Shizune was still present, and promptly shut her mouth. _Damn_ _that overly-attractive man._ She could only hope Shizune hadn't noticed her reaction. Or the fact that she was so flustered and hot she couldn't think straight.

But Shizune's curious gaze darted between Tsunade and the ajar door. "That was... interesting, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade bit back another curse. There were no good conclusions Shizune could draw from this. "What are you talking about? Personally, I think he's too over-protective. Annoying, isn't it?" Except it had been anything but. Tsunade turned away before Shizune could catch her incriminating expression, unable to hold in a smile. She walked to the door. "Come, Shizune. Let's get back to work."

Thankfully, Shizune followed silently with no further mention of Kakashi. Likely, she didn't want to risk Tsunade's willingness to work.

Tsunade's smile faded. But the coldness in Kakashi's gaze when he'd looked at Danzō concerned her. She'd never seen him with such an expression, and it bothered her more than she cared to admit. That coldness... it wasn't the Kakashi she knew.

Surely, he wouldn't do anything stupid. Tsunade sighed, and sat heavily at her desk. Nevertheless, her uneasiness persisted.

* * *

All would have taken was a moment; a moment and he could have been across the room, his Chidori through Danzō's chest. The desire to do so had almost been more than he could bear. But he hadn't. For Tsunade's sake. He couldn't let her be associated with such an act. Not after everything she'd already gone through.

Was he truly ready to do this? Kakashi ran his thumb over the photo of Tsunade's face, which he'd taken from her file yesterday after the meeting with Danzō. Just the thought of that man filled him with cold rage.

Kakashi gritted his teeth. He'd made her a promise—one he intended to keep—but there were other things at stake now. As soon as Danzō had confessed his failure to kill Tsunade, Kakashi had known he had to make a choice. Though, really, it hadn't been a choice at all. Would he selfishly stay with Tsunade while waiting to fulfill their promise, risking her life and Konoha's safety in the process? Or would he do what needed to be done and accept the consequences, no matter how painful?

As he'd stood in the hokage's conference room, he'd already known his decision. So, he'd taken the picture of Tsunade to underscore his resolve. She might hate him after this, but he had to keep her safe. That was more important than anything else.

Kakashi sighed, and lifted his gaze to the sparse surroundings of his apartment. How often had he sat here, the acute pain of loneliness piercing every fiber of his being? He'd been fine with it, wallowing in the past and his guilt. Thinking he deserved it. Until Tsunade. Until she became his dream. Until her kisses.

 _Her kisses_. Kakashi closed his eyes. Gods, help him. How quickly she had become his everything... and that was why he had to do this. But first, there were a few things he had to take care of. If he wanted to move on with Tsunade someday—and he did, more than anything—he had to let go of the past. More than that, he had to forgive himself. No matter how hard it was. Kakashi opened his eye. Stared at Tsunade's picture; memorizing every detail of her face. His chest tightened painfully, and he tucked the photo into his shirt, next to his heart. He would need it to keep going.

Kakashi straightened his forehead protector and pulled on his flak jacket, then headed out to the hokage building. It was time to let go, and he wanted Tsunade with him. He didn't know if he could do it without her. The doors to the hokage's office were closed and the murmur of voices inside stopped him from knocking. So, Kakashi leaned against the wall in the corridor to wait, hands in his pockets. Almost unconsciously, he began picking out the different voices with his sensitive hearing, thanks to his Inuzuka blood.

"... are you certain we have three years?" Tsunade, of course. He would know her voice anywhere.

"Hai. When I confronted Orochimaru, he told me what he knows of the Akatsuki, and he seemed sincere." Jiraiya, sounding uncharacteristically serious. He had returned from Sound, then. "I would like to take Naruto to train with me. He needs to be ready when the Akatsuki make their move, and it will keep him occupied while Sasuke is gone."

"It's a good plan, Tsunade-sama." Shizune.

"I know that." Tsunade sounded tired. "I just think..."

The voices faded, and Kakashi didn't try to listen any longer. Strangely, he only felt relief. At least Jiraiya had returned safely. Naruto would be taken care of. But Sakura... who would take her on when he was gone? He frowned. He should have thought of that earlier.

The door opened, and Jiraiya strode out. His eyebrows lifted slightly when he caught sight of Kakashi, but he only offered a nod and continued down the hall. Kakashi watched him go apprehensively. Did the white-haired Sannin know about him and Tsunade? Everyone knew that Jiraiya had harbored certain feelings for Tsunade for a very long time. Feelings that Tsunade hadn't returned. Still... Jiraiya spent plenty of time with other women, so how strong could his feelings for Tsunade truly be? Kakashi shrugged it off. What did it matter? Jiraiya could live how he wanted.

"Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi blinked, and turned toward the office. Shizune stood in the doorway, staring at him. How long had she been calling his name? Shizune tilted her head. "Were you wanting to speak to the hokage?"

"Hai." Kakashi dipped his head. "It will only take a moment."

"Come in, then. She has time to see you now."

Kakashi followed Shizune in, and she closed the door behind him. Tsunade stood by her desk, rubbing her temples. Her gaze locked on Kakashi, and though she tried to hide it, he sensed her surprise. "Kakashi? Did you need something?"

All too aware of Shizune watching behind him, Kakashi slid his hands into his pockets. "I have a request, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade's blonde eyebrows lifted. "What is it?"

"I need a half-hour of your time." Kakashi cleared his throat, hating how asking for help made him feel. "I have something I want to show you."

Concern flickered through Tsunade's honey eyes before she turned to Shizune, masking it with an indifferent, "Shizune?"

Shizune nodded eagerly, looking altogether too much like she was watching a favorite drama. "You have time this evening, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade's gaze narrowed dangerously at her assistant. Shizune shrank back, apparently realizing her mistake, but she failed to hide a smug smile when Tsunade turned back to Kakashi. "Where do I meet you, then?"

Kakashi hesitated, but it was too late to back out now. "The... entrance to the cemetery."

Shizune's smirk vanished as she looked between Kakashi and Tsunade, clearly perplexed at the rather unromantic rendezvous. Kakashi might have found the situation amusing if he didn't feel the heaviness of what was to come weighing on his shoulders.

Tsunade studied him, but unlike Shizune, her careful expression revealed nothing. "I will be there at sunset."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi bowed, then took his leave.

* * *

Kakashi leaned against a tree outside of the cemetery, watching the sun set in fiery shades of red-gold, pink, and purple. A breeze whispered through the leaves, surrounding him with a peacefulness he didn't feel.

Still, considering this would likely be his last night in Konoha, the sunset was very majestic, indeed. After he left the hokage building, he'd made it a point to speak to all of his comrades who were in the village. Guy and Asuma, who had just returned from missions, Genma, Anko, Iruka, and Sakura—who had mentioned she wanted to start learning medicine, to his great relief. Only Kurenai was still absent on a mission. And though he had searched high and low, he hadn't found Naruto anywhere. After his meeting with Tsunade, he'd go look—

"Hey, look! It's Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi lifted his head as two figures approached. Naruto, running toward him excitedly, followed by Jiraiya. "Maa, Naruto. It's good to see you."

"Hai!" Naruto bounded to a stop in front of him, grinning hugely. "Guess what, Kakashi-sensei? In a few days, I'm leaving to travel and learn new jutsus with Ero Sennin! We'll be gone for three years, so don't expect the same old Naruto when I get back! I'll probably be even stronger than you."

Kakashi smiled and ruffled Naruto's blond spikes, ignoring the pang in his chest. Would he ever see his student again? "Maa, I'm sure you will be. Jiraiya-san has a lot to teach you, so make sure you listen."

"You bet I will! Believe it!" Naruto rubbed his stomach. "And we're going to eat lots of ramen, right, Ero Sennin?"

Jiraiya chuckled. "Sure. Along with lots of research." His piercing gaze settled on Kakashi. "A nice night, isn't it, Kakashi-san?"

"Hai. That it is." Kakashi wasn't fooled. Jiraiya clearly sensed he had more plans than lounging around the cemetery. Perhaps he had even guessed what Kakashi intended to do. He held Jiraiya's gaze. "The kind of night I like to recall when Konoha is far away. Though I fear this time, the absence will be even longer for me."

Jiraiya's white brows lowered, as if his suspicions had been confirmed. But Naruto squinted in confusion as he tried to follow the conversation. "Are you leaving on a long mission too, Kakashi-sensei?"

"You could say that, Naruto-kun." Kakashi swallowed past the painful clamp around his throat. "It might be a while before I see you again."

Naruto was silent for a moment, apparently digesting that information. Before Kakashi realized what was happening, his hyperactive student had wrapped his arms around Kakashi's waist and squeezed. "Goodbye, Kakashi-sensei!" Kakashi was too stunned to do anything besides give Naruto a couple of pats on the back. Naruto pulled back and flashed a wide grin. "I'll remember everything you taught me!"

Unexpected warmth filled his chest, and Kakashi smiled fondly. Maybe he hadn't completely failed as a teacher. "Become a great shinobi, Naruto. And an even greater hokage."

"Hai, sensei!" Naruto turned and started down the pathway. "C'mon, Ero Sennin! You said we'd get ramen tonight!"

Jiraiya started after Naruto, but Kakashi called after him in a low voice, "Jiraiya-san."

The white-haired Sannin turned, and Kakashi clenched his fingers into fists. "Take—take care of her."

Jiraiya studied him, the shadows making the Sannin's creased face look older than his fifty-one years. He crossed his arms over his thick chest. "She may not forgive you for this."

"I know." The words hurt even more than the painful constricting in Kakashi's chest. "But I have to do it."

Jiraiya sighed wearily. "I understand. Do what you must, Hatake. I won't stop you."

Kakashi gave him a nod, and watched silently as Jiraiya strode after Naruto. The last light of the sun cast long shadows, and only a minute passed before he sensed Tsunade approaching behind him. Suddenly, the ache grew so much he couldn't breathe. Did he truly want to do this? He closed his eye. He could still feel the weight of Tsunade's dying body in his arms, her ragged breathing piercing his soul.

He opened his eye. Yes. He was sure.

"Kakashi?" Tsunade stopped a couple of feet away, her arms folded. This time, she didn't attempt to hide the concern in her voice. "Is something wrong?"

"No." The partial lie left a bitter taste on his tongue. Kakashi faced her, letting his gaze linger over the way the moonlight highlighted her blonde hair, cheekbones, and soft lips. "I'm ready to say goodbye. And I wanted you with me."

Tsunade looked past him to the cemetery, and her expression softened in understanding. "I see." She moved to his side and slid her hand around his arm, giving him a gentle squeeze. "I'm here."

Her closeness warmed him, and Kakashi let out a slow breath. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as he'd thought. They walked into the cemetery, and he led the way to Minato-sensei's grave first. He stopped in front of the smooth headstone, set next to Kushina's, and swallowed. "Goodbye, Minato-sensei. I might have failed you when it mattered most, but I will use everything you taught me. Thank you."

Kakashi blinked hard, but he turned to head to the memorial stone. He'd already spent too much time here, in the past. He didn't want to linger here any longer. Tsunade stayed at his side as they walked through the dark trees. She didn't say anything, and she didn't need to. Her presence was all he needed.

The moon shone down on the solitary memorial stone in the circular clearing. Kakashi brushed his calloused fingertips across Obito Uchiha's engraved name, and bowed his head. "Obito, I am the shinobi I am today because of you. Thank you for showing me what is most important."

Kakashi lifted his head and Tsunade's fingers around his arm tightened. The burden on his shoulders had eased, but the next one would be the hardest. He placed his hand over Tsunade, and the warmth of her touch gave him the courage to keep moving. At last, they stopped in front of Rin's grave.

Kakashi pulled away from Tsunade, and crouched in front of Rin's headstone. Regret and grief threatened to crush him, but he lifted his gaze to her name, though it was hard to see through the blur of unshed tears. "Rin..." he rasped. His throat seized, and he couldn't speak. He had killed her with his own hand. How could he let that go? How could he say goodbye, when he was the reason she was gone?

A hand rested gently on his shoulder, and Kakashi looked up at Tsunade. Her eyes glistened with tears, and shone with compassion, understanding... and love for him. "It's time, Kakashi. You can let it go."

Kakashi held Tsunade's gaze for a long moment as he gathered his strength. He exhaled shakily, and faced Rin's headstone, every muscle tense and knotted. Tsunade was right. It was time. "Rin, I—I will always regret I could not save you. But for your sake, I will move on. I will give Konoha what you could not."

Something released deep in his chest, and this time, Kakashi couldn't stop the tears. He lowered his head, shoulders trembling as tears fell freely to the grass. Tsunade knelt next to him, and her arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. As if her touch had broken the last barrier, Kakashi turned and buried his face in her chest, finally letting himself cry. Tsunade didn't move, just silently held him.

At last, Kakashi took in a shuddering breath. His eyes and throat ached, but he felt…lighter. Lighter than he had in years. He straightened, and his gaze fell to Tsunade's bare skin, glistening wet from his tears. The tears he'd never let anyone see before. He raised his gaze to Tsunade, hoping he could convey what he felt. "Thank you." He took both of her hands in his and helped her to her feet. "You have showed me there is more to life than the past. It is... freeing."

Tsunade smiled, and shifted closer to rest her head against his shoulder. "There is nothing harder than letting go. But there is nothing better than being free, and living the life you were meant to live."

"Hai." Kakashi wrapped his arm around Tsunade's waist, holding her close. If he could stay here forever with Tsunade next to him, he would. But he couldn't. Still, he let the moment linger a few seconds longer before he reluctantly murmured, "We'd better go, or people will begin to wonder where we are."

Tsunade sighed. "Hai, and I still have a mountain of paperwork to finish."

Kakashi swallowed past the ache in his chest. Though she didn't know it, this was his goodbye to her too. And he couldn't let her leave like this. He faced her, and tipped her face up to his, letting his hand rest against her jaw. He stroked her impossibly smooth cheek with his thumb. "Thank you, Tsuna. For coming with me."

A blush darkened Tsunade's cheeks, and a soft smile curved her lips. She covered his hand with hers, sending a tingle down his arm. "Of course." She pulled back, leaving his hand cold and empty. "Goodbye, Kakashi."

Kakashi watched Tsunade leave, her last, lingering glace over her shoulder saying everything she couldn't. He continued staring after her even after she vanished in the darkness, searing the image in his mind. He stood motionless for a long moment, then spun with a wordless cry, punching the nearest tree trunk with all his strength. The bark split under his fist and crumbled to the ground. Panting, he slammed his fist into the bare wood again and again, until his knuckles dripped with blood.

Tsunade was worth it. Even if he never saw her again, she was worth it.

Kakashi closed his eye, summoning the coldness he'd needed as an Anbu, but hadn't used in years. He'd never thought he would need it again, but the familiar chill came back easier than he'd thought.

Kakashi opened his eye and pushed up his forehead protector, revealing his Sharingan. He gazed at the buildings of Konoha, shrouded in darkness. Just like the shadows, he would move unseen to complete his mission.

Danzō Shimura's time was up.


	28. Heartbreak

Tsunade stepped out of the cemetery, and slumped against a tree trunk in the shadows of the forest. She pressed her fingertips to the bridge of her nose, exhaling heavily. Gods, she couldn't do this. Not when everything inside of her wanted to run back to Kakashi, and kiss him until—until...

 _Stop it_. Tsunade forcefully shook herself. They had made a promise, hadn't they? As long as she was hokage, they would wait. She groaned. No matter how long it took. No matter what his touch, his words, did to her. Another presence brushed her chakra, and Tsunade stiffened. She knew who it was even before she stepped out onto the path to face the hooded figure. She clenched her teeth. "What are you doing here?"

Danzō only chuckled. "So. You and Kakashi Hatake, hmm? I thought I sensed something between the two of you earlier, and it seems I was right. Such behavior isn't very becoming to a hokage. But I think you know that."

Fury ballooned in her chest. "I don't answer to you. And I don't appreciate you intruding into my personal life. You have already gone too far, and you will regret it if you push any further."

"Is that a threat I hear, Tsunade-hime?" Danzō smiled thinly. "Let me return the favor. I will hide this little…relationship from the council. For now. And whenever I bring suggestions to your desk, you will see them through. Otherwise, the council will hear every detail of you and Hatake. I can't imagine it will go very well, especially for the hokage caught in such a scandal with one of her jōnin."

Nausea rolled Tsunade's stomach, but she kept her glare pinned on Danzō. "Nothing happened and you know it. You have no proof."

"Proof isn't hard to attain. Reputation... respect... honor. Those are harder to get back after they are lost." Danzō tapped his scarred chin. "What was that young shinobi's name? Ah, yes... Zabuki. Perhaps he gives you an idea of what I am capable of."

Tsunade's skin tingled as the blood drained from her face. "What are you talking about?"

"Mao was acting under my orders." Danzō's dark eye burned. "Zabuki was merely one of my creations—a backup plan, if you will. I knew it was only a matter of time before his hate brought him to Konoha. He was supposed to take you out if the chakra seal didn't, but you exceeded my expectations."

Tsunade had no words. All the torture inflicted on Zabuki—had been by Danzō's hand, to create a weapon of hatred against Konoha? Anger and revulsion burned in the pit of her stomach. The fact that Danzō had the arrogance and gall to tell of his treachery to her face... he knew there was no danger of being caught. A man like Danzō, who had dealt with such secrecy his entire life, knew how to wipe his trail clean. She squeezed her eyes shut. And there was nothing she could do about it.

At least, not yet. But Tsunade silently vowed that one day Danzō would pay for his crimes. She would see to it.

Danzō turned and glided away, calling over his shoulder, "What I do, I do for Konoha. You should think about doing the same."

Tsunade glared after him, wallowing in helpless rage. A quiver ran through her body, and it took all of her willpower not to destroy the trees behind her. She closed her eyes as a familiar chakra presence washed over her. How long had Kakashi been watching from the treetops? Had he heard the entire thing? His warm presence moved closer, until she knew he stood right behind her. But she couldn't face him. Didn't want to.

Instead, Tsunade strode away into Konoha's darkened streets, even as Kakashi called her name softly. She didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't let him comfort her. She didn't have that right. Not yet. And she would do whatever it took to protect him from Danzō. If that meant keeping a distance, then so be it.

* * *

Shinobi are trained to be alert to their surroundings at all times, even in sleep. Which was why Tsunade woke instantly when she sensed a presence in her room. Two specific chakra signatures, to be precise. Tsunade sat up in bed, blinking at the two night-patrol Anbu standing in the middle of her bedroom. Cold settled in her stomach. They wouldn't be here unless something was wrong. Very wrong. "Speak."

The Anbu on the left answered immediately, "We need you to come with us, Hokage-sama. There has been an attack. Kakashi Hatake and Danzō Shimura are both—"

_Attack._

_Kakashi._

A jolt of terror pulled Tsunade out of bed before the Anbu finished speaking, any drowsiness from sleep gone. She snatched her haori and pulled it on over her pajamas. "Take me there. Now."

The Anbu led her along Konoha's dark rooftops. It couldn't be any later than 2 or 3 am. Tsunade kept pace with the Anbu, though everything in her wanted to leave them behind and find Kakashi. _An attack._ The Anbu hadn't said anything about enemy shinobi, and that filled her with dread even more. She bit her lip, attempting to shove away unwanted thoughts, but they flooded her mind anyway, pounding incessantly.

_The deathly chill flowing from Kakashi as he'd stared at Danzō._

" _I won't let him hurt you again."_

" _I'm ready to say goodbye."_

No. _No._ She couldn't let her fears run away with her. All that mattered was making sure Kakashi was safe. Because he had to be. _He had to be._ She wouldn't let herself consider any other option.

But as the Anbu dropped down the backside of a sprawling home in Konoha's richer district, the cold claws gripping Tsunade's chest tightened. She knew their destination. Danzō Shimura's mansion. They reached it moments later, and Tsunade couldn't stop a strangled sound as they landed on the expansive lawn. The entire west wall had been blown out, though by what jutsu, she couldn't tell. Tsunade didn't wait for the Anbu. She reached the gaping hole in seconds, ignoring the other Anbu moving among the wreckage. She stepped through the debris, searching desperately for the only man who mattered.

One of the Anbu appeared at her elbow. "The two bodies are further back. We decided not to disturb them until you arrived."

 _Bodies._ Tsunade sucked in a breath of arid smoke, and shoved past the Anbu. Her heart stopped. Kakashi was sprawled on the ground, his bloody and burned uniform in shreds, and a torn and bleeding stump was all that remained of his left arm. Another motionless body—or what was left of Danzō—was further back, but Tsunade didn't care. She crashed to her knees at Kakashi's side, healing chakra pulsing through her as she checked his vitals. Please... please...

He was alive. Barely.

Tsunade choked back a sob of relief. She moved her glowing hands over him, all her focus on repairing damaged cells and replenishing chakra. She just had to keep him alive until she could get him to the hospital. She wouldn't lose Kakashi. She couldn't. Without looking up, she demanded, "Who else knows about this?"

"No one, Hokage-sama. Just you." The Anbu's voice held a tinge of worry. "Will he survive?"

Tsunade glanced at Kakashi's face, barely covered by a shred of his mask, but panic crept in the edge of her vision, and she had to look away. Instead, she focused on the Anbu's question to keep her calm. She'd almost forgotten Kakashi had once been in Anbu; perhaps this Anbu had been one of his comrades. "I won't let him die." She exhaled. "Find Shizune, and have her prepare a room in the back of the hospital. We need to take him there immediately, as soon as I get him stable enough to move."

"Hai." The Anbu flashed away.

Tsunade tried to focus all of her being on healing Kakashi, but her thoughts continued to assault her. Though she'd only taken in the barest glimpse of her surroundings, she knew what had happened here. It hadn't been an outside attack; it was an assassination. And by the looks of it, a successful one. She shook her head as she moved her hands to Kakashi's torn stump, a tear falling from her chin.

Why, _why_ , had he done this? Didn't he know what the consequences would be if—no, _when_ —he recovered? Tsunade choked back another sob. No, she couldn't think about it. Not now. In her current state, she wouldn't be able to deal with it, and Kakashi needed all of her concentration to survive.

"Hokage-sama," an Anbu said from behind her, "Shizune-san sent me to inform you that the hospital room is ready."

Tsunade analyzed Kakashi's vitals again. He seemed stable, at least enough to get him to the hospital. She glanced back at the Anbu. "Bring a stretcher. We'll transport him there immediately."

Moments later, they had Kakashi's body strapped on the stretched. Seeing him so weak and helpless, Tsunade's heart felt like it would break in two. She straightened, sternly chastising her emotions. Now wasn't the time to give in to weakness. She looked to the two Anbu carrying the stretcher. "Let's go."

"Hokage-sama." The third Anbu's voice stopped her. "I apologize for interrupting, but what about Danzō Shimura's body?"

A harsh, _I don't care_ , nearly passed her lips, but Tsunade clamped her mouth shut instead. Though Danzō had been a disgusting human being, he was still one of Konoha's leaders. And now as one of the dead, he deserved what little respect she could muster. "Take him to be prepared for burial."

The Anbu bowed, and Tsunade turned away. She nodded to the other Anbu, who promptly headed out with the stretcher. Tsunade followed closely, keeping her gaze fixed on Kakashi to make sure he stayed at stable levels.

They reached the hospital in record time, and Shizune was waiting to lead them to the room she had prepared. Her horrified gaze fell on Kakashi. "Oh, Tsunade-sama. Do you know what happened?"

Tsunade strode past her, bare feet slapping the floor. She didn't have time for questions she didn't have answers for. "Enough, Shizune. I have a patient in critical condition. If you haven't set it up already, I need a blood transfusion unit ready. I assume you prepared the back room in the west wing?"

"Hai." Shizune glanced back at Kakashi's body again, brows furrowed. "I'll go get the transfusion unit prepped."

Shizune vanished down another hallway, and Tsunade led the Anbu to the isolated room. She flung the door open, and immediately took in the equipment stocking the room. Shizune had done well. She gestured to the bed, and replaced her haori for a white medical coat. "Move him to the bed. Carefully."

"Hai." The two Anbu lifted Kakashi, and gently set him in the bed, doing the job almost as well as her medical assistants.

Tsunade washed her hands, the familiar rituals of the medical practice soothing her nerves. She moved to Kakashi's side as she gave the Anbu their last instructions. "No one is to enter this room, except for Shizune. I want the details of what happened tonight to be kept hidden for now, even from the elders. Saving Kakashi is the first priority, and I won't be leaving this room until that happens."

The Anbu gave sharp nods, and promptly left the room with the stretcher, closing the door firmly behind them.

Tsunade focused on Kakashi. First things first. She used her chakra scalpel to slice off what remained of his clothes and shredded mask, and discarded them in the corner. She'd already seen his face, so she knew he wouldn't mind—but it didn't stop a pang through her heart. He'd done this for her, she knew that, but it didn't make it any better. She needed him alive, more than anything.

Tsunade put all of her concentration, all of her medical prowess and skill into the man lying in front of her. At some point, Shizune entered with the blood transfusion unit, but Tsunade dismissed her as soon as she'd delivered it. Kakashi might be near death, but she would preserve his privacy at all costs, as long as she was able. She set up the unit herself, and once it was working, she returned to Kakashi's side. The damage was even worse than she'd originally thought, and she realized it would take all of her abilities, likely healing all night if Kakashi was to survive until morning.

Tsunade didn't leave his side. The night seemed to take an eternity, but finally, as the morning light warmed the window, Kakashi was stable enough that she knew he would live.

Tsunade pressed her wrist to her forehead, and leaned heavily against Kakashi's bed. She'd been healing non-stop since they'd arrived at the hospital, but all she could feel was knee-weakening relief. He would need a few more days in bed before he would be able to walk, and his left arm was gone up to just past his elbow, the ramifications of which would be life-changing, especially for a ninja who specialized in ninjutsu... but he was alive. _He was alive._

Kakashi's breathing quickened, and his eyelashes fluttered as his head tilted toward her. "Tsuna..."

"Shhhh." Tsunade leaned over him and placed her palm against his warm forehead, more as reassurance than anything. "You will be fine, but you need to rest. Go back to sleep."

Kakashi didn't seem to hear her. His bloodshot gray eye fixed on her, tears welling, and he wheezed as he attempted to get words out. "I'm—I'm sorry. But I... had to. I couldn't let him hurt—hurt you anymore."

Tsunade bit her lip. But she was a medical-nin first, and Kakashi didn't need to be talking. "Don't worry about that now. Rest."

Kakashi's mouth clamped in a grimace. His rough, bloodied fingers brushed hers, and he weakly curled them around her hand, holding on as if she was a lifeline. "I'm... sorry."

Tsunade placed her free hand against his forehead again, but this time with a burst of chakra that would put him to sleep. Kakashi's hand went limp, but she didn't let go. Instead, her legs gave out, and she sat on his bedside and cried.

* * *

Everything had faded to a dull ache. Kakashi blinked at the shadowed, empty hospital room surrounding him, then let his eye close again to soothing darkness. Clearly, Tsunade had been working her magic. And he knew it could have been a lot worse. Taking on a shinobi such as Danzō, he'd accepted it could very well be a suicide mission. Yet, here he was, alive. Maybe... maybe Tsunade would forgive him, after all.

A familiar presence approached, and Kakashi cracked his eye open as Tsunade walked into the dim hospital room, holding a dark bundle. She set it on a small table, and he realized it was a folded jōnin uniform with a forehead protector on top.

But Tsunade rested her hands on the table and bowed her head, long bangs falling on either side of her face. Exhaustion seemed to seep from every pore of her body. Kakashi dug his fingers into his blanket. Or, at least, his right fingers. For some reason, his left hand refused to work. How long had he been out? Or, more importantly, how long had Tsunade been here, healing him without rest?

Kakashi tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry. So, he settled for a weak rasp, "Tsuna—Tsunade."

Tsunade spun around, eyes wide. "Kakashi!" She strode to his bedside, and Kakashi took in the dark circles under her eyes and lack of makeup. She set her hand gently on his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

Kakashi shook his head slightly, wincing at the throb in his skull. "How long have...?"

"You've been here four days. Now, no more questions until you tell me how you are feeling," Tsunade said sternly, her trained medical-nin gaze roving over him. "Where do you have pain?"

That wasn't the question he'd wanted to ask, but he supposed it answered it well enough. He knew Tsunade well enough to guess that she probably hadn't eaten or slept in the past four days. Kakashi sighed. But he also knew the quickest way to get Tsunade to rest was to answer her questions. "My... head."

Tsunade nodded. Her cool fingers ran through his hair, gently probing his scalp. Kakashi couldn't help a slight groan. The feeling was heavenly. Tsunade's blonde eyebrows furrowed, clearly misinterpreting his groan. "Where? Am I close?"

"No... yes. Just—just keeping doing that." Kakashi briefly closed his eye at the blissful sensation. "It feels good."

Tsunade smiled slightly as she obliged, her soft, yet firm fingers continuing to massage. "Do you feel well enough to dress? I brought your clothes."

If he hadn't been so acutely aware of Tsunade standing next to him, Kakashi would be drooling. He forced an eye open. "Eh?" Why was she asking so many questions? He'd be perfectly content with her fingers running through his hair for the rest of his life. "Why do I need to get dressed?"

Tsunade smirked, and withdrew her hand. "Because you're naked?"

Huh? Kakashi looked down at the sheet covering him up to his waist. Without thinking, he started to move the sheet to check, then Tsunade coughed pointedly. Ears burning, he pulled the sheet back more snugly against his torso. Of course she would know. She was likely the one who had removed his clothes to treat him. "Uh, hai. I would like my clothes."

Tsunade nodded, but she didn't move. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but Tsunade only pressed her lips together. "You... may need help."

Why would he—? Kakashi started to move his numb left arm out from under the sheet to prop himself up... and found himself staring at a bandaged stump. His chest seized, and he could only stare at the half of his upper arm that remained. Only one thought was stark and clear in the muddied mess of his mind. What kind of ninja couldn't do hand seals? Not a real one. Well, besides Guy and his pupil. But he wasn't Guy. He was Kakashi Hatake, the copy ninja; a master of ninjutsu. Who was he without that?

"I'm so sorry, Kakashi." Tsunade's gaze was pained; the regret in her voice even more so. "There was nothing I could do."

Kakashi took in the depths of her honey eyes, sending a jolt through his chest. Why was he feeling sorry for himself? He had been more than willing to give up his life for Tsunade, and all he'd had to give was half of his left arm. He would do it again, in an instant. "It was worth it. I'll manage."

Tsunade opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Instead, she shook her head slightly. Kakashi understood. Neither of them were ready to talk about what had happened, so he offered a quick smile. "Weren't you going to help me get dressed?"

Tsunade accepted the subject change with a lift of her chin. "If you can get out of bed."

Kakashi steeled himself, then eased up into a sitting position. His head swam, but other than that, it wasn't so bad. But what had he expected? He was in the care of the best medical-nin in the world. He slid his legs to the edge of the bed, attempting to pull the sheet with him. But the stupid thing was tucked in at the foot of the bed, and he was apparently too weak to tug it free. Kakashi glanced at Tsunade out of the corner of his eye, but she made no move to help him. Well. He resisted a smirk. She'd already seen him without clothes, hadn't she? To hell with it.

Kakashi shoved the sheet aside, and slid his legs out of bed. His knees buckled, but then Tsunade was holding his right arm, steadying him. She met his gaze with a smirk of her own, but he couldn't help but noticed her cheeks were a bit more pink than usual. "As a medical-nin, I've seen more than a few naked men. You're no different."

Kakashi frowned as Tsunade released him to walk to the table with his clothes. He didn't much like the sound of that. "How many is a few?"

Tsunade shrugged as she unfolded an undershirt and pants. "I've lost count." She walked back to him and held out the pants. His disgruntled expression as he grabbed the pants must have been obvious, because her lips curved with amusement. "Why?"

Kakashi only grunted in answer as he struggled to stick a foot in the pants leg while holding them with one hand. If he kept this up, he was going to end up in a faceplant of the floor. "I thought you were going to help me?"

Tsunade hummed. "Just waiting for you to ask." She snatched the pants from him and pointed at the bed. "Sit."

Kakashi sat, and his frustration melted away as he watched Tsunade crouched in front of him, deftly tugged both pants legs over his feet and up his legs until his feet were exposed. He stood, and she pulled the waistline up to his hips. She stepped back and raised an eyebrow at him. "I think you can button it."

"Ah, hai. Right." Kakashi bent his head so she couldn't see his grin. Except buttoning with one hand was a lot harder than he'd thought. "So, do you help all of your patient dress?"

"Of course not." Tsunade huffed, and smacked his hand away from the button before doing it herself. "You're taking too long."

Tsunade picked up his shirt, and Kakashi obediently ducked his head through the neck hole in his undershirt as she held it open. She stepped closer, avoiding his gaze as she tugged the shirt down his chest and torso, leaving trails of heat whenever her fingers brushed his skin. She smoothed invisible wrinkles on his chest, her hand lingering. Her flushed cheeks said everything she wasn't. Kakashi leaned in until his lips were nearly touching her ear, and she shivered as he murmured, "I'm no different, hmm?"

Tsunade lifted her gaze to his, eyes glistening. Her palm still rested against his chest, and his heart raced at the warmth of her touch. But she only whispered, "Why?"

Kakashi stilled. Denial could only go on so long, but... he'd wanted this moment with her to last a little longer. Because once Tsunade left this room, everyone would know he had survived. And survivors had to answer for their crimes. But right now, he didn't care about that. He only cared about the hurt he'd caused the woman standing in front of him. And hoped she would forgive him.

"Because I would do anything for you." Kakashi placed his hand over Tsunade's and laced their fingers, never taking his gaze from hers. "And I am prepared to face the consequences."

Tsunade's expression crumpled. She moved closer, resting her forehead against his chest, and her voice trembled, "I'm not."

Her shoulders shook, and Kakashi felt his heart breaking as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent of jasmine. He couldn't do this. But he had to.

A knock came from the door, and Kakashi barely had time to separate himself from Tsunade before Shizune stuck her head in, brow furrowed with worry. "Tsunade-sama, I'm so sorry, but the council has demanded to see you at once."

The door closed. Tsunade sighed, and walked to the table. When she turned, something was in her hand. She stepped close to Kakashi, jaw set with determination, and placed her cool hand against his cheek, her thumb tracing down his lips and chin. "I will figure something out. I promise."

She pressed a cloth and metal bundle into his hand, then strode out of the room. Kakashi didn't look at it until Tsunade was out of sight, but when he did, an ache grew in his chest. His Konoha forehead protector.

But not even Tsunade could ignore the rules of the village. And he didn't want her to try. The council would want him to answer for his crimes, and with no evidence against Danzō, he had no chance of being pardoned. At best, his punishment would be life-long imprisonment. Something he couldn't allow. Not if he wanted any chance, no matter how small, of keeping his promise to Tsunade.

Kakashi tightened his grip on his forehead protector. There was only one option. He had to leave Konoha as a missing-nin. It would be like admitting to his guilt, but he didn't see another way. Besides, there were other ways to protect Tsunade—and Konoha—than from inside the village.

He placed the forehead protector on his pillow, and stared at it for a long moment. Tsunade would find it, and she would know what it meant. She wouldn't like it, but he hoped she would come to accept it. And maybe, eventually, forgive him. But even if she didn't, he wouldn't change anything.

Kakashi took the sandals and mask Tsunade had left on the table, and pulled them on. Then he strode to the window. It was unlocked, so it wasn't hard to lift open. He slipped out, and vanished into the early morning bustle of Konoha. It wasn't hard to get past the yawning chūnin at that gate, and only once he'd made it into the forest did Kakashi look back. Years might pass before he saw his village again, and he was prepared to accept that. But Tsunade... Kakashi closed his eye at the painful void in his chest. She was strong. She would be fine.

If only he could say the same for himself.


	29. Will of Fire

One day.

One day had passed since Kakashi Hatake had disappeared after killing Danzō Shimura. The council had immediately demanded that Kakashi be labeled a missing-nin, and Tsunade had no choice but to acquiesce. The entire village was in shock; his fellow shinobi betrayed; and already old names had begun to circulate among those who had always had suspicions about the enigmatic copy-ninja.

_Cold-blooded Kakashi._

_Killer Kakashi._

Tsunade clenched her teeth. Every time she heard the names, spoken in fear or mockery, it took all of her self-control not to pound the truth into their thick, idiotic skulls. But they didn't know Kakashi like she did. And, if she were honest, the desire to punch someone came from her need to vent her grief and frustration, not their stupidity.

But she was the hokage. The leader who had to hold it together for everyone else. And so, no one could know how she truly felt.

How her world had come crashing down when she'd found Kakashi's forehead protector on his pillow. How she had cried herself to sleep last night. How, even now, she felt nothing but a hollow emptiness inside. _Why?_ she asked herself every few minutes. She knew why, but she couldn't accept it. Not yet.

Tsunade slid open the left-hand drawer in her desk, and stared at the gleaming forehead protector folded inside. She closed her eyes briefly. She still had all of Konoha to look after and protect, and she had no intention of letting them down... but this was going to hurt for a long time. And right now, she was barely holding on.

"You know... staring at it isn't going to bring him back."

Tsunade scowled down at the pug sitting next to her desk. She knew that, but being told so by a dog wasn't helping her mood. But for Kakashi's sake, she could put up with it. Pakkun had appeared outside of her home that morning, and had simply said that Kakashi had sent him, and that he wasn't leaving. For a moment, overwhelming rage had washed over Tsunade, and she had nearly sent the hapless pug flying across the yard. She didn't _want_ a dog. She wanted Kakashi. But her anger faded the instant it arrived, leaving behind an aching sense of comfort. So, she had agreed to let the pug come to the office with her.

But, clearly, they were going to go through some growing pains. Tsunade tapped her red nails on the armrest. "Why did Kakashi have to send me the most irritating of his ninken?"

Pakkun blinked, though he didn't seem offended. Perhaps Kakashi had warned him about his new master's personality. Tsunade smiled inwardly at the thought, then realized Pakkun was talking. "Because Kakashi trusts me the most. I was the first of his ninken, and we have been together since he was four years old." If possible, his beady eyes seemed to soften. "He must care about you a lot."

Emotion clogged her throat, and Tsunade had to look away, unable to answer. Shizune was watching her, expression filled with sympathy, but she remained silent. Tsunade couldn't have been more grateful. She tried to focus on the papers on the desk, but her vision was too blurred to make out the—

The door burst open, and Naruto charged in, followed closely by one of the chūnin who was supposed to watch the entrance. "How could you let Kakashi-sensei go?!" His blue eyes blazed with all of the anger and grief Tsunade had hidden deep inside. "First Sasuke, now Kakashi-sensei!"

Tsunade stood, though her heart broke for him. How could she explain it, when she didn't even understand it herself? She sighed wearily. "Naruto..."

"No!" Naruto stopped in the middle of the office, feet planted wide apart, and stabbed his blunt index finger at her. "You aren't worthy of the title Hokage! If you're not going to do anything, then I'll bring back Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke myself, and you can't stop me!" He added fiercely, "Kakashi-sensei cared about you, Tsunade-baachan, so how could you let this happen to him?"

"ENOUGH!" At Tsunade's thunderous shout, Naruto shrank back. Shizune's and the chūnin's eyes widened in shock. Without taking her gaze from Naruto, Tsunade pointed at the door. "Both of you, out. I wish to speak to Naruto."

Naruto crossed his arms and scowled as Shizune and the chūnin slipped out, shutting the door firmly behind them. Tsunade stood tall, her spine ramrod straight, but inside she was crumbling. As hard as it would be, Naruto needed to know the truth. And if he still wanted to blame her after that, so be it.

"Let me make one thing clear: you are not going after Kakashi and Sasuke." Naruto opened his mouth, but Tsunade cut him off. "You are right. I never thought myself worthy of being hokage, and I doubt myself every day. But right now, I'm all Konoha has, and I am doing my best." So far, her best hadn't been good enough, but there was no point in saying that. She was barely holding herself together as it was. "I'm not supposed to speak of this to anyone, but I am going to trust you with it."

Tsunade walked around to stand at the side of her desk, resting one hand on the smooth, polished top to keep herself steady. Naruto watched her, blue eyes wide, but still guarded. She exhaled. She could do this. "Kakashi left because he had no choice. We discovered Danzō Shimura was behind the chakra seal because he was against me becoming hokage and wanted the position for himself. Without my knowledge, Kakashi took it upon himself to kill Danzō... to protect me. If he hadn't left, the village council would have sentenced him to be imprisoned for life, if not executed, for such a crime."

Naruto gaped at her. Tsunade swallowed, and lowered her head so Naruto wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill free. "Sometimes, as hokage you have to make decisions you don't want to make and do things you—you don't want to do."

Small, warm arms wrapped around her with surprising strength, and Naruto's voice was unusually quiet as he murmured, "I'm sorry, Tsunade-baachan. I didn't mean it."

If she'd had any less strength of will, Tsunade would have broken down right there. _Oh, Naruto_. She hugged him back, soaking in the comfort of his small, but strong, body. And somehow, in that moment, she finally felt that everything would be all right. She _could_ do this.

"Ah! May I join in?"

Tsunade lifted her head to glare at Jiraiya and his cheesy grin, though it was in jest. "No."

"Pity." Jiraiya's gaze dropped to Naruto, who had pulled away from Tsunade, looking more than a little embarrassed. She smiled. They had their moments, but boys were still boys.

"H-hey! What are you doing here, Ero Sennin?" Naruto awkwardly scrubbed a hand through his yellow spikes.

"To pick you up." Jiraiya nodded at Tsunade, but she didn't miss his quick inspection of her that he attempted to hide. But this time, she couldn't be mad. Jiraiya was infuriating at times, but he did care about her as only an old teammate could. Apparently, whatever he saw satisfied him, because he turned his attention back to Naruto. "Didn't Tsunade tell you?"

Naruto squinted. "Tell me what?"

Tsunade sighed. Idiots. Hadn't they planned this days ago? Whatever else they were, Naruto and Jiraiya were perfectly suited for each other. "Today you are leaving for your apprentice journey with Jiraiya. I'm sure that when you return, you will be ready to bring Sasuke back."

"Right!" Naruto beamed. "And I'll bring back Kakashi-sensei too. I won't let you down, Tsunade-baachan. Believe it!"

"Hai. A man always keeps his word." Tsunade smiled fondly, and with a pang, realized how much she was going to miss Naruto. But she couldn't make herself tell him that the only way Kakashi could come back was if the council decided to pardon him. And that wouldn't be happening any time soon, especially after they had dismissed her from the last meeting when she hadn't been able to listen to them disparage Kakashi any longer. _Someday_ , she promised herself. Someday, he would return. He had to. Because she couldn't live with the thought of never seeing Kakashi again. They had a promise to fulfill.

Jiraiya grunted. "Come, Naruto. We should get going."

"Hai, hai." Naruto started for the door, but waved over his shoulder at Tsunade. "Bye, Tsunade-baachan! I'll be back before you know it!"

Tsunade smiled. "Goodbye, Naruto." Jiraiya started after his student, but she couldn't help calling his name, and Jiraiya turned. She swallowed painfully. "Keep an eye on him."

Jiraiya grinned, the big, goofy grin he'd had since childhood. It never failed to simultaneously annoy and reassure her, which he no doubt knew. "Ah, don't you worry yourself. I'll take care of him."

Tsunade nodded. She knew he would, but that didn't stop the ache in her heart from growing as Naruto and Jiraiya disappeared, the door closing behind them. So... this was what it felt like to be left behind. She sighed, and turned to walk back to her desk—nearly stepping on Pakkun. She glared at the pug, and when he merely stared at her instead of moving, she stepped around him with a huff. "What do you want?"

"Nothing." Pakkun shrugged, and flopped on his side with a grunt. "But now I see why Kakashi cares for you so much."

Tsunade sank into her chair, gripping the armrests. Were all of their conversations going to revolve around Kakashi? But her curiosity got the best of her, and she eyed the pug in her peripheral vision, clearing her throat. "Really."

"You have the Will of Fire," the pug stated simply. "Worthy of the title of Hokage, and worthy of Kakashi's love."

Tsunade suddenly found it hard to speak, and she blinked rapidly. How had a dog made her so emotional? Still, maybe having him around wouldn't be such a pain after all. She managed a grateful smile. "Thank you, Pakkun."

Pakkun only nodded. Then he held up a forepaw, exposing soft pink pads. "You can touch my pads, if you want. I've heard it's soothing."

Tsunade stared blankly at the pug and his pink pads, unsure if she'd heard correctly. "I... um..."

A knock on the door, and Shizune stuck her head inside. "Tsunade-sama, you have an important visitor."

Tsunade immediately turned from Pakkun, unable to hide her relief. _Touch his pads?_ How did one even go about answering that? "Who is it?"

"The Anbu Tenzō."

Tenzō? Any thoughts of Pakkun vanished from her mind, and Tsunade straightened in her chair with a frown. If her most elite Anbu was here, it had to be important. "Send him in."

Tenzō strode in wordlessly, wearing his full Anbu uniform and porcelain cat mask. He stopped in front of her desk, and bowed. "Hokage-sama. Thank you for seeing me without appointment."

Tsunade tipped her head at Shizune, and her assistant slipped out the door, closing it firmly behind her. She directed her gaze back to Tenzō. "Of course. What brings you here?"

Tenzō shifted, then removed his cat mask, revealing his young, broad features. "I came here not as an Anbu, but as a shinobi with a request. You recall that I was once in Danzō's Root along with Kakashi Hatake."

It wasn't a question; just a confirmation. Tsunade nodded. "Hai."

"Now that Danzō is dead, knowledge of his experiments and deeds are leaking out in spite of our attempt to keep them secret." Tenzō's grip on his mask tightened. "As a result, the members of Root, though they are loyal to Konoha, are being ostracized and treated poorly as a result of being affiliated with Danzō."

Tsunade sighed. _Danzō_. How many times had she cursed that name since his death five days ago? Since then, she had discovered that Danzō's treachery ran deeper than even she had known. With the help of Shikaku Nara, Shizune, and her Anbu, they had begun the long, arduous process of going through all of his files—and everything that hadn't been in his files. It sickened her; both the atrocities Danzō had committed, and that her old sensei, Hiruzen, had allowed it to go on for so long. "I agree, it is a problem, but..." But there were so many problems that had arisen as a result of Danzō's death that she didn't even know where to start. "What do you think we should do?"

Tenzō blinked, clearly not expecting the question. But after only a moment of hesitation, he said firmly, "Kakashi Hatake."

Tsunade stiffened, then silently reprimanded herself. How long would it take before the mention of his name no longer brought an aching pain? She closed her eyes briefly to regain her composure. "What about him?"

Without missing a beat, Tenzō continued, "Like I said, I was in Root and an Anbu with him. I know he is a good man. Consider sending the Root members to him, at least until the village forgets or is ready to accept them. Many of them are still young, and they all know Kakashi and look up to him. He will take care of them."

Tsunade rested her chin on her fist and gazed at Tenzō. It was a good idea. A very good idea, actually. But before taking such an action, she should consult the village council—no. She straightened, slamming her palm on her desktop. To hell with the council. If they wanted to punish her for this, they could. "Go, then. I leave it your hands."

The barest hint of a smile creased Tenzō's stoic face. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

The Anbu left without another word, and Tsunade sank back into her chair with a heavy sigh as Shizune reentered the office. Was this how her former sensei had felt as the Sandaime? Overwhelming exhaustion and pressure from all sides? She tipped her head back and announced, "I'm going drinking tonight."

Instead of objecting, Shizune's gaze was sympathetic. "I won't try to stop you this time, Tsunade-sama. But only for today."

A knock came from the office door, and Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the entrance, suppressing another sigh. Did everyone have urgent matters to discuss today? "Who is it now?"

Shizune peered out. A moment passed, and she glanced back over her shoulder. "It's Sakura Haruno, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade stared at Shizune blankly. "Who is that?"

Shizune cleared her throat. "The last member of Kakashi Hatake's team. I believe you met her at the hospital?"

Oh, right. Tsunade pushed away a surge of guilt. The pink-haired girl who had been so concerned about Sasuke Uchiha. And with Naruto, Sasuke, and now Kakashi gone, she should have thought of the girl sooner. "Let her in, then."

Sakura Haruno shuffled inside; one skinny arm wrapped around her stomach. Wide green eyes met Tsunade's, and she stammered, "H-hai, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade couldn't help raising an eyebrow. This girl was training to be a kunoichi? She needed to get herself a heaping dose of self-confidence. She pinned the girl with a steely stare. "Hai. What brings you to my office?"

Sakura's mouth opened and closed. "I—I wanted... that is..." She straightened her shoulders and blurted, "I want you to train me!"

Tsunade frowned. Was she serious? She glanced at Shizune, but her assistant looked as confused as she was. She'd never considered taking another student, but maybe it would be good for her. She studied Sakura Haruno. Assuming there was more to this little genin than met the eye. "Why?"

Sakura stared at her feet, then seemed to remember herself and swung her gaze back up to meet Tsunade's. "Because—because both of my teammates are gone and training to get stronger. I want to get stronger too." She shifted, and her voice faded to a whisper, "I don't want be a burden anymore."

Interesting. Tsunade rested her elbows on her desk and laced her fingers. "And you think I'm the best person to teach you?"

"Hai!" Sakura lifted her chin in determination. "Everyone knows you're the most powerful kunoichi in the world, and I want to be like you."

Tsunade fought a smile. "Is that so? If you want to be like me, you will have to work harder than you have ever worked in your life. And you have to want it with your whole heart. Can you do that?"

Sakura's green eyes widened with hope. "Hai, Tsunade-sama!"

Tsunade eyed her for a long moment, though she'd already come to a decision. If nothing else, she owed it to Kakashi to look out for his last student. Though she'd meant to make Sakura sweat, the pink-haired genin didn't fidget. In fact, she didn't even seem to be breathing as she stared at Tsunade intently, waiting for her answer.

The door flew open and a blonde girl stalked inside, her pale blue eyes fixed on Sakura. "Forehead! What do you think you're doing? You heard I was going to ask Tsunade-sama to train me, didn't you? So, you just thought you'd get here first, didn't you? That's so wrong!"

Tsunade blinked. This girl had nerve, bursting into her office like that. She was Ino Yamanaka, wasn't she? The female member of the new Ino-Shika-Cho team led by Asuma Sarutobi.

Sakura flushed red, her gaze darting between Tsunade and Ino. "No! Well... I—I did hear you say that, but I already had the idea. It's not my fault you're so slow, Ino-pig!"

"Ugh! First Sasuke, now Hokage-sama." Finally, Ino faced Tsunade and seemed to realize what she had done. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Tsunade-sama. I didn't mean to—I mean, I saw Sakura coming here, and I couldn't let her steal my spot." She shot a glare at Sakura. "And I'm not slow! You're a cheater!"

Sakura clenched her fists, looking like she wanted to take a swing at Ino. "I got to Tsunade-sama first, so deal with it!"

"Quiet, both of you." Tsunade stood before the arguing could go any further. The girls froze, staring at her. She fought to keep her face stern, though she found the entire situation amusing. It seemed Sakura _did_ possess a backbone, and Ino had found it. "I don't tolerate pettiness." Though she could be quite petty herself, but that wasn't the point. The girls stammered apologies, but she ignored them. "However, you both seem to push each other, which I think is needed. So... I will train both of you for one month." Ino brightened and Sakura's face crumpled in relief, but Tsunade continued before either could speak, "Then I will decide if either of you have what it takes to be my student."

Sakura clasped her hands. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama!"

"I won't let you down!" Ino added, determination settling over her features.

Tsunade sat back in her chair and crossed one leg over the other as she observed her new apprentices practically bouncing on their toes. Hmm. Perhaps it was necessary to let them know what kind of teacher she was. "Keep in mind, I am not going to go easy on either of you. In fact, you will both likely wish you are dead."

Sakura paled and Ino blinked rapidly. But Ino straightened and bowed her head, and Sakura followed suit a moment later. In unison, they said, "Hai, Sensei."

Tsunade watched the two girls leave the office, and Shizune shut the door behind them. Strangely, she had another urge to smile. At that moment, the next month didn't look bleak. She pushed to her feet and walked to the window overlooking Konoha. The sunset streaked the sky with pink and gold, and set the rooftops aglow. She sighed. Was Kakashi watching this same sunset, and thinking of her as she was thinking of him?

Shizune appeared next to her and made no attempt to hide the concern in her gaze. "What is it, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade crossed her arms as she lowered her gaze to watch the people of Konoha moving peacefully along the streets. The sight warmed her, and this time she gave in to a slight smile. "Well... life goes on, doesn't it?"

Shizune returned the smile, and turned her own gaze to the village. "Hai, it does."

Tsunade stood at the window and watched the sun set over Konoha in silence until the last sliver of light vanished behind the horizon.

* * *

One week.

One week since he'd left Konoha. Kakashi stepped over a fallen tree and scanned the small clearing. This would do. Of all the places he'd camped the past week, he'd rate this one in the top three. Satisfied, he summoned a shadow clone to scout, and sat heavily on the dead tree to rummage through his pack for food.

Unfortunately, all that resulted from his search was a canteen half full of lukewarm water. Kakashi sighed, and absently massaged his aching left arm above the stump. Tomorrow he'd have to find a way to get supplies. He gave up on giving relief to the pain in his arm, and pressed his forefinger and thumb to the bridge of his nose. What was he doing? He'd been wandering aimlessly for the past week. And if he was honest, he knew it was because he hadn't cared where he ended up. What was the point? He'd done what he had to do, and now… he had nothing. No missions to occupy his time. No reason to train. No graveyard to visit.

But hadn't he come to peace with all of that? He'd thought so... until he had realized how alone he was.

Kakashi huffed a laugh. Solitary. That's how most of his fellow shinobi would describe him. How he would have described himself. And it was true. But now... he knew he hadn't been truly alone. He'd had his team and his friends. His memories, no matter how painful. And for too short a time, he'd had Tsunade.

He missed them. He missed _her_.

Kakashi ran a frustrated hand through his hair. What was he _doing_? He still had them, still had her. Though he couldn't see them, they were in his heart. He couldn't forget that. Hadn't he promised himself that he would see Tsunade again? If he wanted to keep that promise, he had to live like it. He couldn't—

Intruders.

Kakashi lifted his head, noting the several shadows across the clearing in the trees. He let his hand dangle between his legs, ready to kawarimi in an instant. He stretched out his senses, but as far as he could tell, there was no one behind him. Which meant... they wanted to be seen. He stood. "Show yourselves."

A moment of hesitation, then sixteen figures gradually moved out into the clearing. Kakashi frowned. Most of them were younger, but a few were around his age. They walked carefully, as if unused to being out in the open. Every face was blank, void of any emotion or thought. An expression he recognized all too well, because he'd had it himself back in his years with Anbu and Root.

"Kakashi Hatake." One of the taller shinobi stepped forward, his blue hair hanging in his face. He held out a scroll. "We were sent to you by the Godaime Hokage. This message is from her."

Tsunade? Kakashi took the scroll a little too quickly. He should check for anything suspicious before opening it, but he caught a hint of jasmine and sake. Tsunade's scent. He unfurled the scroll, unable to stop a tremor from seizing his hand.

_Kakashi,_

_These shinobi are formerly of Danzō's Root. I have sent them to you in hopes that you can help them until the people of Konoha are ready to accept them back. They trust you. And so do I. I leave them in your hands, and I know whatever you decide will be in their best interest. They understand that Danzō's death was what is best for Konoha and bear no anger toward you for it. Stay safe. Konoha awaits your return._

_-Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure_

Kakashi's fingers tightened and the paper crackled. Tsunade's underlying message was a as clear as she could make it. She'd forgiven him. The pressure in his chest released, and he was able to breathe freely for the first time in days. He rolled up the scroll and slipped it into his pouch. He'd read it again later.

But for now... Kakashi faced the former shinobi of Root. "Maa, nice to meet all of you. As you know, I am classified as a missing-nin, but my absolute loyalty lies with Konoha and the Godaime Hokage. If any of you don't feel the same, now is the time to leave."

None of the shinobi moved. Every eye was fixed on him, unblinking. Hmm, he should have guessed that reaction. They had been drilled to follow orders their entire lives, and punished profusely if they didn't. They would have to learn how to live their own lives—ah. Now he understood Tsunade's reason for sending them to him, besides the obvious. She knew he had already experienced what they would face, and she was trusting him to guide them through it.

_I know whatever you decide will be in their best interest._

Kakashi rubbed his masked chin ruefully. He certainly wouldn't consider himself the best option for helping others overcome trauma, but apparently, Tsunade did. He sighed. Very well. He would do his best for her. He studied the shinobi in gathered in front of him. Deadly killers and spies they may be, but at the moment they looked like no more than lost little genin meeting their sensei for the first time...

Kakashi plopped back down on the fallen tree. And in a way, they were. This, at least, was an area in which he had experience. "You are no longer in Root. You're a part of my team now. So, I think we should get to know each other." All he got were blank looks, and he grinned. "I'll go first. I'm Kakashi Hatake. I like reading, and I dislike... hmm... sweet food. My dream for the future would be..." His throat unexpectedly tightened, and he swallowed. For the first time, he was looking forward to the future with all of his being. "Returning to—to Konoha. As for hobbies... I don't have any. Yet." It could be his imagination, but the shinobi seemed to be relaxing. "So. Who wants to go next?"

A long silence followed the question. Then a pale boy with shaggy black hair, who couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen stepped forward. His face was expressionless, but his left hand twitched nervously. "I am Sai. I don't know my real name. I like drawing, and I don't know what I dislike. I don't have a dream for the future... but... but I wish I could see my brother again."

"Good." Kakashi gave the boy a slight nod. As the rest of the shinobi introduced themselves, the sun set over the clearing. Kakashi watched the gold rays sink below the trees and curled his fingers into a fist. Did Tsunade know how much he missed her? That she was always on his mind? He refocused on the former Root shinobi. But even if he couldn't see her, he would keep her and Konoha safe.

Absently, he touched the cloth he'd tied over his Sharingan. Now was his chance to train and grow stronger; to be ready for what was to come. It was time to reawaken the Mangekyō.


	30. Sakurasou

Would this day never end?

Tsunade glared at yet another couple gazing into each other's eyes from one of the windows in her office. It was White Day, when the men returned the affections their ladies had given on Valentine's Day a month prior. All in all, the sickly-sweetness in the air made her want to vomit.

Ino groaned next to her. "Seriously, who came up with this stupid holiday, anyway?"

"Stop complaining, Ino," Sakura huffed on Ino's other side. "It's not like we would have time to do anything, even if we had—"

"Quit acting so self-righteous. If Sasuke was here..." Ino let her voice trail off teasingly.

"Shut up, Ino!" Sakura's embarrassment radiated all the way to Tsunade.

Tsunade sighed. Though her two students had grown beyond even her expectations in the last two-and-a-half years, that was one thing she had been unable to get Sakura to let go of. Her fixation on her former teammate and crush was concerning, not that Tsunade could really judge. After all, she still thought about him every day, and she hadn't seen or even heard from Kakashi since he'd left. Pakkun had assured her Kakashi was still alive, but that hadn't stopped doubts from assailing her. Doubts that increased every day.

A black, hollow feeling grew in her stomach, and Tsunade shook off her thoughts. _No._ She wouldn't think about it.

Shizune cleared her throat behind them as she cradled Tonton. "Come on, it's not that bad. Why don't I make us some tea?"

Tsunade turned from the window and waved her hand dismissively. "No, no. I need something stronger." She glanced at her downcast students and frowned. They _all_ needed something stronger. All right, then. She could almost taste the warmth of peach sake. "Let's go to the bar. Drinks on me!"

Three faces turned to gape at her, aghast. Only Shizune found her voice. "Tsunade-sama! They are both underage!"

Tsunade scowled and flopped in her chair. Bother. How had she forgotten that? Still...

"Tsunade-baachan! Are you ready to—?" Naruto's loud voice entered the room before he did, and he halted, staring at the other occupants of the room. "Oh... hai, Sakura-chan! Hai, Ino-chan! Hai, Shizune!"

"Naruto. What brings you here?" Tsunade smirked as Jiraiya walked in after Naruto, scratching the back of his neck and looking for all the world like he wanted to be anywhere else.

Naruto turned his blue gaze back on Tsunade with a grin, and her smirk shifted into a genuine smile. Naruto had grown into a fine young man in the years he'd been gone, and she had to admit it was good to see him again, as she'd only seen him once since he'd returned four days ago. Naruto jammed his hands into his pockets, reminding her sharply of Kakashi. "I'm here to take you to dinner, remember?"

Oh... yes. Now that she thought about it, Naruto had mentioned something about a surprise the last time she'd seen him. Tsunade winced inwardly. Though she had been busy, that was no excuse for forgetting.

Naruto glanced at the girls and Shizune again, and straightened. "I mean, all of you!" He beamed proudly. "I'm taking all of you to dinner."

Jiraiya turned white, though his forced smile remained on his face. Tsunade had to cough into her haori sleeve to disguise her laugh. Clearly, Naruto had convinced Jiraiya to fund this little outing.

Ino and Sakura exchanged glances, then both grinned, bad moods forgotten. "Thanks, Naruto! We'd love to go."

Shizune smiled, and dipped her head. "I would be honored to come, Naruto-kun."

"All right!" Naruto punched the air. "Let's go! I've picked the best place, believe it!"

Tsunade found herself walking next to Jiraiya as the group followed Naruto out of the hokage tower and into Konoha. "So... Naruto's idea?"

"Hai." Jiraiya sighed, then smiled wryly. "He wanted to do something special for you, since he hasn't seen you much since he got back. And... I think he knew you would be missing someone today. He didn't want you to be alone."

Tsunade blinked. She focused on Naruto's spiky blond head, and swallowed hard. When had he become so thoughtful? But she didn't want to think about Kakashi, so she cleared her throat. "Since Naruto is back and Sakura is doing well in her training, I was thinking about reinstating Team 7. I have a jōnin in mind to lead the team, we would just have to find a third member."

Jiraiya nodded slowly. "That would be a good idea. Who is the jōnin?"

"Tenzō. With his ability in wood release and suppressing tailed beasts, I think he would be a good match for Naruto."

Jiraiya agreed. If he said anything else, Tsunade didn't hear him as her thoughts drifted away. How would Kakashi feel about her continuing his team without him? It felt wrong, somehow, but she knew it was best for Naruto and Sakura. She bit her lip. If only she could see him again... just to know he was still alive. To see in his eyes that he still cared about her like she still cared about him. That he remembered their promise.

"Tsunade?"

Tsunade refocused on Jiraiya. Had he been talking to her? "Hmm?"

Jiraiya tipped his head at the restaurant, though his gaze didn't leave her face. "We're here, if you want to go in."

"Oh. Hai." But Tsunade didn't move. She had to know. "Wait, Jiraiya." He stopped and glanced back, so she forced herself to continue. "While you were traveling, did you hear... anything? Is he—is he alive?"

Sympathy smoothed Jiraiya's forehead. He knew she was asking about Kakashi. "No. I'm sorry, Tsunade. I don't know anything."

 _Nothing._ Tsunade could only nod. Would this empty feeling inside ever go away?

"Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto appeared at her side, grinning proudly. "What do you think of this place? Pretty nice, huh?"

Tsunade smiled, and forcefully shoved any thoughts of Kakashi from her mind. She wasn't going to let anything ruin this time with Naruto. "Hai, it's very nice. Thank you, Naruto."

Naruto's chest puffed and he held out his elbow. "I picked it especially for you, Tsunade-baachan. Ready to go?"

Tsunade's smile widened in amusement, though another part of her wanted to dissolve into tears as she took his elbow. She would never know why the shinobi gods had chosen to bless her with this boy. She certainly didn't deserve him. "You know how to make someone feel special, Naruto-kun. Lead the way."

* * *

Konoha.

Kakashi halted on the footpath, gaze locked on the familiar sight of Konoha's gate, and swallowed. It had been two-and-a-half years since he'd been this close to his home village. Two-and-a-half years since he'd been this close to Tsunade. He curled his right hand into a fist. So close, and yet so far. But if he could just get one glimpse... just see her for a moment, then he would be satisfied.

"Kakashi-senpai?" Sai stopped next to him, and gave him a curious glance. "Do you sense something?"

Was it crazy that he thought he could catch Tsunade's scent, even at this distance? Kakashi shook himself, and smiled slightly. "No. I was just... distracted." He focused on his comrade, who had become more of a younger brother in the past two years. Sai was the only one remaining of the Root members who had come to him those two years ago. The rest had eventually returned to Konoha, or decided to set out on their own paths. "Do you think you're ready for this?"

"Hai." Sai's dark eyes creased in a smile, and Kakashi noted the hint of genuineness. The kid was getting better at showing his emotions every day. "But only if you're ready, Senpai. Remember, we do this together."

 _Right._ Kakashi exhaled, and faced Konoha again. Only two days ago, during their kenjutsu training session, Sai had announced that he was ready to visit Konoha and possibly stay as a shinobi if all went well. Except he had insisted that he wouldn't go unless Kakashi came with him. Kakashi had only offered a half-hearted objection before he agreed. Because if he was honest, he wanted to see Konoha, if only for a day. And more than anything, he wanted to see Tsunade, even if it was only a glimpse. "Maa, I need to form a henge first."

Kakashi glanced down at himself, estimating how much he would need to change. His pants and shirt were dark blue, with his right arm sleeveless and a short sleeve covering his left stump. A leather strap crossed his chest, holding his ninjatō sheathed on his back. Since losing his arm, he'd had to hone his skills in other areas, especially kenjutsu. He'd gotten better at one-handed seals, but he was nowhere near where he wanted to be. He shook off his thoughts. There was no need to change his clothes, so he focused his henge on his face and left arm, as well as removing the ninjatō. He changed his hair to black and shortened it, darkened his irises, and broadened his narrow features and jawline.

Sai tilted his head. "You could pass as a Uchiha, Senpai."

Could he? Kakashi realized with a jolt that he'd fashioned his appearance after what he'd imagined Obito would look like if he'd live to adulthood. He cleared his throat. "Maa, well, what matters is no one will recognize me. Let's go."

They got into Konoha without trouble, informing the chūnin at the gate that they were civilian brothers visiting for a few days. Kakashi let Sai do most of the talking as his gaze automatically fixed on the hokage tower. Tsunade likely wouldn't be at the window, but he couldn't help staring anyway, searching for any movement. A painful grip clamped his throat. It had been too long. Far too long.

"Impressive, right? That's the hokage's tower," one of the gate chūnin said, apparently having noticed Kakashi's stare. "If you're lucky, you might even see the hokage herself while you're here. She's known as the strongest and most beautiful kunoichi in the world, you know."

The pride in the chūnin's voice was evident, but Kakashi couldn't bring himself to answer. Oh, he knew. More than the chūnin ever would. And though it had been over two years, he could still taste her kisses.

"Hai, so we heard," Sai said, when it became obvious Kakashi wasn't going to say anything. He grabbed Kakashi's arm and pulled. "Come, Niichan. Let's go see the village."

Kakashi let Sai lead him along, but he kept his eye locked on the hokage tower. The sun was starting to set, its light reflecting on the windows, and he clenched his teeth. He wouldn't be able to see—

Sai froze, jerking Kakashi to a stop along with him. "Who is that?"

Reluctantly, Kakashi lowered his gaze from the hokage tower—and his heart stopped. Tsunade was walking out a restaurant, blonde hair flowing behind her and pink lips curved in a smile. She was beautiful and perfect—exactly the same as two-and-a-half years ago. Somehow, he choked out an answer for Sai, "Ts-Tsunade."

Sai shook his head, gaze still fixed on Tsunade and her group. "I know who the hokage is. Who... who is that girl?"

Kakashi looked again, this time noticing Tsunade's companions. Shizune, Sakura and Naruto—a lump of pride stung his throat. His little genin had grown so much—Jiraiya, who was already walking away, and... Ino Yamanaka. Ah. Now he knew who had caught Sai's attention. "Ino Yamanaka. She's on Team 10." He sent Sai a sideways glance. "Maa, why don't you go over and introduce yourself? See how much of your training you remember." Meanwhile, he would stay a safe distance from—

"Senpai..." Sai swallowed. "They noticed us."

Noticed... Kakashi cursed as he swung his gaze back to the kunoichi. Shizune and Sakura looked slightly uncomfortable, a blush darkening their cheeks. Ino was grinning, and she playfully blew a kiss. Tsunade smirked, but Kakashi's eye unintentionally locked with her honey ones. Her smirk slowly faded, and she blinked a couple of times. _No, no, no._ If she sensed his chakra signature—

Kakashi offered an awkward wave, then grabbed Sai's arm, and dragged him behind the next building. But he couldn't help glancing back just before he rounded the corner. The girls were laughing as they walked away with a bewildered Naruto, Shizune behind them. Tsunade turned as if to follow, but she hesitated, and looked back. The mix of confusion and hope on her face was almost more than he could bear. But she shook her head slightly, then continued after the others.

The pressure in Kakashi's chest eased enough so he could breathe. He slumped against the wall and groaned. He'd thought a glimpse of Tsunade would be enough... but now that he'd seen her... he knew he had to see her again. More than that, he needed to speak to her, needed to hold her in his arms again.

"Kakashi-senpai, are you all right?" Sai asked, dark eyebrows furrowed.

But how to get her a message without... Kakashi smiled as an idea came to him. A genius idea, really. He placed his hand on Sai's shoulder, steering him deeper into Konoha. "Hai, hai, I'm fine. I just remembered something I needed."

One of the pleasant things about Sai was that he never questioned Kakashi's decisions. Whether he agreed or not, he accepted it and moved on. Unlike a certain obnoxious Uzumaki, who had taken it upon himself to question everything. And yet, sometimes Kakashi found himself missing it.

They reached the Yamanaka's flower shop as dusk settled over the village. Sai sent him an undecipherable look, but it was clear he was as close to questioning Kakashi as he'd ever been. "Flowers, Senpai?"

"Hai. This is a good place to practice your social skills. Besides, I need flowers for a—a mission I have here." Kakashi pushed the door open without waiting for Sai's reply. "Come on."

As he'd hoped, Ino Yamanaka had returned to her family's shop after leaving the restaurant, and was at the counter arranging a bouquet. She glanced up; a bland smile plastered on her face. "Welcome to Yama—" her eyes widened, clearly recognizing them. "Oh. Um, hai. What can I do for you?"

Kakashi strolled to the counter, leaving Sai standing rooted in the doorway. "Good evening. I'm looking for a sakurasou. Do you have any?"

"Of course! They're one of our most popular flowers, especially today," Ino chirped. Her gaze darted to Sai, before fixing on Kakashi again. "Are you wanting a bouquet, or individual?"

"Just one, please." Kakashi sensed Sai finally moving up behind him. "What do you mean, especially today?"

Ino laughed as she clipped a sakurasou bloom and proceeded to wrap the stem with some kind of damp cloth. "Because it's White Day! Don't tell me you forgot." She handed him the flower, pale blue irises studying him. "The sakurasou means desire and long-lasting love. But I think you knew that."

Kakashi smiled. "Hai." He paid for the flower, sudden urgency flowing through him. Only one thought occupied his mind. _Tsunade._

"What is... White Day?" Sai asked blankly.

Ino gaped at him. "You don't know? It's a holiday when all the men return the gifts and affections their admirers gave them on Valentine's Day. It's sooo romantic," she sighed. "And one of our best business days."

Sai shifted, but didn't take his gaze from Ino. "Did you get anything?"

"Oh. Uh, not really." Ino reddened. "Anyway, can I help you find something?"

Sai blinked, clearly unprepared for the question. But still, he didn't look at Kakashi for guidance, and Kakashi couldn't help a smirk. As he thought. Sometimes, all it took was a girl. Sai's head swiveled, and he pointed at the closest thing: a vase holding a bouquet of small purple flowers. "What are those?"

Ino barely glanced at them before answering, "Purple lilacs. They represent the beginning of love, or first love. Also very popular."

"I'll take it," Sai said quickly.

Kakashi glanced out the window, and his fingers tightened around the sakurasou stem. It was getting dark and he was running out of time.

Ino accepted Sai's payment and nodded tiredly at the bouquet. "Thanks for your purchase. It's all yours."

Sai removed the bouquet from the vase before Kakashi or Ino could object and spun back to the counter—losing several petals in the process—and stiffly held out the bouquet to Ino, water dripping from the stems onto the floor. "For you."

Ino turned white as a sheet, then flushed red. For a second, Kakashi thought she might hyperventilate, and he took a half-step toward her. But she only choked out, "For—for me?"

Sai blinked. "Hai. I bought them for you." As if recalling his training, he added, "Because you're pretty and I like you."

Kakashi cringed. Never mind. He'd forgotten all of his training.

Ino's mouth opened and closed. She finally took the bouquet, still blushing, and squeaked, "Th-thank you. I love them." She lifted her gaze to Sai's and blurted, "I'm about to close the shop, if you want to walk me home."

Well... perhaps their bluntness fit each other. Kakashi hid a grin as Sai smiled—the first genuine smile Kakashi had seen from the boy—and accepted Ino's invitation. As far as he was concerned, that settled that. Maybe he was better at matchmaking than he'd thought. He stepped past Sai and murmured, "I'll find you later."

Sai gave a slight nod, his eyes still fixed on Ino as if she were the most fascinating person he'd ever seen. Satisfied, Kakashi slipped out the door. He'd have to hurry, but he was fairly certain he still had time. He cut through a shadowed alley, and was only a few steps in when he sensed a threatening chakra. Automatically, he reached for his ninjatō as dark shapes dropped down, surrounding him.

The figures closed in, and in doing so, revealed themselves in the moonlight. Identical orange clones, all scowling and brandishing kunai. Kakashi barely had time to blink before the Naruto in front of him stepped forward, blue gaze hard.

"I found you, pervert. Don't think I didn't see you staring at Tsunade-baachan earlier!" Naruto lifted his kunai, the sharp edge glinting. "What do you think you're doing, sulking through a dark alley toward the hokage tower? You won't touch her, not if I have anything to say about it. Believe it!"

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck. Well. This was a problem. He hadn't planned on revealing himself to anyone but Tsunade. Still... it was just for a night. And it _was_ good to see Naruto. He raised two fingers, dispelling the henge. "Maa, as I recall, you were the one who said Tsunade is the only one who can distract me."

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto broke into a huge grin. Before Kakashi could react, his former student nearly bowled him over with a hug. "Have you come back for good? It's good to see you, believe it!"

Kakashi patted Naruto back with a smile. "Maa, it's good to see you too. You've gotten big, Naruto-kun."

"Hai, hai. And even closer to becoming hokage!" Naruto stepped back, his expression somewhat smug. "So. Have you gone to see Tsunade-baachan yet?"

"Maa, no." Kakashi shifted. He'd been so eager to see her; he hadn't thought about what might happen if he did. He'd assumed she still felt the same, but what if she didn't? Two years, five months, two weeks and three days was a long time. Suddenly, he felt like an uncertain teenager again. "Do you—do you think she would want to see me?"

Naruto's smirk only widened. "I think there's only one way to find out, Kakashi-sensei."

Great. Not the reassuring answer he was hoping for. Kakashi looked up at the hokage tower, and sighed. But who was he fooling? No matter how Tsunade felt, he had to see her. _Needed_ to see her. "Well... looks like I'm going to the hokage tower, then." He glanced back at Naruto. "No one can know I am here. If the council found out, they would take it out on Tsunade. I'll be leaving tonight."

Disappointment shadowed Naruto's face, but he nodded. "I understand, Kakashi-sensei. I'll see you again, believe it!"

Kakashi squeezed Naruto's shoulder, then flashed toward the hokage tower. His erratic pulse thudded in his ears. _Tsunade._ Finally, after two-and-a-half years, Tsunade.

* * *

Tsunade tugged her haori tighter around her to disguise her trembling hands as she walked after Naruto and the girls. Was she going crazy? That man's chakra... it had felt like Kakashi's. Of course, that was impossible. But... she had _felt_ it. She closed her eyes. She needed to stop thinking about it. He couldn't have been Kakashi, no matter how much she had wanted him to be.

Someone pulled on her sleeve, and she opened her eyes to Naruto walking next to her, blond eyebrows furrowed. "Are you all right, Tsunade-baachan? I saw that creep staring at you." He punched his palm. "If you want, I'll take care of him!"

Tsunade couldn't help a smile. "No, no. It's not that. I'm fine." Naruto still looked suspicious, so she hastily changed the subject. "I haven't had a meal that good in a long time. I'm going to sleep well tonight."

Shizune cleared her throat. "Ah, Tsunade-sama, did you forget about the paperwork that needs to be filed tonight?"

Tsunade scowled as they continued down the shadowed street. Paperwork. It never failed to ruin her day. "Shizune, please. Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

Shizune winced. "I'm afraid not, Tsunade-sama. But I can take care of it. You go home and enjoy your evening."

Tsunade massaged her forehead. Was she such a horrible person that she wanted to say yes? She snorted. No need to answer that question. She _was_ a horrible person. But not tonight. Besides, she could get a drink or two after she finished her work. Gods knew she'd needed one all day. "No, Shizune, I'll take care of it. Go ahead and go home, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are—are you certain?"

"Hai." Tsunade waved her assistant off. "Don't worry, I think I can manage to file paperwork by myself."

"Well... all right." Shizune smiled, and wished them all goodnight before heading off in the direction of her apartment. Ino soon followed, saying she had to close the flower shop, and Sakura left with her as her house was in the same direction.

Naruto slid his hands into his pockets with a grin. "Looks like it's just you and me, Tsunade-baachan."

"Hai, so it is." Tsunade returned his smile. It was a pleasant evening, and she couldn't deny spending a few moments with Naruto was nice. At least she wasn't alone while walking among all the couples still strolling around hand in hand. And conversation would help keep her mind off who wasn't here.

Naruto's gaze followed Sakura and Ino, and he sighed. "Do you think I'll ever have someone? Or will I end up like you?"

So much for avoiding that topic. Tsunade rolled her eyes and lifted her hand to smack the back of his head, but Naruto had clearly realized his mistake and hastily backtracked. "No! I—I didn't mean it like that, Tsunade-baachan. I meant—"

"To say that I'm so obviously alone?" Tsunade managed a dry laugh. They passed several of Naruto's graduating class, all of whom waved, but she couldn't help noticing that one of them—Hinata Hyūga—merely stared after Naruto with flushed cheeks. Tsunade smirked. Naruto, of course, couldn't have been more oblivious. "Hai, Naruto. I think you'll find someone who loves you, no matter what."

Naruto nodded slowly. "Like you did?"

"What—you—" Tsunade sputtered, cheeks tingling in embarrassment. This time, she gave him a deserved smack on the back of the head. "Baka! Didn't you just say I'm alone?"

"No..." Naruto rubbed his head, but the mischievous curve to his mouth didn't indicate repentance. "You said that, Baachan. I say you do have someone, he's just not here right now. Like Sakura-chan!"

Tsunade glared at the dark entrance to an alley. She was _not_ like Sakura. Unlike Sasuke, Kakashi had made it very clear how he felt about her. Or, at least, how he'd felt two-and-a-half years ago. She shook off her thoughts. _Enough_. Dwelling on it wasn't going to help anyone, especially not herself. With or without Kakashi, she still had a life to live. No matter how... painful the thought of living it alone.

"I guess I'll be heading home now," Naruto said suddenly. He, too, was staring intently at the alley. Then he blinked, and beamed at her. "I'm glad you had time to go to dinner, Tsunade-baachan."

"Me too, gaki." As she said it, Tsunade realized Naruto was now as tall as she was, even with her heels. How had she not noticed until now? Emotion clogged her throat, though there were so many things she wanted to say. So, she settled for the gesture that said more than any words could. She leaned forward and gently kissed Naruto's forehead. "You're growing into a great man."

Naruto turned several shades of red and a foolish grin spread across his face. "Thanks, Tsunade-baachan! I'll see you later."

Tsunade smiled fondly as he took off into the alley, and she continued on to the hokage tower. The stairwell was dark and silent, and the steps creaked under her feet. The hallway to her office was equally dark. Her sigh echoed in the emptiness. Honestly, couldn't the chūnin have left a lamp on or something? At least the moonlight streaming through the window gave enough visibility to her desk.

A flash of color caught her eye. Tsunade frowned, and made her way to the desk. A single flower with five magenta petals and a white center rested atop a stack of papers. A sakurasou? She picked it up and snorted. This particular flower meant desire and long-lasting love. If this was Jiraiya trying something—

Tsunade froze. There was a chakra signature purposefully left on the flower. A chakra signature that only belonged to one man, and it wasn't Jiraiya. The air left her lungs. He'd left it for her... which meant he—he...

Clutching the flower, Tsunade rushed out of the office. Her heart crashed against her ribcage as she ran up to the top of the tower. If—if she had a good vantage point, then maybe she would see him. She reached the top, and caught herself against the rail, frantically searching the dark streets for a familiar slouched figure with silver—

Tsunade stilled, her grip on the metal rail tightening. He was behind her. _Right_ behind her. The heat from his body sent tingles through her stomach. But, somehow, she couldn't turn around. Couldn't face him. An image of the man across the street from the restaurant flashed through her mind, and she murmured, "It _was_ you."

"Hai."

Kakashi's deep baritone was nearly her undoing. Oh, how she had missed the sound of his voice. All she could managed was a choked, "It's—it's been nearly three years, Kakashi."

"I know." Kakashi's voice was ragged with longing. But Tsunade kept her shoulders rigid as he continued softly, "I felt every moment of it."

" _You_ felt it?" Tsunade couldn't stop the hurt and anger spiking her voice. "For three years, I heard nothing. The only reason I knew you weren't dead was because Pakkun told me so. A _dog_. And why did you send me that stupid dog, anyway?"

"I—"

"Why didn't you send a message? Just one. I couldn't—I didn't know if—"

Kakashi moved up behind her, his warm breath caressing her neck. His gloved hand rested on the rail next to hers. His chest brushed against her back, and Tsunade wanted to melt back into him, but she couldn't—couldn't let go of the rail. Or her hurt. "I'm sorry, Tsuna." His masked lips brushed her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "I didn't want to risk anyone finding out that you were in contact with me. You know what the elders would do to you if they discovered it."

"Baka," she muttered. Of course she knew, but... but... she couldn't think straight with him so close. Tsunade sighed, and lifted her gaze to the stars appearing across the night sky. _Focus._ "Why are you in Konoha?"

Kakashi didn't answer for a long moment, and she could almost feel him withdrawing, though he didn't remove his hand from the rail. "I brought Sai, the last of the Root members who came to me. He wants to become a shinobi of Konoha. He's a good kid, and I think he would make a good fit with one of the teams."

"I see." Tsunade closed her aching eyes. How fortuitous. Now she had a full Team 7. But at the moment, she couldn't make herself care. After nearly three years, Kakashi was here. _Here_. And she couldn't even make herself turn and face him.

Kakashi sighed. This time, he slowly pulled his hand away and moved back, leaving space between them. Too much space. He murmured, almost to himself, "This... isn't how I imagined this would go."

Hot, angry tears sprang into Tsunade's eyes, and she suddenly found herself able to spin around. She glared at Kakashi, ignoring the throb in her heart at the sight of him. His silver hair was shorter, and a strip of dark gray cloth tied around his head covered his Sharingan instead of a forehead protector. His shoulders were slumped and his hand dangled at his side. Tsunade's chest heaved with emotion she was unable to control. "How did you imagine it going, then?"

Kakashi's eye widened, probably at the sight of her tears. His gaze held hers for a moment, then his shoulders straightened, and he strode forward, closing the distance between them. Before she could react, he pulled down his mask in a single motion and crushed his lips on hers with the fervor of a man who couldn't wait any longer. Her hands found his neck, fingers tangling in his soft silver hair, tugging him closer, giving in to the moan in her throat. _Finally_.

But Kakashi pulled back too soon. He rested his forehead against hers, and smiled at her as they both panted. His beautiful smile that was only hers. If possible, her heart beat even faster. He hummed. "Maa, something like... that."

Tsunade managed a brief, tremulous smile in return. She wrapped her arms around his waist, his muscles firm under her touch, as if holding him would keep him here forever. She hated how her voice broke. "Stay. Please."

Kakashi's hand rubbed the small of her back, his expression agonized. "I can't, Tsuna. I have to leave tonight. I'm sorry. I wish..."

"Don't say it." Tsunade lifted her face to his, though she kept her arms around him. This was what they had chosen, and she couldn't let herself regret it. Strength returned to her voice as she continued, "Can you do one thing for me before you leave?"

Kakashi gently kissed the violet diamond on her forehead, his lips warm against her skin. "Anything."

"Kiss me, Kakashi." Tsunade forced the words past the choke in her throat. "Kiss me until I can't breathe."

Kakashi stared at her. The heat in his gaze was almost more than she could bear. He leaned in slowly, pausing when their lips were a hairsbreadth apart, breaths mingling. Then he kissed her, and Tsunade could feel herself drowning in the sensation of his taste, his touch. Nothing existed except for her and Kakashi.

Kakashi deepened the kiss, and the cold metal rail dug into her back, pinning her in place. His hand found her hip, pulling her against him, and Tsunade tightened her arms around him, every inch of his heated skin pressed against every inch of her, sending fire to her core. It was impossible to tell where she ended and he began, but she didn't care.

This was where she wanted to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> White Day, the holiday featured in this chapter, is an actual holiday in Japan. I confess to not knowing much about it, besides what I googled. So if I got any details wrong, I apologize.


	31. Coming Storm

Kakashi shifted his weight impatiently on the tree branch, and glanced at the sun for the fifth time. Jiraiya was late. It had been six months since he'd left Sai in Konoha. And since he'd last seen Tsunade. In those months, he'd begun meeting with Jiraiya whenever the Sannin left on or returned from missions, and they would exchange intel. And—the real reason for his anticipation—Jiraiya would update him on everything in Konoha.

At last, a familiar mane of white hair entered the small clearing below him, and Kakashi leaped down without an invitation. Jiraiya didn't blink, but a hint of amusement creased his mouth. "Ah, such haste. What if I had been an enemy shinobi?"

If it had been four months earlier, Kakashi might have felt a bit of chagrin at the Sannin's reprimand. By now, Jiraiya's teasing was expected. "What news, Jiraiya-san?"

"Business first." Jiraiya's joviality faded and he crossed his arms over his thick chest. "I have discovered the location of the Akatsuki's leader."

Kakashi stared at him. The Akatsuki's leader? After all these years... "I see. What do you intend to do?"

"I am returning to Konoha to inform Tsunade. She will decide what needs to be done, though I suspect I will need to gather more intel before we can make a move." Jiraiya sighed, his gaze distant. "Of all the places..."

Kakashi curled his hand into a fist. They were so close. "Where is he?"

Jiraiya's gaze flew back to him and narrowed. "Tsunade must know first. Don't go getting any ideas." He chuckled. "Anyway, enough of that. Last I heard, Naruto and Sakura were part of an eight man squad searching for Sasuke Uchiha, led by Anko Mitarashi and Tenzō, though he now goes by Yamato. Sai is with them, and it seems they are bonding well. You made a good choice, bringing him back."

"Maa, thanks for the update." If anyone could bring Sasuke back, it was Naruto. Kakashi's eye slid to an especially bright yellow leaf next to Jiraiya's sandals as his ears grew hot. _Every time_. Every time, Jiraiya made him ask specifically, or he wouldn't even mention her name. "And Tsunade?"

He was beginning to hate Jiraiya's big, obnoxious grin. "What, the hime?" Still smirking, Jiraiya adjusted his pack strap, as if trying to draw out his answer as long as possible. "As beautiful and hot-headed as ever, of course. She does a good job keeping Naruto in line. But... she does seem to spending more of her nights drinking." Jiraiya's expression softened. "She misses you, Hatake. I can see it in her face. And she has a withered sakurasou she keeps on her desk. I don't suppose you know anything about that?"

Kakashi smiled, though an ache pulsed with every beat of his heart. "Hai, I do. Thank you, Jiraiya-san."

Jiraiya studied him for a moment, then shrugged his pack higher. "Well, I'd better get going. Tsunade needs my report." His eyes gleamed. "Do you have a message for her? If you make it sappy enough, I might include it in my next _Icha Icha_ manuscript."

There was too much he wanted to say—too much he couldn't say—especially for a message delivered by Jiraiya. Kakashi's mouth curved wryly under his mask. Strange, since he was a man of few words. Which Tsunade knew—of course she knew. He already had the perfect message. One she would remember from the first time he'd given her one. He certainly did, and replayed it in his mind far too often. "Just... give her another sakurasou for me."

"Hardly good _Icha Icha_ material," Jiraiya grumbled. He started to turn away, then hesitated. "Kakashi... stay close by. Konoha may need you sooner rather than later."

"Understood." Kakashi watched Jiraiya vanish in the direction of Konoha and took a deep breath of crisp autumn air. He would be ready.

* * *

_Two weeks later._

Water splashed under Kakashi's boots as he pushed himself faster through the rain of Amegakure, surrounded by his ninken. Following Jiraiya's fading scent through the rain was a challenge, but his ninken were up to the task. They'd tracked more difficult targets many times. He gritted his teeth under his damp mask, remembering Tsunade's message. If only they could find the toad sage in time.

Pakkun had found him with Tsunade's message that morning, as Kakashi had been breaking camp about a day's travel from Konoha.

Kakashi straightened in surprise, dropping his unused shuriken back in his weapon pouch. If Pakkun was here, did that mean Tsunade...? "Maa, it's good to see you, Pakkun. What brings you here?"

Pakkun shook his head as he attempted to catch his breath. "Kakashi, I'm glad I finally found you. I have an urgent message from the hokage. She says you are the only one who can help, and that no one else knows she sent me to you."

Kakashi frowned, and freed the finger-sized scroll from Pakkun's jacket. Tension clamped his chest as he unfurled the message and quickly scanned Tsunade's hasty writing.

_Kakashi, Jiraiya has gone to Amegakure to get more information on the Akatsuki's leader before we make a move. But he refused any help I offered and stubbornly insisted on going alone. However, I fear this mission is too dangerous for a single shinobi, especially since we know so little. I need you to follow Jiraiya to Ame and provide backup should he need it. You're the only one I can ask. Be careful._

_-Tsunade_

Kakashi grimly rolled up the message. Jiraiya was going to Ame by himself? He'd never been to the Village Hidden in the Rain, but he knew enough about it to understand Tsunade's worry. He bit his thumb and placed his palm on the ground to summon the rest of his ninken. As the rest of his pack surrounded him, he shoved the message into his pouch. "We're going to Amegakure."

And now they were here. Kakashi halted and crouched behind a large boulder, studying the city ahead. Jiraiya could be anywhere. If he had his ninken divide to search and then reverse-summon him when they found Jiraiya, he could get to the Sannin much quicker. But he couldn't risk them being seen, either.

Kakashi twisted in the mud to face his ninken. His jutsu was still limited without his left hand, but he'd managed to master a few of his more frequently-used techniques with one-handed signs. Including Hiding in the Mist. With luck, it would conceal his ninken from enemies at least until they were able to find Jiraiya.

Pakkun blinked in the rain. "What's the plan, Kakashi?"

Kakashi formed the signs and held up his two forefingers in the final seal. Thick white mist grew around them, shrouding even Amegakure from sight. "Separate and search until you find Jiraiya. When you find him, summon me immediately. I will stay here, as I am more likely to be detected."

His mist technique completed, Kakashi lowered his hand, but remained in a crouch as his ninken dispersed. He focused on gathering chakra and activated the Mangekyō. Against the Akatsuki, he couldn't be too prepared. If Jiraiya was in danger, he would have to be prepared to extract them both immediately.

Twenty minutes later, Kakashi tensed at a tugging on his chakra. One of his ninken had succeeded. He closed his eyes at the brief rush of coldness as he was summoned. The chill faded, and Kakashi opened his eyes to Pakkun crouched in front of him on a flat rock in some sort of lake.

"Kakashi, Jiraiya-san needs you now!" His mission completed, Pakkun vanished in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi jerked his gaze up at the urgency in Pakkun's voice. Jiraiya lay on a similar rock fifty yards away, metal spikes protruding from his back. Above him, six figures in black—and all with the same orange hair, turned as one, as if to attack Jiraiya again. No time to think—Kakashi blurred through the signs—he only needed a moment to get to Jiraiya. "Water release: Water Dragon Bullet!"

Kakashi raced across the water—pouring his remaining chakra into the Mangekyō—as the dragon burst from the lake, distracting the six Akatsuki. He reached Jiraiya's side and wrapped an arm around the nearly-unconscious Sannin. "Kamui!"

They warped into the dimension just as one of the Akatsuki leaped for them, hatred twisting his face.

Kakashi gritted his teeth at the stabbing pain in his eye as he and Jiraiya landed on one of the many black blocks stretching endlessly through the dimension. He'd never transported this much through his Mangekyō before, and he shook his head slowly to clear it. Jiraiya was motionless. His chest cramped. Was the toad sage still alive? He pressed a finger to Jiraiya neck, and was greeted with the slightest pulse. Relief flooded Kakashi, but he also knew he had to get Jiraiya to Tsunade as soon as possible if he was to survive.

Kakashi steadied his breathing, and focused on the remaining shreds of his chakra. He could only hope the strain of transporting again so soon wouldn't be too much. He clamped a hand on Jiraiya's arm, and summoned the pathway out of Kamui. His eye screamed in pain as the wet warmth of blood trickled down his cheek. The dimension warped around them, and he gasped as the light of reality filled his vision.

Completely drained, Kakashi fell back in the middle of the hokage's office, clutching his bloody eye. Thank the shinobi gods. They'd made it to Konoha.

* * *

"Baka!" Tsunade gently smacked Naruto upside the head. "Stop blaming yourself. You will catch up to him one day."

Naruto scowled, rubbing his head. But then he sighed and offered a tired grin. "Ah, hai, you're right. Thanks for always knocking some sense into me, Baachan. I'll never give up chasing Sasuke, believe it!"

"I believe it." Tsunade smiled and leaned back against the edge of the front of her desk. Still, she ached for him. She didn't doubt his ability or belief in his former friend, but there were things outside of his control. And if Sasuke never returned... she didn't know what that would do to him. She only prayed it wouldn't break his spirit.

"Hey, where's Pakkun?" Naruto turned in a half circle, as if Pakkun might be behind him. "He usually hangs out around here."

Tsunade crossed her arms over her stomach so he couldn't see her trembling hands. "I sent him on an errand a couple of days ago. He hasn't returned yet." Sending Kakashi to assist Jiraiya had seemed like a good idea. But now... Ame—and the Akatsuki—were an unknown danger. What if neither of them returned? Had she sentenced them to their deaths? She inhaled shakily. No. They were both elite shinobi. She had to trust them.

 _But even the best die_ , her mind whispered tauntingly. Like her grandfather, Hashirama. Like Tobirama. And her sensei, Hiruzen Sarutobi.

Tsunade ground her teeth. And that was the worst part of being hokage. Endless paperwork and meetings were nothing, in the end. But sending out her shinobi on life-threatening missions while she stayed behind, sitting in her office... Some days, she felt she could hardly stand it any longer. She managed a rueful smile. And Naruto thought he wanted to be hokage. This would drive him insane.

"Ha, I knew it!" Naruto crowed, jolting her out of her thoughts. "You're sending secret messages to Kakashi-sensei, aren't—"

A rush of cold swept through the office, and the space in front of Tsunade seemed to warp and twist, creating a dark opening. She lunged forward, fist glowing with chakra—and two figures dropped out of the hole. The dimension-warping—at least, that's what she assumed it was—vanished, leaving behind the two figures huddled on the floor.

Tsunade froze, her chakra flickering out, at the same moment Naruto cried, "Ero Sennin! Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi fell back from the motionless Jiraiya, blood trickling from his Sharingan. His gray eye fixed on Tsunade. "Help—help Jiraiya."

 _Kakashi._ Tsunade took a stunned step forward, gaze locked on his—but Naruto's cry broke through her shock—and she finally processed Kakashi's words. She turned to Jiraiya, and horror choked her. Black metal blades protruded from his back, and his left arm was severed. She immediately knelt at his side, healing chakra surging through her hands. His condition was severe. If Kakashi had brought him here a few minutes later... "Naruto! Find Shizune and—"

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune burst into the office, eyes wide. "I sensed—" She took in Jiraiya and Kakashi in a glance, and spun back around. "I'll get Sakura and prepare the hospital!"

Tsunade studied the black metal spikes as she infused Jiraiya with chakra. She'd never seen anything like it, so she didn't dare remove them until they got Jiraiya to hospital and had him stabilized. "Hang on, Jiraiya," she whispered.

Naruto hovered over her shoulder anxiously. "Tsunade-baachan, will he be all right?"

"Hai. I think so. Kakashi brought him just in time." Jiraiya's pulse was steady, so Tsunade took a quick glance back at Kakashi to assess his condition. The relief in his eye as he met her gaze was palpable. She understood. They both knew the feeling of being too late. He still pressed a hand to his bleeding Sharingan, and his chakra levels were dangerously low, but other than that he would be all right.

At that moment, Shizune and Sakura arrived with a team of medical-nin. Tsunade stood and took charge as the medical-nin moved Jiraiya to the stretcher. "Keep him on his stomach. Sakura, stay next to the stretcher and monitor his vitals. Shizune, as soon as these black rods are removed, I am placing you in charge of a team to analyze them. They are made of a foreign substance." She glanced back at Naruto and Kakashi as Jiraiya was carried out. "Naruto, stay with Kakashi and help him to the hospital. Don't let the elders get to him. I'll give you an update when I have one."

Naruto nodded sharply, and crouched at Kakashi's side. Tsunade let her gaze linger on Kakashi's for a moment, then turned and followed her team out. Time to get to work.

Five hours later, Tsunade stepped out of Jiraiya's room and let the door close quietly behind her. She massaged her forehead wearily, and only then noticed Naruto and Kakashi sitting on the bench outside of the room. They both stood, but only Naruto hurried to her. Kakashi didn't move.

"Tsunade-baachan, how is Ero Sennin?" Naruto stopped in front of her, but his blue gaze fastened on the door behind her as his fists clenched and unclenched.

Tsunade stepped to the side, the corner of her lips curving fondly. "You can go see him. Just don't get in the way."

"Hai, hai." Eagerly, Naruto pushed the door open and disappeared into the room.

Tsunade's gaze shifted to Kakashi, but she remained where she was. After all, they were in a hospital. A certain amount of restraint and respect was required, no matter how her heart threatened to burst from her chest at his presence. Instead, she said, "What are you doing out here? You should be recovering."

Kakashi lifted a shoulder, hand remaining in his pocket, though he seemed to shift a little closer. "Maa, I'm fine. Just tired. How is Jiraiya-san, truly?"

Tsunade studied him more closely. Most of the blood had been cleaned from his face, but a few dried flecks remained under his eye. She noted the tension lining his masked face. So, the Sharingan was still causing him pain. That, she could fix. She strode to Kakashi, and he stiffened as she lifted her hand to his eye, then relaxed as she only let her glowing hand hover over it. "Jiraiya lost a lot of blood, and his throat was crushed in the fight. It will heal eventually, but right now he is unable to speak." She added dryly, "He is resilient. I am sure he will be back to peeping in no time." Unfortunately.

Kakashi's eye crinkled. "And writing his page-turning literature."

His intended joke did make her feel better, but Tsunade couldn't help a scowl. "Don't tell me you are still reading that trash."

Kakashi's gray gaze captured hers, and her heart jumped in her throat as he murmured, "What I have is better than anything Jiraiya could dream up." Then he chuckled slightly. "But no. I am only reading his first book. It's quite good. You should think about picking it up. I think you would like it."

Tsunade snorted. His first book that didn't sell well? "I doubt it." Still, she couldn't deny her curiosity was piqued. She cleared her throat. Time to change the subject before they crossed hospital boundaries. "But I still don't know what those black rods are. They seem to have a strange sensitivity to chakra. I only hope they didn't cause him permanent damage. He's going to have a hard enough time of it without his arm. Perhaps you can give him some pointers."

Kakashi nodded slowly, his eye never leaving her. "I can try, if you want me to. Not that I can hold a candle to one of Sannin."

Tsunade managed a slight smile as she removed her hand from his Sharingan. "Don't be ridiculous. We aren't all-powerful. The world is changing and—"

"Tsunade." Kakashi's warm hand caught hers, and any remaining thoughts fled her mind. "I am glad I got to Jiraiya-san in time. I don't want you to lose anyone else precious to you."

"I..." Tsunade swallowed and finally forced words past the tightness in her throat. "I was so afraid I would lose you both." She closed her wet, aching eyes. "I—I couldn't bear it if you died. If it was because of me..."

"Tsuna." Kakashi's tender voice surrounded her like a warm blanket, and he tugged on her hand, bringing her closer. She didn't try to stop him. No one was here to see them, anyway.

The door to Jiraiya's room creaked, and Tsunade pulled back from Kakashi so fast she had to blink a couple of times before she was able to focus on Naruto shuffling out of the room. His blond brows were pinched, and he'd sucked his bottom lip in as he always did when thinking hard. She frowned. "Naruto?"

Naruto lifted his head and stared at them for several seconds. Then he scratched his head. "Ero Sennin wants me to go to Mount Myōboku."

The hidden land of the toads? "Why—" She blinked. Wait. "Jiraiya is unable to speak. How did he tell you this?"

"He wrote it. Kind of." Naruto grinned sheepishly. "It was hard to read, so Sakura-chan helped me translate it."

"I see." If Jiraiya had gone through all that trouble, then he must consider it important. Tsunade exchanged a glance with Kakashi. "Did he say why?"

Naruto's face hardened. "Because Pain is coming for me."

* * *

_One week later._

Tsunade closed Jiraiya's door behind her, and turned to regard her friend as he slept, white hair spread all over the pillow. But she caught a flutter of eyelashes, and barely held back a snort. The idiot was pretending to be asleep. Probably hoping she would let something sentimental slip out.

She walked to the chair next to his bed, and sat down, crossing one leg over the other. "You know," she mused, "I never thought about this before, but touching toads can cause warts. No wonder you have such a big one on your no—"

"Gah, Tsunade," Jiraiya grumbled, cracking his eyes open. His throat still rasped, but it had healed considerably in the week since Naruto had left. "You... never let me get away with anything."

Tsunade smirked. "What are old friends for, you big oaf?" Her voice softened, "But I am glad you are all right."

Jiraiya sighed, and closed his eyes again. "I wouldn't be, if it wasn't for Hatake." He gripped a fistful of blanket. "There were six of them, Tsunade. And they all had the Rinnegan."

"The... Rinnegan?" Impossible. But Jiraiya wouldn't claim such a thing unless it was true. Tsunade laced her fingers tightly, the pressure keeping her focused. "That's—that's why I came to see you. Now that you are able to speak, I need to know everything that happened in Amegakure. I'm debriefing the elders in an hour."

"Ah." Jiraiya grinned, though it seemed a little forced. "I should have known you didn't come in here just to reminisce about old times."

"Jiraiya..."

"No, Hime. I know it's your duty." Jiraiya's grin turned self-satisfied. "The duty I recommended you for, remember? Now I get to lounge in bed while you have to deal with those bitter old fossils. Can't say I envy you."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, though she knew Jiraiya was trying to ease her guilt the only way he knew how. But no matter how much he joked... if it hadn't been for her orders, he wouldn't laying in a hospital bed, his future as a shinobi uncertain. "We aren't finished analyzing the black metal. There's still a chance I can reverse the damage it did to your chakra pathways. I won't stop until you're—"

"Tsunade." Jiraiya's dark eyes fixed on her. "I don't blame you. And no matter how much you want to, even you can't heal everything. I've accepted my fate for what it is. There is more to life than being a shinobi."

Tsunade blinked back tears, but Jiraiya continued before she could say anything. "Didn't you come down here to get my report on Pain?" He chuckled darkly. "That's what he calls himself. Catchy, isn't it?"

Tsunade swallowed her tears and listened as Jiraiya recounted his battle and analysis of Pain's abilities. This was their chance. If they could figure out a way to defeat Pain, then they would defeat the Akatsuki. As the Godaime Hokage, that was her duty. And she wouldn't fail.

An hour later, Tsunade stood at the expansive windows in her office, gazing out at Konoha. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and civilians and shinobi alike walked the streets, happy and peaceful. But no matter how perfect the day, she couldn't shake the sense of foreboding hovering over her like a dark cloud. A storm was coming, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune whispered behind her urgently. "Everyone you have requested is here."

 _Right._ There was only so long she could put off reality. Tsunade sighed, and turned to face the members of the meeting she had called. Homura and Koharu; the elders, Shikaku Nara, Shima the toad, who had brought the corpse of one of Pain's bodies, and Kakashi, who stood against the back wall with Genma Shiranui, the shinobi assigned to watch him. Since he had seen Pain and saved Jiraiya, the elders had allowed him to stay in Konoha for the time being, but only under strict observation. Which meant she'd had no chance to talk to him, except for brief exchanges. But he was here, and that was what mattered.

"I called you all here to discuss what we know of Pain, the Akatsuki's leader." Tsunade walked to stand next to her desk, and focused on the elders. "Thanks to Jiraiya and Shima, we have one of his bodies, which is in autopsy now. I have placed Shizune in charge of it, and she will be going there after this meeting. I was able to speak with Jiraiya earlier today, and he told me all he knows. The information he gave me will be invaluable to defeating Pain."

"Defeating Pain?" Koharu scoffed. "Surely, you're not planning an attack on Amegakure, Hokage-sama. That is too reckless, even for you."

Tsunade gritted her teeth. "No. As Naruto is the Nine-Tails jinchūriki, Pain wants him. For all we know, he could be coming to Konoha now to find Naruto. And I intend to be prepared if that happens."

The elders exchanged glances.

A rumble shook the building, and fear seized Tsunade as she spun toward the window. To the east, a plume of dust and smoke rose above Konoha's rooftops. Too big to be a simple accident. Though she couldn't see the cause, she didn't need to. She knew who it was. Pain was here.

Shikaku took a step forward. "What is tha—"

An Anbu appeared in front of her desk, breathing heavily. "Hokage-sama, we are receiving reports of attacks all over the city. They are wearing Akatsuki robes and asking for Naruto Uzumaki."

No time for procedure. Tsunade met Kakashi's steely gaze across the room. "Go."

Kakashi didn't hesitate. He strode for the open window, Genma behind him. He passed so close to Tsunade that his hand brushed the back of hers, along with his whisper, "Stay safe, Tsuna."

Tsunade exhaled shakily, but she didn't have time to think about Kakashi, or whether she would see him again. "Shizune, to autopsy. We will need any intel you can get us." She started for the door, haori flowing behind her. "Shikaku, with me. I'm going to the rooftop for a better vantage of the attacks."

She shoved past the elders, and Koharu gasped, "Wait! What about us?"

Tsunade stopped and looked back. But her gaze found Shima, not the elders. "Return to Mount Myōboku and inform Naruto. We need him."

"You can't do that!" Homura said indignantly. "Bringing the Nine-Tails back to Konoha is too danger—"

Tsunade shut the door in his face.


	32. Aftermath

Tsunade sat cross-legged atop the hokage tower, surrounded by the chakra released from her seal. She held the Ram seal as she kept her eyes closed, focusing on the hundreds of shinobi and civilians attached to Katsuyu's divisions. Every body had a different need; a different wound to heal. It was a constant flow and release, as Katsuyu left those healed, and found new patients to infuse with Tsunade's chakra.

But was it enough? Tsunade shook away her dark thoughts. She had to trust her shinobi to take care of Pain without her, at least until she was finished releasing the seal. Because she was the only one who could save these lives.

A familiar chakra signature caught her attention, partly because the subject was near dead. His life force faded before she could direct enough—

_Kakashi._

Tsunade's eyes flew open, wide and unseeing. No. Not Kakashi. Not...

She hardly remembered moving. Hardly remembered her fist smashing one of the pillars around the tower. It shattered into a million pieces.

Just like her heart.

* * *

Strange how the fire of the afterlife crackled and warmed the skin, just like real flames. Did that mean life after death would feel the same as life among the living? Was it merely another dimension in reality? Kakashi closed his eyes, blocking out the light. Not that it mattered. His friends were fighting Pain, without him. Had they managed to defeat the Akatsuki leader? His chest ached. Was Tsunade safe? If something had happened to her because he was gone... he would never forgive himself.

Kakashi opened his eyes, and focused on his father's craggy features again. He was thankful for the opportunity to see his father again, but they had made their peace now. He still had a promise to fulfill with the living. With Tsunade. "What if... what if I'm not ready to die?"

Sakumo's face softened in the flickering light. "Why do you think I have waited here all these years, instead of moving on? I wasn't able to leave, or be at peace, until I saw my son again."

Kakashi gave a short nod, fighting his frustration. Then that meant he could do nothing but wait here for Tsunade. And he _would_ wait. As long as it took. He curled his fingers into a tight fist. He didn't regret giving his life for Konoha... but he wasn't ready to die, either. Not when he had so much to live for.

Sakumo straightened, and a slight smile lifted his lips as he gazed at Kakashi. "It seems you are still needed in the land of the living."

A warm tingling filled him, soaking all the way to his bones. Kakashi looked down at the glowing chakra surrounding him, tugging him away. _Tsunade_. It had to be. Elation and relief flooded him like the surge of chakra. Somehow, she had figured out a way. When he returned to her—he didn't care who was present—he was going to kiss her with all that he had. No more waiting. No more—

"Thank you for forgiving me." Sakumo met Kakashi's gaze as his surroundings began to fade, his father's smile tender. "Now I can move on in peace. And finally... see your mother."

Kakashi opened his mouth to answer, but his father was gone. Black filled his vision. Rocks dug into his back, and dust and blood coated his teeth in spite of his mask. He coughed, opening his eyes to blinding sunlight.

_Tsunade._

Kakashi pushed himself up to a sitting position, and took in the rubble around him. But... Tsunade was nowhere in sight. He frowned, then noticed a hand-sized Katsuyu next him, antennae waving gently. Was that how he'd—?

"Kakashi-san!"

Iruka Umino leaped over a mound of rocks, and landed next to Kakashi, his grin white against brown skin. "You were revived too! Thank the shinobi gods. Do you know what's going on? Was Pain defeated?"

Kakashi shook his head slowly, unable to think with the questions hammering his brain. Where was Tsunade? Was she all right?

"I believe I can answer your questions, Iruka-san," Katsuyu said placidly. "Naruto Uzumaki was able to find the hideout of Pain, and convinced him to stop his attack and revive everyone who was killed by Pain's hand. Tsunade-sama has healed the rest remotely, using me to transfer her chakra."

Kakashi relaxed a little. Then Tsunade must be all right. "Where is Naruto now?"

"I believe he is on his way back to Konoha." Katsuyu's head turned to Kakashi, and her already-soft voice lowered, "But you should know that healing the entire village took a great strain on Tsunade-sama's body, and she now lies in a coma. Her chakra levels are almost non-existent, and I fear she may not awaken."

 _No_. Kakashi was on his feet before he realized what he was doing. "Take me to her."

"Of course, Kakashi-san."

Katsuyu started up his leg, so Kakashi carefully picked her up and placed her on his shoulder. He turned to Iruka, but the academy teacher was already nodding, gaze serious. "I'll find Naruto and make sure he gets back."

"Wait." Kakashi let out a slow breath before continuing, "Don't tell Naruto about Tsunade yet. He deserves to enjoy this victory first."

Iruka nodded again, and sprang away. Kakashi faced the remains of Konoha, gut churning. He refused to let himself think about Katsuyu's diagnosis. Tsunade had recovered from greater wounds before. But as he leaped through the rubble, with Katsuyu whispering directions in his ear, he knew that sometimes, the worst wounds weren't physical. The pain he felt at the sight of his home in ruins around him was proof of that. But Tsunade had saved the people. He had to remember that.

Kakashi climbed the rim of the crater and rounded another mound of boulders. He hardly heard Katsuyu's whispered _"Here,"_ as his gaze zeroed in on Tsunade's prone form lying on a blanket. Sakura and Shizune were both kneeling next to her, though Shizune stood at the sight of him. He strode to her, unable to take tear away from Tsunade's face. Her youthful transformation was gone, further proof of her chakra depletion. Her chest rose and fell, but other than that, she was motionless.

"Kakashi-san..." Relief and worry struggled across Shizune's face, but she seemed unable to say anything else.

And that was when Kakashi knew this was worse than anything Tsunade had gone through before. Even after her fight against Zabuki and the chakra seal, Shizune had possessed an air of confidence in her mentor. It had been difficult, but they had known Tsunade would recover. A vice clamped around his lungs. This... was different.

Sakura sniffled, and brushed strands of blonde hair from Tsunade's face. Unlike Shizune, she didn't even attempt to speak.

They needed a direction. Kakashi already felt as though he were sinking in a bottomless black sea, unable to claw to the surface. But he dug his nails into his palm and forced himself to focus for their sakes. "We need find a tent for protection, at least until other shelters are put up."

"Hai, you're right." Shizune nodded a bit too briskly. But as he'd thought, a job seemed to restore her spirits a little. "I'll go find one."

Shizune departed, and Kakashi sank down next to Sakura. He longed to take Tsunade's hand; to touch her and let her know he was here, but he couldn't do that with Sakura's presence. Besides, he sensed Sakura needed him more right now. "Maa, how are you doing, Sakura?"

Sakura bit her lip, short pink hair tossing in the wind. "She held us together, Sensei. What are we going to do now? Konoha is gone, and we—we don't have our hokage." She shuddered. "She taught me so much, but... I—I don't know if I can do it without her."

Kakashi closed his eye. It had been so long ago, but he still remembered losing Minato-sensei like it was yesterday. He'd never felt so lost, not even when his father had died. Because at least then, he'd still had Minato-sensei. Minato had been his last lifeline... until he'd met Tsunade. But if these painful memories could help Sakura, then he wouldn't push them away. "She isn't gone yet, Sakura."

Sakura finally looked up at him, her green eyes red-rimmed and wet. Kakashi gently set his hand on her shoulder, surprised at the strength there. Tsunade's training had helped his former student more than he ever could have. "And even if she—" his voice caught, but he forced himself on— "even if she doesn't wake up, she won't leave you. Her guidance taught you how to be strong kunoichi. So, every time you use those skills, she is with you." He smiled at her. "Tsunade held us together, and now it is our turn to hold Konoha together for her. We won't let her sacrifice be in vain."

Sakura straightened; fists clenched, and looked at Tsunade with determination. "You're right, Kakashi-sensei. Tsunade-sama never gave up on me, so I won't give up either."

Kakashi, too, let his gaze rest on Tsunade. She was still so beautiful, and his heart ached with every throb of his pulse. She had given her all for Konoha, and though he wouldn't want anything less... he wanted her with him. Desperately. He'd been brought back from the dead, and for what? To watch the woman he loved fade away?

Gradually, he realized Sakura had turned to him. He blinked, refocusing on her, but Sakura wore a strange expression as she studied him. Something in her eyes softened, and she murmured, "Sensei..."

Thunderous cheering rose from the crater, and Kakashi gladly turned away from Sakura's probing gaze, though from his position he couldn't see the cause of the commotion. Sakura jumped up and walked to the edge of the crater to peer down. She gasped. "Naruto's back! He's all right!"

Ah, good. Iruka must have found him, then. Kakashi glanced at Sakura. "Go, celebrate with your teammate. I'll stay with Tsunade."

Sakura hesitated, clearly torn. "Are—are you sure, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hai. She'll be safe with me."

Maybe it was something in his voice, but Sakura nodded without further argument and leaped down the side of the crater.

Kakashi listened to the cheering and cries of elation as he shifted closer to Tsunade. Finally, he was able to take her hand in his, curling his warm fingers around her cold, fragile ones. He didn't take his gaze from her face. "Naruto did it, Tsuna. He's a hero now. Your belief in him was true."

Tsunade's breathing continued; slow and even. Kakashi fought to keep his voice from breaking as he forced himself to continue. "But he still needs you. And—and so do I. Please, come back to us. Please."

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Pain's attack.

Kakashi trudged through the rows of tents, the crunch of his sandals on the gravel the only sound in the crisp morning air. The rebuilding was going well, led by Yamato and his wood-release, and the sight of Konoha's villagers and shinobi coming together to restore their home was more than encouraging. The Will of Fire was still strong.

But a cloud hung over the Village Hidden in Leaves. Kakashi could see it in the subdued conversations, furrowed brows and pinched mouths, and the occasional glances toward the center of the makeshift camp, where the hokage's tent was pitched. Because Tsunade remained in her coma, and still gave no sign of awakening.

Kakashi stopped outside of Tsunade's tent, and gazed heavily at the entrance flap. He never failed to visit her every morning and evening... just like when he used to visit the graves of his other precious people. He harshly shoved away the thought. Tsunade was still alive. There was still hope. Kakashi braced his shoulders and stepped inside the tent. Shizune was present, of course, and she nodded to him as she nibbled at her breakfast in the corner. But to his surprise, Naruto sat at Tsunade's side, head bowed.

Naruto looked up at him, blue eyes bleak. "I promised myself I would get strong, so this wouldn't happen to Tsunade-baachan again. But it did." His bottom lip trembled. "I saved Konoha, but I couldn't save her."

"Maa, don't think about it that way, Naruto." Kakashi crouched next to his former student as Naruto stared at him in confusion. He had to word this carefully, but it needed to be said. "Would you have been able to defeat Pain and save Konoha if it wasn't for the sacrifices of Jiraiya and Tsunade, and countless others?"

Naruto lowered his gaze in thought, fists clenched in his lap. "I... no, I—I guess not."

"Mmm." Kakashi gave Naruto's shoulder a brief squeeze. "They did it willingly. Instead of blaming yourself, honor what they did for you. Remember, in this village we are all as one."

"You're right, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto scrubbed at his eyes, and took a deep breath. "But I—I still want Tsunade-baachan to wake up. There's so much I want to tell her, and... I want her to be proud of me."

"She is proud of you, Naruto-kun. Prouder than you can know," Kakashi said firmly. He looked at Tsunade, and his throat tightened. "I want her to wake up too. More than anything."

Shizune sniffled in the corner, and both Kakashi and Naruto turned her way. She blushed. "Sorry. But—but that was so beautiful!" She walked to Tsunade's other side, and swiped her eyes. "Tsunade-sama, if only you could hear how much everyone needs you! I know you would come back to us."

Kakashi stiffened, hope he didn't know he had surging through him. "Shizune-san, you think she can still awaken?"

"Of course." Shizune knelt next to Tsunade and brushed a strand of blonde hair from her cheek. She lifted her grim gaze to Kakashi. "It isn't that she can't. I think... I think she doesn't want to."

Kakashi stood, unable to comprehend Shizune's statement. How could she even say such a thing? "What do you mean? Tsunade would do anything for Konoha. She would never—"

"It's not that," Shizune said quietly. "You were killed, Kakashi. You died, and Tsunade was unable to save you. You, among many others. She doesn't know that Pain gave his life to restore all the ones he took."

Kakashi stared down at Tsunade, numb except for the burning pain in his chest. Of course, Shizune was right. How had he forgotten? Lightning crackled on his fingertips, but he curled his fingers into a fist, extinguishing it. To Tsunade, her greatest fear had come true. She had failed everyone she loved. Somehow, he had to find a way to—

The tent flap rustled behind him, followed by three sets of footsteps. One weary, but sure, the other two shuffling. Kakashi didn't turn from Tsunade, instead fixing his gaze on her still face. But dread pooled in his gut, chewing like acid. There was only one reason why those three would be here.

"Naruto-kun," Shikaku Nara spoke first. "We need to speak to Kakashi Hatake about private matters, if you don't mind stepping out. Shizune-san, you can stay. As the hokage's aid, this concerns you too."

"But..." Naruto glanced at Kakashi, then pressed his lips tightly and nodded. He pushed to his feet, and walked out.

"Kakashi Hatake." Koharu's voice held a twinge of annoyance. "You will face us for this discussion."

Kakashi flexed his hand, almost wishing the lightning would return, then faced Shikaku and the two elders. "I know what you are going to say. But I cannot— _will_ not—leave with Tsunade-sama in such a state. Konoha needs me right now." Tsunade needed him too, but he couldn't say that.

"We know." Homura slid his hands into his wide sleeves, gazing at Kakashi with heavy-lidded eyes. "That's why we have come to ask you to become the Rokudaime Hokage."

Kakashi blinked, barely able to stutter, "The—the Rokudaime?" But he was a missing-nin. Anger surged through him. And Tsunade... they would give up on her so easily?

Shikaku nodded, expression grim. "I know what you are thinking. But Konoha is desperate right now. We need a strong leader, and all of the five great nations know your name. War is coming, Kakashi-san. There will be a kage summit in two weeks, and we want you to represent Konoha there as the Rokudaime."

Kakashi shifted to glance at Tsunade again. Just a glimpse of her felt like a kunai twisting in his heart. "What about Tsunade?"

Shikaku was silent for a long moment. "Shizune-san hasn't given us much hope. And we don't have time to wait. Konoha needs a leader. Now."

"As much as it pains me to say it, Shikaku-san is right." Koharu sighed behind him. "We are begging you to accept, Kakashi of the Sharingan."

Kakashi closed his eye. Becoming hokage was the last thing he wanted. But he also knew that Shikaku and the elders were right. He was the only option Konoha had left. Asuma was dead, Jiraiya was still bedridden and his future as a shinobi uncertain. And Tsunade... he opened his eye and blinked away the tears blurring the sight of her motionless body. Strangely, all he could think about was her face, set with determination as she sat in his apartment so long ago, and her words: _"I want you to become the next hokage."_

How could he refuse, when Tsunade has asked it of him? She had chosen him, and he had to trust in her choice.

Kakashi faced Shikaku and the elders. "I will do it."

The relief emanating from the elders was palpable, but Shikaku only nodded, as if he'd known Kakashi's answer all along. "Good. We leave tonight to meet with the Fire Daimyo and present you as Tsunade-sama's successor."

Kakashi bowed his head, so the elders couldn't see his barely-concealed anger. How cruel fate was. Only when Tsunade was gone did he gain his pardon. In fact, was the reason for it. But then, when had fate ever been on his side? "Hai. I'll be ready."

The elders led the way out, and Kakashi turned away, his gaze only for Tsunade. He barely noticed Shizune slip out after Shikaku, but he was grateful for the moment of privacy as he sank down by her side. "Tsuna..." He rested his palm against her cheek, stroking her soft skin with his thumb. "I've agreed to become the Rokudaime Hokage. But I... I just want you to come back. I—"

The tent flap opened behind him again, and Kakashi pulled his hand away from Tsunade, silently cursing. Why did Shizune have to return so soon? But when he glanced back, Sai and Ino stood in the entrance.

"Kakashi-senpai?" Sai moved closer, but didn't question why Kakashi was alone with the hokage.

Ino trailed behind him. "We came to see Tsunade-sama. How is she?"

Kakashi pushed to his feet, and offered Ino a nod. "Still... sleeping." He couldn't make himself say _coma_. It sounded too permanent. He exhaled slowly to regain control, a control that was rapidly crumbling.

Ino continued past Sai, and stopped next to Kakashi. She wiped a tear from her cheek, and breathed, "Oh, Tsunade-sama..."

Sai's mouth compressed into a hard line. "Does Shizune-san think she will ever awaken?"

Kakashi hesitated. How could he tell them that Shizune thought their mentor and hokage didn't want to wake up? If only she knew... he stilled. "Ino-chan, can you enter the mind of someone who is unconscious?"

Ino's pale blue eyes widened. "H-hai. It's actually easier if the target isn't conscious. Why do you ask?"

Kakashi's pulse pounded in his ears. Was it too much to hope...? "Tsunade doesn't know that Pain revived those who died and that Naruto succeeded in saving Konoha. If we can tell her that—give her hope—I think she might awaken."

"Truly?" Ino looked back at Tsunade. "If it might bring Tsunade-sama back, then I am willing to try it. But..." She winced. "Directly speaking to someone's consciousness is much different than merely taking over their mind. Breaking through the barriers any person has in their mind is very difficult. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. If it was someone she trusts implicitly and has a strong relationship with... they would have a much better chance."

Kakashi nodded slowly. Then, there seemed to be only one option. "Can you take another person with you?"

"Oh... I don't know. It's never been done before. Taking another consciousness with me would require a lot of chakra control, at the least." Ino smiled slightly. "Fortunately, Tsunade-sama made sure I had plenty of training in that area. I would be willing to try, considering the circumstances. Why? Who do you have in mind?"

Kakashi locked eyes with her. "Me."

Ino blinked rapidly. "You? But—no offense, Kakashi-san—you've been gone for a few years. Wouldn't someone like Naruto be—"

"Ino."

Sai set his hand on Ino's arm, and she stopped, clearly bewildered as she looked between the two of them. "Well... all right."

Kakashi sent Sai a grateful glance over Ino's shoulder. He wasn't sure why Sai had taken his side, but it was a relief not having to explain himself to Ino. Knowing her, everyone in the camp would know about his feelings for Tsunade by the end of the day. "Thank you. Sai-kun, can you find Shizune-san and tell her what we intend to do? I want a medical-nin present when Tsunade wakes up." _When_ , he silently repeated. Not if.

Sai inclined his head, and gave Ino's shoulder a gentle squeeze before he left the tent. Ino cleared her throat nervously, and sat at Tsunade's head. She patted the ground next to her. "Come, sit here and put your hand on my arm. Close your eyes, and when you feel my presence, don't resist it."

"Hai." Kakashi sat cross-legged next to her, and offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You can do this, Ino-chan."

Ino exhaled shakily and smiled in return. Then, she closed her eyes and Kakashi placed his hand on her thin forearm, and followed suit. After a moment, a tugging sensation probed his mind. His first reaction was to push it away, but he pushed his instinct down, instead imagining the tug was Ino's hand reaching for him. He grasped her hand, and was pulled after her. Tingles flooded his body and all he could see was black. Or was it because his eyes were still closed?

Kakashi's feet settled on something firm, and a mucky dampness soaked his sandals. The scent of rain clung to his nostrils. He frowned. Where were they? Was it possible for someone's mind to have such sensations?

Ino tugged on his hand. "Kakashi-san, you can open your eyes."

Kakashi did so, and took in their surroundings. They stood in an endless field of mud, and a dark cloudy sky roiled overhead. It seemed... almost familiar. Uneasy, he adjusted his mask. "This is inside Tsunade's mind?"

Ino wrapped her arms around her bare midsection and shivered. "Hai. But this isn't her conscious thoughts. Just... a part of her identity. Often, the visible structure of someone's identity takes shape of an important memory, usually one that plays a big part in defining who she is."

"Amegakure." Now Kakashi knew where he'd recognized the landscape. "From when she fought in the Second War. This is where she defeated countless shinobi and became one of the Sannin."

"That makes sense. She mentioned that this war was the main reason she realized the need for medical-nins." Ino started forward, the mud sucking at her feet, and cringed. "Eww, yuck. I would hate to fight here. Anyway, this is only a part of her. To find her consciousness, we need to find her center."

"Hai." Kakashi trudged after her, straining to find anything besides the desolate field. Everything was dark and dreary, but he understood it. He and Tsunade both had been defined by dark moments in their pasts.

Thunder rumbled, and rain fell from the sky. Kakashi didn't think anything of it, until his nose caught the sharp, metallic scent, and Ino shrieked. He lifted his hand, and stared at the droplets of blood, dark against his skin.

Ino shuddered, hands shielding her face. "Why—why is it raining blood?"

Kakashi handed her his flak jacket to hold over her head, and grimly continued on. "I think... this represents the blood of all her comrades who died. The ones she couldn't save."

"That's horrible." Ino quickened her pace, until she was jogging. "We need to find her center, and get out of this!"

Kakashi nodded. The sooner they found Tsunade, the better. They both broke into a run, squinting through the downpour of blood. At last, Ino pointed ahead triumphantly to a dark, towering shape. "There! The center!"

As they got closer, Kakashi frowned as he took in the familiar curving red walls and height of the hokage tower. But... it wasn't quite the same. The roof was free of rust and the coat of paint fresh, as if it had been built recently. He stopped at the entrance. Was this the hokage tower back from the days of the Shodai Hokage?

"Let's see if we can get in." Ino strode to the door. She tugged fruitlessly on the handle, and after a few moments of grunting and yanking, she spun and kicked it with enough force to make Kakashi wince. But the door didn't even rattle.

They needed a new strategy. Kakashi walked to the door and studied it. "Is this the first barrier?"

"What?" Ino panted, swiping her forehead.

"The first barrier. You said only someone she trusts completely can get in." Kakashi brushed the bronze handle with his fingertips. The door swung open silently, revealing nothing but darkness beyond.

"Hai." Ino bit her lip. "But I doubt that's going to happen for either of us. We'll have to find a way to force ourselves in. I just hope it doesn't cause her any damage."

She didn't see it. Kakashi let out a long breath. Which meant it had only opened for him. Did that mean he would have to navigate the depths of Tsunade's mind alone? "The door opened for me when I touched it."

"What?!" Ino looked from the door to Kakashi. "She must... really trust you, then." Speculation glinted in her blue eyes, but she only gave a brisk nod. "All right. You'll have to go on without me, then. I'll wait here to pull you out when you return."

Kakashi sent her a sideways glance. "Maa, anything I should know before I go in?"

"It's hard to say, since every mind is different. But you will likely see many things in there, from memories to fears. Just remember, you're looking for Tsunade-sama. When you find her, don't let her out of your sight until she's willing to talk to you." Ino pressed a hand to her forehead. "Gods, I can't believe I'm doing this. Chichi would kill me if he knew I was sending someone without training into a foreign consciousness."

Kakashi paused just before he stepped through the doorway. Tsunade wasn't foreign to him, but Ino didn't need to know that. "Thank you, Ino-chan." He smiled. "And don't worry, I'll return soon."

With that, he walked into the darkness of the tower.


	33. To Endure

Kakashi stood in the main entryway of the hokage tower. He'd entered here a thousand times, yet somehow it all seemed foreign. Everything was cleaner; brighter. New. Just like the outside, where Ino waited. Kakashi shook himself. He didn't have time to stand around, no matter how uncertain he felt. He glanced behind him, and sure enough, the thick wooden doors were firmly shut.

 _"Find Tsunade. When you do, don't let her out of your sight."_ He fixed Ino's last words firmly in the forefront of his mind. His mission.

A man's loud, boisterous laughter rang through the room, and Kakashi jumped, nearly sending his fist through the wall. He exhaled, gathering himself, then crept toward an open door on the left, that led to one of many gathering rooms. He stopped just outside the doorway, pressing his body against the wall, and peered around the corner.

A tall man with long dark hair, tanned skin, and a friendly, gentle face stood in the center of the room, his long robes brushing the floor. "You look like a proper hokage! What do you think, Tsuna?"

"It's too big, Ojiichan!" a child's voice whined.

 _Tsuna?_ Kakashi leaned further in, and caught a glimpse of a small girl standing in front of the man, the hokage's hat on her head and dwarfing most of her face. She couldn't have been more than four or five. Wait... then that must mean the man with her was Hashirama Senju, the Shodai Hokage. Was this a memory?

"Ah, but you'll grow into it!" Hashirama grinned as he plucked the hat from Tsunade's head, and placed it back on his own. "Don't you want to grow up to be hokage like your ojiichan?"

"You're trying too hard, Hashi." Another man strolled into the room, his silver hair held back by a happuri. A woman was with him, vibrant red hair twisted into two buns. Tobirama Senju and Mito Senju—formerly Uzumaki. Tobirama's stoic face cracked with a hint of a smile. "We both know who her favorite is."

"Tobi-jijii!" Tsunade squealed. She ran across the room to her great-uncle, and he swung her up in his arms.

"Tsunade! We don't use that word for Tobirama-sama," Mito scolded in exasperation. "A hime must have better language than that."

Kakashi shifted. If this was a memory, then they shouldn't be able to see him. He needed to get closer to Tsunade, though he wasn't sure how she would listen to him as a five-year-old, assuming she could even see him. He stepped into the room and started toward the two former hokage and the first jinchūriki of the nine-tails.

Tsunade giggled, not looking remorseful in the slightest. "But Tobi-jijii said to call him that, 'cause Ojiichan can't be having all the fun playing games with me."

"Hashirama!" Mito turned on her sheepish husband. "You're not still teaching her how to gamble, are you? I swear, between the two of you, she's going to be the worse-behaved child in Konohagakure."

Tsunade's adoring gaze moved from her great-uncle and fixed on Kakashi as he walked toward her. Her happy grin faded. She pushed against Tobirama's chest. "I wanna go down! Please?" Tobirama grunted and obliged, his attention still on his brother as they moved to different topics.

She recognized him? Kakashi quickened his pace, realizing too late what she intended. Tsunade darted between Tobirama and Mito, and ran back to the door they'd come from. _No!_ Kakashi broke into a sprint, passing through Mito as if she were made of mist. But Tsunade had already disappeared through the door.

Kakashi threw it open, revealing a staircase leading upward. To the next level of the tower? He charged up the stairs, and burst through the first door he came upon. He froze. He was in a dark bedroom. Tsunade's bedroom.

Tsunade sat her bed, face buried in her hands as she sobbed. She looked a couple of years older, now wearing a thigh-length teal kimono lined with red, and a mesh shirt underneath. Mito stood next to her, stroking her long blonde hair. Her grandmother's voice was thick with tears as she murmured, "They were taken from us too soon. But we must live up to their legacy, Tsunade. Remember, you are the hime of—"

"I don't care!" Tsunade lifted her head, eyes red and cheeks tearstained. "I don't care! Just—just leave me alone, Obaachan. I don't want to be a hime right now. Not ever! I'm going to become a kunoichi and save people. The strongest kunoichi ever!" She stood, and stormed past her grandmother. "And you can't stop me!"

Tsunade's bloodshot eyes met Kakashi's, and terror flashed through her honey irises. She ran for the door at the back of the room, and Kakashi lunged after her, cursing himself. He'd gotten too caught up in Tsunade's past.

Kakashi made it through the door—and found himself in a downpour. He skidded to a stop in the mud, heart hammering. No, no. This couldn't be right. Was he back outside with Ino? But no... the rain was water, not blood. Then where—?

"NO!"

Tsunade's scream ripped to his soul. Kakashi spun, and found a flash of a white blouse ahead of him. An older Tsunade, probably in her twenties, sprinted through the rain as if her life depended on it. He ran after her, stomach sinking. He had a horrible feeling he knew what this memory was.

Tsunade charged through the wooden door of a temporary hospital, and Kakashi reached it moments later. He halted inside, just behind Tsunade and a younger Jiraiya with his hand on Tsunade's shoulder. Orochimaru stood in front of her, blocking the way to a room further back. He held out a necklace—the same necklace worn by Naruto—the blue crystal gleaming, as if it hadn't just been taken from a body.

Tsunade's shoulders heaved with her ragged gasps, her soaked shirt plastered to her skin. "No... No..."

Kakashi's chest cramped painfully, his heart breaking for her. But he had to stop this; had to bring her back. He moved to the side, eye fixed on her. "Tsunade—"

This time she faced him, eyes burning with an emotion he couldn't describe or fathom. Her beautiful, heartbroken face twisted with rage. "Leave me alone!" Her fist slammed into his chest, and Kakashi crashed back through the door with more force than he'd ever been struck with.

Kakashi hit the ground, the impact rattling every bone in his body. He tumbled across the muddied grass, rolling over and over, until he ran out of momentum. He groaned, every part of his body feeling as though he'd been crushed by a two-ton boulder. But he couldn't—couldn't lay here. He had to find Tsunade.

Muscles screaming in pain, Kakashi pushed up to his knees. He knelt there for a moment, rain streaming down his face. Gingerly, he pressed his hand to his chest, where Tsunade's fist had struck, and swore softly. His flak jacket was still with Ino, so he'd had nothing to absorb the punch. But it didn't matter. He'd take a hundred more blows if it meant getting Tsunade back.

Kakashi found his feet, and stumbled back to the medical center. He gritted his teeth as he forced himself up every step. _Please, don't let her be gone._ He reached the door, which had returned to normal with no sign he'd crashed through it. He stretched out his hand—but the door vanished just before he touched it.

He staggered forward, unable to keep himself upright, and fell into the darkness.

Kakashi slowly came to, blinking through... more rain? He lay flat on his back, the night sky above him as the rain fell. He tried to move, but his arms and legs felt like lead, as if all the strength had drained from his body. He gasped for breath, his lungs rattling and wet. His abdomen ached with a deep, intense pain. And he could feel warm, wet... blood? His stomach was bleeding?

The familiar tingling warmth of healing chakra eased the pain in his stomach, and Kakashi craned his head enough to make out Tsunade kneeling next to him, glowing hands over his torso. He tried to speak, but could barely cough. Had Tsunade come back to heal him? Had she realized...?

"It's going to be all right, Dan," Tsunade sobbed, without taking her gaze from her hands. Blood and mud streaked her face, and only then did he realize she was wearing a jōnin uniform from the Second War. "I'm—I'm healing you. You'll be fine."

"Tsunade..." Kakashi forced through numb lips. His brain moved a sluggish pace. He had to tell her... Everyone was alive. They needed her to wake up. He needed her. But why... why was she calling him Dan? His vision grew fuzzy, and he had to blink to stay focused. He had to tell her...

"No, no, no. No!" Tsunade hunched over him, the glow around her hands intensifying. "Dan, please—No!"

Kakashi gritted his teeth. _No_. He would not pass out. He focused all of his willpower, and slowly, agonizingly, moved his hand to cover Tsunade's. Just like he had the first time they met.

Tsunade's head jerked up, and she stared at him, eyes widening in recognition. "Ka-Kakashi?" She pulled back, horrified gaze dropping to her bloodied hands. "No... no... I can't lose you too. I can't!" She staggered to her feet, holding her hands out in front of her, as if they repulsed her. "NO!"

Suddenly, Kakashi could move. He lunged up, reaching out for Tsunade's hand. If he could just touch her—his fingers wrapped around her cold, bloody ones, and her gaze met his. Then she vanished, and so did the cold, wet forest.

 _No!_ Kakashi wanted to scream his frustration. His vision cleared, and he blinked in the bright sunlight; a sharp contrast to the eternity of darkness and rain he'd just gone through. He swayed, and his hand found a horizontal metal bar to steady himself. A bar that was a part of the railing around the top of the hokage tower. Konoha surrounded him; Konoha as she had been just before Pain destroyed her.

Wait. If he was at the top of the tower, did that mean... Kakashi turned, his gaze immediately fixing on the blonde figure who stood at the front of the tower, her familiar green haori billowing in the wind. He exhaled slowly. He'd made it. She was here. And, somehow, he knew she was waiting for him.

Kakashi walked to her, the breeze tossing his hair. Emotion clogged his throat, but he forced himself to stop behind her and wait, instead of taking her in his arms and never letting go. Tsunade's shoulders were rigid with tension. It wasn't over yet.

"Why are you following me?" Tsunade's voice was low with barely-restrained anger. "Why do I keep seeing you?"

Kakashi didn't take his gaze from her swaying blonde tails. "Tsuna..."

"Don't call me that!" Tsunade spun around, and the fear and anguish ravaging her face pierced his heart like a shard of ice. "You—you aren't him! Why are you making me go through this torment again?" Tears poured down her pale cheeks. "Why do I lose everyone that I love? I thought... I finally thought..."

"It _is_ me." Kakashi took a single, desperate step forward. "Tsuna, I came for you. With the Yamanaka—"

"No!" Tsunade screamed. "You are _DEAD!_ "

The hokage tower crumbled, and Kakashi staggered, trying to keep his footing. But he wasn't buried under piles of rubble. He coughed, squinting through the dust, searching for Tsunade. The wind cleared the clouds of dust, and there she was. Standing only a few feet from him, in the center of the crater that used to be Konoha.

Tsunade's shoulders sagged, and her arms hung limply at her sides. Her anger was gone. All that was left in her eyes was a deep, agonizing grief. "See?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "Konoha is rubble. The people are gone. I couldn't save them. I can't save anyone I care about. I was right... being hokage means sacrificing your life in vain."

Kakashi's eyes stung. Seeing her in this much pain... he wished with all his heart that he could take it from her. "You don't mean that."

Tsunade was silent. Finally, she shook her head slowly. "Please. Just leave."

Kakashi bowed his head. What else could he do? She wouldn't listen to him; she believed he was only a figment of her mind. But he wasn't leaving without her. And if that meant he had to stay in here forever, then he would.

No. Kakashi straightened, though his stomach felt like lead. He was going about it wrong. He would never be able to convince her he was alive, not when she had sensed him die. He had to remind her why she had a reason to live without him. "Konoha isn't all of this." He gestured to the ruins around them. "It's the people. And they are all alive, because you gave all of yourself to save them."

Tsunade's lips pinched, but she only stared at the ground, arms crossed tightly, instead of refuting him.

Hope fueled him on, though he didn't dare step closer. "Naruto defeated Pain. Do you know how? Because your belief in him gave him strength. Because you protected the people, enabling him to go after Pain. Because you are a mother to him, and he wants to live up to you and make you proud."

Tsunade lifted her head, her honey eyes locked on him. She still didn't speak. But the grim hardness of her mouth had softened.

"He needs you. They all need you. I know—I know you are hurting, Tsuna, but I also know you won't abandon the living. You are stronger than that." Kakashi held his hand out, hardly daring to breathe. "Everyone suffers, and you have more than most. But you are a shinobi of Konoha. And we endure, all the way to the end."

Tsunade stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. Though the pain didn't leave her eyes, he could see it: her spirit had returned. She walked to him, and stopped. "Thank—thank you. For reminding me who I am." Her hand slid into his, and a tear slid down her cheek. "I almost believe it's you. I wish—I wish with all my heart it was. But... I am glad I was able to see you one more time."

Kakashi smiled and squeezed her hand tenderly. He longed to tell her that he was alive, that he _was_ here, but he couldn't. He would be there when she awoke. "Are you ready to return?"

Tsunade closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "Hai."

Thunder boomed, and Kakashi blinked as blood rain poured down on him once more. His hand closed around the empty space where Tsunade's hand had been. He turned, facing the intact hokage tower... and Ino, standing at the door as she shielded herself with his flak jacket. Then, as quickly as it had come, the rain faded and stopped.

"Kakashi-san! You're back!" Ino hurried to him, pale blue irises searching his face. "Did you find Tsunade-sama?"

"Hai." Kakashi exhaled slowly. "I found her. Let's go back."

Ino studied him, but she only nodded and held out her hand. "All right. And just so you know, I'm probably going to pass out when we return, so if you could catch me, I would appreciate it."

"Maa, of course." Kakashi took her hand, and looked to the horizon. "Thank you, Ino. You did well."

"Th-thanks." Ino blushed, then gave his hand a sharp tug. "Now, close your eyes, Kakashi-san! I thought you wanted to get back?"

Yes. Yes, he did. Kakashi closed his eyes and let Ino pull him away.

* * *

_Kakashi's eye crinkled at her, with the smile she loved so much. His hand compressed around hers. "Are you ready to return?"_

_If only he was real. But Tsunade swallowed her tears, and answered him. "Hai."_

....

Tsunade opened her eyes. Her eyelids felt heavy... so heavy. Almost unconsciously, she closed her hand around the space where Kakashi's hand had been, longing to remember the feel of his warm touch before it faded away.

But her fingers wrapped around a real hand. A solid, warm hand that gently squeezed hers back.

"Tsuna. You're back."

She... knew that voice. She _knew_ that voice. Tsunade turned her head frantically, desperately, searching. Was she still dreaming? Gripping his hand so he couldn't disappear, she found him. Kneeling at her side, and holding her hand as he stared into her eyes. She breathed out a whisper, "Kakashi...?"

"Hai. It's me." Tears glittered in his gray eye, and one fell free. "I'm here, Tsuna."

_Kakashi._

Tsunade didn't know where she found the strength to get up, but the next moment she was wrapping her arms around his neck, unable to hold in her tears. She didn't know how he was alive. She didn't know how he was here, warm and solid in her arms. But he was. "Kakashi..." She could only repeat his name through her sobs as she buried her face in his neck. "Kakashi... Kakashi..."

Kakashi wrapped his arm around her, and he cradled her against his body, as if afraid she might disappear. His hand stroked her hair, and his tears wet her shoulder. "Tsuna..." His voice broke. "I'm here, Tsuna."

Tsunade took in a shaky breath, and let herself melt into him. Her trembling muscles gave out, so she sank down to rest her head against his chest. His arm tightened around her. "But I—I felt you die."

"Hai." Kakashi's chest rumbled against her cheek. "But Naruto found the real Pain, and convinced him to bring us back. Everyone is here."

 _Naruto_. Tsunade closed her eyes and smiled, soaking in the comfort of being held by Kakashi. For the first time in a long time, she felt... safe. "If anyone can change this broken world, it's Naruto." She managed a slight laugh. "Too bad he's not ready to become hokage yet."

Kakashi's calloused thumb stroked the bare skin of her arm. "He will be thrilled you are awake. He was worried about you, you know."

Tsunade swallowed painfully. She didn't want to remember the nightmarish cycle of darkness, memories, and regrets she had been trapped in. "How long was I... in a coma?"

Kakashi's chest released with a sigh. "Two weeks."

Even with just those two words, the strain in his voice said it had been much longer than that for him. Tsunade lifted her head, and her hand found the curve of his jaw, turning his face to hers. Her heart lurched at the intensity in his gaze. Her fingertips caught the edge of his mask, but she hesitated. She wanted—no, _needed_ —to know if it had been him, not a figment of her consciousness. Had he gone through the horrors of her mind to find her? "Kakashi—"

"Tsunade-baachan!"

Naruto burst into the tent, followed by Shizune and Sai. The next moment, Naruto's arms had wrapped around both her and Kakashi, and she got a mouthful of blond hair as he nearly crushed the life out of her with an enthusiastic hug. "I knew you'd wake up! I never doubted it for a second, believe it!" Kakashi made a wheezing sound, and only then did Naruto pull back, still grinning widely, though his eyebrows twisted in concern. "Ah, s-sorry. I got a little carried away. But you're awake, Baachan!"

"Hai." Tsunade smiled, heart warm. In spite of his words, she knew his overly-affectionate gesture showed how worried he's been. "I'm afraid you won't be becoming hokage quite yet." She reached out and ruffled his blond spikes. "But I heard you saved all of us from Pain. I'm proud of you, Naruto."

Naruto's grin lit up his entire face, but his voice took on a more serious note as he said firmly, "I couldn't have done it without all of Konoha behind me, believe it! Kakashi-sensei reminded me of that."

Shizune cleared her throat pointedly. Tsunade lifted her gaze to her assistant and friend, and though Shizune's relief was palpable, pink embarrassment tinged her cheeks. Immediately, Tsunade became aware that Kakashi still held her in his lap, cradled against his chest. Something that would never happen between a jōnin and hokage.

Kakashi seemed to realize the same thing, and he quickly shifted forward. "Maa, do you think you can stand, Tsunade-sama?"

"H-hai, I think so." Face burning, Tsunade gathered her trembling legs under her, and was able to stand with the help of Naruto and Kakashi. She couldn't look at Shizune, so her gaze found the corner of the tent... where Sai was supporting an exhausted Ino Yamanaka. Both were struggling to conceal smiles. _Gods_ , she cursed silently. Was everyone in Konoha in this tent?

Shizune rushed forward and embraced her. "I'm so glad you're awake, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade returned her hug, though it did nothing to dispel the tension in her shoulders. Her and Kakashi's feelings for each other were no longer a secret. How long before the elders and council found out? A sick feeling grew in the pit of her empty stomach. And what would they do when they did? "Hai, so am I."

Shizune stepped back, fingers nervously knotting her kimono as she glanced between Tsunade and Kakashi. "Um, Kakashi-san, the elders and Shikaku Nara are waiting for you at the south edge of camp."

Tsunade frowned. The elders? "What are you talking about?"

Kakashi stepped up to her side. "Maa, they want to introduce me to the Fire Daimyo as the Rokudaime Hokage." He held out his elbow, clearly enjoying himself. "Let's go surprise them, shall we?"

The... _Rokudaime?_ Tsunade closed her gaping mouth. But if they had chosen Kakashi, did that mean he was... pardoned? She bit back her questions, and instead took Kakashi's elbow, eager to escape the suffocating interior of the tent. "I—I see. Then I expect a full report of the last two weeks on the way."

Kakashi tucked her hand more snugly against his side. His eye crinkled. "As you wish."

Tsunade glanced back as they exited the tent, and almost wished she hadn't. Every eye inside was fixed on them, and even Naruto wore a smug expression. She snapped, "What are you all standing around for? Don't you have jobs to do?"

The atmosphere rapidly shifted to alarm and straightening spines. "Hai, Hokage-sama!"

Once they were out of sight, Tsunade's weariness dragged at her shoulders and feet. Being in a coma for two weeks was more draining that she would have thought. She longed to rest her aching head on Kakashi's shoulder, but she didn't dare. But she did notice he slowed his pace to match hers. For once, she was too tired to argue. "So... the Rokudaime, hmm?"

Kakashi ducked his head, as if embarrassed. "Hai. They were desperate, so I agreed. But you're back now, so it doesn't matter."

Except it did matter. Very much so. Tsunade didn't try to hide the hope in her voice. "That must mean they pardoned you."

"Hai." But Kakashi's silver eyebrows were drawn, as if troubled.

Before Tsunade could ask what was bothering him, a loud cheer startled her back to the present. Villagers and shinobi alike were clustering around their tents as she walked by, joy and relief lighting up every face. Tsunade took in the cheering around her, a strange, warm sensation filling her chest. Had they all been that concerned for her? Finally, she gathered herself enough to smile and wave as they continued through the camp.

Kakashi leaned in to murmur, "Naruto may be their hero, but you are their rock. See how much you mean to them?"

Tsunade's eyes stung. And she, lost in her grief and self-loathing, had almost abandoned them. Again. She whispered past the lump in her throat, "I don't deserve them, Kakashi."

"Maa, I think you should let them be the judge of that." Kakashi tipped his masked chin at the crowd.

Tsunade took in the beaming faces around her and Kakashi at her side, his arm solid and warm against hers. For a moment, she let herself believe that maybe, just maybe, things would turn out for the better.

Until the elders slapped her in the face with a single word.

"No."

Tsunade clenched her teeth, fighting the urge to tap her heel on the ground and send them into a crater. "Do you even realize what you are doing? You pardoned Kakashi for your own needs and you cannot cast him away just because those needs are gone!"

"Tsunade-sama..." Shikaku warned. But regret and weariness creased his scarred face, and she knew he agreed with her, though he couldn't voice it.

Koharu lifted her sagging chin. "We are beyond relieved that you have regained consciousness, Tsunade-sama. But Hatake's presence is a liability, now that we have you back. Konoha needs stability, and a missing-nin who killed one of our own does not fit into that. It is better if he leaves."

Kakashi had remained silent for the entire discussion, but now he turned to her, gaze steady with resolve—a resolve she didn't want to see. "Tsunade-sama—"

"No. I will not grant you this." Tsunade glared at Koharu and Homura. She curled her fingers into fists to keep from trembling. She couldn't lose Kakashi. Not now. Not when she finally had him back. "War is coming, and we need Kakashi here. Even you must agree that—"

"Now is not the time to involve the council in a matter like this," Homura said flatly. "And we will, if you persist in defying us. Kakashi Hatake must leave, for the good of Konoha."

Tsunade bowed her head, though everything in her wanted to scream. Was it better for Konoha if Kakashi was gone? She couldn't believe that. But what could she do? The elders were right about one thing, now was not the time to get into a confrontation with the council. She would have to let him go. Again.

"Tsunade-sama, don't let your personal feelings get in the way." Koharu's voice had softened... or had she imagined it? "We will allow you to keep in contact with Hatake, and call him to aid us if the need arises. But that is all we can do."

Tsunade closed her eyes. Perhaps Koharu was more perceptive than she let on. Regardless, she didn't have a choice. Her chest ached with every throb of her heart. "Very well."

"Maa, I should be heading out, then." Kakashi lifted his hand in farewell, though he avoided Tsunade's gaze. "It was good to be back for a little while. And I am always at your service, Hokage-sama." With that, he turned and strolled in the direction of where Konoha's gate used to be.

Tsunade stared after him, the hollowness in her stomach spreading to her chest. Just like that? He was going to leave just like that? After everything, he was going to walk away like nothing had happened? By the shinobi gods, he had _died_. And she... had nearly done so. If he hadn't saved her.

No. She wasn't going to let him leave so easily.

"Now that he is dealt with," Koharu began, "we should discuss the ramifications of—"

"Pardon the interruption," Tsunade said coldly, not sorry at all. "But I have just come out of a coma less than half an hour ago. These discussions have waited for two weeks; I think they can wait a little longer. So, if you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

Either she had stunned the elders into silence, or they had no comeback, because they remained quiet as she walked away.

Tsunade quickened her pace, desperate to reach the gate in time to catch Kakashi. She climbed the last mound of boulders around the remains of the gate, and caught a glimpse of silver hair. "Kakashi!"

Kakashi halted, and faced her. His stance was easy, with his hand in his pocket, the emotions reflected in his eye revealed his feelings. Leaving was just as hard for him as it was for her. "Tsunade-sama? Did you need something?"

Tsunade walked down to meet him, all too aware that they were in full view of anyone who looked in their direction. "It was you, wasn't it? You went into my mind. Somehow, Ino..."

Kakashi waited, but when she didn't finish her sentence, he nodded. "Hai. You needed to know that there was still hope." He smiled gently. "I am glad I was able to see the things in your past that made you who you are."

How did he always say things that turned her insides to mush? Tsunade folded her arms tightly, otherwise she would wrap them around Kakashi—no matter who was watching. "Well... I wanted to say thank you. For saving me. I know it wasn't easy." An understatement, but she'd done her best.

Kakashi stepped up to her, and before she could object, tipped her chin to face him. "Tsuna, you saved me first." He kissed her forehead with masked lips, and pulled back, eye crinkled with a smile. "I will always be there for you. I promised, didn't I?"

"I..." Tsunade was unable to hold a foolish smile in, but she no longer cared who saw it. "I expect you to return the moment I send for you."

"Of course, Hokage-sama." Kakashi bowed, though his intense gaze never left hers. "I have a feeling Konoha may need me again sooner rather than later."

"Hai." Tsunade looked to the horizon, and shivered. War was coming. And with it, blood, hate, screams... and the dying. She shook herself, and focused back on Kakashi. "I fear the worst is yet to come."

Kakashi's nod was grim. He turned to leave, but impulse struck Tsunade, and she moved forward, grabbing his hand. He stopped, and looked back questioningly. "Tsunade?"

"Don't..." Tsunade swallowed hard, fighting to regain control. Gods, she hated feeling weak. "Don't die. I—I can't lose you again."

Kakashi squeezed her hand, his thumb gently brushing the inside of her wrist. Then he was gone, vanishing into the trees surrounding Konoha's crater.

Tsunade stood alone, unmoving, until the sun sank below the treetops. Even though Kakashi was gone, hope stirred in her chest. No matter what came to Konoha, they would overcome it. Together.

Because that was what it meant to endure.


	34. Grief

Even the sky was crying.

Kakashi tipped his face up to the dark, cloudy sky, letting the raindrops sprinkle the exposed skin above his mask. He still wasn't used to the full vision from both eyes, though he couldn't deny it was nice, if a bit unsettling to no longer have Obito's Sharingan to rely on.

_Obito._

His teammate had been alive after all these years... and he hadn't known it. Kakashi closed his eyes. But he should have known. Should have been there for him. Instead, his friend had been left alone, to slowly succumb and be twisted by Madara's hatred, until he had been nearly unrecognizable. In the end, Obito had remembered who he once was. But now, he was dead. In the end... Kakashi had failed Obito again.

Kakashi opened his eyes, taking in the rest of the shinobi gathering for the mass funeral memorial from his unobtrusive spot in the back. In the end, they had won. But right now, with the grief of so many lives lost hanging in the air, it hardly felt like it.

"Hatake."

Kakashi turned to greet the toad sage as the white-haired man hobbled to his side, leaning heavily on a cane. "Hai, Jiraiya-san. How are you feeling?"

"I could be worse." Jiraiya shrugged his large shoulders, as if it didn't matter. But the set to his jaw said otherwise. "I only regret that I was unable to fight along the allied forces. I'm a man of action, you know."

"Hai." Kakashi kept his voice carefully neutral. Jiraiya wouldn't appreciate sympathy for what he saw as only doing his duty. Kakashi glanced ruefully at his own left stump; the result of his choice, and his alone. "I understand. Not being as strong as I once was... is frustrating. But at the same time, I don't regret my choices that brought me here."

Jiraiya grunted. "And what choice are you going to make now, Hatake?"

Kakashi eyed his superior. Was this the real reason Jiraiya had sought him out? "What do you mean?"

"I mean her." Jiraiya nodded across the field of shinobi.

Kakashi followed his gaze to Tsunade, who was walking to the front of the gathered shinobi. She was wearing a black kimono, but over it was a long white and red haori he'd never seen before, with the kanji for Godaime down the back. And for the first time since her induction, she wore the hokage's hat. All was a sign of respect for those who died for what the hokage represented. He swallowed painfully. "I'm not sure I follow, Jiraiya-san."

"The war is over, Hatake. The war you fought in and helped win." Jiraiya faced him, as serious as Kakashi had ever seen him. "The elders have agreed to pardon Sasuke Uchiha."

Kakashi froze. Pardoned...? "Are you certain?"

"Hai."

Kakashi watched Tsunade position herself in front of the memorial stone and face the grieving shinobi. Her spine was straight and her face serene, but he knew she felt the loss as much as the rest of them. He curled his fingers into a fist. And he couldn't be there for her.

Jiraiya leaned closer and murmured, "So, what are you going to do, Hatake?"

Tsunade started her speech, and Jiraiya limped away, leaving Kakashi alone. He'd placed himself at the back of the crowd so he could slip away as soon as the memorial ended, but now...

Tsunade's gaze met his. Somehow, even across the hundreds of gathered shinobi, she had found him. Her words didn't falter, but in that brief glimpse, the crushing burden of grief and the strain of holding everyone else together, flickered through her shadowed eyes. She closed them briefly, and refocused on the crowd.

She thought he was leaving her. Again.

Kakashi's chest cramped. And he remembered that among the hundreds of reincarnated shinobi, Dan Katō had been one of them. How much had it hurt, to see him again and then watch him leave? And now she thought that Kakashi, too, was leaving.

 _No_. Kakashi made up his mind. Tsunade had had enough taken from her. The war was over and the elders no longer had anything to hold over him. He'd do whatever it took to gain his pardon. And so, as soon as Tsunade finished her speech, he vanished into the rain.

Unaware that when she searched for him again, he was gone. And a familiar heaviness settled in her heart.

* * *

As an elder of Konoha, Koharu's expansive home was nice. Much nicer than anything Kakashi would ever have. He leaned against the wall, next to a tapestry that likely cost more than a year of rent. The house was dark, except for a single lamp in the corner, the light flickering on the red and gold threads in the tapestry.

Kakashi didn't have to wait long until the door creaked open, and Koharu shuffled in, kicking off her muddied sandals with a sigh of relief. He made no attempt to hide his presence, and she stiffened. "Breaking into an elder's home isn't a good look for you, Kakashi Hatake."

Kakashi didn't move. Instead, he merely watched the elder's shadowed movements through half-lidded eyes. "You pardoned Sasuke Uchiha."

Koharu grunted. But she only started past Kakashi to the kitchen. "I'll make some tea."

Kakashi waited until Koharu returned with a steaming teapot and two cups on a tray, then sat on the couch opposite her. He accepted the cup she handed him and breathed in the fragrant steam. "Maa, thanks."

Koharu poured her own cup, but she settled back on her couch and stared at him instead of drinking it. "And you think you deserve the same pardon?"

"Hai. I do." Kakashi held her gaze as he took a sip of tea. His eyes widened. Whatever else Koharu was, she made excellent tea.

"I agree." Koharu finally lifted the tea to her lips.

Kakashi sensed a 'but' coming, but Koharu merely continued placidly sipping her tea. So, he smiled and set his cup on the table. "I'm glad we could come to an agreement, then. I'll go—"

"But," Koharu interrupted, as he'd known she would, "your situation is not the same as Uchiha's."

Kakashi slowly leaned back. "How so?"

"It is obvious to me that your feelings towards the Godaime are... shall we say, more than platonic. Feelings that she clearly returns." Koharu placed her cup down. "So, you tell me, Kakashi Hatake. Should you return?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. He knew what Koharu was referring to. Konoha had just survived a war, and needed Tsunade at her best. All of her attention, time, and dedication. Things that his presence might disrupt, in Koharu's mind. But she was only an outsider, looking in. She didn't know how having someone by your side, who loved and understood you, made you stronger and your resolve greater. "Maa, you are only looking at one side of this. But I think there is just one question that matters."

Koharu's mouth pinched, as if offended. But she only said, "What question?"

Kakashi leaned forward, resting his elbow on his knee. "Do you trust Tsunade and myself to act in Konoha's best interest no matter the circumstances? That is our job, after all. If not, then perhaps you need a new hokage."

Koharu closed her eyes, but he didn't miss the anger that flashed through them first. "You have made your point." She opened her eyes, expression serene once more. "But I haven't yet told you why we agreed to Sasuke Uchiha's pardon."

Kakashi's fingers twitched. He should have known Koharu would have one last trap to spring. "Then please inform me."

Koharu smiled. "It was granted on one condition: that he complete one last mission as a shinobi unaffiliated with Konoha."

Then the subject of the mission must be something Konoha couldn't—or wouldn't—condone. Tension tightened his muscles like a coiled spring and Kakashi gave a harsh laugh. "Am I right in assuming that the same conditions apply to my pardon?"

In answer, Koharu held out a small scroll. Kakashi took it, scanning the contents as she spoke, "This war was devastating to Konoha. I think you know that we wouldn't have won if it wasn't for the jinchūriki, Naruto Uzumaki. But victory came at a heavy price, and we would do anything to prevent another war."

We? Or just Koharu? Kakashi unfurled the scroll farther, and a sick feeling sank his stomach. It was all the same. A list of names. Most of whom he didn't recognize. "What is this list?"

"Those who helped or supported the Akatsuki through the years." Koharu laced her fingers and continued, "Your targets. You were once one of Anbu's top members, were you not? I expect you to go through this list and take care of them quickly and quietly. We cannot afford any loose ends."

Kakashi stared at the list numbly. How many of these had been coerced or simply tricked into helping the Akatsuki? He was supposed to assassinate them all in cold blood, regardless? He lifted his eyes to Koharu, who met his gaze calmly. Chills crept through his body. This list was something Danzō would have done. But now he wondered... in the past, how much had been Danzō, and how much had been Koharu? The scroll crumpled under his grip. "You knew I would come to you."

"Of course I did. You and Uchiha will not gain your pardons until that list is completed. Konoha will not condone assassinations." Koharu's voice softened a fraction. "Contrary to what you might think, I am not a second Danzō."

That was exactly what he thought. Kakashi clamped his eyes shut. Asking him to do this was one thing, but how could they do this to Sasuke? The boy had just left the dark and forcing him to do this could very well send him back. He exhaled slowly. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't fail Sasuke like he had failed Obito. "Then prove it. I will accept this mission, on one condition."

Koharu stiffened. "What is it?"

"I want to do it alone. Give Sasuke his pardon, and let him make his choices freely." Kakashi met her gaze, drawing on every last bit of coldness he could summon. "I am more experienced and he will get in my way."

Another slow smile flickered across Koharu's creased lips. "You are more softhearted than you appear, Kakashi Hatake. Very well, I will accept your desire to protect your former student. This mission will be yours." She lifted a finger. "You cannot speak of this to anyone, especially the hokage."

_Tsunade._

Bile churned Kakashi's stomach and he pressed his fingers to his aching eyes. What would she think if she knew what he'd agreed to? He inhaled slowly through his mouth, so he wouldn't vomit all over Koharu's table, though she deserved it. Would Tsunade even want him with this blood on his hands? The blood he'd shed in the past was one thing; agreeing to do it again was another matter entirely.

But he had to, for Sasuke.

Kakashi lowered his hand and stared at his pale fingers dully. How long until they dripped with blood again? Worse, he knew he couldn't tell Tsunade what he was going to do. He wouldn't be able to bear it if she saw him for what he was: a killer. He'd endured from his friends and colleagues, and even enemies, back when Rin had died and he'd joined Anbu. But not Tsunade.

Besides, with the end of the war she already had enough to deal with. It would be better if she didn't know.

Kakashi met Koharu's calculating gaze, and his heart squeezed painfully. "Agreed."

* * *

Exhausting. Tsunade trudged up the stairway to her office, heels clomping dully on the wooden steps. That was the only word to describe the past seventy-two hours. Holding everyone together—holding herself together—after all the destruction, all the death, had completely drained her. And even though she was finally alone, she doubted she had the strength to cry her unshed tears.

Yet here she was, going back to her office after everyone else had returned home from the funeral. Tsunade opened the door, wearily rubbing her eyes as she made her way to her desk. But she couldn't bear to be in her dark, empty home. Not now.

Not after the memory of everything she had lost remained fresh in her mind.

Not after the Tsukuyomi.

Tsunade sat heavily in her chair and set her still-damp hokage hat to the side, but was unable to focus on the pile of papers in front of her. She groaned. _No_. She didn't want to remember. But the memories pounded against her skull incessantly, begging her to remember. Because for a moment, a beautiful, perfect moment, she'd had everything.

_Nawaki had sat at this very desk, grinning when he saw her. He'd grown into a fine man, and the hokage's hat rested atop his light brown hair, as if it had always been there. As if it belonged there._

_Orochimaru stood on Nawaki's right in an advisor's position, gazing down almost fondly at his former student, and ignoring Jiraiya as the sage tried to shove his newest book in his teammate's face. Hiruzen-sensei sat in the corner, watching their antics and smirking as he smoked his pipe. But always ready to interject a stern word if needed._

_A warm hand slid into hers, and Tsunade had looked up into Dan's smiling face. A blond child was perched on his shoulders, giggling as he played with his father's long silver-blue hair._

_Perfect. Just like she'd always want—_

Wait.

Tsunade's eyes flew open, wide and unseeing. Where—where was Kakashi? She hadn't thought of him even once during the dream. It was as if he'd never existed. Her chest tightened painfully. Didn't the Tsukuyomi show what you wanted most? But... but there was nothing she wanted more than Kakashi. Everything in her dream was impossible, and she had come to peace with it. Or so she'd thought.

Tsunade stared at her fists, clenched in her lap. Could that be it? The Tsukuyomi only gave her what was impossible? Then that meant... a future with Kakashi was still possible. And Naruto—he hadn't been in her dream either. She sank back into her chair, lightheaded with relief. Yes. After everything, she still had two men she loved. And they were everything to her.

Strange how the dream that had tormented her for the past three days now gave her a sense of comfort. Her dream—her new dream—was still safe.

Tsunade shifted her gaze to the paperwork waiting in front of her, and sighed. She was too tired to get any work done tonight. But she had no desire to go back to her big, empty house either. Especially not when she remembered... remembered looking to the back of the muddy field for Kakashi at the end of the funeral, needing the comfort his presence would give her. But emptiness had greeted her. Kakashi was gone again, and this time he hadn't even stayed to say goodbye. So, the aching hollow in her stomach remained.

Enough of this. Tsunade pushed to her feet, throat tight. Perhaps she could sleep on the couch in the conference room. As long as she woke up before Shizune—

A scrape. A presence at the window—Tsunade spun, her heart lurching. It couldn't be...

A familiar slouched silhouette filled the open window, and Kakashi jumped down to the floor. He slid his hand into his pocket. "Hai, Tsunade."

All it took was the sound of his voice. The walls she had relied on the past seventy-two hours to hold in her grief, her fear, to keep going, crumbled. Tsunade stumbled around her chair, eyes only for him. "Kakashi..." Unable to stop herself, her voice caught in a sob. "You're—you're here?"

Kakashi's expression shifted, and he strode forward, meeting her halfway. The next moment, Tsunade had wrapped her arms around his warm, solid body, and she buried her face in his chest, even as her tears finally streamed free. A single phrase repeated through her mind, filling the cold emptiness with warmth: _He was here._ Kakashi's arm pulled her closer, and his chin rested atop her head, shifting slightly as he murmured, "Of course I came, Tsuna. I couldn't let you be alone."

Tsunade smiled through her tears, though he couldn't see it. Of course, he would be gone again by morning, but she couldn't let herself think about that. She needed him right now, and he was here. "You don't know how glad I... After—after everything…"

"I know." Kakashi's hand moved to stroking her hair, and Tsunade closed her eyes, relaxing with the soothing motions. He didn't try to move, so she stayed where she was and just let him hold her.

After soaking in his warmth for a few minutes, Tsunade finally regained enough control to pull back and look up into his face. "I thought you left."

"I had some business to deal with." Kakashi frowned and tipped her chin up, gazing at her face intently. "Tsunade, you look exhausted. Come, I'll take you home so you can sleep."

"No." Tsunade pulled free and walked away, toward the conference room. By some miracle, her voice remained steady. "I'm not going home tonight." Besides, if Kakashi took her home, he would leave. She wasn't ready for that. She would never be ready for that. She stopped next to the couch and clamped her eyes shut. "After—after everything, I can't just go to sleep. So many of my shinobi are dead, Kakashi."

Kakashi had followed her silently, as she'd known he would. His hand rested on her shoulder and he gave a gentle squeeze, pushing her forward. "Tsunade. Sit on the couch. Rest."

Tsunade shook her head, but she sank onto the couch anyway, too tired to argue. "I don't want you to leave."

Kakashi sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. His chest rumbled against her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Liar," Tsunade muttered, but that didn't stop her from curling into his side and resting her head on his shoulder. She breathed in the familiar scent of pine and metal, and relaxed. Maybe... maybe she could sleep for a little while. But the fear that Kakashi would leave as soon as she did kept her eyes open.

"You did everything you could. All of us did." Kakashi rested his cheek on her head. "But war always brings death."

"I know." Tsunade's mouth pinched. In a way, she could almost understand Orochimaru's driving desire to cheat death. Because if she could find a way to keep those she loved from it... She sighed. No. Death was a part of life. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

"No. It doesn't." Kakashi straightened, studying her. He seemed almost... tense. "I heard Dan was reincarnated."

"Hai." Tsunade slid a glance at him, tempted to smile at his adorable, worried expression. But she didn't want to tease him. Not about this. "We spoke. It was good to gain closure after all this time. He is proud of me for becoming hokage."

"I see." Kakashi's voice held a note of relief, but his gaze flickered away from hers, clearly trying to hide his questions.

This time, Tsunade did smile. She placed her hand on Kakashi's thigh, and his gaze jerked back to hers, startled. "And he said that he wants me to move on with someone who will make me happy, because that's all he's ever wanted for me. To find a new dream and live it."

"Hmm." Kakashi pulled her closer, so that she was almost in his lap. Her cheeks warmed, but she was too tired to object. At least, that's what she told herself as Kakashi's intense gaze held hers. "And what did you tell him?"

Tsunade let Kakashi's embrace pull her forward, and she leaned against his strong chest, her head resting in the crook of his neck. "I told him... I already have."

"I'm glad to hear it." Kakashi sighed, as if he, too, wanted to forget the events of the day. "This feels familiar, doesn't it?"

Tsunade shivered, and it wasn't from her rain-damped clothes. "What are you talk—?" And then it came to her. Years ago, in Kakashi's apartment, where she'd been drunk and clingy. The tingle of embarrassment spread from her face and down to her stomach. Gods. Even worse, she didn't remember anything from that night besides fragments of walking to his apartment and Kakashi holding her on the couch. "I was drunk, Kakashi. Maybe you remember, but I don't—"

"Maa, that's too bad." Kakashi glanced at her, then fixed his gaze on the opposite side of the room. Was he... blushing? He tilted his head, though he still didn't look at her. "You said you liked my hair."

Tsunade straightened, a slow smile overtaking her lips. It had been too long since she'd been able to tease him, and they both needed a distraction. She leaned in, only inches away, and slid her hand around his neck to play with the short silver hair at his nape. She lowered her voice to a purr, "I _do_ like your hair."

Kakashi swallowed audibly, and his voice had a slight rasp, "Then you said that I didn't have to hide myself from you, and..."

"And?" Tsunade asked innocently. Their bodies were pressed so close together all she could feel was the heat of his skin and every pulse of his wildly beating heart.

"You..." Kakashi's gaze dropped to her mouth and his sentence ended in a stammering, "...m-my mask..."

"Never hide yourself from me," Tsunade whispered, moving in so close Kakashi seemed to stop breathing. With slow, deliberate movements, she found his mask and pulled it down, letting her fingers trace down his flushed cheeks and lips. She paused and smiled, the movement brushing his lips, breath mingling with his. "You know... you're cute when you're blushing."

"Wha...?" It was Kakashi's turn to react drunkenly; his movements sluggish as he lifted his gaze to her eyes.

Tsunade pressed her lips to his. Kakashi jerked, then he returned the kiss with a groan in his throat. "Tsuna..."

She may have been the one teasing him, but only now did Tsunade realize how parched she had been. She drank in Kakashi; the taste of him the only thing that could quench her thirst. She deepened her kisses, drowning in the sensation of his warm lips on hers and never wanting to come up for air.

But she had to.

Tsunade shoved away her unwanted thoughts, but when she kissed Kakashi again, the taste of salt betrayed her. Kakashi must have caught it too, because he pulled back, panting. Tsunade's eyes stung, but she forced it back. No. She wasn't ready. She would never be ready.

"Tsunade?" Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed in concern and he reached up to wipe moisture from her cheek. "What is it?"

Tsunade bit her lip hard, but her hands trembled in spite of herself. "That was goodbye."

Kakashi stared at her. "Tsuna—"

"You don't have to say anything." Tsunade close her eyes to regain control. "I know what you have to do. What we have to do."

And come morning, she would be alone again.

"I heard Sasuke was pardoned." Kakashi's voice was low and unreadable.

"Hai." Tsunade wasn't sure why he was changing the subject to that, but she was grateful. "But he won't be staying, at least, not for a while. He wants to give those in Konoha space after everything he's done and travel for a while. To 'atone for his actions' are his words."

"Ah." Kakashi lowered his head for a long moment, then lifted his gaze back to hers. "Tsunade, I found a way to gain my pardon too."

"Wh-what?" Tsunade searched his face frantically, but he was all seriousness. Then... did that mean...? "How? When? Are you—are you...?"

"That was the business I had after the funeral." Kakashi's jaw clenched and unclenched, his eyes stormy. "The war is over and Konoha is safe. I wanted to be here, with you. Jiraiya-san told me Sasuke had been pardoned, so I went to Koharu to gain my own." His gaze flickered away, as if he was unable to look at her. "They don't trust Sasuke, so they asked me to go with him when he leaves, to keep an eye on him. When we return, we will both have our pardon."

He still wouldn't look at her. Tsunade straightened, anger pulsing hot. How dare the elders put such demands on him? She was still the hokage, and she would... Realization halted the barrage of thoughts. Why he couldn't face her. Her anger seeped away as quickly as it had come. "You want to go with him."

"I have to." Kakashi exhaled, his head drooping in defeat. "I failed him once, and I can't do it again... not like I did with Obito. Sasuke is powerful, more powerful than I'll ever be, but he's still just a lost kid. Tsunade, I can't—I can't let him go back to the darkness. I know how easy it is."

Tsunade's heart broke at the torment in his voice. Clearly, he felt like he was choosing between her and Sasuke. But she understood. And she couldn't let him live with any more guilt. "Kakashi." She placed her hands on either side of his face, raising his head. "I know. I won't stop you. Go with Sasuke. He needs you."

"Tsunade..." Kakashi stared at her, expression anguished. "I don't know how long it will take. I could be gone for ye—"

"And I will be here when you return." She held his gaze steadily, and gradually, his eyes softened. The tension left his body, and he melted into her with a sigh. Tsunade wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close, close enough that he couldn't see the tears silently running down her face.

She knew he was hiding something, but she couldn't make herself ask him what it was, not when it was already causing him so much pain. She clamped her aching eyes shut. No, she wouldn't ask Kakashi. But one way or another, she would force the details out of the elders, and they would regret hiding it from her.

"One month," she murmured, the soft silver hair behind his ear tickling her lips.

"Hmm?" Kakashi's breath warmed her collarbone, but he didn't lift his head. If anything, he seemed to pull her closer.

"We have one month. That's when Sasuke Uchiha will be allowed to leave." Tsunade closed her eyes, inhaling his scent. For one month, she would have Kakashi at her side. She still had a lot of work to do, but— "Ack!" Tsunade jerked back, hand automatically lifting to her ear in shock. Had—had Kakashi just nipped her ear? A hot blush rose to her cheeks. "Kakashi! What—what are you...?"

Kakashi smirked, a gleam in his eyes she hadn't seen before. "You know... you're cute when you're blushing, Tsunade-sama." He brushed a strand of hair from her face, warm fingers lingering on her skin. "Maa, I wonder how many times I can get you flustered in a month?"

"Kakashi!" Tsunade smacked his hand away. _Gods_. Now she was hot all over. She slid off his lap, just to remind him who he was dealing with, and huffed. "I'd like to see you try."

She flushed. Wrong choice of words.

Kakashi only tilted his head—though he was clearly struggling to conceal a smile—and placed his large, warm hand over hers and laced their fingers. "I'm sorry, I forgot my place. Please forgive me."

"As you should be. I am your hokage, after all." Tsunade didn't attempt to hide her own smile, and she raised herself enough to kiss Kakashi's beauty mark at the corner of his mouth. "Your place is with me. And don't forget it."

Kakashi's response was to lean forward, capturing her lips with his own almost desperately, as if afraid he might lose her. But she wasn't going anywhere. As Tsunade lost herself in the blissfulness of the kiss and the taste of Kakashi, she couldn't help another smile.

One month.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! First off, I will admit that I am fairly new to Naruto, but I fell in love with the characters and story, especially Tsunade (and Kakashi). I did my best with the politics, jutsus, honorifics, and the like. I welcome feedback, especially if something is in error, and some of the timeline/events from Naruto are changed slightly to fit the story.


End file.
